Qatar 2022: 1001 Nights of Football (and Bribery)

[hoplitejoe]

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Team name: Djibouti
Nickname: Shoremen of the Red Sea
Captain: Ahmed Daher (striker)
Team makeup: same as IRL right now
Coach: Genie

The team no one expected to even get to the world cup is now tussling for the top placements in the tournament. No one quite knows how the team from Djibouti went from being the third lowest ranked in the world to an unstoppable football machine. There are rumours that after their 8-1 defeat to Morocco, top scorer Ahmed Daher wandered into the desert, and returned a week later with a new lamp, and coach the mysterious "Genie" who suffers from a rare skin condition turning him blue.

 

[Exhera]

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TAIWAN​

I won't call it Chinese Taipei.​

Line Up:

Bio:
The Taiwanese government kicked off their entire national team and instead hired all of the (male) politicians that have brawled during government sessions. The coach is Jeremy Lin.

Key Players: Anyone mentioned here.​

 

[Terran Empress]

Los Ticos​

​

Because why not pander to the GM?

Coach: Big Boss circa Peace Walker

Star Players:

Las Bolas (Striker)

Juan Vásquez de Coronado (Midfielder)

(if i can come up with more i'll list em)

 

[SamSniped]

Reserving Ireland.

 

[Omega124]

Reserving Ireland.

Due to talking in chat, Sam is exempt from the 3 PM deadline due to how late he was informed about this game existing, as long as he gets it in at a reasonable time.

Confirming HJ, Terra, Joan, and Exhera are fully in the game, even if I haven't updated the OP with it.

Los Ticos forever

 

[Omega124]

Also, I want to note exactly how a world cup selection is even made, since we're reaching the point where we're starting to hit some limits.

(BTW tolni confirmed he is no longer playing so bulgaria won't be counted)

There are six regions that make up FIFA. They are, in realitive strength to each other, UEFA (Europe), CONMEBOL (South America), CAF (Africa), CONCACAF (North America), AFC (Asia) and OCF (Oceania). As you'll see, the seats delegated tend to mirror the relative strength of each region, while making sure every region gets some represented.

How are spots delegated? It works on a simple process like this:

1. Host gets in, no questions asked. Doesn't effect anything else in terms of seats. They're just kind of a freebie.

2. Europe gets 13 seats, Africa gets 5. This is set in stone; nothing will add or reduce the amount seats these two regions get, UNLESS a nation from that region is hosting (in 2018, there will be 14 european nations since Russia is hosting)

3. The other four regions are variable. Asia can have 4 or 5 (5 to 6 for the purposes of this game since Qatar is hosting), S America can also have 4 or 5, North America gets 3 or 4, and Oceania can get 1 or /0/ (It's a really small region; hence why sometimes it doesn't send anyone at all).

The way these variable seats are played is that the lowest ranking qualifying nation, or only in the case of Oceania, in these four regions will play a match with a predetermined other region to see who gets in. Asia plays North America, Oceania plays South America (Therefore, effectively South America is always going to get 5 since Oceania suuuuuucks)

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Now, for all the rule breaking I'm allowing, I am going to try to keep this model going if I can. Which is why I'm doing a PSA now, since I'm seeing a potentioal conflict arising. These are the confirmed nations in the game, by region:

Europe (5):

England
Scotland
Wales
Ireland
France

South America (0):

N/A

Africa (1):

Djibouti

North America (2):

Costa Rica
USA

Asia (5):

Qatar (Host)
Iran
Chinese Taipai/Taiwan
India
Indonesia

Oceania (0):

N/A

---

What this means is that Asia is almost completely maxed out at six, which, if it does, means North America (which is reaching its lower limit) will have to send out 3 instead of 4. If we get two North American players right now, that would also shut out Asia from getting new players at all.

Don't let the model dictate who you play as; if I get one person who joins as, say, North Korea, and then someone else wants to be Japan, I'm going to let them be Japan. I'd prolly just take a slot out of Europe for it since I dont see ourselves getting 13 Euro players. However, I am going to stick to the model if I can, so be prepared for the heavy amount of Euro NPCs.

EDIT: Mini-PSA, due to political reasons Israel, despite physically being in Asia, is a member of UEFA and thus would be in a Euro slot. Also, due to how its almost impossible to qualify as OCF, Australia is part of ACF rather than OCF if anyone was thinking of being as them (NZ is still OCF however)

 

[Grandkhan]

Actually Australia made it the year before it got moved to Asia, and NZ made it in 2014 and 2010 iirc. So not impossible.

Anyway, Israel;



Team Nickname: The Blue and Whites
Team Composition: the same as now (Like they'll find another 20odd good players by 2022) with the notable exception of the undead skeletal remains of Moshe Dayan, who crushes his opponents' windpipes with naught but his bare phalanges.
Coach: Guus Hiddink
Co-Coach The Hebrew Hammer
Recent History: After failing to qualify in 2018, Israel has somehow managed to qualify in 2022 by virtue of finding a decent coach and by believing really hard guys. As Europe gets wrecked before them, Qatar bows to Western pressure and permits them to compete. Israel heads to the 2022 world cup for the first time since 1970, and they believe.

 

[Omega124]

Actually Australia made it the year before it got moved to Asia, and NZ made it in 2014 and 2010 iirc. So not impossible.

NZ made it in 2010; but they had to fight AFC, not South America, which made it significantly easier. The new rules in 2014 was a curbstomp for New Zealand's run-off match (9-3!)

 

[Takhisis]

In, in, in! Srbija rules, f*cker!

Post containing details to be included shortly.

Actually, it should be Yugoslavia in a not-so-alternate future, but I don't think the hostess will allow it.

 

[Omega124]

In, in, in! Srbija rules, f*cker!

Post containing details to be included shortly.

Actually, it should be Yugoslavia in a not-so-alternate future, but I don't think the hostess will allow it.

1. OK. Get in in promtly please

2. Correct. Political situation is the same as it is in 2015.

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Right, it's been thirty minutes past the deadline and two players (Red and Masada) still have yet to post their information. Their reserves are therefore considered null and void. They are still welcome to join until I have a definitive npc list, but anyone can join as USA or Iran.

 

[Takhisis]

So, introducing the Srbija national football team…

Фудбалска репрезентација Србије/Fudbalska reprezentacija Srbije


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Team Nickname: Orlovi (Орлов&#1080, i.e. the Eagles
Team Motto: Srbija rules, f*cker! Remove kebab 'mon the Serbs!
Team Mascot: Srbijaball cheerleaders (screenshot currently unavailable)
Team Composition:

Spoiler :

GK
Vladimir Stojković / Владимир Стојковић (5th Capt.)
Predrag Rajković / Предраг Рајковић
Marko Dmitrović / Марко Дмитровић

DF
Branislav Ivanović / Бранислав Ивановић(Capt.)
Aleksandar Kolarov / Александар Коларов (Vice-Capt.)
Ivan Obradović / Иван Обрадовић
Nenad Tomović / Ненад Томовић
Duško Tošić / Душко Тошић
Stefan Mitrović / Стефан Митровић
Uroš Spajić / Урош Спајић
Marko Petković / Марко Петковић

MF
Zoran Tošić / Зоран Тошић (4th Capt.)
Dušan Tadić / Душан Тадић
Nemanja Matić / Немања Матић(3rd Capt.)
Ljubomir Fejsa / Љубомир Фејса
Miralem Sulejmani / Миралем Сулејмани
Adem Ljajić /Адем Љајић
Nemanja Gudelj / Немања Гудељ
Luka Milivojević / Лука Миливојевић
Darko Brašanac / Дарко Брашанац
Sergej Milinković-Savić / Сергеј Милинковић-Савић
Aleksandar Katai / Александар Катаи

FW
Aleksandar Mitrović / Александар Митровић
Petar Škuletić / Петар Шкулетић
(ripped it off Wikipedia from current Euro 2016 qualy squad)

Home Ground: Marakana (Маракан&#1072, a.k.a. Rajko Mitić Stadium (Стадион Рајко мити&#1115, alternate home ground: JNA Stadion

Coach: Takhisios ‘The Sardine’ Konstantinopoulopoulos (Ταχίσης „Σαρδέλα“ Κωνσταντινοπουλόπουλο&#962 (Greece)

Recent History: The sole successor of the Jugoslavija national football team, after a glorious qualification campaign to the 2010 World Cup, after ruinous results against tratiorous Catholic Croatia and Slovenija, more recent results against Albania and Makedonija still confirm that Srbija rules the Balkans like Stefan Dušan, or something.
Their latest campaigns:
Russia 2018 World Cup: Through a judicious combination of basic combat training, rival team intidimation, bribing of referees and application of green funky lasers to enemy opposing penalty-kick takers, Srbija's players have won all their home games (twice by a margin of half a goal to zero), except a home defeat which everyone insists hasn't happened, and have scraped one away victory and four draws by the tried-and-trusted tactic of fielding two goalkeepers, eight defenders and one attacking midfielder. Both goals in away matches have been scored from midfield free-kicks when rival goalkeepers were tying their shoelaces.
Other tactics have included changing the spellings of their names (which not even a Croat can read when in Cyrillic) so as to get away with a player being sent off thrice in the same match. Sadly, the employment of goal-line technology and financially stable referees, plus an unexpected dispute between the Serbian Orthodox Church and their Russian counterparts, which resulted in each proclaiming the other to be heretics, put a short end to the Eagles' Russia 2018 campaign.
UEFA Euro 2020 Campaign: Better results and tactics, were expected for the 2020 UEFA Euro campaign, which replaced the UEFA Nations League after 84 of UEFA's top executives and one janitor were found dead of machine-gun fire within the same hour. All were found by the inquest to have been tragic suicides, and newly-elected President Putin of the European Union quietly recommended, after a suitable 2.7-second period of mourning, that all these newfangled plans which had Russia inexplicably playing in the second division of this stupid new league be shelved and the pointless friendlies from before be reinstated.
Srbija managed once again to win all but one of their home matches and qualified to the repechage, in which the dreaded Bulgar hordes were awaiting. Whatever really happened on that fog-filled night is unclear; both sides claimed victory but eventually UEFA took the middle ground and decided that Macedonia's team would be allowed to play instead.
Team objectives: to eliminate all other former Yugoslavian nations' teams and Bulgaria. Turkey cannot be world champions.

With decent football, a new and excentric (to say the least) manager and Srbija is now looking forward to the chance to qualify… for the 2020 FIFA World Cup.

Ajmo, svi!

 

[Civ'ed]

several new members of the team have been picked on the fly.
Goalie:
Fat B. Astard

Striker:
Wel Instagibson

Defender:
John "Rythmic branches" Napier

Defender:
Adam "Ethics in trading journalism" Smith

Midfielder:
James "Jamesh" Bond

Striker:
David Livingstone the Presumptious

Moral support (aka midfielder):
St. Margaret