Pirates Or Ninjas? (Or The Underdog, Zombies?)

[oneperson]

Well, the title pretty much says it all. For those of you not clued in, the question is:
Who would win in a cataclysmic showdown? Pirates or Ninjas (Or the underdog, zombies?)

 

[SuperBeaverInc.]

Th' pirates shall be winnin' th' battle. They be defeatin' those landlubbing ninjas an' takin' all th' plunder fer themselves!

 

[Stormrage]

Ninjaz rulez! Choppity death all over!

 

[puglover]

Ninjas are the best, easy. The Pirates of the Caribbean series was stupid.

 

[Izipo]

You all forget that Zombies will win in the end, just by the force of sheer numbers.
Pirates don't stand a chance. Ninjas will put up a fight, but there are too few of them.

 

[Perfection]

YOU CAN'T MIX SUPERNATURAL CREATURES WITH REAL AWESOME THINGS!

THE ORDER GOES:

Spy > Mafioso > Pirate > Casino Burglar > Bank Robber > Ninja > Cowboy > Cop > FBI > Gangsta

 

[Hitti-Litti]

Spy > Mafioso > Pirate > Casino Burglar > Bank Robber > Ninja > Cowboy > Cop > FBI > Gangsta

You forgot me! I come between Casino Burglar and Bank Robber!

 

[Catharsis]

You all forget that Zombies will win in the end, just by the force of sheer numbers.
Pirates don't stand a chance. Ninjas will put up a fight, but there are too few of them.

The flaw in your logic is taking each of the three contestants at face value. Remember that a pirate's biggest asset is his ship (although most pirates claim to have a bigger asset ) and so he would use this to get the better of the ninjas and zombies. In practice, the zombies wouldn't have a chance - they'd either get mown down by cannonfire or (as they aren't renowned for tactical maneuvers) just career into the sea.

Ninjas, however, are tougher to beat. While they suffer from the same problem as the zombies if they stay on land, ninjas have an amazing ability to hide away in little nooks and crannies, so it is entirely possible that once the pirate has sailed out to sea, he realises that he has several ninjas aboard his ship. But do not make the mistake many people make, that of misjudging a pirate's agility in a setting suited to his fighting style. It is he, not the ninja, who is well-versed in combat in the rigging, staying upright on a storm-tossed deck, or feinting and parrying with the cutlass. While this battle would be close, I think that the pirates would edge it.

So, yeah, pirates would win.

 

[Phlegmak]

Pirates are gay.

Ninjas are lame.

Zombies don't exist.

 

[puglover]

YOU CAN'T MIX SUPERNATURAL CREATURES WITH REAL AWESOME THINGS!

THE ORDER GOES:

Spy > Mafioso > Pirate > Casino Burglar > Bank Robber > Ninja > Cowboy > Cop > FBI > Gangsta

Oh come on. A gangsta couldn't beat a mafioso. Why don't you try pitting Michael Corleone against Vanilla Ice?

 

[The Ninja]

Ninjas will win, remember the Inverse Ninja Law. "When all but one ninja in a battle is killed, he or she shall suddenly become Death Incarnate and be unbeatable."

Plus, they have the "Ask a Ninja" Ninja on their side.

The Ninja

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

Ninjas will win, remember the Inverse Ninja Law. "When all but one ninja in a battle is killed, he or she shall suddenly become Death Incarnate and be unbeatable."

Yeah, well in Total War, all my my ninjas died!!

 

[JP Vieira]

Ninjas allways!

 

[sirtommygunn]

ninjas win through assasination! after the pirates kill the zombies they get picked off one by one until the pirates are defeated!

ninja on the ceiling!

 

[oneperson]

Yes, but you are forgetting that ninjas are solitary warriors, and pirates have fleets and ships and scurvy crews! Also Guns!

 

[Lord_Iggy]

Pirates. But... what if the pirates used their plunder to hire ninjas...? OMFGTHEWORLDJUSTEXPLODED!!!

 

[Perfection]

Oh come on. A gangsta couldn't beat a mafioso. Why don't you try pitting Michael Corleone against Vanilla Ice?

Michael Corleone would totally win.

Here's how it would go down:
Vanilla Ice would act all cocky and tough then Michael would shoot him in the head.

 

[Stormrage]

Right.. so.. pirate have ships. They sail around. They`re out at sea, who cares? The second they step on land their head comes off. Oh, and.. and.. a single ninja can kill a million zombies just by using Choppity Death, so yeah, not so outnumbered now, ey?

 

[Love]

PIRATES FOR THE WIN! duh

 

[Catharsis]

Right.. so.. pirate have ships. They sail around. They`re out at sea, who cares? The second they step on land their head comes off. Oh, and.. and.. a single ninja can kill a million zombies just by using Choppity Death, so yeah, not so outnumbered now, ey?

Why would they need to step on land? A few cannons will deal with the majority of zombies, and a pirate can outfight a ninja on his home turf.