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Let's make a conspiracy theory!

Discussion in 'Humor & Jokes' started by Swedishguy, Oct 26, 2007.

  1. Swedishguy

    Swedishguy Deity

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    Eskilstuna, Sweden IQ: N/A
    The spanish and the portuguese people are not humans! They are actually another species, Homo Iberius. It has long been thought that the Iberian peninsula was the last bastion for the neanderthaleans and that they died there, but the early europeans settled down with neanderthaleans and created the Iberian species. That could explain some of the weird things going on in Spain and Portugal.

    What's your conspiracy theory?
     
  2. Vince-G

    Vince-G Chieftain

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    Her Majesty's Britannic Domain
    The Freemasons and the Illuminati have teamed together with aliens from Alpha Centauri and have turned the moon into cheese, thus attracting the entire rodent population of Earth. The resultant loss of mass will make the Earth asplode and fulfil their evil plans (whatever they are)!!!!
     
  3. thomas.berubeg

    thomas.berubeg Wandering the World

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    the CIA, KGB, and MI6 have teamed together to destroy forum games... first they took Unser, then Jono, then Splime....


    But were on to them
     
  4. warpus

    warpus In pork I trust

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    Jesus was Polish and will be returning to judge a cabbage roll eating contest.
     
  5. ggganz

    ggganz a.k.a. The Scyphozoa

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    The Swedes have actually been causing our high gas prices. They have been covering up news all over the world and making everybody think that oil was being drilled everywhere, and that the oil supply was going to run out in a few generations. In reality, all the oil of the world is pooled in one great big underground chamber, and it has only one drilling well: in Sweden. They charge so much for it that they make enough money to build fake wells in other locations for news stories, and sometimes to make it really convincing they ship it to the world THROUGH other countires (i.e. Kuwait) so nobody will get suspicious.

    They charge a lot, and Bush isn't really making lots of money from them, but is rather forced to buy from them and thus raise prices so that he can continue to buy it.

    But unbeknownst to America, they use the money to hire average Americans to PRETEND to be from Sweden and spy on us! Swedishguy is one of their less loyal spies, as he has confessed that he is not a Swede.
     
  6. Love

    Love Deity

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    The Chinese government striked on CFC today, high casualties were made, unknown forum acces for many people.
     
  7. ParadigmShifter

    ParadigmShifter Random Nonsense Generator

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    The British Royal Family are not human, they are a race of Lizards.

    But that isn't a made up one, it's what David Icke, a former goalkeeper for Coventry City, actually believes.
     
  8. ArneHD

    ArneHD Just a little bit mad

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    The entire American administration is controlled by a Russians called Yuri. It was part of their secret plan for world domination. Unfortunately they ran out of money and are currently using him as entertainment for the highest bidder. That is why he says so many things that are utterly idiotic.
     
  9. GoodEnoughForMe

    GoodEnoughForMe n.m.s.s.

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    9/11 was actully comitted by pissed off muslims.
     
  10. Eran of Arcadia

    Eran of Arcadia Stormin' Mormon Retired Moderator

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    Let's try to keep them vaguely plausible at least.
     
  11. warpus

    warpus In pork I trust

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    9/11 actually happened on September 10th.

    THE GOVERNMENT DOESN'T WANT YOU TO KNOW
     
  12. ggganz

    ggganz a.k.a. The Scyphozoa

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    Today is really October 29th (in Pacific Time).
     
  13. The Ninja

    The Ninja Secretary of Defense

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    Space, the final frontier...
    Tomorrow is actually yesterday, just no one wants to believe it.
     
  14. GoodSarmatian

    GoodSarmatian Jokerfied Western Male

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    I can't believe nobody has yet mentioned jewish NAzi-communists from mars...
     
  15. Thorvald of Lym

    Thorvald of Lym A Little Sketchy

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    Why won't scientists admit dinosaurs are still alive?

    Why do people deny Nazi super science has kept Hitler alive?

    Why hasn't NASA repeated the moon landing?


    I think they have something to hide...


    Spoiler I think I know what it is :



    That close enough for you?
     
  16. carmen510

    carmen510 Deity

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    (This is an actual theory created by me and my friends on a subway ride, and reformed)

    The trees are really advanced beings, there are really only 51 trees on the surface, the rest on the surface are skeletons, while any others live deep underground. Trees created humans as an experiment, but we broke free. Now, trees are consorting with the chimpanzees to kill all humans. Carrots are actually organic missiles created by the trees, but they met a genetic error, they grow down instead of up. Rabbits now eat the carrots. Potatoes are really super ninjas that help the humans. Dinosaurs also help humans, but are too stupid to be of any help. Trees are also magnetic, and they are pulling meteors to eventually explode the Earth. However, the ozone layer is an ancient tree forcefield that repels meteors. The trees are slowly dismantling it. Video games were created by those who want to save humans. They hurt your eyesight within one year, but by year 10, you are much smarter, but not as smart as the trees. McDonalds is really chemicals that enhance our senses and brainpower, but too much will cause diabetes. Finally, there are the Pink ponies from Pink Ponyland, who can destroy us easily, but their only goal in life is to prance around, so they won't destroy us purposely.

    There you have it in a nutshell.
     
  17. Vietcong

    Vietcong Deity

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    a group of old nazis years ago in a prison just after ww2 concived a plan for a 4th german empire, and created a secreat organization that has been in the works for the past 50 years. today this organization is called the european union, unwitingly all of europe has surrendered to the nazi cause.
    now the 4th empire is readying its self for concquest of the world and ww3
     
  18. Vietcong

    Vietcong Deity

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    o, and lets not forget the chimps.. a few years back chimps whear discoverd useing spears. this is a singe of chimp evolution and its only a matter of time befor thay discover the use of fire and crude stone working.
    well have a revolution of chimps! and it will realy be a planit of the apes
     
  19. carmen510

    carmen510 Deity

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    HIV was really a joint-operation by Britain and the US to kill off all the hippies. However, it was too infantile to be of any effect. In the 1970s, the virus escaped after some humanitarian aid was sent there. The virus evolved quickly in the jungle, and spread to humans in the 1980s.
     
  20. Swiss_Mercenari

    Swiss_Mercenari Comedic Jihadist

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    The Sun is consolidating with the Illuminati and Techno-Walrus Associations to capture the only source of large trees in the USA (located on the west coast, the redwoods). These trees are the largest and most vital in the influential lobby of trees and other photon absorbing matter that threaten the Sun's dominance over the earth, thus causing the particles to not form lava and thus causing the Sun's power in the galaxy (and most importantly the local Sole Ar System) to decline. IT'S TRUE!!! FROM SOURCES CALLED MY INSANE MIND!! Oh and also the Portuguese and Turks are creating guitars and drums (Alvarez, Ibanez, Zildjian) in order to addict people to music and cause their hands and muscles to be degraded. This makes it easier for them to invade.
     

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