So this is my first attempt at a story and would like some constructive criticism please.
Oh, tell if you want keep tuned in
Edit: This vanial Civ with Blue Marbl Mod
Chapter 1- Humble Beginnings
I looked over the houses of my people the Russians, as they continued their constuction from the balcony of my imperial palace, this is good spot for our people I thought to my self. I turned back to my advisors they were argueing, as advisors do. When I heard something catch my ear. Ivan Zakhrov my military advisor was argueing with my domestic advisor Yuri Karkoff over our current goals. "Lions do not threaten Russian peasents, Ivan we must improve Moscow's land." said Yuri. "We must expand yes but lions are not our only threat we must expand the military." mumbled Ivan. Silence fell over the room as I spoke "What threats do you mean Yuri?" I said very concered. "Lord, have you not noticed that Alexander, your forign advisor is not present?" he repiled rather shaken. I quickly glaced to the empty chair and was rather worried. " I gather that you know where he is?" I said calmly. " He is meeting with an forign ambassador.". Suddenly the doors blew open and Alexander walked in quickly "Sire..." he took a deep breath " our scouting party spoted Greek scouting I just finshed meeting their ambassador." Things are indeed interesting I thought. Suddely one of my palace guards burst into the room and whispered something to Ivan. Ivan nodded and the ran out. "Sire a French warrior has arrived at our borders." he said hastily. "This meeting is over I need sometime to think think I did.
So I'll get chapter 2 up only if hears some responses
I like it, but you have done so little there is nothing to comment on. I like your style of writing. Try doing a twice of what you did last time, and it will get plenty of comments.
The fact that you only waited, what, four hours until giving up is just a bit sad. I've posted stories that hadn't been replied to for a day or two. You've only posted one part, that, to be quite honest with you, is very small. Have patience.
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