Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall...

Discussion in 'Civ5 - General Discussions' started by trexeric, Jun 15, 2013.

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Who has the best beard of them all?

  1. Alert Ahmad

    8 vote(s)
    3.9%
  2. Aggressive Askia

    9 vote(s)
    4.3%
  3. Angry Attila

    8 vote(s)
    3.9%
  4. Awesome Ashurbanipal

    73 vote(s)
    35.3%
  5. Crazy Casimir

    22 vote(s)
    10.6%
  6. Dazzling Darius

    19 vote(s)
    9.2%
  7. Eccentric Enrico

    11 vote(s)
    5.3%
  8. Glorious Gustavus

    66 vote(s)
    31.9%
  9. Grumpy Genghis

    7 vote(s)
    3.4%
  10. Harsh Harald

    38 vote(s)
    18.4%
  11. Honorable Harun

    8 vote(s)
    3.9%
  12. Neat Nebuchadnezzar

    42 vote(s)
    20.3%
  13. Professional Pedro

    59 vote(s)
    28.5%
  14. Remarkable Ramesses

    10 vote(s)
    4.8%
  15. Scholarlike Sejong

    12 vote(s)
    5.8%
  16. Serious Selassie

    6 vote(s)
    2.9%
  17. Shaggy Shaka

    10 vote(s)
    4.8%
  18. Spectacular Suleiman

    34 vote(s)
    16.4%
  19. Wise William

    16 vote(s)
    7.7%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. trexeric

    trexeric (or backwards 'cirexert')

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    ...Who has the Best Beard of them All?
    Hey, everybody! It's trexeric here to give you the final installment of the Mr. Beard series, this time including every single leader with a beard that will be in BNW, or was in anything (G&K, DLC, or Vanilla) before that that has a beard. Please turn your attention to the shiny new poll up there, and pick your top THREE favorites. If you pick more than three, you will be frowned upon. If you pick less than three, well, I suppose it wouldn't be as bad as picking more than three, but, oh well. Just pick three okay? There are 19 contestants (a whole two more than last time) and each has a dazzling (some more dazzling than others) beard. So, see the poll for the names and look into the game to see pictures or find pictures around the site if you need to - or post the pictures to make everything easy for all of us. Anyway, VOTE!
     
  2. Guandao

    Guandao Rajah of Minyue and Langkasuka

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    Love Ashurbanipal's so I pick that, along with Gustav's (though its from the wrong king) and Pedro
     
  3. Yubnub

    Yubnub Chieftain

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    Hate Ashurbanipal's; looks like a Polish plait.
     
  4. Veras

    Veras Prince

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    Location:
    Brasília. Not the faction.
    Where's that image with all the bearded leaders? Updated, of course.
     
  5. Bfoxius

    Bfoxius Chieftain

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    Oregon
    First place goes to Pedro, Santa's alter ego. You can't hate on Santa or else he'll send his elves to murder you.

    A close second goes to Ashurbanipal, Kamehameha's nemesis.

    Nebby gets third, with his awesome beard of awesomeness.
     
  6. Veras

    Veras Prince

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    Brasília. Not the faction.
    And I suggest changing Eccentric Enrico for Elderly Enrico
     
  7. EvenStranger

    EvenStranger Warlord

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    Gustavus has a truly epic beard. Mad props :D
     
  8. trexeric

    trexeric (or backwards 'cirexert')

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    But he's so eccentric! Anyway, I don't think you can edit a poll.
    Anyway, my votes:
    1) Gustavus
    2) Ashurbanipal
    3) Nebuchadnezzar
     
  9. Pikachao

    Pikachao Warlord

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    man, 7:2 has to be the best beard to no beard ratio in any game ever. BNW is going to be awesome.
    I like Shaka's and Temujin's the best, less is more in my experience.
     
  10. kingchris20

    kingchris20 Wisdom Seeker

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    Harald, he's got the Bluetooth braids, that's gotta be worth a WIN! :)
     
  11. Blueboots

    Blueboots Chieftain

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    Gustavus sharpened his beard into murder mode. Beats all other beards, no debate.
     
  12. otaman1

    otaman1 Prince

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    I chose Ashurbanipal and Pedro. If Leopold was in the poll I would've picked him too. I like Gustav's blonde beard but I must've missed him when reading the poll
     
  13. Rob (R8XFT)

    Rob (R8XFT) Ancient Briton Super Moderator

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    1st: Ashurbanipal
    2nd: Pedro
    3rd: Gustavus

    Not a fan of beards in RL, though - possibly due to having a couple of nightmare teachers with beards back in the 70s.
     
  14. HeraldtheGreat

    HeraldtheGreat King

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    Location:
    Toronto, Canada
    I've said it before and I'll say it again...

    By my belly and my beard, how could this have happened!? - Suleiman

    Ashurbanipal deserves obvious recognition, for his fist-wielding, Morgan Freeman-housing helicopter-brandishing whiskers of doom! :devil:
     
  15. otaman1

    otaman1 Prince

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    Mar 14, 2013
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    2,697
    A debate sets upon these 2 of these 19 men to see who has the greatest beard.

    George Washington: Welcome everybody to another episode of Beard-o-show. Last week, we looked at those pesky American Revolutionist, and I won! Today, we have volunteers from Civilization V! Let's see who will win today.
    Theodora: Okay. Who versus who?
    *Ahmad al-Mansur and Pedro II comes out
    Ahmad al-Mansur: *cough cough* You see folks, Mr. Ahmad al-Mansur is the next Allah. Pedro, well, he's just a pesky old dude with a fake beard.
    Pedro II: And I'll put this fake butt beard up yo keester. Now why don't you shut up and let the old, awesome, paradise Pedro speak.
    Ahmad al-Mansur: La! I came on stage first, so I shall speak first. Okay. Uhm .. So ... my beard is the best cause .. uhm ..
    *a shout from the crowd is heard
    Charlemagne: Boo! You suck!
    Napoleon: Shut up. You're not even in Civilization V.
    Charlemagne: Well, you don't even have a beard.
    Isabella: Calm yo tits boys. Mr. Ahmad al-Mansur, go on.
    Ahmad al-Mansur: As I was saying, Pedro's Muslim ... I mean ... uhm. How do I do this?
    Pedro II: Dude, you're not even talking about your beard. You're just making complaints. Anyway, my beard is white, yes, because I FREAKIN GOT DYES NEXT TO BRASILIA! What do you have? A small, cold-hearted beard that nobody can really make out of. My beard, I kept it long, for my grandmama, Maria.
    Maria: Yay! You go my bebé netos!
    Ahmad al-Mansur: My beard, as you guys probably already know ---
    Pedro: No we don't know.
    Ahmad al-Mansur: Uhh, anyway, it's for Allah. My great ---
    Pedro: What's for Allah?
    Ahmad al-Mansur: My beard ...
    Pedro: You're beard what?
    Ahmad al-Mansur: It's for Allah.
    Pedro: Wait, what's for Allah? Oh wait! You meant your short stem is for Allah! I see.
    George Washington: Enough!
    *Washington whispers to Isabella and Theodora
    George Washington: That was the worst debate I've ever seen.
    Theodora: True
    George Washington: So, what do y'all ladies think?
    Isabella: Ahmad, outrageous. Pedro, fantástico.
    Pedro: Thank you.
    Theodora: Ahmad, I think you were a little off-topic. But, Pedro brought you back into the topic. Syncharitíria Pedro.
    George Washington: Well, Ahmad, you're pretty good, I have to admit it.
    Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
    George Washington: Hey! No hate on the Muslim guy. I mean, he's basically the only one in here. *chuckles Anyway, Pedro, you were outstanding.
    Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
    George Washington: 3 votes on you Pedro. You're going to Civilization VI. Congrats!
    Pedro: Thank you! I love you guys!
    George Washington: What did you say?
    Pedro: Thank you! Love y'all!
    George Washington: You little son of ---
    *commercial break
     
  16. HeraldtheGreat

    HeraldtheGreat King

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    Toronto, Canada
    I detect a bit of a bias. :lol::p
     
  17. DaNuke

    DaNuke Warlord

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    HueHueBr
    :lol: Do More of these !
     
  18. crawf0rd

    crawf0rd The One and Only

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    Jan 30, 2012
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    483
    Harald's beard is awesome; I like hair that is all arranged.

    Suleiman on the other hand has a giant, beard. His defeat line really seals it for me.

    Ramses has that awesome thingy attached to his beard. I think that's cool.
     
  19. AriochIV

    AriochIV Colonial Ninja

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  20. otaman1

    otaman1 Prince

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2013
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    George Washington: Welcome back from that short commercial break. Next up, we have a 3-way battle.
    Gandhi: You want to battle wits, see who's a better pacifist?
    Ashurbanipal: Uhm, what?
    Gandhi: Rap so hot, I spit Yoga Fire.
    Ashurbanipal: Oh Ashur, help me kill this little bald-headed man.
    Gandhi: Everything you preach, I said it first. You should jot down these words and plagiarize my whole verse.
    Ashurbanipal: But I was born 3000 years before you.
    Gandhi: No stupid. I'm talking to that guy.
    *Gandhi points to Haile Selassie
    Haile Selassie: Me what? Oh hell nah! Just because I was the last leader in Civilization V to die doesn't mean you can pick on me!
    Gandhi: I am passively resisting the fact that you suck. I am celibate because I don't give a ---
    Haile Selassie: Ew! So you're a virgin!?
    Ashurbanipal: LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWLLLLLL!
    Gandhi: What? I was in Epic Rap Battles ... and I needed a black man.
    Haile Selassie: You racist son of a ---
    Gandhi: I'm not racist! I love black people. My country, India, was part of Africa a long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long time ago. You see, we're related.
    *Ashurbanipal starts crying
    Isabella: Enough! So what y'all "Ladies" think?
    George Washington: Awe, Ashurbanipal is crying. Ooh, and I like that sexy beard of his. So sexy, I wanna dig it up all night. Hehe ....
    Theodora: Gandhi, you have no beard. Plus, you were rapping the whole time ... plagiarizing a rap. And Haile Selassie, you didn't say anything!
    Haile Selassie: That's Ashurbanipal right there!
    Theodora: Shhh! My vote goes to Ashurbanipal.
    George Washington: Same.
    Isabella: Me three. 3 votes for Ashurbanipal. Enhorabuena!
    Ashurbanipal: :)
    Gandhi: :mad:
    Haile Selassie: :cry:
    Isabella: Stay tune for the next round, where we will have 2 contestant battle off in a rap.
    Gandhi: What?! I thought this was the rap! Fine! I will build my nukes and blow ---
    *commercial break
     

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