1. We have added a Gift Upgrades feature that allows you to gift an account upgrade to another member, just in time for the holiday season. You can see the gift option when going to the Account Upgrades screen, or on any user profile screen.
    Dismiss Notice

Random Raves XLV: You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by aimeeandbeatles, Feb 11, 2019.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Takhisis

    Takhisis is it fall yet

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2005
    Messages:
    43,723
    Location:
    up yours!
    Well, you can always say that you have a date every single day, e.g. today's date is the 16th of May, yesterday's is the 15th, and so on.

    But what's this about Lemon having a black eye and puffy lips?

    Edit: you're cheating on us with another forum?
     
    Last edited: May 16, 2019
    Birdjaguar likes this.
  2. Lemon Merchant

    Lemon Merchant Professional Killjoy Moderator

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2008
    Messages:
    7,206
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Red Sector A
    Here is what happened:

    See the first 10 seconds of this video for a demonstration of what I did:

     
    Bootstoots, Narz, haroon and 6 others like this.
  3. Takhisis

    Takhisis is it fall yet

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2005
    Messages:
    43,723
    Location:
    up yours!
    Oh… well, you won the confrontation, but it's still an awful experience.

    And +1 points for use of imagery.
     
    Narz and cardgame like this.
  4. Birdjaguar

    Birdjaguar Entangled Retired Moderator Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 24, 2001
    Messages:
    35,118
    Location:
    Albuquerque, NM
    :woohoo: to our own superhero! I'm glad you are recovering. go for a date now that you have a great story to go with it.
     
    The_J and hobbsyoyo like this.
  5. Lemon Merchant

    Lemon Merchant Professional Killjoy Moderator

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2008
    Messages:
    7,206
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Red Sector A
    Awww shucks.
     
  6. Takhisis

    Takhisis is it fall yet

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2005
    Messages:
    43,723
    Location:
    up yours!
    Just in case you should secure a copy of the dashcam recording. Even if you don't need it at a court it'll be good for a laugh in a few years' time.

    Edit: especially if you add in Street Fighter sounds i.e. Shoryūken and Hadōken!
     
    Last edited: May 16, 2019
    The_J, cardgame and Birdjaguar like this.
  7. Lemon Merchant

    Lemon Merchant Professional Killjoy Moderator

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2008
    Messages:
    7,206
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Red Sector A
    That would be funny, actually.
     
    The_J, cardgame and Birdjaguar like this.
  8. old_andy

    old_andy Chieftain

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2009
    Messages:
    46
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    southern Sweden
    echoing the sentiments already stated; I'm really glad to hear you're recovering.
    And responding in self defense, with a measured response, with video footage to back you up, not to mention a (potential lethal) traffic violation on his part -getting T-boned by a Dodge RAM (or whatever) while in a Nissan is no laughing matter,
    ..the lawyer's right,you can't lose.

    also..
    - drives a 370z *check*
    - retains composure and presence of mind during conflict *check and check*
    - can effectively execute a reverse roundhouse kick to the melon *check-a-roonie*

    I dunno where "Red Sector A" is (I'm thinking Michigan for some reason) but I'm seriously considering moving there now. Pretty sure the local cro-magnon population is gonna steer clear of you from now on(*).

    You, m'lady.. are a legit badass. :hatsoff:

    and, just because I can't resist [channels inner New York Jewish mother]
    Oh my gawd.. date the lawyer already, sweetie!! He's a gentleman, kind.. and a lawyer!!!!


    I do a bit on stage where I talk about how stupid it is for men to be intimidated by badass women who are capable of taking care of themselves.. would it be okay for me to incorporate your story into my routine? pleeeeeeeaase!!


    (*)I would pay v.e.r.y. good money to see the yaa-hoo in the local poolhall (interstate roadhouse, truck stop, wateringhole, clan meeting, or where-ever the hell he hangs out) telling his cro-magnon buddies what happened.

    [cronies]
    Dayum Billy-Joe-John-Bob, you look like yous done got hit in the noggin wit' a anvil! Wha' happened?

    [our idiot redneck in question whom I've coined Billy-Joe-John-Bob in lieu of anything better]
    Ah wus mindin' mah own bees-wax at an intersection in mah brand spankin' new truck wit' th' missus when outta nowhere this city-slicker ina POS-Jap-imported-takin'-jobs-from-Muricans-zippy-di-do-daa sports thang flies past, an' nearly scratches the paint on mah truck! So o' course ah done peeled after it ta *git me sum*.. and Jimmy, git me's a beer.

    [some guy named Jimmy]
    - natch. Any red blooded Murican woulda done th' same.

    [back to the idiot]
    - Rightly so. Then ah caught up to it at the next intersection, got out to give 'em a piece o' mah mind, and maybe open up a can o' whoopass on 'em.. when out steps half a dozen of the biggest, blackest line-backer lookin' (insert racial slur) - ah thinks they played for Michigan state, no sure though, and started gettin' up all in mah face..

    [Jimmy has a brain fart]
    - How could six huge line-back lookin' fellers git outta a small Jap zippy-di-do-daa thang?

    [Idiot realizing the folly of lying]
    - Shut yer piehole, Jimmy. Ah ain't in th' mood. Anywho, ah had th' missus wit' me, and mah brand spankin' new truck, so ah couldn't take any chances wit' dem, now could ah? So ah lets 'em have it..

    [and then little ol' me, sitting in the corner, sippin' on a longneck]
    Oh gentlemen, would any of you be interested in seeing this YouTube video?
     
    Last edited: May 17, 2019
    Birdjaguar and tjs282 like this.
  9. old_andy

    old_andy Chieftain

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2009
    Messages:
    46
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    southern Sweden
    Check Humor and Jokes.. fair warning, it's probably offensive. Once I get stuff on video I'll post it there, and YT, and pretty much everywhere else on the net. :goodjob:
     
    Narz likes this.
  10. tjs282

    tjs282 Un(a)bashed immigrant

    Joined:
    May 19, 2009
    Messages:
    2,329
    Location:
    ...just here for the job/ handouts/ woman
    Though I can say with certainty, that 'he' won't be Lemon's type... ;)

    Glad you're OK, Lemon.
     
    Last edited: May 17, 2019
  11. Snerk

    Snerk Smeghead

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2006
    Messages:
    6,645
    Location:
    Norway. You'll never leave
    Very cool!

    When old_andy said he was going to be a stand up comedian they laughed. Well they're not laughing now!
     
    tjs282 and Arakhor like this.
  12. Arakhor

    Arakhor Dremora Courtier Moderator

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2009
    Messages:
    32,284
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    UK
    Well, if you want a platonic date, you can contact me. I can easily do waffling endlessly over a slow dinner and there'd be no expectations for afterwards. :)
     
  13. BenitoChavez

    BenitoChavez Whispering Walrus

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2013
    Messages:
    1,771
    Location:
    Alpha Quadrant
    You can't use martial arts to defend yourself?? That is next level stupid.
     
  14. Manfred Belheim

    Manfred Belheim Warlord

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2009
    Messages:
    7,121
    Hmm so the official advice from law enforcement is "if you've learned how to defend yourself, you should never use that knowledge to defend yourself"? Doesn't seem much point in it then. Although I suppose being alive and in prison is potentially better than being dead.

    Edit: or what he said.
     
  15. The_J

    The_J Say No 2 Net Validations Retired Moderator Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2008
    Messages:
    31,015
    Location:
    Germany / Netherlands
    This depends on the outcome. You can't beat someone into a pulp, and if a person gets knocked out, you might be in trouble.
    It's expected that you know how to deal with your abilities, and that you don't use unnecessary force.

    This seemed necessary though, and he got what he deserved.
     
  16. rah

    rah Warlord Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2005
    Messages:
    8,082
    Location:
    Chicago
    If you can legally defend yourself by killing someone with a gun, this would be a no brainer. (in some states)
     
    hobbsyoyo likes this.
  17. hobbsyoyo

    hobbsyoyo Warlord

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2012
    Messages:
    20,548
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The pale blue dot.
    The thing is she didnt beat him to a pulp and he was the aggressor at each step of the confrontation he instigated.
     
    Lexicus likes this.
  18. The_J

    The_J Say No 2 Net Validations Retired Moderator Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2008
    Messages:
    31,015
    Location:
    Germany / Netherlands
    Yeah, the cop seemed a bit fast there with the judgement.

    ...er... USA #1 :dunno:?
     
  19. rah

    rah Warlord Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2005
    Messages:
    8,082
    Location:
    Chicago
    That was not an endorsement.
     
    hobbsyoyo likes this.
  20. cardgame

    cardgame Sensual Kitten

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2009
    Messages:
    12,592
    Location:
    Southern Idaho
    update on my mixed messages rant: they are over :D
     
    The_J and hobbsyoyo like this.
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page