It was a beautiful early summer morning. The mist was rolling off the hills, leaving a web of dew on the long grass. The field was empty, save for a flock of sheep in the distance, and two orcs at the base of the hill.
“Okay Mr. Ugag, this should be easy. I’ll circle around the herd, and approach them from the top of the hill. You hide behind that bush over there, and when a sheep runs by, you grab it. No sweat ... Ugag? Are you listening?”
“Wha? Ugag see butterfly, sorry. What we doing?”
“Mr. Ugag, we’re trying to catch a sheep, remember?”
“Oooooh, muttonz! Let us do this.” He took off at a sprint, running straight at the herd. “Uuuuuuugag Stoneskuuuuuuuuulz!”
The herd scattered, except for the grizzled ram that guarded the flock. It watched Ugag futilely chase the scattering sheep and seemed to crouch down. As Ugag ran past, the ram sprung forward and smashed his horns against Ugag’s skull. The massive orc collapsed instantly, as the ram trotted away.
...........
It was a beautiful early summer afternoon. The mists had burned away in the midday sun, and the buzz of insects had given way to a gentle breeze. The hill was deserted except for a flock of sheep and two very large orcs hiding behind two rather small bushes.
“Okay Ugag, I’ve got a new plan. You go on top of that cliff there and get a big rock. Then, I’ll chase the sheep past the base of the cliff. When they run by, you drop the rock down - you’re bound to hit one of them.”
“Ugag throw rock, check. Ugag like this plan.”
They set to work. Ugag climbed the cliff and found a nice sized boulder while his companion snuck around to the other side of the herd. Surprisingly, he was able to herd the sheep down around the base of the cliff.
“Ugag, NOW!”
Ugag heaved the boulder up to shoulder height and threw it with all of his might. It sailed through the air for at least 50 yards before crashing down the rest of the hill, finally coming to rest near the village. As the sheep passed below, the ram looked up with what seemed to be disbelief in his eyes.
“Ha ha haaa! You see how far boulder go? Bet no one throws rock like Ugag!”
...........
It was a beautiful evening, and with the sunset came the cool breeze of an early summer night. The hill was deserted except for a flock of sheep, a very puzzled farmer examining a large boulder in his field, and two very dirty orcs.
“Okay Mr. Ugag, this time its sure to work. Remember that hole we dug? I’m going to have you hide in the hole and I’ll cover it with sticks and leaves. Then, I’ll chase the sheep over the hole. When one falls in, you bash it good. Got it?”
“Ya, Ugag bash sheepie, make it mutton. Little Ugag make smart plans.”
So the two orcs get to work as a grizzled old ram watches from the top of the hill. True to the plan, the sheep run toward the newly covered hole. Right before they get to the trap, however, the ram bleats and the flock scatters. The sheep go everywhere except the conspicuous pile of leaves and grass, save one. A lamb too young to know the meaning of the ram’s call stumbled forward and fell into the pit.
“That’s it! Now, Ugag, smash its skull!”
Ugag raised his massive fist and looked at his enemy.
“Um...”
“C’mon Ugag, smash it! I’m hungry!”
“Er...”
“Ugag, MAKE IT MUTTONZ!”
“But...Ugag think maybe we have fishies tonight. This sheepie too small, just a snack. We throw it back, maybe it get bigger.”
............
As the two orcs trudged back to the village, filthy, tired, and hungry, an old grizzled ram looks out from the hilltop.