Mad Scientists: Call for Proposals

Bootstoots

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In his infinite wisdom, President Trump appoints a new director for the National Science Foundation who likes you so much that he'll arrange to get you $1 billion in grant funding to conduct any research you want. Further, the new director has a...flexible view regarding ethics. Your experiments need not be unethical in any way, but it's perfectly fine if they are.

The only restriction is that it must involve advancing human knowledge in some non-trivial way, and not just an excuse to torture people or a repeat of earlier experiments. For instance, the proposals "Effects of Thermal Extremes on the Jew" or "Surgical Conjoining of Roma Twins" by J. Mengele et al. would be rejected.

So, what are your research ideas?
 
I would be very interested in controlled environment testing for different raising methods and circumstances. The scale would be humongous and the acts unethical beyond reproach, but the results would be immensely useful for future psychological programs and theories.

A lot of what we know is guesswork or seeing what happens during and after abuse. Quantifying these effects is shoddy at best. A study of this scale would span several generations and require a sub-society existing unknown to the rest of humanity. It would never happen. But the results... they would be very interesting indeed.
 
A full on research experiment to substantiate and locate Trump's integrity.

But I suppose that wouldn't pass the litmus test...
 
”Anything you research can be used against you”

Hard to find something that cannot be abused
And I get more and more the impression that the “bad” guys are much better in applying many kinds of new knowledge, than the “good” guys.
 
I can't be the only one who's going to take this idea seriously. :(
 
I guess I cannot escape that easily my own shadow :sad:

But I also like adding that hurdle to increase the challenge to come up with sonething
Just need a night sleep to get the creative crunching to gear up and running :)
 
Oh, what the hell.

Inseminate a bunch of chimpanzees with human sperm, isolate the chimpanzee pack and see if the new hybrids grow up to create some kind of culture.

Actually this just gave me a good idea - humans with edited embryos. Use the FOXP2 genes from chimps and as many ancient hominids as DNA can be recovered from.
 
I would be very interested in controlled environment testing for different raising methods and circumstances. The scale would be humongous and the acts unethical beyond reproach, but the results would be immensely useful for future psychological programs and theories.

A lot of what we know is guesswork or seeing what happens during and after abuse. Quantifying these effects is shoddy at best. A study of this scale would span several generations and require a sub-society existing unknown to the rest of humanity. It would never happen. But the results... they would be very interesting indeed.

Yeah, that's a great idea! In general, without pesky things like "ethics" or "human rights", we'd be able to do a whole lot of experimental social science. Then social science could be put on much stronger foundations than it currently has.

A full on research experiment to substantiate and locate Trump's integrity.

But I suppose that wouldn't pass the litmus test...

I mean, it would be impossible to get Trump to submit to fMRI. If it weren't, though, it would be fun to see what the differences are between how he thinks and how normal people do.

”Anything you research can be used against you”

Hard to find something that cannot be abused
And I get more and more the impression that the “bad” guys are much better in applying many kinds of new knowledge, than the “good” guys.

I guess you can try to come up with things that can't be abused if you want, but that's tough and it takes some of the fun out of it.

Oh, what the hell.

Inseminate a bunch of chimpanzees with human sperm, isolate the chimpanzee pack and see if the new hybrids grow up to create some kind of culture.

Making humanzees is the main thing I was thinking of when I posted the thread! I was only thinking of creating them within human culture, though, not seeing if humanzees within a chimp troupe would develop their own more sophisticated culture. I like that idea a lot.

Echoing Senethro, I'd also like to recreate Neanderthals and Denisovans. We have their DNA, so we might be able to remove the DNA from a human zygote and replace it with Neanderthal/Densiovan DNA. I'd love to see whether or not a Neanderthal can develop the full linguistic and cultural capabilities we have, and if not, what the limitations are.

Actually this just gave me a good idea - humans with edited embryos. Use the FOXP2 genes from chimps and as many ancient hominids as DNA can be recovered from.

Yep, it would be very interesting to insert FOXP2 from chimps into human embryos. Likewise with every other genetic difference we have. We don't as yet really know how much of our speech capabilities and other traits really come from which genes.
 
I would like to hire a crew of persons in white lab coats to create a Neanderthal from recovered DNA and another crew of cigar smoking psychologists to study hominid cognitive evolution.
 
We should modify apes mental cognition abilities so that they can serve as indentured laborers. What could possibly go wrong?


 
Oh, what the hell.

Inseminate a bunch of chimpanzees with human sperm, isolate the chimpanzee pack and see if the new hybrids grow up to create some kind of culture.

We should modify apes mental cognition abilities so that they can serve as indentured laborers. What could possibly go wrong?


YOU MANIAAACS!
 
Ooooh, unethical show references within an explicitly unethical thread. Deep.

And we can't even have a babe thread anymore. The world is stupid.
 
I would like to hire a crew of persons in white lab coats to create a Neanderthal from recovered DNA and another crew of cigar smoking psychologists to study hominid cognitive evolution.
I don't like cigars.
 
How to make a person using the human genome project (all the human genomes) and Cherry pick the very best ones to make the “best” person possible.
 
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So, what are your research ideas?

Give me fifty human test subjects and carte blanche and I will prove beyond any possibility of doubt that "human nature" is near-infinitely malleable and that environmental influences are decisive in shaping life outcomes.
 
Give me fifty human test subjects and carte blanche and I will prove beyond any possibility of doubt that "human nature" is near-infinitely malleable and that environmental influences are decisive in shaping life outcomes.
Ambitious! I tend to think close to the opposite - that the environment might be decisive in shaping life outcomes to some extent, especially on the negative end (malnourished, abused, lead-exposed children rarely grow up to win a Nobel Prize). But to a great extent there really are profound genetic influences on our behavior, such that "human nature" is a meaningful construct.

I'd love to give you 50 people and have you prove me wrong though. I will say that's a pretty small sample size - are you sure you don't want more humans? There are a lot of humans these days - we can spare quite a few.
 
I think 50 is all I need to prove the point, maybe I'd request more over time.

Given that epigenetics is a thing, the whole implicit identification of genes with "nature" in the "nature/nurture" paradigm is obviously wrong.
 
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