Put Childrens' jokes here!

[ainwood]

Q.) What do you call a deer that has no eyes?
A.) No-Eye-Deer!

Q.) What do you call a deer that has no legs and no eyes?
A.) Still no-eye-deer!



Q.) Why did the Koala fall out of the tree?
A.) Because it was dead.

Q.) Why did the second koala fall out of the tree?
A.) It saw the first one fall out and thought it was a game.



Q.) How do you kill a blue elephant?
A.) With a blue elephant gun.

Q.) How do you kill a pink elephant?
A.) Squeeze its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.



Q.) Why did the Australian fall off his bike?
A.) He was hit on the head by two koalas falling out of a tree.

 

[DaEezT]

People got hanged for less than that

 

[Simon Darkshade]

Why did the third koala fall out of the tree?
Peer Pressure

Why did the fourth koala fall out of the tree?
Because it was hit by a fridge.

Moderator Action: Kid's jokes Gentlemen
PH76
Please read the forum rules: http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=422889

Why couldn't the cat eat its food?
Because its head was nailed to the floor.

Why is little Johnny running round in circles?
Because we nailed his left foot to the floor.

 

[The Balrog]

Good ones Simon!


Moderator Action: Kid's jokes Gentlemen
PH76
Please read the forum rules: http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=422889

 

[Ohwell]

This might not be a childrens joke, but it is pretty cool

What do you call a midget psycic that escapes from jail?


A small medium at large!

 

[K11]

"I have no funny friends. I'm the funny one. El-Clowno!"
- George in Seinfeld

(I'm bored....)

 

[Mikoyan]

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A Fsshhh! Har! Har!

 

[Sixchan]

Now for the famous cross the road jokes. Brace yourselfs.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.

Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chickens foot.

Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flatmate.

Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off.

Why didn't the lion cross the road?
That's the chickens job.

Why did the ghost cross the road?
To get to the body shop.

Why did the chicken jump off a bridge?
Because he was bored to death by these cross the road jokes.

 

[Magnus]

Q: Why did the elephant paint himself red?
A: To hide in the cherry tree!
Q: Now, have you sever SEEN an elephant in a cherry tree?
why no I can't recall such a thing
A: See how effective it is?

I bought a wooden whistle but it wooden whistle
So I bought a steel whistle but it steel wooden whistle
So I bought a tin whistle and now I tin whistle

Q: How can you tell if an elephant has been in your refigerator?
A: By the footprints in the pie.

Q: How do you catch a unique rabbit?
A: Unique up on it.

 

[Stefan Haertel]

Quick, quick! Here's a good one:

Q: What do you call a sleeping male moose?
A: A bulldozer!



Did you get that? A bull-dozer!!!



Or,

Mary-Ann is crossing the road.

What's missing?


The joke!!!!!!!



If "pro" is the opposite of "con", what's the opposite of "progress"?

 

[Stefan Haertel]

Q: What do you call an egyptian sorceress?

A: A sandwitch.

Q: How do you say "gremlin" in Swahili?

A: "Gremlin in Swahili".

Q: What happens if you drop a blue tissue into the yellow sea at Good Friday?

A: It gets wet.

Q: What does a musician brush his teeth with?

A: A tuba toothpaste.

Q: What can you pay a teacher, even if you don't have any money?

A: Attention.

...

 

[Cunobelin Of Hippo]

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?


"Where's my tractor?"

 

[Suppersalmon]

Knock knock
who's there
apple
apple who
Knock knock
who's there
apple
apple who
Knock knock
who's there
apple
apple who
Knock knock
who's there
apple
apple who
Knock knock
who's there
apple
apple who
Knock knock
who's there
apple
apple who
Knock knock
who's there
orange
orange who
orange your glad i didn'nt say apple

 

[Dell19]

Originally posted by Cunobelin Of Hippo
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?


"Where's my tractor?"

Woo! The first funny joke

 

[Black Fluffy Lion]

You think that's funny?? Here's what I got in my cheap little Christmas cracker at school:

When does a horse have 6 legs??
When there's somebody riding on it!!



Absolutey pure genius

 

[Franklyn]

Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh.

 

[DougInFL]

I forget where I heard this:

"What's red and bad for your teeth?"


"A brick."

 

[Becka]

Q: What do you do when you see a space man?

A: Park in it, man.

*ba dum DUM* *rimshot*

 

[CurtSibling]

What's black, white and red all over?

An exploding nun!

Haw!

 

[CurtSibling]

'Knock Knock!'

Who's there?

'Interrupting cow!'

Interrupting cow wh....

'MOOOOOOOO!!!'