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Let's Go...Dutch?!?!

Discussion in 'Civ4 - Stories & Tales' started by mbkkbm, Jan 10, 2012.

  1. trexeric

    trexeric (or backwards 'cirexert')

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    A Is my answer.
     
  2. Alexius08

    Alexius08 Emperor

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  3. Akbarthegreat

    Akbarthegreat Angel of Junil

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    Great update!:goodjob:
    :agree:

    :confused:
     
  4. Jwitti

    Jwitti Judas Maccabeus

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    apostolic palace
     
  5. Akbarthegreat

    Akbarthegreat Angel of Junil

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    Right! and for that, a new smilie ---:eekdance::eekdance::eekdance:
     
  6. mayor

    mayor Heart & Mind

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    who is Limmerick? :p

    C&A
     
  7. mbkkbm

    mbkkbm Silly American

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    A limerick is an extremely annoying form of poetry

    Example: There once was a lass in the staffroom...
    who found a long and thin broom
    she waved it about
    with a scream and a shout
    and cleaned up the whole of her classroom..
     
  8. hoplitejoe

    hoplitejoe Top fun-poster

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    I am impressed you got a limerick clean enough to post on this forum :p
     
  9. mayor

    mayor Heart & Mind

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    hehe
    But I know WHAT a limmerick is ;)

    You said "You're Limmerick" so I asked WHO is limmerick :p
     
  10. Mr. Sulu

    Mr. Sulu Liberal Democrat

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    I chose....... option A. Attack Rome!
     
  11. mbkkbm

    mbkkbm Silly American

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    HISTORY OF THE WORLD: THE NETHERLANDS

    The early 1700’s were bad years for the Netherlands. Despite rapidly advancing in technology, the plague called Cholera struck in 1733 and ravaged the Empire. Around this time, the First World Council was assembled in Tenochtitlan, hosted by their vassals the Aztecs. Obviously, they were invited, as they were the most powerful nation in the world.
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    The air was ripe with tension. Whose lands would be taken away, and who would gain? There was a massive scurrying by the intelligence forces of each nation to bribe and trick other nations into voting for them. Tokugawa, ruler of Japan, asked for no cities so as to not offend anyone. Ming Tai Zhu of China demanded a Mongolian city. As the Dutch stifled a yawn, their request was denied. Suleiman wanted Sevastopol, a Russian strongpoint on the Black Sea. After considering that the Netherlands hated both nation for being so barbaric, but hated the Ottomans more, the Dutch led the nations in denying this request. Montezuma wanted a small native city called Coyuca. As no one hated Montezuma, and his soldiers surrounded the building, a unanimous vote was taken and Montezuma received the city. The Portuguese, a steadfast friend of the Dutch, wanted Sofala, a native city. The Dutch forced the vote over the top and, with a vote count of 5-3, the Portuguese got their city. The now-drunk Dutch ambassador accidently asked for Oporto, and was obviously denied. Catherine, of the Russians, wanted Riga but was destroyed, losing 3-2. Saladin, an enemy of the Turks, wanted Delhi, and, as a gift to help him fight the Turks, was given to him.
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    Around this time, a Civilization called America was formed. These colonies were based almost exactly off the Dutch government and were obviously nice allies.

    By 1745, the Dutch looked south to Rome. Rome, the glorious eternal city, was ruled by savages. A pact was made with Russia in case of an attack by the Ottomans and troops were assigned near the area. Rome was taken in 1763 by a cautious Dutch government. Now, the Netherlands had 20,000,000 people, as the Census recorded.
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  12. trexeric

    trexeric (or backwards 'cirexert')

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    Awesome Update! Nice work!
     
  13. GHalfrunt

    GHalfrunt Just zis guy, you know?

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    Go Netherlands! Crush backwards Europe under the boot of liberty! LOL.
     
  14. MaxWar

    MaxWar King

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    In America's hat.
    hehehe :p
     
  15. Akbarthegreat

    Akbarthegreat Angel of Junil

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    Nice:clap:
    I will certainly found Tours in my next game.
     
  16. thecaesar

    thecaesar Will appear randomly

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  17. mbkkbm

    mbkkbm Silly American

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    HISTORY OF THE WORLD: THE NETHERLANDS

    1769 was a disaster. In Australia, Niew Holland was conquered by the “ignorant savages”. They were apparently angry as a hunter shot a local chief for the incredibly complex reason of him “being there”. It was conquered, and, once the original anger receded, it was realized this was actually saving the Empire a “boat load” of money.
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    To use this new cash flow, London built a majestic winter palace for the Prime Minister, known as the Kremlin. This massive building was quickly occupied by paper-pushers who stood around and turned oxygen into carbon dioxide and methane.
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    Meanwhile, by 1772, many of the Dutch had immigrated to Belfast, in Ireland. They were reaping huge rewards, as the “Emerald Isles” were a completely untapped market. Because of the taxes that had to be paid because Belfast wasn’t technically in the Empire, Dutch merchants organized a massive revolt to join the Empire.
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    In 1778, a military expedition advanced into Byzantine territory. The Byzantines were an ancient Empire who couldn’t adapt to modern military methods. Or so what became to be called “The Ill-fated 78’s” thought.
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    By 1781, the Dutch merchants’ mission was completed. Belfast had joined the Empire, and these same merchants set their covetous eyes south, to Limerick, another untapped market.
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    The fatal attack began in 1781. The Calvary attacked the Byzantine capital of Constantinople and was slaughtered. All four divisions were lost. “Black Sunday”, as the day became to be known, was now a day of national mourning. The Turks, eventually, snuck in to take the weakened city. Public hatred of all non-Dutch people soared. The riflemen divisions survived and were updated to deal with the new Ottoman threat. Because of this horrible expedition, a new general, named Francisco Pizarro was born and went to the front to train the troops. His infantry division became the Model Division, which was copied all over the country.
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    Earlier, however, the Infantry from Belfast headed south and almost took Limerick. Due to a furious resistance, it was determined the troops needed a few more year of peace to saturate the people of Limerick with pro-Dutch propaganda. This new idea, called “Economic Warfare” would eventually become the model of Dutch warfare; Saturate the economy, then send in incredibly advanced troops to wipe away whatever resistance remained and be “saviors of the economy”. Limerick was taken in 1790, and, as the population resisted the takeover too much, the city was burned to the ground in retaliation for the murder of the commanding general by a guerilla gang.
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    By 1793, Sinan, a Dutch Engineer, designed the first corporation. This was designed to reap enormous profits while the CEO’s laughed evilly while buying planes. (They didn’t have any jets yet.) This spread incredibly quickly, and soon owned all engineering hiring in the city. Amsterdam, meanwhile built a massive monument to the ancient kings, William van Oranje the Founder, King William II the Explorer and French Killer, King Ricard II the English Slayer, and King John III the Last King.
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    The sinking of a Portuguese galley that was reported to attack a much larger East Indiamen sparker the First World War. The Netherlands demanded that Portugal apologize for the ship being in Dutch territory and pay for the 255 cannonballs needed to sink it. The Portuguese told them, in summary, that the Dutch “should stick to making roads, you flea bitten losers!” This undiplomatic comment started WWI, and the Dutch and Mexico declared war on Portugal and Russia declared war on the Dutch and Mexico.
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    The Dutch struck first, and in 1799 took hundreds of Portuguese workers. They also spread Mining Inc. (the first corporation) into Maastricht, to help with the attack. Madrid was taken in 1802, and the army planned its next assault. Spain, with Madrid out of the hands of the Portuguese, declared independence. The Netherlands simply shook their hands and realized a weakened Spain could keep Portugal busy. Mining Inc. spread to ‘s-Gravenhage to help the war effort on the Eastern Front, against Russia. Another council was to be held in ‘s-Gravenhage to resolve issues, it was announced in 1813.
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    Questions raged. Who would be allowed in? Would Spain get cities back? What would Portugal do if they were let in?
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    Stay tuned.
     
  18. Alexius08

    Alexius08 Emperor

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    A respawn during a golden age? Impossible.
     
  19. brandon.herren

    brandon.herren NorthKorea Waterbottles:)

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    2 Cities in Ireland? Not the independent's brightest idea... :goodjob: Nice Update
     
  20. trexeric

    trexeric (or backwards 'cirexert')

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    As always, great update!

    @brandon.herren: I think the English build them, then collapsed/English built Belfast/English built Limerick/etc...
     

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