Daw I think you are off track on this one. We've had conversations. You mention your wife. You aren't making an effort to display your sexuality, but you do. If you go to work on a Monday and talk to a co-worker about the great weekend you had...took a trip with the wife up to <insert cool place in Russia here>, had a good meal at a nice, kind of romantic, restaurant...tried the <insert cool previously unknown food here> but didn't really care for it too much, though <insert wife's name here> really did...again you aren't making an effort to display your sexuality, but you are. You did at the restaurant, and you did again at work. If you spent the weekend with someone you love, and their name is Bob, why should you have to be on your guard in telling the story? You still wouldn't be making an effort to display your sexuality...but you would be...and the fact that has consequences for other people while it doesn't for you is why those other people are upset.