Open borders

As always with this game, it depends.

But usually, I open borders with THEM, not the other way around-- and especially if they are right next to me. It's a control thing, and keeps them from scouting me or REXING. Yeah, you get a -1 to them, but they aren't going to attack me either because I've got an army to back up my decision(s).
 
^^ are you saying that refusing an open-borders request results in a -1 diplo demerit?

It does not. He is either mistaken or just pointing out net lack of the +1 for "our open borders bring us closer together." That +1 is not worth opening borders early for, imo.
 
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