Random Rants LXVIII: Burn it all to the ground and start over!

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I don't like phone calls but it's mostly because I don't like verbally talking and I have trouble differentiating between voices and other noises. That by itself isn't that big of a deal but the quality of sound from a phone is atrocious. An already garbled voice is essentially indecipherable for me.
 
Well, now my rant is that I wish I had not pressed enter.
Here, or your message to her?

Part of your message to her was fine. But it does seem as though you're jumping directly from an acquaintance you'd like to know better all the way to the bedroom. It's too far, too fast, and it wouldn't surprise me if she ignores this message.

Mind you, I can't speak for her. Things may work out as you want, but some patience would probably help.

I don't like phone calls but it's mostly because I don't like verbally talking and I have trouble differentiating between voices and other noises. That by itself isn't that big of a deal but the quality of sound from a phone is atrocious. An already garbled voice is essentially indecipherable for me.
Don't you just love those telemarketing and scam calls from India, when the caller pretends to have a regular Canadian name, but it's obvious that they're in a call center on the other side of the world?
 
She replied that she can't wait to see the progress on the house and is definitely looking forward to working with us again, but completely ignored the rest of my message.
That's 100% the information you need. The followup reply (from your next post) is you being in your head and extending it to her.
 
Yes, Hygro, but that's not the latest message sent. :undecide:
 
The part in the parens, mon ami
 
French and mangled Latin and English in only one post! I coudl hug you!

Back to discussion of MagisterCultuum's love life and private affairs: what's done is done, that's what I meant. Maybe he should focus on damage control.
 
Back to discussion of MagisterCultuum's love life and private affairs: what's done is done, that's what I meant. Maybe he should focus on damage control.

Damage control is vastly over rated. I'm a firm believer in just putting the wreckage in your wake and moving on.
 
In this case probably especially. There's a big difference in expressing yourself and expressing your "about me" page, and when you try to fix problems arising from dumping your "about me" on someone, it usually ends up digging the hole deeper.
 
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Don't you just love those telemarketing and scam calls from India, when the caller pretends to have a regular Canadian name, but it's obvious that they're in a call center on the other side of the world?
My Aunt once got a call from someone claiming to be from the I.R.S. :mischief: Not exactly the smartest scammer there...
 
Maybe he should focus on damage control.

Don't think there's too much "damage" here.
If she really says no, well...whatever. They sometimes work together, so that's not too bad.
And from my personal experience, if these things happen online/via phone text, then they normally don't transition badly into RL (more like getting ignored).
So I'd not worry too much.
 
It might just be that somebody asking you for money really is the IRS. Just sayin'.
Damage control is vastly over rated. I'm a firm believer in just putting the wreckage in your wake and moving on.
In this case probably especially.
In this situation, maybe.
 
Here, or your message to her?

Part of your message to her was fine. But it does seem as though you're jumping directly from an acquaintance you'd like to know better all the way to the bedroom. It's too far, too fast, and it wouldn't surprise me if she ignores this message.

Mind you, I can't speak for her. Things may work out as you want, but some patience would probably help.

Spoiler what I wrote before recieving her reply :

I mean pressing enter to send it to her before seeing your feedback.

I don't think that the "Was I too subtle with that last line..." part would be interpreted as an insult to her intelligence, as I really was more subtle in our chat than on this site. What I had said was: "I'm sure it would be more impressive if you waited to check the progress next weekend. Of course, if your interest is in seeing me personally, then this Saturday works great."


I see now that the term potential lover was an obvious mistake. I did not mean it to imply any rush to the bedroom. I'd mostly value her as conversationalist and possible confidante.


It guess it feels like more than a casual acquaintance from volunteer work as we had an unusually in depth conversation over lunch the first day we met.

There was a little mutual flirting in the morning, but she seemed to get more interested at lunch when I helped her explain her mitochondrial research to some other volunteers who did not recall their middle school level science.

She seemed more impressed when she learned I knew Latin, and had attended the Governor's Honors Program for it. (A co-worker brought up what I told him on our carpool there, about my sister's girlfriend suggesting I apply for an open entry level Latin instructor position at his school.) She said she found Latin to be useful not only as a language of science but as a language of romance, and always found the sound of the tongue highly erotic.

Another women there was the mother of some kids who are Latin nerds at the high school that my first love attended, so I revealed that my real passion for the language had begun when I learned that it was the favorite subject of my first love. When the guy who brought up the job suggested I should try to get back with that woman, she seemed pleased when I said it was not an option because she was happily married, lives in another state, and just had her second kid.

She also seemed very empathetic when I talked about having to support my father through chemotherapy and an even rougher Prednisone withdrawal, and couldn't really leave the house to do anything but errands for him for the first couple years.

Most of the volunteers left after lunch so the two of us chatted for most of the next 3 hours as we worked side by side.


The next weekend I noticed she dressed a lot nicer and wore makeup. I wondered if that might have been to impress me, or if that is normal for her; she might have skipped it the week before because it was so hot she knew she'd sweat too much. I was busy supervising a larger group, so most of our direct interaction was while I gave her one on one instruction in using a ramset nail gun and the sonicrafter oscillating tool. Those are two of the most fun tools to use but are too loud to allow any decent conversation.

She accepted by Facebook friend request within hours of me sending it two days after we met. I sent the first message after the first Saturday in April that she did not come, saying we missed her on site as that weekend's workers were so much less effective. She said she missed us guys too and would like to come back, but had a qualifying exam that Saturday and would be busy with the March for Science the next. Our next contact was when I asked her how the march for science went. That time she asked about how I got to know so much about construction, and after mentioning how I got to know and work closely with the other regular volunteers she said it was awesome that we were like a family just like her lab partners (hence the reference to a "work family.")


Edit: Ok, most of the concerns have now been rendered moot. Just as I was about to submit this post, I received her reply:

"Oops, I didn't realize you were asking me out on a date! Unfortunately I'm already in a relationship- we've been dating for three years now, met while we were in undergrad. I would definitely love to have you as my friend, though! I don't have many friends outside of Emory, and I've been looking for people to hang out with who are non-biochemists (we can be a bit curmudgeonly). Definitely would love to hang out- these next two weekends are a little crazy with my sister's graduation and me volunteering with Sweetwater Creek, but as soon as June comes in I'll be more free let me know!"
 
Friendzoned! Well, at least you gained a friend. Apologise (in person, tone helps rather than cold words on a screen) in case you sounded too rude, when you next see her.
 
My Aunt once got a call from someone claiming to be from the I.R.S. :mischief: Not exactly the smartest scammer there...

Like those scammers with thick Asian accents trying to tell me that I have a problem with my computer when it's not even on and I'm on my own at home.
 
It might just be that somebody asking you for money really is the IRS. Just sayin'.
Not here. The way the scam goes is that someone pretending to be from CRA (Canada Revenue Agency) phones someone and says the person owes money. They're told if they don't pay ASAP (with gift cards, wiring money, etc.), the police will be coming to arrest them within the hour. The people targeted for these tend to be seniors and refugees/immigrants, as these people tend to be easier to intimidate. It's gotten to the point where some places that sell gift cards have warning signs posted to beware of scams. The government is absolutely NOT going to demand that people pay their income tax with gift cards.

The versions directed my way involved scam emails and phone calls from someone with a nearly indecipherable East Indian accent, claiming to be somebody with a common English name (uh-huh...), and saying there's a problem with my tax return. I'm directed to call a phone number to deal with it.

What I learned from this is that it's not safe to give CRA your email address because I never got any of these scam emails or calls before CRA got hold of it. Their security is just pathetic, so I called and told them to remove my email address from their system and the online account that had been created. I also told them that any communication between us would either be by snailmail or by phone if I initiated the call.

Spoiler what I wrote before recieving her reply :

I mean pressing enter to send it to her before seeing your feedback.

I don't think that the "Was I too subtle with that last line..." part would be interpreted as an insult to her intelligence, as I really was more subtle in our chat than on this site. What I had said was: "I'm sure it would be more impressive if you waited to check the progress next weekend. Of course, if your interest is in seeing me personally, then this Saturday works great."


I see now that the term potential lover was an obvious mistake. I did not mean it to imply any rush to the bedroom. I'd mostly value her as conversationalist and possible confidante.


It guess it feels like more than a casual acquaintance from volunteer work as we had an unusually in depth conversation over lunch the first day we met.

There was a little mutual flirting in the morning, but she seemed to get more interested at lunch when I helped her explain her mitochondrial research to some other volunteers who did not recall their middle school level science.

She seemed more impressed when she learned I knew Latin, and had attended the Governor's Honors Program for it. (A co-worker brought up what I told him on our carpool there, about my sister's girlfriend suggesting I apply for an open entry level Latin instructor position at his school.) She said she found Latin to be useful not only as a language of science but as a language of romance, and always found the sound of the tongue highly erotic.

Another women there was the mother of some kids who are Latin nerds at the high school that my first love attended, so I revealed that my real passion for the language had begun when I learned that it was the favorite subject of my first love. When the guy who brought up the job suggested I should try to get back with that woman, she seemed pleased when I said it was not an option because she was happily married, lives in another state, and just had her second kid.

She also seemed very empathetic when I talked about having to support my father through chemotherapy and an even rougher Prednisone withdrawal, and couldn't really leave the house to do anything but errands for him for the first couple years.

Most of the volunteers left after lunch so the two of us chatted for most of the next 3 hours as we worked side by side.


The next weekend I noticed she dressed a lot nicer and wore makeup. I wondered if that might have been to impress me, or if that is normal for her; she might have skipped it the week before because it was so hot she knew she'd sweat too much. I was busy supervising a larger group, so most of our direct interaction was while I gave her one on one instruction in using a ramset nail gun and the sonicrafter oscillating tool. Those are two of the most fun tools to use but are too loud to allow any decent conversation.

She accepted by Facebook friend request within hours of me sending it two days after we met. I sent the first message after the first Saturday in April that she did not come, saying we missed her on site as that weekend's workers were so much less effective. She said she missed us guys too and would like to come back, but had a qualifying exam that Saturday and would be busy with the March for Science the next. Our next contact was when I asked her how the march for science went. That time she asked about how I got to know so much about construction, and after mentioning how I got to know and work closely with the other regular volunteers she said it was awesome that we were like a family just like her lab partners (hence the reference to a "work family.")


Edit: Ok, most of the concerns have now been rendered moot. Just as I was about to submit this post, I received her reply:

"Oops, I didn't realize you were asking me out on a date! Unfortunately I'm already in a relationship- we've been dating for three years now, met while we were in undergrad. I would definitely love to have you as my friend, though! I don't have many friends outside of Emory, and I've been looking for people to hang out with who are non-biochemists (we can be a bit curmudgeonly). Definitely would love to hang out- these next two weekends are a little crazy with my sister's graduation and me volunteering with Sweetwater Creek, but as soon as June comes in I'll be more free let me know!"
Well, it sounds like things worked out after all, although not quite as you wanted. A new friend is always good.

I never had a chance to learn Latin in school. I'm trying to learn, though. There's a Latin/English forum I belong to, and if memory serves, there's an area on the Roman history forum I belong to where people post in Latin.

Like those scammers with thick Asian accents trying to tell me that I have a problem with my computer when it's not even on and I'm on my own at home.
I had that once. I told them I don't have a computer anymore, so it was pointless for them to fix it.
 
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"Oops, I didn't realize you were asking me out on a date! Unfortunately I'm already in a relationship- we've been dating for three years now, met while we were in undergrad. I would definitely love to have you as my friend, though! I don't have many friends outside of Emory, and I've been looking for people to hang out with who are non-biochemists (we can be a bit curmudgeonly). Definitely would love to hang out- these next two weekends are a little crazy with my sister's graduation and me volunteering with Sweetwater Creek, but as soon as June comes in I'll be more free let me know!"
Top outcome.
 
It might just be that somebody asking you for money really is the IRS. Just sayin'.


The IRS uses the mail. They do not call. That said, Trump is pres now, so they sometimes hire collection agencies. And so there are no more rules.
 
"Oops, I didn't realize you were asking me out on a date! Unfortunately I'm already in a relationship- we've been dating for three years now, met while we were in undergrad. I would definitely love to have you as my friend, though! I don't have many friends outside of Emory, and I've been looking for people to hang out with who are non-biochemists (we can be a bit curmudgeonly). Definitely would love to hang out- these next two weekends are a little crazy with my sister's graduation and me volunteering with Sweetwater Creek, but as soon as June comes in I'll be more free let me know!"

You're not taking this at face value, right?

been doing that for over a year

Stop doing that.
 
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