New Turn Thread 1796-1816

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Kev

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1796

NEXT ON THE HISTORY CHANNEL:

FANATICA AT WAR

Join your host, the documentary guy with the deep voice, as we explore Fanatica during the turn of the 19th century. Decisions made by leaders at war almost constantly, but managed to hold celebrations for many years despite.

Narrator: Fanatica, at the beginning of the 1800’s, looked quite different than it does today. The Mongols had more than just one city, and long lost tribes like the English, Romans and Germans dotted the lands as well.

Rumor had it that even the Zulus walked the lands, but that is just conjecture.

The ancient Chinese had been defeated, and their former cities, joyous at their new government, were working furiously to supply arms in a never-ending wartime state.

Let us read a page from the journal of President Kev of that time.

Voiceover to represent Kev:

Our land war technology is turning to a naval bent. Fine, we of the Inner Circle can see plenty of good more powerful ships can do.

The geeks… urm…. scientists at Newton University have been running the table on great new naval warfare techniques. Electricity allowed the building of destroyers. Steel has seen the advent of cruisers – though none have come off the assembly line as of yet. They were nearing combustion which would likely give us stealth shipping. Soon, there may be the necessary technology to build giant ships of battle and ships to carry things that maybe someday might fly. Maybe.

Our cavalry, however, is still in the field. Concentrated in Mongol lands, they are still a force to be reckoned with – even if the defensive posture of the enemy is becoming more difficult. The fact of the matter, strike we must, for the time of mechanical steeds will undoubtedly be our future.

President Kev. 1796

Narrator:

Let us visit the events, both happy and terrible, and see how this has effected the growth and development of United Fanatica.

Queue Music and titles.

Narrator standing at the ancient capital building in Olympia:

Here is where we begin in 1796. The Inner Circle met here at the capital in Olympia. The Inner Sanctum consisted of various meeting rooms, sleeping quarters, a game room, and a keg refrigerator. At the time, all reports came directly here, and decisions were sent back equally quickly.

The decision was made in this year to rest the military that were in Mongol lands. A tentative peace had been declared, and the five cavalry divisions in Mongol territory needed a respite from the constant fighting.

Word has it that spies tried to bribe the local guerilla warrior partisans that had formed, but were too pricey to consider.

The general of the armed forces, the famed General Ren whose tactics are studied to this day, was busy now in Roman territory in any case. It would seem that Roman forces were once again threatening the city of Dukeshire, and the very busy cavalry there were dispatched and destroyed the Romans successfully. This had dire consequences, however, as their Mongol allies were forced to declare war as an act of solidarity. Some say, Livia of the Romans and Genghis of the Mongols had many a tryst to keep this alliance alive, but that is just too weird to consider.

[Show man in furs and woman in toga staring at each other lecherously]

In the province of Triton, reinforcements in the form of 3 veteran cavalry were preparing to leave for Mongol lands. All receive their final training and support from Beijing.

In was in this year that the English discovered Economics. Well behind the curve, but that was no surprise either.

Mongol guerilla warriors now began tearing up roads and other infrastructure from their own land.

1798:

Narrator:

Two years later, 1798, let us visit the journal of the Minister of Interior at the time.

“Ah, Canton has finished its aqueduct and is now building a factory. I see that its neighbor, Beijing, has built sewers and is training yet more vet cavalry. Our city of Olympia has built sewers as well and will now build a bank where I can store my huge cash surpluses. Best of all, my lovely namesake city of Dukeshire has built city walls and have started training riflemen for even more defense. That city shall never fall. It will be my headquarters soon from which I will rule this world eventually. All shall bow before the duke o’ york as I ………”

duke o’ york 1798

The words trail off at this point, and it’s been largely accepted that the MOI was quite inebriated at the time of writing. It does point to many of the structures that were being built at the time, though.

The new rifle in Dukeshire is very important indeed. With the world distracted by Mongol happenings, a spy is sent to… well… SPY on the nearby Roman city of Brundisium. It has been noted by historians that at this point, Brundisium was being defended by a mere rifle unit and had no city walls at all. An interesting move was the result: a rifle unit was sent forth from Dukeshire and fortified on a nearby hill. The Romans were unaware.

The Mongols, however, WERE aware of the Fanatica presence. Five fully healed and ready-to-fight cavalry emerged from Kashgar to flush out and kill the guerillas that were raping the land along with various livestock. A few wounded slightly, they moved to a Bokhara for resting. The rest move to a fortification outside of Basra. Further incursions on Mongol soil seemed imminent. Spies near the northernmost city (on the main continent) of Aleppo spot 2 fanatics and a rifle in defense. Of course, a rifle was just being finished as well. The fundamentalist Mongols seemingly were looking to destroy their invaders by sheer numbers – and even entertained thoughts of succeeding.

In a new age of exploration, cities like Bapedi, Leipzieg, Hastings, and Canterbury were spotted.

Ancient records show that in this year, other nations were busy as well. More and more English ships dotted the oceans. The Germans and Romans traded Electronics for Explosives. The Fanatics were worried, for now the Germans could change to the Hoover Dam if they wished.

1800:

Turn of the century. A time of happiness and growth in Fanatica despite the wars that were raging. Kevholm produced silk for trade and began an offshore platform.

Duke of Marlbrough, the Science Minister, wrote these fine words in this year:

“We have it! We have combustion! The results of which have broken the glasses of each of the scientists. No matter, they have all put making tape down the center of their eyewear, and it looks fine. And they stay safe in the pocket protectors as well. I wonder why they can never get dates. Perhaps with some flashy cars they can, and we’ll try to discover some with automobile. Could it be the clothes? Kevholm has silk to trade, but they prefer the polyester that they like so much. I wonder what a “geek” is…”

Duke 1800

War returned in this year, but not where it was expected. The cavalry in Mongol lands awaited reinforcements, and the transport with 3 fresh cavalry divisions was on the way. True, the cavalry were busy taking on random troops and guerillas, and even a destroyer joined the fray and bombarded a Mongol cannon that roamed too close to shore. Alpine troops were trained in Kashgar as well. Yet, the attack on Basra would wait.

Instead, verifying that the city of Brundisium was still poorly defended, the hard-working cavalry in Dukeshire hit the city hard. When the dust settled, the city was undefended, and the hill-climbing riflemen were able to walk in - to much fanfare in the streets. 103 gold was taken, but no improvements survived the battle.

Records are very clear that Livia visited after this attack

[Cut to reenactment with a woman in toga visiting a group carrying shotguns]

Livia: Hi, it’s me Liv
Empty stares
Livia: Well… um…. can I have some of those Tactics?
Empty stares
Livia: OK… that’s no problem… You have that UN and all
Empty stares
Livia: Of course if you didn’t
Empty stares. Guns now cocked.
Livia: B-b-b-but that’s OK. I’d like peace. Bye..
Giggles

United Fanatica, at this important turn of the century, now celebrated like it was 1799. Even the geeks join in the festivities, and not much is done in science for over a decade. But, it has been noted on many bathroom walls, they actually managed to “get some”. Hence, the Great Fanatica Baby Boom was underway.

Lost amid the revelry were dastardly deeds. The English sneak attacked an exploring vessel and sank it – but not before Norwich was discovered. Mongols attacked as well, but a rifle brigade fell to cavalry firmly ensconced in the Basra fort.

1802:

So many cities. The drunken scribblings of Mr. Spice:

“Thisss issh great. [Apparently he wrote with a slur when drunk as well]. Ssho many fun. Sex with no consequenshes. Babies, I guessh. Ah, they’re cute. Been to sooooooooo many cities that are shhhelebrating. I, like, govern sshome of these. Pellaken’s Gay, Spicey Maiden, MarlgoesDowns, Mpondo, Sixpack, Cornmustard, Virocunniligas, Spyjumper, Tsingtao, Kashhhhhgar, HungryHungryHippoville, Assthenae, Bokhara, POT-o-somethingorother, The Holy **** Pond, Shangemhigh, Be-the-jing, and O-o-olympia.”

Mr. Spice 1802

Though he got some of the names a bit mixed up, historians have been able to sort through and have a proper list of the cities. If anyone really cares. The fact of the matter is that babies were being make faster than …. well… just about anything really.

Some members of the inner circle must have been ‘designated riders’ (without cars there were no ‘designated drivers’ at this time), for some things actually got done. Some items were rushed like sewers in Dreadtown and alpine troops in Brundisium and the rifle in Dukeshire.

More German cities were being discovered as well, and Lungdunum was discovered in this year as well on the German mainland. Site of the “Lugdunum Pact” between the Germans and the Romans, it would be a nice city to crush.

The attack planned at Basra, however, does not hit in this year. There was nothing but swamp surrounding this city in this year, and the cavalry could not land from their ship and attack all at once. They unloaded into a swamp to wait, but the nearby transports were fearful as a Mongol destroyer was harassing them. Well, the heroic Fanatica destroyer came to the rescue and cleared the waters. More celebrating ensued.


We’ll return to “Fanatica at War” after these messages.

[queue commercials for Hair Club for Men and Viagra]
 
Part II

1804:

Narrator:

The year of war and dread. Much happened during this year that prompted the growth of the Fanatica Empire, and the severe shrinking of the Fanatica coffers.

First, celebrating continued throughout the land. Thunder Falls joined the fun as well.

Second, war.

Poised on the threshold of Basra, the city fell quicker than Spice after 6 pitchers. Ships, cavalry, spies, and transports all entered the city to rest and heal. 158 gold and a marketplace are the rewards – along with the swamp-infested size 4 city. Peace talks with everyone’s favorite whipping boy took center stage:

[Reenactment with fur-clad oaf speaking with uniformed officer]

Genghis: Hmm. You powerful.
Ren: You’re very smart to notice
Genghis: Hmm. Because of this I will threaten you until you show to me Tactics
Ren: Bad Genghis. You play nice
Genghis: Me sorry. Genghis goes away in peace now.
Ren: Now that’s a good Khan. Here’s some kibble.
Genghis: Yum.

A further bit of excitement draws attention in this year. One that shapes Fanatica’s future dramatically.

An exploring spy discovered the city of Heidelberg. The city was in disorder and the citizens were depressed and poor. Posing as a wealthy city planner, the leaders of the city agreed to let our spy run the place if they were given 620 gold. This was a big city, with many improvements. With nearly 1,800 gold, President Kev decideed to make the purchase. He was always a sucker for a bargain. The spy is magically transported over land and water to reach Canton, and Heidelberg belonged to the Fanatics.

Many historians, philosophers and drunk people have argued this move ad infinitum. On the one hand, it was a very nice city with built in defense behind intact city walls. It also provided THREE engineers with the purchase. Yet, it would be a city subject to attack from all the German forces as well as units out of Lungdunum. What would become of it? It was too late for Kev to go back.

Third:
Dread also visited the Fanatics in this year. Word reached the capital that the Germans have nearly completed the Cure for Cancer. Word followed that stateed “did we say ‘Cure for Cancer’? We meant Hoover”. A terrible switch, and one likely prompted by the out-and-out PURCHASE of one of their beloved cities.

With cash at 1400, Kev was forced to spend no less than 700 to finish the Hoover Dam. Kev seemed to say the “Dam” part louder than the “Hoover” part. Cash would be down for a while, but it would return. The dastardly Germans then went and discovered Refining as well.

The Mongols slinked away from Basra as well. It was quite a year.

1806:

Narrator:

Not much happened domestically at this stage. A part of Ren’s journal is found that tells us some of the planning, however:

“Basra is a dump. Bugs, lizards, and other icky creatures crawl from the swamps both daily and nightly. It is also many miles from the next city, and an attack would leave the forces vulnerable. We have perfectly working transports here, and I’ve devised a new plan. Aleppo is the northernmost city on this forsaken island, and a seabourne attack here will give us a hold on another coastal property. It is also much closer to its neighbor Samarkand and that city is close to the capital Karakorum. When the time comes, we can actually form a “vise” with our troops to squeeze the capital like a zit.”

Ren 1806

In the mean time, the Fanatica troops held in Basra and retooled.

The Hoover Dam, still a wonderful power generator today, was built in this year in Fort Pornstar. Instantly Fanatica’s factories were more efficient and cleaner as well. The city now started on some sewers for getting EXTRA clean.

Two engineers loaded into a transport from Heidelberg and went due north to some interesting land. Heidelberg was not growing with all of the food these engineers ate, so some nice new cities there would be welcome.

Internationally, there was a great deal of action. The Romans discovered Tactics. Lo and behold, trading of technologies becomes vogue.

Zulus got tactics from Rome
English got Tactics from Rome
Mongols got Explosives from Rome
Romans got Refining from Germans
Mongols got Refining from Germans
Germans got Tactics from Rome
Mongols got Tactics from Rome

The Germans then discovered the Cure for Cancer at Konigsberg. It would seem that the Fanatics could use this to their own ends.

1808:

Again, not too much domestically. Elibb’s journal reads as follows:

“So much to build. When will it all end. We build something and we just need to build something else. Mpondo’s vineyards have opened. The wine freight would be nice to sample. Brighton’s engineers will hopefully help that city – along with the spy being trained. Those engineers in Tsingtao will probably settle another city up there, and Tsingtao could use the aqueduct. Thank goodness we have alpine troops in Heidelberg and Basra. Well, at least no one seems to be going after Leeds or Oxford or anything. It would just mean more building. Hey, it’s celebrating time. That honey over in Cambridge wants me, I just know it. Boy, the way she …….[censored]”

Elibb 1808

Trade talks began in earnest in 1808. There were four freights with a few more on the way, and the Inner circle must decide the destinations.

Internationally, another round of trades:

English got Electronics from the Romans
English got MONARCHY from the Mongols. That’s weird.
Mongols got Electronics from the English
Zulus got Electronics from the Mongols
English got Explosives from the Mongols

In a fit of bad judgment, the Germans sneak attack in this year. They attacked… the roads and irrigation – those brave souls. However, the next bit gives Kev detractors plenty of ammunition against him. A German diplomat was allowed to steal the well-guarded secret of steel. With trade, the Fanatics now feared that cruisers could be used by their enemies.

[Cut to reenactment as actor dressed as President Kev slaps himself in the head]

1810:

Fanatica’s own cities then decided to start a navy buildup in any case. Joespaniel began a cruiser while others wait to finish projects on their own before beginning. It was the beginning of the great navy build.

More freight – gems were found in Potopolia and loaded into trucks to sell. A bubblin’ crude rises from the ground near Virocounium. It was loaded into trucks to sell.

War on the horizon? SEVEN veteran cavalry and a spy loaded into a transport and were sent north. Yes, the great Operation Overhorde was still on the minds of the celebrating public. When they weren’t vomiting.

Heidelberg also began a spy to protect from such dastardly stealing. Kev would have to do more here to justify his impulse purchase, and it would seem that he was trying everything.

[Cut to reenactment as actor dressed as President Kev slaps himself in the head]

On a northern forest island, two engineering groups were dropped to fend for themselves. What will become of them. Perhaps we’ll find out after these messages.

[cue local commercials for Crazy Bob’s discount electronics, Crazy Jim’s used cars, and Crazy Alice’s Restaurant]

It would seem that nothing much went on in 1810 in the international front. Stories abound of the massive parties held by the Inner Circle, and this year was no exception. During the raging party of this year, it was the usually-calm governor Dell that stood out for his debauchery. It was largely rumored that, on a drunken bet, Dell discovered the technology of Karaoke and sang the male portion of Paradise by the Dashboard Lights by Meatloaf. Further rumors have Becka singing the female part, but they are unconfirmed.

1812:

While a wonderful year to start a war, Genghis actually moved his troops when the Fanatics demanded. It would have to wait another year or two.

Germans attacked Heidelberg in this year with dragoons, but the defenses held. Will it be long until cavalry, trained expertly at the Academy of Sun Tzu, begin assaults?

[Cut to reenactment as actor dressed as President Kev slaps himself in the head]

1814:

Across the land, the cry is heard:

“WAR ON!”

Genghis is finally insulted enough to declare war. The landing near Aleppo accounts for serious death.

[cue to map with diagram]

The cavalry launched from the transport right outside the city. Some attacked the city, but when that was done, others attack the units outside of the city. In total, 4 rifles, 2 dragoons, 1 partisan, 2 fanatics and 1 cannon were destroyed (several were stacked). The city was taken by Fantica and earned the empire 254 gold and a city with a granary, aqueduct, marketplace, and a statue commemorating the Voyage of Darwin.

Genghis agreeed to peace again.

In the warring frame of mind, a new spy in Heidelberg visited Lugdunum. The leaders there wanted 1,100 gold to turn over the city. Conversely, Lutetia only wanted 635 gold. Deal made, and Lutetia was now Fanatica property as well. The booty includeed 154 gold, a transport, partisan, alpine troops, and peace with the Romans.

Celebrations were halted in this year, and with the new growth in the cities of the land, it was apparent that some level of luxuries must remain – the citizens are just too used to it now.

A balance of 30% in taxes, 50% in science and 20% in luxuries meant only 2 entertainers (both in Spycatcher for some reason) are necessary, a profit of 321 gold is made, and techs are discovered in 3 turns. 10% in luxuries means 15 entertainers necessary but with 40% in taxes and 50% in science they had a 438 gold profit and still 3 turns to tech. Looks like celebrating was worth it.

Hey, it accounted for a throne room improvement EVERY two years. It looks nice now.

Internationally, Mongol destroyers were all over the waters near Aleppo, but they seemed to be steering randomly like only Mongols can. Tech trading once again:

Germans got Chivalry from Rome
Germans got Electricity from Rome
Rome got Steel from the Germans [Cut to reenactment as actor dressed as President Kev slaps himself in the head]
Germans got Fundy from Rome

1816:

Becka-Becka harvested some lovely spices and they were put into a truck to sell. The city now began an offshore platform.

[Center on narrator outside of Karakorum]

I’m sitting now outside the city of Karakorum. This is the Holy Grail for the Fanatics at this time, but how will they get here. The city is walled, and with tactics they may soon have alpine troops in the defense. Partisans by the two’s and three’s will likely be coming here in 1816 to help defend the palace. We know it becomes property of Fanatica - as it remains to this day, but the Inner Circle in the early 1800’s had to work very hard for this city.

Find out how this was completed in part two of this series “FANATICA AT WAR”

I’m your golden-toned documentary narrator saying, ‘goodbye’.

[cue reminder that the episode that was just seen is available on tape for 20 gold]
 
Kev, you are truly the master of story telling! :goodjob: Don´t feel bad about Heidelburg, with a few more alpine troops we will most certainly be able to defend it. And hopefully the Germans won´t get espionage before they are no more. :)
 
Once again, well done Kev!

And stop slapping your head, remember we do enough kegging to take care of those useless brain cells ;)

Don't worry about everyone getting Steel, our Battleships will take care of those pussy Cruisers :D

:lol: @ the meeting between Liv' and the soldiers :goodjob:
 
On the request from duke, here are some screenshots. They cover all parts of the world known to us and I have tried to make them overlap a little to make it easier to find out how the areas are located relative each other.

Main Island with some small island cities
Viroconium island
The Romans
Heidelburg, German island and dropped of engineers
Mongol main island
Deimos
Europa
English part of Dover continent
Triton (former chineese mainland)
The English
Zulus
Sweet spot island
Mongol colony continent
 
How many cities do each of the other civs have because there seems to be an enormous expanse of shadow on the world map that could be full of nasty cities. Probably not though, but it seems odd that no-one has bothered to settle there. I also believe that the land where we've just landed two engineers is the German continent and so we have them surrounded! We're well on the way to containing the Romans too so well done everybody! :goodjob:
 
Romans: 11 cities, ie Rome (capital), Veii, Antium, Cumae, Neapoli, Pompeii, Pisae, Ravenna, Hispalis, Lugdunum, Byzantium. Of these cities, Neapoli, Pisae, Hispalis and Byzantium are not visible on the map. One of them is most surely by the irrigations to the right of Veii.

Zulus: 7 cities (as an average province for us :D ). They are Zimbabwe, Ulundi, Bapedi, Isandlwhana (capital), Intombe, Swazi. Tugela. Of these, Zimbabwe and Tugela are not visible on the map. Zimbabwe is surely located in the middle of their puny island, but that island is too small to harbour Tugela as well. It is likely a small outpost somewhere.

Germans: 5 cities, ie Leipzig, Hamburg (capital), Königsberg, Frankfurt, Munich. Königsberg and Munich are not visible, but probably located on their small island. It is not connected to the land mass were the dropped off settlers are, btw. I thought i got that on the screenie. Oh well.

English: 16 cities, too many to write down. London as capital. Only 11 visible on the map and three of them are on the Dover continent. At least one more is on their main island, leaving 4 outposts out there somewhere.

Mongols: 10 cities with Karakorum as capital. They have only three core cities left on their main island, one decent at a separate island NW of their main island (Kabul) and probably three outposts on that large colony continent (only 2 visible). This leaves 4 more colonies whose locations are unknown to us.

If the land mass with our dropped of engineers is connected to any of our enemies, it is the Romans. But the roman island would then have to be very large, and they only have 4 non-visible cities. The presence of two goodie-huts close to the engineers also suggest that they are on an isolated island. I bet we will find at least one more city on the Viroconium island in the darkened are left there.

When it all comes down everything looks good. Most of our enemies would fit in a province of ours. They have only a small number of cities we don´t know the location for. The English are the largest with 16 cities and we have a whopping 42 cities outranking all competition. :)
 
Nice work Spice! Sorry - I meant that the engineers could be on the Roman island, not the German one. :)

So, what does everyone think about our popping the huts on the island with the engineers? I this it would be too costly to pop them with the engineers and suggest that if possible we get them within city radii before popping, to ensure that we get cash or units from them.
 
I'm guessing that the island we landed upon is uninhabited - as mentioned probably because of the unpopped huts. My intention here was to build a city on the spot where the trees are being irrigated. Then, the hut would be in that city's radius. It will likely give us either money or a military unit.

Glad you all liked the accounts. I really did "impulse buy" when it came to Heidelberg. I couldn't help it. I totally didn't consider that the Germans had Sun Tzu's so have vet units all over and that they would send a dip in to take one of our prized techs. Now we have a spy there, so hopefully future attemps at stealing would be stopped.

Thanks for the city info, Spice. I was in a rush as I'll be travelling and I didn't get a chance to put all of those UN stats out there.

Just so everyone knows: even though we've taken more Mongols cities, their money total has actually RISEN! They have like 2500 gold. Nice to be fundy.
 
Originally posted by duke o' york
You can only take one tech out of a city with dips anyway. Apparently you can just keep going back if you first take a tech with a spy, but once you steal with a dip then that city is flagged and cannot be stolen from again. Sodaq taught me that! :D

True, but I was more worried by the Roman city on the continent. They could always send a spy or a dip as well. Those bastards. :)
 
Originally posted by Kev
Just so everyone knows: even though we've taken more Mongols cities, their money total has actually RISEN! They have like 2500 gold. Nice to be fundy.

So there will be lots of prize money when we capture Karakorum then. Nice. :D
 
Basically, yes. If you have a dip in your city I think you have a 40% or so chance of capturing an enemy spy/dip when they attempt to steal tech/destroy things in that city. A spy increases the percentage chance and the number of spies and/or dips you have there further increases it. I don't think that there is a difference for a vet spy but maybe.
 
Its supposed to stop your cities from being bribed. I think it also includes stealing techs but I'm not sure whether it just reduces the effects.
 
I thought we were talking about reducing the chance of success of the mission...rather than limiting the effects.
 
Spy/dip in your city effects the chances of an enemy's spy/dip mission succeeding. I.e. reduces the chance of stealing tech successfully or sabotoging something. I've seen the actual numbers somewhere, perhaps they're in the war academy?
 
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