warpus
Sommerswerd asked me to change this
I gave my first speech at work in a long time today at our director's retirement party.
Other staff asked me to speak on their behalf.. for various reasons.. There was a long running gag that the director would do.. At almost every work event or function he would at some point say "And now warpus will say a couple words".. or some other coworker.. but he loved picking on me for this! Then obviously we'd all laugh and move on and no speech was ever said.
Last year at a goodbye party for another senior leader from our unit, the director called me up for a speech.. and people likely thought "oh I know this gag". But nope, I went up to the front with like 20 pages in my hand, and started leafing through them. Comedic timing, etc. Then the director announced that it was all a gag.
So now we played a gag on him.. Sort of.. by having me say an actual speech. I made my speech about the fact that I will not be doing a speech, because over the years I was always stopped from being able to say my speech.. "and he always played it off as a joke, but we both know that he was actually afraid that my legendary public speaking skills would outshine his. And that is something I can't do to {name}"
Then I went on about how I can't stand there and talk about his many accomplishments or how good of a leader he was yadda yadda, you get the jist of it, up until the end, when I said something like: "And I will not say ANY of that.. but I will say one thing.. something written for me for this occasion by an AI Bot:" {insert genuinely heartfelt paragraph about the director's legacy and retirement}.. Then instructed everyone to join me and the AI bot in giving the director a round of applause.
I'm glad this speech thing is finally over.. and so is the workweek.. until early January.. I hate public speaking. I want to get better at it, so I'm glad I did this, but it feels amazing that I no longer have to think about it
I got mad props for how good the speech was, but honestly.. I feel the way I wrote it gets at least a 9/10.. but my execution was more like a 7/10.. It was alright, but I can improve. Either way though, a lot of people liked it, it was well received by everyone incl. the director, and it was nice to actually say something about his legacy, as he's been my boss for a long time now.. It was also great to finally wrap up that whole gag like that.
Other staff asked me to speak on their behalf.. for various reasons.. There was a long running gag that the director would do.. At almost every work event or function he would at some point say "And now warpus will say a couple words".. or some other coworker.. but he loved picking on me for this! Then obviously we'd all laugh and move on and no speech was ever said.
Last year at a goodbye party for another senior leader from our unit, the director called me up for a speech.. and people likely thought "oh I know this gag". But nope, I went up to the front with like 20 pages in my hand, and started leafing through them. Comedic timing, etc. Then the director announced that it was all a gag.
So now we played a gag on him.. Sort of.. by having me say an actual speech. I made my speech about the fact that I will not be doing a speech, because over the years I was always stopped from being able to say my speech.. "and he always played it off as a joke, but we both know that he was actually afraid that my legendary public speaking skills would outshine his. And that is something I can't do to {name}"
Then I went on about how I can't stand there and talk about his many accomplishments or how good of a leader he was yadda yadda, you get the jist of it, up until the end, when I said something like: "And I will not say ANY of that.. but I will say one thing.. something written for me for this occasion by an AI Bot:" {insert genuinely heartfelt paragraph about the director's legacy and retirement}.. Then instructed everyone to join me and the AI bot in giving the director a round of applause.
I'm glad this speech thing is finally over.. and so is the workweek.. until early January.. I hate public speaking. I want to get better at it, so I'm glad I did this, but it feels amazing that I no longer have to think about it
I got mad props for how good the speech was, but honestly.. I feel the way I wrote it gets at least a 9/10.. but my execution was more like a 7/10.. It was alright, but I can improve. Either way though, a lot of people liked it, it was well received by everyone incl. the director, and it was nice to actually say something about his legacy, as he's been my boss for a long time now.. It was also great to finally wrap up that whole gag like that.