Question for dads - Am I missing something?

[JoeM]

Hey ho,

My sons first birthday is coming up, and I have a nagging feeling that perhaps I'm not making as much of fatherhood as I could be. I don't really know many dads and my own father passed away a few years back so maybe it's just a bit of coaching I need.

What does one 'do' with a 1 year old? I mess around on the floor playing hide and seek, but I get the feeling other dads buy things and do day trips or something.

So what do, or did, you guys do?

Cheers all.

 

[blackheart]

I think you're doing great. Most "other" dads sit their 1 yr olds infront of the TV.

 

[JoeM]

Cheers, but seriously. The kind of thing I mean;

A couple of weeks ago a couple came around and the father had recently taken his baby out to the swimming pool - something that had genuinely never even occured to me although I used to do the same with my dad.

 

[Mathilda]

Sorry for butting in, as a mum.
You really don't need to be buying things for a one year old.
He doesn't need things, he needs his dad's attention.
If you enjoy day trips, by all means take him to the zoo or to the beach or the park but don't do it just because you think you somehow "should".
Read books, paint, play with toy cars, have a picnic of two biscuits and a box of ribena, carry him on your shoulders to the newagent to pick up the paper... just spend time with him.

 

[spankey]

There is not much you can do with a one year old other than to love on them. Hold then, interact with them, talk with them, and have a good relationship with mom. The 1 year old birthday party is all about mom and the grandparents anyway. Let the kid mess up the cake is always fun.

Swimming and giving new experiences is a good thought. But the easiest thing that you can do to impact your child now is to read to him/her and talk with him/her.

edit--by the way Mathilda, happy late birthday. I am all of 2 days older than you.

 

[El_Machinae]

For the birthday, get a cake and take some photos with the baby wearing a birthday hat. Maybe get the obligatory photo of the baby wearing some cake too.

In general, if you're playing with your baby, you're doing okay. You can't go wrong with love. Who cares if you've never taken him swimming? Just interact with him, and you'll do fine.

edit: cross-post

 

[Kozmos]

Buy him a chemistry set!

 

[.Shane.]

I do think some dads have trouble w/ infants in that the father likes more concrete things and activities.

But, 1 year olds are awesome. At 1 he should just be learning to walk. Lots of fun to be had there. Take some videos of him as he progresses from a couple steps to full walks to little awkwards runs around the house.

Also, find some baby books w/ vivid photographs, esp. if they have people in them (or just go over a photo album w/ lots of pics of you and mom).

Do things that help w/ motor skills: play blocks, legos, trains, etc... We often play music from my iPod and dance around, pretty silly.

 

[El_Machinae]

Once the baby makes eye contact and learns to smile when happy - things get MUCH better.

 

[JoeM]

Yeah he's just started walking, which is pretty amazing.

He's also grasped being constructive; rather than just throw stuff on the floor he can 'build' those concentric rings, and puts blocks back in his walker.

He also operates the tv and dvd player..but that's another story

 

[dgfred]

Like Mathilda and others said- your time and love are the most important things for a solid foundation.

 

[El_Machinae]

The real trick is to figure out how to do work while holding him ...

Remember to use clear words, and to play whatever game he comes up with. Our foster girls are well within the mimicking stage right now, and they're just over one.

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

There is no such thing as "quality time". They will remember how much time you spent with them, and how much you were doing things you both liked, rather than whether it was some great significant thing.

For example, my 16-month old nephew absolutely loves being with his daddy. All that my brother-in-law does to deserve such attention is hold him, or throw him around and play with him. In my experience, babies can be fun to play with and they like doing things that you find fun, and best of all it actually helps their development too.

 

[Riesstiu IV]

Make the little leech get a job at the local shoe factory and teach him proper Victorian manners.

 

[Raisin Bran]

Any kind of attention is all a kid needs.

I had troubles interacting with my kid at first but then I realised that I only needed to be with him and make him laugh with silly faces.

At age 1 they are not that ''interactive'' but its only going to get better and better as he grows older.

The thing my kid liked the best was to throw all his toys around, so I threw them with him and it made him laugh.

just spend time with your kid. No need to have a absolute interaction always, just be there when He needs.

From what I heard kids start to really play with others around age 3, before that they are in their ''bubble'' more than anything.

The simple fact that you want to interact with your kid and want to be more present shows me that this kid will have a great dad

 

[CaptainF]

I just can't resist pointing out that when I was 1 year old, I kicked my father in the nuts.

I imagine he felt pretty bad, physically and metaphorically.

 

[Atlas14]

Spend time with him burning ants with a magnifying glass. He'll learn good hand-eye coordination in a fun way that doesn't involve his little mini legs to work at all. If that doesn't work take him to a local pond or lake and point out frogs and wildlife to him. Little kids love that stuff, and its should be enjoyable for you too.

 

[.Shane.]

I just can't resist pointing out that when I was 1 year old, I kicked my father in the nuts.

lol, you're overestimating yourself.

It happens to me on an almost daily basis when playing w/ my kids.

 

[Raisin Bran]

lol, you're overestimating yourself.

It happens to me on an almost daily basis when playing w/ my kids.

My kid now likes to come in our bed when he wakes-up, its all ok but I get woken-up with a kick in the nuts half the time.

 

[CaptainF]

lol, you're overestimating yourself.

It happens to me on an almost daily basis when playing w/ my kids.

Yeah, but I did it to my dad RIGHT after he got a vasectomy.

I had a great sense of timing, no?