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Life In Kagemusha - Casino Style

Discussion in 'Civ3 - Demo Game V: RPG' started by Provolution, Oct 25, 2004.

  1. Provolution

    Provolution Sage of Quatronia

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2004
    Messages:
    10,102
    Location:
    London
    Croupier MOTH is now counting the cards of Epicrisis in the Forbidden Room. Suddenly he said, sorry but Cyc drew up his DZ joker, so you actually lose the game. Cyc had been dragging the DZ joker (demilitarized zone), a special card that could only be used once and then discarded for the rest of the Forbidden Room game history. Such a special card was this card, that it could only be used once. However, the female croupier with the Iroquois feathercrest on her head managed to lose her lit cigarette on the Way deck of cards, and they burnt down to a tiny 2 of Spades, which was the only Way card left, as the other cards burnt away. Still, in the voting of the game, Mayor cyc got the decisive and now I mean final and decisive last card, which even had a personal signature from the man from the gambling commission, Commissioner Moth, and this card was the DZ card, and that card gave a full trump over all other cards, whether they where Pieces, Ways, Home or Oddballs. Oddball was also called furball, due to its association with kittens, since kittens liked to pick up the catlike card and play with it in an odd fashion. However, commissioner MOTH had to investigate all the rigging of the game, in order to investigate if the cheat quota was followed by all sides, especially Epicrisis, which had a track record for hustling in games.

    Commissioner Moth opened carefully to the Forbidden Room players.

    "I'm a little wary to stick my hand into this one as it has been so icky, but here goes...
    As the process leading up to the Main Pot is the responsibility of the Gambling Commission I am hearby asserting my mandates control over this gambling process."

    He continued firmly...

    "There has been several bets and some discussion on the winner of the Forbidden Room. These have primarily occured during the previous commussion primarily sponsored by the Casino Director with the permission of the Gambling Commission."

    Then MOTH concluded...

    "There have been no conclusive winner takes it all bets that have not been upset by changing game circumstances. I have therefore determined via the discussions and betting that the Way combination, now called Crapper should win on building the Forbidden Room game at once we have settled the gambling process in the courthouse and we had some adrenaline rush in the local mission. An override/confirmation bet will be held after the upcoming gambling session".

    Commissioner MOTH then ruled out....

    "I will be requesting that our lawyer Snipelfritz orders a processual payout through the Mission, the Saloon Court, Forbidden Rooom for the combination of Way/Crapper.
    Please feel free to discuss these bets for both this gamble and the upcoming betting tournament in the Forbidden Room."
    _________________

    Prodessor Tim Bentley replied cordially

    "All I have to say is I hope we can manage to get the Forbidden Room game finished this season, as my head begins to feel heavy".

    Mayor Provolution continued...

    "Kagemusha will offer all help in spite of indecision and bickering, and pension any veteran bartenders surviving The Harlot Night in order to quicken The Forbidden Room in the Crapper combination, be it in the Mission or in the Saloon Court. "

    Blackheart, amazed by the game, wanted to become a VIP in this gameroom....

    "As long as I get a lifetime pass to the Forbidden Room!"

    The man designing the very DZ card that won the game, opened, and everyone silenced in respect of this expert mid-game card designer...

    "I am sure the people will have no problem spending our tax dollars to put the session in place to bet on our Forbidden Room. Sadly, they could have had it for free but would rather use the local Yakuza Tojomoto to muscle under our wary neighbors with a needless Sumowrestlergang. We didn't need that, nor do we need the future Forbidden Room Games that this Sumowrestlers would bring in here".

    The DZ card designer continued....

    "You have chosen your fate, gamblers and Casino employees. Now go gamble the world! It's only fitting that the former Harlots remain corrupted for at least a few lifetimes. But wasting money on rushing things to meet this far inferior end is akin to sending in a burdened wallet . The people shouldn't stand for it, but probably will."

    Mayor Cyc, the final pot winner said with a glee of triumph

    "I tried to tell them, DZ..."
    Lawyer Snipelfritz continued

    "I have put your requested lineup in my legal court instructions Comissioner MOTH. I will be talking to Casino Bankier Zarn soon to investigate the possibilities of rushing to the Mission and ending up drunk in the Saloon Court celebrating the Crapper.
    EDIT: I have changed the legal instructions to the Saloon Court-Forbidden Room, as;
    1. The Casino Bankier has not approved a rush to the Mission with Crapper.
    2. I feel that we need the Forbidden Room Main Pot as soon as possible, and a saloon court, which will be rushed, will speed up the drinking process."
    Blackheart replied...

    "I don't see what's wrong with having a sumowrestler. Small forbidden rooms can always be squeezed thin, sumowrestlers can not."

    The designer of the famous DZ last card replied abruptly...

    "We don't need Sumowrestlers, Blackheart. We can take out any troublemaker in our casino by merely looking in their general direction.
    And a Sumowrestler that forces the expense of a rushed saloon courthouse and Mission is ludicrous. The saloon courth loses its worth the minute the main pot is paid out , and will not be the profit bonanza we are hoping for."

    The designer of the decisive DZ card continued sourly...

    "Face it. We had the chance to glamorize a saloon and we blew it. All for bouncing endeavors that are unneccessary. The gamblers betted on the Forbidden Room on the back-burner, and now they want to spend our hard-earned gold to rectify their mistake? Sorry, but our gold should be saved for better gambles."

    Professor Tim Bentley quickly asserted...

    "The lack of a good time in the Mission will slow the Forbidden Room profit even more, since it won't use the game".

    The Monopoly guy was in shock and spoke harshly!

    "And a sumowrestler that forces people to expend money in a rushed saloon courthouse and a Mission is ludicrous. The saloon courthouse loses its worth the minute the Forbidden Room is won, and will not be the profit bonanza we are hoping for."

    "::sigh::... I couldn't agree more, DZ card designer. This whole gamble has been an embarrassment to all in the casino. I can only hope we handle our problems a little more sanely in the future."

    Blackheart commented...

    "The misguided corrupzione of the cards spoke. Next time gamble more vigorously."

    Mayor Provolution woke up, dazed from drinking...

    "Indeed misguided" he began to laugh out loud "But it has been fun, what about regambling the Forbidden Room a very very last time for moi only, it is good for the casino to have so many visitors over time..."

    Gambling Commissioner MOTH said in an official tone...

    "A confirmation bet has been opened on this."

    Provolution replied

    "I gambled, yes I did, and I liked that NO rigging of cards, a more approriate override option from the Commission, as my throwing my cards with a Tarot Card of the Knight of Death attached to it (with regards to Monopoly guys legal understanding of my potential arbitrary deadly handling of cheaters in the game as a Legal Rider, Provolution thought more of his potential killing as a Tarot Card of Death added to the game)"
     
  2. Provolution

    Provolution Sage of Quatronia

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2004
    Messages:
    10,102
    Location:
    London
    Casino Bankier finally saw the line of tired gamblers, gambling in the Forbidden Room for weeks, and said in a worn out voice...

    "Keep in mind that the last orgie caused another bet to surface, so I don't want to hear it."

    Uncle Sam said in response...

    "Crapper. Way was our original choice. Now we have it, so we can finally use it. And I'm the major league player here... for claritys sake, I, Uncle Sam, had a bet for Crapper. I am one of the whatever number it is right now people who did so."

    The Casino Banker cordially responded...

    "Can a croupier have the cards revealed to all? For some reason, I can't remember how to flag the option."

    Mr Manhole then said

    "Croupiers cant do that IIRC, you would have to create a new bet"

    McDuck then said

    "Joker"

    Maypr Provolution then replied, rushed and revived

    "I want to shift my bets from Way to Joker. Way will take forever to get the payout from the Bankier. We need the Main Pot sooner than later, and Joker seems to get a decent lump sum payout".

    The envious man then said

    "Joker too! It will take 14 days to complete the payout of the Main Pot. It is better placed than the Oddball and most Eastern cards will not be corrupted too much. Fast and efficient."

    Lawyer Snipelfritz then argued flamboyantly

    "Yes Joker. the eastern cards are far to corrupt, and we need the Main Pot as soon as possible. Well, in a good place as well."
    *snipel goes off to smuggle contraband and embezzle casino funds*"

    Epicrisis was nowhere to be seen, he had been thrown out of the casino for threee days by the croupiers for swearing too loud of his bad luck in cards. According to rumors, he had said that he threw his cards on the basis that there is no need to bet this. He said won this fairly a while ago, and there is absolutely no need for a bet and that they only bet that should be held is what should happen to whoever is accountable for this horrific Mission wandering.

    Epicrisis had also said

    "This was ordered to be paid out for Oddball 10 days ago, and it should've been. It wasn't, not because of the Corrupzione, but because the greed was ignored. I am ordering it to be paid out today, on the basis of the Corrupzione in the last bet, and I refuse to recognize this one. Too Mission-like if you think it should be in Joker. Maybe you should've betted for it when you had the chance, instead of cheating to get another."

    and then he had said

    "And were the session not over I would finger all the pockets of the people who bottled this up with court cases so fast. Nice timing."

    Epiciris then said

    "Problem is many people choose Oddball, because they were banking on the fact that we won't enjoy any harlot rooms like me. That throws the other bet out the window."

    Mayor Cyc then said

    "Yer gonna get thrown out of the Casino this time fer sure, Epicrisis"

    Professor tim Bentley then logically asserted in his probability theory studies...

    "I'll do my calculations soon, but here's something to think about. How is Crapper significantly better than Home other than in Casablanca? Pieces and Cuties having 9% corrupzione instead of 20%? I guess the Regent Cards, Kings and Queens, is the other significant way Crapper is better, other than Crapper itself, of course."

    Then the professor said

    "I decided to do more extensive analysis than is necessary, so I included Home, Crapper, Yoker, Oddball, and the two probably bad choices Cue Ball and Pieces" Tim Bentley then produced a range of numbers from the University of Zojoji. "

    He then said

    "I have decided to bet for Home."

    Provolution then said in a loud voice

    "BET JOKER, YOU SEE THE NUMBERS HERE PEOPLE, THINK"

    ODDBALL is only 7 card values away from the first card in the deck, and Way is a smoldering smoking Spade 2 Card with burnt Harlot stockings and chocolate to the service people as tip.

    Joker has both ideal payout, and that gold difference to Oddball will increase as the Southern pot is repaid. Are people blind not seeing this ?
    Anyone want to change their bets to JOKER, do it now."

    The old maverick then said

    "Ill cast my bet for JOKER, eventhough it has a questonable name. With the profit numbers listed here, we should ignore the content of the card's name and pay more attention to the profit numbers."

    Provolution then said, aggravated

    "Now, this is the perfect example why I do not send private bets.
    Way has Spade 2, will be pretty close to our present edge of the table, and has no Mission or saloon court to counter 75 - 80 % corrupzione. It will take forever to pay this out.
    Way has now won the game, and I am very curious to know who bet on what. This is exemplary for why I consider the Kagemusha gamblers more like gentleman players, and not as small sneaky loungesitters going to their speakeasy games with their secret bets. The gaming tables and games work in principle more as a peer game than direct House game".

    The new excessive man then said

    "I bet on Joker."

    Mayor Provolution then said, once again with a sharp voice

    "I really want to this the results from this bet to bee seen and throw your cards, those that wanted the Sumowrestler INTO the Forbidden Room with Way certainly has a weird way to think. But again, you gamblers got a Lunar Eclipse and another Supreme Saloon court Party coming up. "

    Gambling Commissioner MOTH then stated in an official tone

    "I've never seen a croupier comment on it, but I believe that an existing bet cannot be seen at all. I would also oppose changing this to throwing the cards and see the cards unless everyone that bet agreed to change it. Where it is private I would not be surprised if a black bird with fiery eyes would fly in and leave with a card , and I would defend that birds right to have its card private in its beak.
    As far as people who bet for both Way and the Sumowrestler, I would expect than many may have bet this way as that was how the original bets were cast. note: I am specifically not posting how I gambled in either of these bets."

    The man without a name then said...

    "I gambled for Way/Crapper. We can rush a saloon court and a fun run to the Mission before we start paying out the Main Pot. I do believe that since this wasn't a public bet, the bankier should have started again, but it is too late now. Perhaps there should have been a contingency with the first bet, but hindsight has odds of 1:1."

    Then Mayor Provolution then saw the light in this gambling chaos, he could see every gambler in the room were prepared t draw their revolvers, rifles, daggers, sabers and anything they had in tehir arsenal. Asanos Katana was readied, when Mayor Provolution came up with a new rule to solve the game.

    "ok you guys convinced me, I need to resend the Harlots paperwork with only TWO options.
    One would be a full package with Mistress Niagara-san on the Oily Spring-bed, and the other one would be to redeliver Mistress Casablanca back, and stabilize the table. I know that the Harlots offered us the big Zulu lady Tonawonda, also called "Ton of Wonder" in Japanatican, in a peaceful setting, and that is an option I would like to see."

    Mayor Cyc smiled from ear to ear

    "Crapper, crapper, crapper
    I bet on the Forbidden Room to be paid out for crapper , PLUS I bet to hurry the Forbidden Room with the Yakuza Tojomoto.".

    Professor Tim bentley thn deduced

    If we rush to the Mission and the saloon court in Crapper, I think it might be able to profit more than one beer per hour in about 13 hours. And maybe it could profit 3 beers per hour in 24 hours. So I think the Forbidden Room could be paid there in less than 80 hours. So if you're beting for Crapper, you'd better vote to rush the Forbidden Room with the Yakuza Tojomoto. If you bet for paying an Sumowrestler or rushing to a regatta gamble , you should not bet for Crapper unless you want to be more than halfway through your adult life before getting the final prize."

    Provolution then said calmly and collected

    "Tim Bentley ,It cannot be rushed, it is like a Forbidden Room, and the same people that bet Way, some of them bet on the Sumowrestler, no consistency of thought."

    Professor Tim Bentley had a moment of truth, realizing Kagemusha gambling culture....

    "I'll change my bet from Home to joker, since I'm alone in supporting Home. Maybe the faster completion with Joker will have a greater effect than I realize."

    Provolution stated

    "We are now up to 8 bets for JOKER, one more bet and it is a tie with Way and Crapper."

    The Monopoly Guy reflected cooly, and looked liked he had stomach problems about all this talk about the Crapper in the Forbidden Room...

    "Ugh. This entire Forbidden Room gamble has left a bad taste in my mouth. I'll say JOKER, just because Oddball is already providing another payout in a different cardgame (throwing the apple into the head is 4 hours away). JOKER also makes more sense than Crapper, I'm not sure why we didn't notice that before. Regardless of where we finally pay it out, I just hope this really is the final bet, so we can get it behind us and move on."

    Provolution then aid in a joking manner...

    "Monopoly guy, maybe someone wants to rebet it, it may be that the orgie objectives in the Harlots room may be rebet, so the Forbidden Room may be rebet as well Now that we are even on the bet Way-JOKER, 9-9 , I suggest a rebet. if noone breaks the tie with the last vote, and then Provolution fell on the floor and laughed and laughed, knowing his casino could hold the gamblers in the Forbidden Room for weeks more if he wanted to, and earn the Casino good profits from the sale of beverage and various services"
     
  3. Provolution

    Provolution Sage of Quatronia

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2004
    Messages:
    10,102
    Location:
    London
    Mayor Cyc then said, stressed, now that he felt the victory was so close...
    He then realized that the Bankier just had swtiched rules so no one could see each others cards up front...

    "How do you see a 9-9 tie? By the way I change my bet from other JOKER to Way."

    Provolution replied

    "Well, since JOKER is an open value , I can technically transfer one bet from Crapper to JOKER, since the Yakuza boss Tojomoto is not going there, I have no other choice."

    Provolution continued

    "Actually, this bet is flawed, since you cannot have JOKER as option with your own open value in, then you discriminate the gamblers that has to see the cards, since these become public, where Way and Oddball does not. In fact, this major weakness of the bet makes some cards visible and some cards not , which makes this bet a hybrid, and in the grey area of the Constituzione on how to handle bets. I will question the valididy of this bet and ask for a saloon review over a few beers on the nature of this bet. I suggest a rebet of this obviously flawed bet. This time excluding Oddball, which has broad support for throwing falling apples at the loser."

    Mayor Cyc then said

    "Now you want a Full saloon court setup, such as the one you accuse these stupid Japanaticans of having."

    Provolution politely replied

    "I mean business, this bet is invalid, and must be rebet or at least brought into a saloon review before it can be implemented as a legally binding bet for a payout. My Kagemusha bet is not even legally binding, as we have no laws on servicepeople movements in orgies. I made the various setups to be nice and streetsmart, but they are still not legally binding"

    The dancer now woke up from the trance of his dance

    "Is there any point in betting in this one? After betting in the womans article bet I'm leery...
    I can't wait to see how the Forbidden Room didn't pay out for Oddball"

    Gambling Commissioner MOTH said

    "No, there is no point in betting on this one. This was for the last gamble.
    Could a Croupier please close all bets?"

    The dancer, now doing a slow motion mambo alone on the podium muttered...

    "Well, so much for getting bets out that will actually close before the gambling session. It just gets more laughable with every game I follow while I am dancing at this podium".

    The dancer then moved over to bellydancing and the casino party continued...
     
  4. Provolution

    Provolution Sage of Quatronia

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2004
    Messages:
    10,102
    Location:
    London
    The big day had arrived in the Saloon Court, and Gambling Commissioner realized that the deck of cards had changed so many times, that he siimply had to declare a winner in the highly highly complex Forbidden Room game.

    MOTH opened

    "There have been no conclusive winning bets placed in the Forbidden Room that have not been upset by changing game circumstances. This is why we have decided to regamble this on the Constituzione Roulette, the only game we really understand, as we had to design and print new Forbidden Room cards in the middle of the game."

    He then informed the surviving gamblers....

    "This is a simple black, Red and Green bet that will run for 48 cycles around. As 2 previous bets indicated Crapper, for this poll I will require a total of 13 gamblers and 55% red bets to overturn this win. If "red" wins then there will be another bet (probably 24 or 36 cycles) to determine the new winner.I forgot to place a time limit when setting up the bet. It will run for 48 cycles as 24 is not enough time to get a gamble. I will tell the findings of the Roulette ball at the end of 48 cycles."

    Mayor Provolution gave up all hope when he said...

    I voted black, even though Crapper is a pretty dumb winner now that people wanted the Sumowrestler to pop by, especially the ones betting for a end to bar brawls, however, I managed to keep the orgie alive long enough to justify Crappers placement in the Forbidden Room and to add enough bartenders to fill yer up and shake the tables to make Crapper more central, and finally get the Sumowrestler to beat someone up to open for new bets on other Rooms . So consider me a teamplayer, I was dealt very poor cards, but made the best out of it And to you Gambling Commissioner MOTH, the people gave you poor playing cards, and you did an excellent job out of it, salutes to you for great leadership and great cooperation"

    The new excessive man said, with a tired voice of resignation....

    "I bet black because the damn thing needs to be paid out to someone in the casino, asap."

    The dancer was shaking the limbs delicately when he said

    "Geez, go on a little seduction thinking the Forbidden Room was in Oddball and this is the first bet I see."

    The man without a name then told the Dancer

    "Be glad you have been on seduction, because it did get a bit messy at times, especially with the foreign language card dealer fainting midgame".
    The dancer then sadly answered back...

    "I don't blame him for fainting. The whole lot of us (including mere casino guests) should join together in flushing this disgrace, which is laughingly called a game of Constituzione, down the crapper."
    Mayor Cyc then laughed triumphantly

    "I believe the people voiced their opinion on flushing this game out when they bet on McDuck in the other game of voter, Dancer."

    The Dancer then asked, still dancing at the podium

    "Then why are we still playing?"

    Blackheart then said with a glee

    "I bet on green, too many Forbidden Room bets to control."

    Mayor Provolution laughed

    "No I love them. It has really earnt the name Forbidden Room, since it is forbidden to finally win the damn game," and he collapsed on his chair of cheer laughter spasms and rolled around in childish joy....

    The criminal then said

    "I too am playng green, for the 2nd time on an Forbidden Room bet. I'm all beyond the point of being Ape Drunk, let alone caring anymore. Oh, the apathy. I rely on the Croupier handbook too much. Don't want to end up like a certain stoner."

    The dancer then shouted from the podium, realizing that this was the very last chance of seeing his beloved kittens at home win the bet..

    "C'mon all you green-betters. Crapper fans, too. Switch your bets now. Undo the terrible injustice that was recently done to Oddball! Where's that picture with the kitty?"

    Epicrisis yelled out loud

    "Why, I can do far better than one measly cat! I tried to find a fun Zulu as Gumby, but couldn't. This should still be enough. There isn't a limit on ego size, is there? Because I'd like if the cat and giant joint would show up too..."

    Consigliere Snipelfritz, the Corrupzione Lawyer said

    "Amen, Yay, Epicrisis and his strange bet arguments are back , but I can only see the third kitten"

    Epicrisis answered

    "The first two don't seem to cuddle for some reason. Just bring them into the whiskas bar"

    The gambling Commissioner then replaced the Dancer on the Podium, now announcing the final final final final and absolutely terminal and absolute winner of the experimental cardgame Forbidden Room.

    "A bit more than 48 hours, but I only got home recently.
    I hearby declare these results final:
    Black: 13 votes
    Red: 4 votes
    Green: 3 votes
    We will continue to pay out for the Forbidden Room for Crapper".

    The maverick then stated, fimrly and veeeeery tired

    The Monopoly Guy, extremely tired of this game, he threw up the Top hat into the air, landing on the Chandelier, and threw away his monocle too...

    "C'mon people, make up your minds on where to put this thing Sweet crackers, can we just build this thing!? Pleeeeease?!"

    Then Epicrisis had finally given up the MArathon-like Forbidden Room game and concluded, almost in a fatalist yet content manner....

    "It took a while, since I was BOUNCED, but the egos are fixed. Now you can all see what you missed out on. Oh well. More Sunburn beer for me."
     
  5. Nobody

    Nobody Gangster

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2001
    Messages:
    5,446
    Location:
    Wellington New Zealand
    Another man without another name came strolling into Constituzione Casino; he looked around at all the gambling people. He thinks for a moment about the social impact of placing a facility like this in a low socioeconomic area. Then he decided ‘oh stuff it this places looks like fun, at least more fun than my failed enterprise the Bada Bing club. and i could sure go for a game of snap’ Still sore from the nasty infection he caught on the trip to the new world, (Damn German hookers) he slowly sits down at the nearest snap table and beings to deal out the cards “ok Wainui rules, all aces and no spades, hearts are wild bottom up and a twist of turkey. If ya caught plucking my goose (cheating) I’ll slap ya back to fanitaku so fast your think you got a wild dose of the Berlin herpes, ya here?”
    With that he deals out the cards between himself and his ombrays, soon there placing the cards one on top of each other the air is tense, the room is silent except for Provolution who is jabbering on about some new doctrine that will change the world. But no one is really listening to Provo just then Nobody notices Provolutions hand is looking a little edgy and as he places his queen down on top of the last queen, hands start a flying all over the room people are yelling snap, as the dust settles and things start to calm down everyone looks at the table and notices Nobody’s hand is sitting firmly on top of the two queens.
     

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