LSOE 2-Joao: Now Featuring Narwhals!

[EMT]

Hello and welcome back roughly 2 hours after I beat LSOE 1-Hatshepsut!

Chapters:
Chapter 1: Narwhals and a Disproportionate Gender Ratio
Chapter 2: Several More Years Later and Caesar Salad in a Dress
Chapter 3: Catapult overkill for Nice!
Chapter 4: French Wine, French Cheese, and French Mops Made From French Hair
Chapter 5: Love, War, and Colonization
Chapter 6: For Narwhals, Land, and the Emperor!
Chapter 7: You want me to trek across the desert to where?!??!
Chapter 8: Oh my god, they killed Civilization! You Bastards!
Chapter 9: 2 for 1, South America and Africa, 2 for 1 Sale!
Chapter 10: Backstabed, you Snitching Fritz!


Here are our settings:



In this game I'm going to be playing as Joao II of Portugal.


Joao is Expansive and Imperialistic. Expansive gives us +2 health per city, 25% faster production of a worker, and double production speed of a harbor and granary. Considering that Joao's unique building is a customs house, that goes nicely. A fast granary goes ever nicer with Imperialistic, which gives us 50% faster production of a settler, and 100% great general emergence. Meaning, we'll have a settler out faster than anybody else, and we'll get Great Generals out faster then anybody as well. Considering how last game consisted of racing the AI to city locations and lots of warring, maybe we should have played as Joao of Egypt . Now, I have no clue as to who we might face in this map. For all we know, Carthage, Mali, SPAIN, and France are in this game. If so, mommy, hold me! We might have the nearest neighbor be Persia and Zulu! I seriously don't know. Hopefully, we won't see Isabella. Joao starts with mining and fishing, meaning we can go straight for a work boat if we like, or something else should we see the need to. At this point, I'm thinking WORK BOAT. Anyway, here are some pics showing what I outlined above.



And of course, the start. We have 2 fishes and some wines. We'll have to scout a bit before I settler. Iberia, if I recall, has some very 'specific' spots unless you want only 3 cramped cities.


Now, for the save. Please, play along, but post it in spoiler tags. I don't care if you play at warlord or at deity, the only thing is, the AI will start with what the Monarch AI normally starts with(Archery), but apart from that, they have no greater advantage over you in tech or anything like that. You can pick your difficulty, your speed, everything. So, here it is, in WBSave format. Do try it out. I give you no promises, on whether it'll be a romp or hell, but you can sure try if you like. No warrior rushes though. Just place it in the Saves/Worldbuilder or Publicmaps folder. I hope you enjoy watching me either lay the smackdown or suffering in the corner!

 

[Lyoncet]

Cool cool! I may have to play this one through, assuming I have time (very unlikely).

Regardless, let the exploits of the hatted ones continue!

 

[EMT]

This hatted one is going to have a much more hellish time than Hatshepsut, I have to say. I played until 2800 BC, where I decided to break off and make an important choice I don't feel qualified to make.

Chapter 1: Narwhals and a Disproportionate Gender Ratio

So, first off, let me show you where Lisbon got relocated to. It'll make a poorer GP farm, but I payed attention to Iberia in my last game, so I know where I'll have to settle to get good city sites. Sadly, There's a mountain in one of the best locations, so I have to settle on SILVER. OH GOD THE HORRIBLENESS. IT HURTS TO EVEN THINK ABOUT IT. But before I go on, let me show you Lisbon. It has Fish, Clams, Cows on a grassland hill, silver, and we soon learn, horses. This be a good early city.

Spoiler :

But before I go on, let me spin you a yarn about not so ol' Joao. He had been born into the luxurious life of a substinance farmer, the son of a man who spent his days toiling to fish enough food to feed his family. Luckily for him, the area had been plentiful with fish. His father was an elder amongst the 15 or so people that lived in the area. Joao lived his life joyously, until the day his father got harpooned by a Narwhal. They say it was faith, for Narwhals are not ever even found in Iceland, let alone sunny Portugal. But somehow, someway, a narwal ended up all the way in Portugal. Joao's father had been fishing when he saw the great beast rush at him, a jet of water trailing it. He yelled in horror as the music got louder and faster, and it is said that the narwhal jumped out of the water and stabbed Joao's father through the head and that it swam all the way back to Svalbard to boast to it's narwhal friends.


This is a narwhal. You can imagine how fun it must be to get poked with that thing. Anyway, Joao fell apart and spent the next few years of his life staring at the ocean, waiting for the narwhals to get him too. But they never came. Eventually, after a dispute between the elders, they chose to make him leader, simply because they could never cooperate. Joao, it is said, woke, at this very moment. He migrated northwards, looking for tools to hunt narwhal. Sadly for him, he isn't in Svalbard, so he has to make do with Silver and more fish. There, he founds the grand city of Lisboa!

Within a few years, a pudgy man with multiple chins comes to meet Joao. Joao offers him his hat just because he wants to see what the funny man would look like with a hat on top of all that hair.

Spoiler :

Several hundred more years pass, when Joao meets another man. His name was Hannibal. He looked strong and fearless, yet he could not see Joao that well himself. He gazed around awkwardly as Joao yelled from one side of the Mediterranean while Hannibal hollered back.

Spoiler :

Then another man came to Joao, and upon hearing his name, he burst out laughing. The man looked angrily at Joao, but Joao excused himself, and went back to chuckling about being so great the vegetables give him titles.

Spoiler :

More men continued to appear, and Joao grew weary. WHERE WERE ALL THE WOMEN!!! He was a man that enjoyed company, so he whisked away Frederick the German, despite him showing QUITE some interest in extending the conversation.

Spoiler :

At last! He had found a lovely.......oh, wait. Joao politely told the squat young lady that she needed to shave her face, while he/she looked on with indignation. "Oh, and you're wearing the wrong hat! Where's the serpent?", it was said that Joao asked.

Spoiler :

Soon, Joao learned the secrets of the strange animals that fled whenever he approached them. They where called horses, and apparently, where used to fulfill manual labor. Less work, more play. Joao like.

Spoiler :

ANOTHER man showed up, this one quite a bit cocky, boasting about how his greatness as the man who founded civilization. All he founded was a load of white rocks as far as Joao cared.

Spoiler :

And here is where I stopped. To best 'optomise' Iberia, I'll have to settle on the silver. I know, it hurt me a little too. . Comment on any advice you have for me.

My builds where work boat->work boat->settler
My tech path was Agr->AH->BW

I need to settle a city. Any advice? I'm thinking block off Louis NOU.

 

[lymond]

No Vassal States? Does that mean no colonies? One of Joao's strengths...

 

[Lyoncet]

With some decent planning, overseas colonies are completely manageable without turning them over to AIs. I'll just leave it at that for now.

 

[Zexx]

Oh my goodness this is a huge map.
I quit after wrecking Louis, as I started realizing the scope of it all.

 

[Silu]

No Vassal States? Does that mean no colonies? One of Joao's strengths...

No Vassal States means no colonies, but there's no colony maintenance either. So really it's hard cheese with Portugal as overseas cities will simply cost as much as cities on your own landmass I guess that was the "decent planning" Lyoncet mentioned, pick the right custom settings

 

[TheMeInTeam]

No Vassal States? Does that mean no colonies? One of Joao's strengths...

Colonies aren't anybody's strength. Colonies are an option for the AI to resolve its stupidity slightly and to break vassal mechanics beyond even the warlords levels.

A bit more concerning is the huge map w/ normal game speed .

 

[EMT]

Thank you for all the feedback! That's as much feedback as LSOE Hatshepsut combined! Truth be told, I only chose huge to make adding 18 civs faster. I forgot about tech rate. Erm...., anyway, about colonies. These are my goals, outlined in Joao green.

1. Joao WILL get Brazil, no question.
2. Joao WILL get Australia, no question, if possible, Papua as well
3. Joao WILL kill any backward New World civs to further his uses.

I'm going to need State Property ASAP with these goals in mind. The question is, do I let the French live? That's the big WHAT? question. I could go on a rampage that leaves me master of everything as far as Poland and Croatia, possibly further. Or I could spend that time building up a huge stack to kill all the New World civs. I'm thinking, kill Louis, Caesar, and if possible, Hannibal. I want to have a clean Africa so that I can take Mozambique and Angola. So, do I have any dissenters regarding where I want to settle? I'm thinking, the pink dot.

 

[Stewie0416]

Why don't you move the White city 1W, so then you can move the Red city 1SW on that other plains hill so you don't have to waste the silver. And you can get another city with those clams.

 

[EMT]

Aargh, I forgot to look at what I planned last game.


I should have settled Lisbon in place Now what to do.....only thing to do is to do this. Thanks Stewie, for pointing that out. Although I don't know what hurts more, losing the clams, or the silver. Long term, I think the clams.

 

[Fleme]

Not an optimal dotmap there. Move the red dot 2n1e just north of the clams, free up the silver - it'll make for an ok early production/commerce city. Divide the white dot into two cities. One between the plains sheep and the crab, the other one on the forest wine south of Lisbon. Pink dot 1N, after you've taken out Louis or 1W if you want it to be useful before taking out Louis.

5 cities beat 4.

 

[EMT]

Well, here goes, this next section was BIG. I played through most of the BCs, until 275 BC infact. The Romans are dead, which is a shame(not really). Sadly, the French are still as annoying as ever. Portugal needs moar catapult!

Chapter 2: Several More Years Later and Caesar Salad in a Dress

We start the round by founding the city of Oporto. Someone wanted to name the city Basque, and another wanted Navarre. Yet another person petitioned for Aquitaine. All of these dissenters are now in Svalbard. Joao says Oporto it is, and what he says goes.

Spoiler :

We start 2 warriors in Lisbon to defend the two cities, while Oporto starts on a Work Boat. Something tells me that this will be an industrial city, and it's not the 5 hills that are telling me this. We also get Bronze Working, to which Joao throws a celebration. He can now harpoon narwhals! Sadly for him, he hasn't seen one in over 1000 years. For now, he decides to take out his anger in the form of slaving his population to his every command. He demonstrates this by whipping a monument in Oporto to his glory.

Spoiler :

Another man shows up, this one having quite a boasting title. He receives the same treatment as Pericles, while Joao decides to take a look at more important matters. Such as how to kill the Frenchman.

Spoiler :

Joao's wisemen eventually report to him that they have learned the ways of road-laying, and it's uses. Roads are immediately built connecting Oporto to Lisbon, to hasten the time of travel it takes to reinforce Oporto.

Spoiler :

Eventually, Joao's generals approach him and demand that he capture the horses near Paris. Joao politely points south of Lisboa where he has been preparing stables to train horses, but his generals insist on capturing French horses. With a shrug, Joao shoos them off as he begins to prepare the first chariots.

Spoiler :

"Is this a man or a woman?", Joao whispered to his advisors as Suryavyaman looked intently at him. "We honestly do not know sir. What about bringing in a man and a woman, and have him choose which one he wishes to spend the night with?" Joao agrees, and 2 peasants are brought in. He/She picked the man, so that settled it for Joao. Suryavyawahahwagasa was a woman. A woman he wouldn't ever come near with a 100-foot pole if he could help it.

Spoiler :

More years pass, and the French built a mine in a rather strange location. Joao asked his agents to investigate, and they reported that it was full of a strange substance. With a nod, his scientists begin to work on discovering what the metal was. Eventually, they report it to be iron, and that it is an even more deadly metal than Bronze. Joao asked what bronze was, and the only reply he could get was that it was whatever the Carthaginians had in a mine next to Carthage.

Spoiler :

More years pass as Joao slowly begins to assemble a fighting force. Eventually, Joao's men learn the secrets of navigating a boat along the coast. While he does not see immediate benefits, he decides to settle a city along the Mediterranean to benefit from coastal trade.

Spoiler :

Joao had begun to grow weary. All that seemed to occur in his empire was the slow pace of life as fish continued to be fished, silver continued to bring great trade, and horses continued to be trained as weapons of war. His wise men approached him with the reports of having discovered the secrets of carving stone and marble. Joao looked dully and asked, "Why? Do you see stone ANYWHERE within the next 100 miles of my empire?" "Well, sir, we where thinking that you could use masonry to build a great monument to your honor. Perhaps a lighthouse? That would bring much trade and fame to Lisboa!"

Spoiler :

Soon Joao met another man, and at this point, he was wondering if women had ever existed. There where peasants, of course, but he considered himself too great to associate in relations with any of them. This man seemed serious, and did not take too kindly to Joao's dull greeting. Joao decided to continue his search for women.

Spoiler :

The idea of storing food in clay containers soon had become an ordinary thing, but Joao was BORED. No narwhal had been spotted for over 2000 years, the Great Lighthouse had been completed elsewhere, ruining his prestige amongst others, and NOTHING EXCITING HAD HAPPENED IN CENTURIES. Eventually, someone discovered the secrets of writing. This excited Joao, and he chartered a center of study in Lisboa for the world to marvel at. Someday, he hoped to extend the library of Lisboa to include the works of the world, but for now, he was content to author a book on the secrets of navigation, entitled, "Carracks, the New World, and You."

Spoiler :

At one point, the French demanded half of Joao's silver deposits as tribute, but Joao rejected his demand, a military force ready to defend Oporto against anything he could muster. No war was declared though, and Louis went back to fluffing his hair. Eventually, Judaism spread to Lisboa from afar, but he had no interest in the religion despite most of the population being devote Jews. He decided to accept Judaism as the official religion of the state as long as his book became the holy scripture of the religion. Everybody being illiterate, they agreed.

Spoiler :

A minor famine broke out in Oporto, but it was nothing to severe and the state bought the food necessary to replenish the population. Eventually, Joao met Suryaavahahasda's neighbor, Asoka. He was a peaceful man, yet he looked rather weak. Ignorant of the ways of the Orient, Joao assumed Surayabagsga was the man in the relationship, simply because they seemed to dress similar and both believed in the same philosophy.

Spoiler :

Joao had fallen into depression. There was nothing to bring joy to his life anymore. There was no war, sparse trade, and the pompous Frenchman remained alive. He missed his father, and eventually he decided to settle the rest of his original homeland in the name of Portugal.

Spoiler :

Eventually, a way to translate the languages of all other civilizations was discovered, and texts from other nations where translated. In this way, the knowledge of the hunt, and the belief in multiple gods where shown to the people. Joao didn't understand how a monotheistic Jewish population could accept polytheism, but he payed no mind. Eventually, he decided to establish a structural doctrine on Judaism commanded by priests. No sooner did he establish a priestly order, than a man from the south of Africa appeared. Horrible visions of death, destruction, and a naked woman with a serpent on her hat running around the streets killing, maiming, raping, and stealing flashed before his eyes. Disgusted, he eyed the suprised man, expecting him to attack. The man however, left peacefully, and Joao was at peace, for now.

Spoiler :

With a feeling of nausea, he contacted the Zulu man again and requested a trade. Surplus fish for the gems of Southern Africa, to which the man agreed, and then departed.

Spoiler :

Eventually, an idea occurred to Joao. He agreed to free travel between France and Portugal, and scouted Paris with his war chariots. It was incredibly well-defended, full of axemen, spearmen, archers, and swordsmen. Sadly, Joao decided to turn his attention elsewhere.

Spoiler :

A minor lift to Joao's mood occured when he discovered the secrets of Monarchy. He declared himself king over all of Portugal, and declared it his holy right in the name of Judaism to become the leader of the Portuguese.

Spoiler :

Shortly after titling himself King of the Portuguese, he shifted all his troops eastwards towards the small village of Nice. There, he assembled his troops, until he declared to Caesar that he had come to kill him, or make him wear a dress and parade him around all the leaders to mock him. What a nice way to introduce yourself.

Spoiler :

Rome was guarded by 1 axeman and 1 archer, so Joao expected an easy fight. The Roman fought valiantly, but his efforts failed, despite heavy losses on Joao's part. Rome was no more, now it was just a province of Portugal.

Spoiler :

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here is where I stopped. I should have beelined the GLH, but I didn't pay all that much attention. I am in a good position though. Not counting Monarchy, my cities can reach a happy cap of 7, so I'll have more productive cities than anybody else. I've built a galley to score me Morocco before Hannibal gets a chance, and from there I plan to expand along southwards. JC was very backwards, so it was easy to kill him. I plan on killing Louis with catapults, converting to Hinduism, and leaving my borders there. I haven't checked if there are any English, but if there isn't, I'll aim to annex Britain as well. I think Louis might have been settling there, though, because he has 4 cities. Paris, Brittany, and possibly the Netherlands/England. My bet is also that Ragnar is in the north. Where else could Judaism have come from?

Regardless, I feel like an easy taking of Italy makes up for my slop-up in not getting GLH. I was a bit slow to get chariots too, and I grew worried because Louis's power stayed constant with mine. Once I get catapults though, he's toast.

 

[Lyoncet]

Eventually, Joao's generals approach him and demand that he capture the horses near Paris. Joao politely points south of Lisboa where he has been preparing stables to train horses, but his generals insist on capturing French horses. With a shrug, Joao shoos them off as he begins to prepare the first chariots.

 

[EMT]

Well, I take Paris, and I'm in the process of killing Louis entirely. Best of all, most of his cities are actually good!

Chapter 3: Catapult overkill for Nice!

The round starts with Joao meeting another leader, this one, a bit more mild-mannered than the last few. Joao looked forward to having many peaceful years of coexistence with the Persians.

Spoiler :

Annoyingly, Louis decides to annoy us further and blocks our road link to Rome! Even more criminal, it's 1W of where it should be! Joao almost declared war upon seeing this, the people of Marseilles where not worthy of having their own city! Nice had hosted the Portuguese invasion of Rome, and he planned to repay them by razing Marseilles and founding Nice.

Spoiler :

Meanwhile, Joao chose to abandom Judaism. It was a dead-end religion with only 1 other adherent whose days where numbered(Louis). He may have just greatly offended Louis once more, but he could care less. The people of Nice needed liberation!

Spoiler :

Joao had not been twiddling his thumbs. He had assembled a new group of settlers to found a city in North Africa before Hannibal could reach it. Quite stupidly of him, Hannibal expanded across the Sahara to Mali, instead of by coast.

Spoiler :

Just on time, construction was finished. Swordsmen fell out of production as catapults where produced in every city that had the capacity to do so. Workers hurried to North Africa to supply elephants and it's byproducts to the Portuguese. All men shifted north towards Oporto. Sadly for Louis, he didn't realize this.

Spoiler :

Meanwhile, Joao was introduced firsthand to the problems of unhealthiness. Plague rampaged across Iberia and the population stagnated as he desperately went to Suryaakasdgajkasdga, offering sheep in exchange for rice, a rare commodity outside the orient.

Spoiler :

Meanwhile, a man by the name of Hypatia arose, promising to reveal the secrets of harbor-building to the Portuguese. Joao instead opted to expand the Library of Lisboa to an Academy as well, and an influx of notable progress began as he decided to manually discover harbor-building.

Spoiler :

Meanwhile, Hammurabi the Babylonian came by, asking for Joao to support a trade embargo against Shaka. He agreed, despite the loss of the gem trade. It could be easily supplemented with stronger garrisons in his cities.

Spoiler :

Several years pass as Joao begins to wonder about harbors. Having harbors could increase trade yields, and in turn, generate more wealth for him. As Joao thought these ideas over, he began to plan, until his plans came to fruition in the form of numbers. Asoka's numerals had spread to Portugal, and Joao decided to exchange the silver of Portugal at a fixed rate in coin. Soon Portugal generated more and more trade as other civilizations' traders traveled to make profits.

Spoiler :

Meanwhile, Joao's chariots scouted France, looking for it's fiercome army. It was stationed to the north of Paris, and it numbered almost as large as the Portuguese one. However, France had yet to discover catapults, so Joao held the advantage.

Spoiler :

While scouting, Joao's chariots report rumors about red-headed beer drinkers to the north. Reportedly, these where the Celts of Britain. Joao was exhilarated! A WOMAN! OF HIS STANDING! Joao assumed that just because she was a leader of a civilization, that she was a woman of class. Joao was soon proved wrong, Boudica turned out to be of a lower class that had stumbled into power leading her people against the Roman outposts in Britain("When the hell did Rome ever control Britain!!?!?!?", wonder Joao). He began to theorize that the reason he had so easily destroyed Caesar was because his army had been in the north facing down Boudica! It made him feel smarter knowing he had tactically exploited his enemy, but he soon faced a dilemma. She had founded Judaism, and expected him to return to Judaism. While she never directly demanded that he do so, the effects of him eventually opting for Hinduism where widespread.

Spoiler :

Joao regardless was desperate enough that he slept with Boudica. Several days later, warts appeared in his private areas. He cursed Boudica, and vowed to annihilate her for giving him such an affliction! He asked his wise men, and they reported that Dyes from the orient might offer a cure. They asked for samples to be brought to them, and Joao heartily agreed. He did not want warts in his 'personal space' for crying out loud! They hurt!

Spoiler :

While the Dye imports traveled through Ottoman lands, Joao grew impatient. He remembered noting that the French had Dye nearby, and he suddenly remembered why he had first met Boudica in the first place. His army was prepared. Full of confidence, he declared war on the French and razed Marseilles. Oh, it felt good. Very good. So good he almost about his warts until he started squirming in his chair.

Spoiler :

Meanwhile, a Japanese man seeking asylum had traveled all the way to Rome to escape the Tokugawa shogunate. He offered his services as a general to Portugal, and they agreed. For now, he was to remain in Rome. The path to Oporto was dangerous and full of Frenchmen!

Spoiler :

Joao had shifted his sights to mounted warfare with the outbreak of war, and soon his research paid off as he was able to mount his men on horseback and on the exotic elephant of North Africa! He ordered immediate training of War Elephants, expecting the French to have strong reinforcements heading to Paris.

Spoiler :

Meanwhile, paying for the army was taking it's toll on research, and Joao faced a decision. He began to sell the secrets of harbor-building to all that he trusted, and all that had a lot of spare coin. He obtained roughly 500 gold and the secrets of earth being a globe. Better yet, he could now harvest the French Dyes!

Spoiler :

Meanwhile, the French had foolishly aided Joao's men. He refused to declare peace until France was no more. Joao continued to heal his troops for another offensive towards Paris, knowing that the French would have a large garrison assembled.

Spoiler :

Meanwhile, Pericles offered to give Joao the secrets of coding his power into written law. Joao eagerly traded the secrets of harbor-building to the Greeks while he began to plan eventual houses of law throughout his empire.

Spoiler :

The defenses in Paris where decent, but not great. Definetly not good enough. Louis had teched all the way to ENGINEERING, yet he didn't field more than 2 crossbows and a single pikeman. Therefore, PARIS SHALL FALL>

Spoiler :

Then Joao decides to be pragmatic. If Suleiman does not have ocean access, then we can safely trade him compass, it's use as a barter chip already dead. Therefore, we trade him compass for metal casting, allowing Joao to start on Civil Service.

Spoiler :

Just how Joao had forseen, Paris had indeed fallen. At the cost of half the catapults he had built

Spoiler :

More importantly, Joao BARELY met the deadline set by his generals. We had captured the French horses that proved to be WORSE then the Portuguese horses! Regardless, the generals rewarded Joao for obtaining a new source of horse with 6 Horse Archer regiments to remind Louis why he doesn't mess with Nice!

Spoiler :

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NOTE: Nice the city, not nice as in pretty.

Okay, so I've played the round, and I'm reasonably satisfied. I've taken Paris, Louis has zero military left to speak of, and I've started building a few galleys, to upgrade to carracks once I hit optics. Let's see where we can colonize.....

The to do list includes kill Louis, then galley spam, prepare lots of workers/settlers/garrisons, then let the fleet sail for the New World! Opinions/comments always welcome. It gets lonely posting updates without comments.

 

[Stewie0416]

Wow , nice job with the war versus France. Use those HA to hit Lyons. Then start spamming HA and rush the remainder of France. If you want, you can use those remaining Catapults to get the cultural defenses down. Warning*

*Take this advice with a grain of salt, other than rushes I am PRETTY bad at early game warfare lol

 

[EMT]

Wow , nice job with the war versus France. Use those HA to hit Lyons. Then start spamming HA and rush the remainder of France. If you want, you can use those remaining Catapults to get the cultural defenses down. Warning*

*Take this advice with a grain of salt, other than rushes I am PRETTY bad at early game warfare lol

So am I, but that never stopped me before. Yeah, that was what I was thinking too, while my main stack kills the major French cities, the horsies can go and murder Lyons. I'll send a sword or 2 as well. Now it's just cleanup, really, apart from Louis mass-whipping archers. Thank god he has no longbows and no friends to possibly give him any

 

[DMOC]

Nice and hilarious game so far. (Sury and Boud)

I suggest you destroy Paris, then turn your attention to either the nearest land mass opponent or Boudica (overseas cities will net you more trade routes, a strength of your civ). Also, improve some of your tiles, I see that you are working a 2F tile and a 1F1H1C plain river tile.

 

[Lyoncet]

Meanwhile, a man by the name of Hypatia arose

No he didn't…

But what is this??? No mention of narwhals??? I demand justice for this transgression!

 

[EMT]

Don't worry, I have plans for Boudica, and from there Joao will spend the next few years harpooning narwhals off of Scotland.

Regarding more war, I think you're right. I'm dedicating one of my cities exclusively to building galleys though. Hurrah for upgrades! It'll make the eventual invasion fleet against Boudica. Let's pray it doesn't go the way of the Spanish Armada. Meanwhile, Frederick is right there and has no longbows yet. I think a quick waltz to Berlin is in order.