Praise Jesus! Your video game has arrived. Which side would you be on?

[Xenocrates]

Are you a true believer?

Do you think that contemptible books like "The Da Vinci Code" are not only blasphemy, but that you should probably go out into the street right now and behead a few lambs and perhaps mow down some Taoists with a Gatling gun just to deflect its horrible notions of the sacredness of the feminine divine? You do?

Praise Jesus! Your video game has arrived.

To cut a long story short, a Christian fundamentalist video game is in development. This article about the game is damn good writing and very very funny:

http://www.religionnewsblog.com/14896/Jesus-Loves-A-Machine-Gun

Which side would you be on?:

you are a foot soldier in a paramilitary group whose purpose is to remake America as a Christian theocracy, and establish its worldly vision of the dominion of Christ over all aspects of life. You are issued high-tech military weaponry, and instructed to engage the infidel on the streets of New York City. You are on a mission -- both a religious mission and a military mission -- to convert or kill Catholics, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, gays, and anyone who advocates the separation of church and state -- especially moderate, mainstream Christians. Your mission is "to conduct physical and spiritual warfare"; all who resist must be taken out with extreme prejudice.

Oh but wait. There's a lovely kicker: When you get bored with the sanctimonious drabness of fighting on the side of a hateful Christ (which, invariably, you most certainly will), the game apparently allows you to switch modes and fight for the army of the Antichrist, unleashing cloven-hoofed demons who feast on the flesh of the righteous as you blow away Bible-thumping soldiers who, just before they die, secretly confess their intense gay love for their platoon commanders. Isn't that thoughtful?

I'd be with the AntiChrist and I'll see you in hell for it!

This is based on a series of books called the 'left behind' series. Has anyone read them?

PS. the Da Vinci code film has been banned in China, presumably because it made Catholicism look glamorous and interesting. This will come as a surprise to anyone who has been to church!

PS 2 If someone can add a poll with 2 options, 'Eat lead you children of Satan' and 'Die, you righteous slime' I'd appreciate it.

 

[Erik Mesoy]

I've heard of the Left Behind series, and apparently they're pulp through and through.

This looks to be extremely interesting.

 

[The Last Conformist]

I'll play whichever side is the most orky.

 

[GoldEagle]

Wow. And you wonder why I'm not Catholic any more.

 

[Norseman2]

Ah yes, the sweet sweet happiness of slaughtering the infidels... glory be to God!

 

[ybbor]

Perfection should strike you again!

 

[spankey]

What does this have to do with religion in general? They are kooks on all sides and there are some that are wolves in sheep's clothing. How does this demonstrate anything more than the morales of those that create and play the game?

 

[Chukchi Husky]

I remember reading about a Christian game where you have to kill everyone with fruit to save their souls.

 

[Bozo Erectus]

Sounds like a Christian version of the GTA games. Instead of shooting hookers and running over cops, those are really 'infidels'. This is too stupid to be real, has to be a hoax.

 

[Xenocrates]

What does this have to do with religion in general? They are kooks on all sides and there are some that are wolves in sheep's clothing. How does this demonstrate anything more than the morales of those that create and play the game?

There are serious points here about the marketing of religion and how computer games affect kids etc. I'm not bothered about them at the moment; I'm trying to be lighthearted!

I hadn't seen the previous thread about this. Most computer games follow the same formula and it makes a change to fight for a religious theme rather than to stop 'terrorists' or a foreign despot.

Crucify the Zealots for Satan!

I look forward to a game where you play an environmental activist and you have to blow your way through thousands of politicians and oilmen to stop the pollution!

 

[Bozo Erectus]

I look forward to a game where you play an environmental activist and you have to blow your way through thousands of politicians and oilmen to stop the pollution!

Right, they arent hookers, cops or infidels. Its much worse, theyre polluters!

 

[The Last Conformist]

Anyone remember the "Nuke a whale for Christ!" t-shirts?

I wonder if I could make money selling "Nuke the Bay for Christ" ones ...

 

[The Last Conformist]

Crucify the Zealots for Satan!

It's no use killing Zealots - they just come back as Dragoons.

 

[Heretic_Cata]

Sounds like a nice, profane game.

 

[Perfection]

Perfection should strike you again!

Thanks, ybbor.

Are you a true believer? Do you just know deep down in your black Wal-Mart socks that every word of the Bible is the absolute literal truth and nothing dare be doubted and anyone who thinks that God is merely an ambisexual omniblissful bloom of moist divine nondenominational honeydew melon should be strung up by their small intestine and beaten with sticks sharpened by Mel Gibson's teeth?