Parents of 'ex-gay' student threaten lawsuits

[MobBoss]

I don't particularly care about the opinions of parents who send their child to an ex-gay camp.

He chose to go.

They are monsters.

Nope.

Of course the boyfriend is biased

Yup.

biased towards justice.

Laughable.

Also, I'd like to remind you that the OP is from a gay magazine in the first place, so don't try to mistrust the authority of the source.

Because gay magazines are absolutely trustworthy sources. Got it.

Mobby, I'm not talking about refusing to fund college if one's child is doing poorly in school, or refusing to fund a drug habit. I'm talking about refusing to fund college because one's child is homosexual.

And if you dont agree with that behavior you are under an obligation to continue that funding?

Point is...your simply not.

And fwiw, I have indeed seen predatory homosexuals when I was in college and have indeed recounted that story in these forums before. And this was before I was a christian, when I was a democrat, and was quite liberal.

If you dont think that happens sometimes in college your beyond naive.

This is objectively immoral, and I don't care if you have the legal right, it's still wrong.

I simply disagree.

You may disagree that it's wrong, (and you'd be deadly wrong about it)

Rolf...whats so 'deadly' about it?

but I think you can at least understand my point - it's not the instrument that is the problem, it's what it's being used for. Besides, again, we're not merely talking about funding the son's trips to his boyfriend's house, we're talking about kicking him out of the house, taking away his financial and job connections and thus ruining his career in medicine, and alienating him from his family, or go to an ex-gay camp.

Job connections? Huh? He can still get a job without his parents. He can even go to college without their support. Lots of people do....every...single...day.

He hardly "chose." He had to either break off from his boyfriend and have his gayness "cured" and traumatizing himself, or ruin his future and alienation from his family. It was coercion.

It was their rules and he absolutely had a choice as an adult to walk away from it. Lots of people do.....every...single...day.

 

[nonconformist]

Cool, I'm gonna force my son to be gay by depriving him of his funding.

In fact, that wouldn't work in the UK, so I might have to move to America to make him gay.


Is that cool with y'all, mobby?

 

[mrt144]

MobBoss bribes his children into behavior he considers "Good". At least that's what I'm gathering from his posts.

 

[nonconformist]

It's carrot and the stick behaviour, where the carrot is not being brutally sodomised by the stick.

 

[Death_Machine]

He's a pre-med student.

So, BFD. Take out a student loan or whatever. His parents' obligation to support him ended at age 18.

It's the parents who are in the wrong here and it's the parents whose behaviour needs to be criticised. Nothing else is relevant.

That response could be filed under S for either Silly or Stupid. The only thing relevant is that this 23 year old could choose to blaze his own path in the world instead of driving down the road mommy & daddy paved for him.

Because threatening your son with financial coercion (and threatening his future career) and threatening to disown him in order to have him join an ex-gay camp is objectively immoral.

Why can't the guy get some student loans instead of being dependent on his parents?

MobBoss bribes his children into behavior he considers "Good". At least that's what I'm gathering from his posts.

Some day if you have kids you might understand the investment that parents make in their children's lives.

 

[nonconformist]

A kid shouldn't be an investment, they should be your bloody kid, not a stock in microsoft or a painting.

 

[Death_Machine]

A kid shouldn't be an investment, they should be your bloody kid, not a stock in microsoft or a painting.

Dude, pull your head out of your posterior. I'm talking about emotional investment, time, teaching your kid morality, ect. Sure there is a financial investment (for those of us not sucking on the government teet) but it is nothing compared to the other types of investment that parents put into their kids.

 

[Hygro]

I'm pretty sure he'd rather be disowned.

Easier said then done. When it comes down to it, that takes a helluva lot of courage even if the parents are horrible and stand against everything that you are.

 

[nonconformist]

Dude, pull your head out of your posterior. I'm talking about emotional investment, time, teaching your kid morality, ect. Sure there is a financial investment (for those of us not sucking on the government teet) but it is nothing compared to the other types of investment that parents put into their kids.

Why is it an investment?
Investment implies that you expect some sort of return, which is not what a parent's outlook should be. What a parent puts in should be unconditional, and not in any way conditional on the child.

 

[Death_Machine]

Why is it an investment?
Investment implies that you expect some sort of return, which is not what a parent's outlook should be. What a parent puts in should be unconditional, and not in any way conditional on the child.

Step back & see the forest through the trees. I might invest in a new car, do I expect a return on it or do I expect it to drive? If I invest in a new fence for my yard to I expect a return on it or do I simply expect it to work?

Think of investment in a broader sense.

The only thing my children get from me that is unconditional is my love. If they don't do their chores then they don't get to go play. Don't get good grades, your ass gets slavery.... which is like being grounded but with nonstop chores. Behavior which is approved of gets rewarded while bad or unacceptable behavior is punished.

Damn near everything dealing with a kid is conditional, it is called teaching them responsibility.

 

[Miles Teg]

I love how the only people defending this are the ones who are personally homophobic (please, let's not start a war over that term). Everyone else is saying variations of "Legal or not, financially dependent or not, what these parents did was sick and wrong".

 

[MobBoss]

Cool, I'm gonna force my son to be gay by depriving him of his funding.

Go for it. Your cash, do what you want with it.

In fact, that wouldn't work in the UK, so I might have to move to America to make him gay.

They dont have gay people in the UK...?

Is that cool with y'all, mobby?

What you do with your money is your business.

MobBoss bribes his children into behavior he considers "Good". At least that's what I'm gathering from his posts.

What you call 'bribes' I call opportunities to make choices as an adult. And there is nothing wrong with it at all.

You have a problem with people taking a stand for what they believe is right?

Funny, that. I would have thought you all for that type of freedom. But apparently you desire a world where people have to dish out their own personal cash to fund things they dont want to. Now thats a free society.

 

[MobBoss]

Why is it an investment?
Investment implies that you expect some sort of return, which is not what a parent's outlook should be. What a parent puts in should be unconditional, and not in any way conditional on the child.

Love is indeed unconditional...money (and other priviledges) ...... much less so. Why do you equate love simply with money? I find that rather sad to be honest. I absolutely love my kids, but that does not mean I have to agree or support every little thing they do. I shouldnt compromise my own core beliefs for my kids. If I do that and all I do is give in to their every whim, I end up with a lot of ungrateful, spoiled kids, who have no respect for me at all because I had no backbone to stand up for what I thought was right.

Btw, I wouldnt disinherit my kids if they were gay. I love them, and I certainly am not going to take my estate where I am going. They are welcome to it after I die to use as they see fit. But that still doesnt mean I will fund stuff they do that goes against my core beliefs while I am still alive and kicking. I am not so spineless as to compromise what I believe in simply because a kid thinks its unfair.

 

[Death_Machine]

I love how the only people defending this are the ones who are personally homophobic (please, let's not start a war over that term). Everyone else is saying variations of "Legal or not, financially dependent or not, what these parents did was sick and wrong".

I call bullspit. You used the term homophobic, yet you don't want any rebuttal about it.......... so fine, I won't beat you about the head with your cheapshot & subsequent denial of discussion about it. Words mean things, so if you don't mean it then don't say it.

You focus on what the parents doing as sick & wrong while I view it as the 23 year old man being weak and pathetic. If a man lacks the balls to stand up for his beliefs at the age of 23 then he is a coward and unworthy of my sympathy.

 

[Miles Teg]

I call bullspit. You used the term homophobic, yet you don't want any rebuttal about it.......... so fine, I won't beat you about the head with your cheapshot & subsequent denial of discussion about it. Words mean things, so if you don't mean it then don't say it.

If you want to sidetrack, I'll sidetrack the conversation. Homophobia is exactly the right term. Anti homosexual attitudes aren't based on any great morals, there based on fear of the other. Homophobia is the perfect word to describe this.

You focus on what the parents doing as sick & wrong while I view it as the 23 year old man being weak and pathetic. If a man lacks the balls to stand up for his beliefs at the age of 23 then he is a coward and unworthy of my sympathy.

You're missing the splinter in the eye of the son for for the logs in the eyes of the parents. I don't think you're seriously going to argue that it's a sign of weakness for a college student to accept financial backing from his parents, so the only claim you can raise against the man is that he caved under pressure. It doesn't make him a brave person, but it doesn't make what the parents did right, not by a country mile. Coercion, intimidation, do these words mean nothing to you? I'm not saying that what was his parents are doing is illegal, I'm saying it should make every decent person sick to their stomachs.

 

[Death_Machine]

If you want to sidetrack, I'll sidetrack the conversation. Homophobia is exactly the right term. Anti homosexual attitudes aren't based on any great morals, there based on fear of the other. Homophobia is the perfect word to describe this.

You're missing the splinter in the eye of the son for for the logs in the eyes of the parents. I don't think you're seriously going to argue that it's a sign of weakness for a college student to accept financial backing from his parents, so the only claim you can raise against the man is that he caved under pressure. It doesn't make him a brave person, but it doesn't make what the parents did right, not by a country mile. Coercion, intimidation, do these words mean nothing to you? I'm not saying that what was his parents are doing is illegal, I'm saying it should make every decent person sick to their stomachs.

1. Ok, am I a homophobe for not giving a damn what kind of sexual relationship 2 people have but wanting to defend the institution of marriage as an act between a man & a woman for child rearing & all that the traditional family atmosphere implies?

2. No not so clever analogy from me. I don't give a damn what the parents did. You could come up with 100 different scenarios & my response would be the same. Be financially independent & you are beholden to nobody. He could have taken student loans to pay for school & moved in with his boyfriend, but he chose not to. This whole thing is really about the 23 year old's choice, not the agenda his parents tried to push on him.

I made some choices in my life where I did get my strings cut. Hell, I'm probably cut out of my dad's will, but I don't give a damn. I'm happy and a big reason for that was me being my own man & deciding what was right for me no matter what my parents thought.

 

[Bill3000]

1. Ok, am I a homophobe for not giving a damn what kind of sexual relationship 2 people have but wanting to defend the institution of marriage as an act between a man & a woman for child rearing & all that the traditional family atmosphere implies?

The first part of your sentence contradicts the second part.

 

[Death_Machine]

The first part of your sentence contradicts the second part.

No not really. Just look at how many broken homes & single parents we have. I think we would be much better off as a society if some more traditional values were respected, particularly in regards to the family.

 

[aelf]

Discretion is the better part of valour. I think he should just put up with it for now, pretend that he's reformed, go for further education (away from home, preferably), graduate and be as gay as a sunflower on a sunny day. Heck, he could even continue to do whatever he wants before becoming fully independent as long as he manages to lie low. That way, he can benefit from his parents' money and do whatever he likes in the end. He can rub it in their faces later too, if he wants.

Smart kids know how to play the game

 

[Bill3000]

No not really. Just look at how many broken homes & single parents we have. I think we would be much better off as a society if some more traditional values were respected, particularly in regards to the family.

If you're defending "the institution of marriage as an act between a man & a woman", then you are "giving a damn what kind of sexual relationship 2 people have"

You can be socially libertarian or socially conservative, you can't be both at the same time.