aimeeandbeatles
watermelon
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It's okay, We can duplicate it.
Random Thoughts 9: Attack of the Vapid Posts
- Thread starter hobbsyoyo
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*annexes Valka D'Ur's empire and enslaves her people*So even though it's a different realm and I go by a different name there, my own head canon says I outrank both of you.
aimeeandbeatles
watermelon
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Too late. I already did so. Except that her people are free.
Well your "nation" is a province of my kingdom anyway. Your people only think hers are free because comparatively you're the same class of slaves.
aimeeandbeatles
watermelon
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We just declared war on your kingdom.
You mean rebellion?
I let your people do that from time to time, it lets them feel good for a while and keeps them pacified.
I let your people do that from time to time, it lets them feel good for a while and keeps them pacified.
aimeeandbeatles
watermelon
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Look behind you!
Timsup2nothin
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Well, other than being buried under mountains of watermelons...
aimeeandbeatles
watermelon
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They're not going to starve at least.
I have slaves to do that for me.
EgonSpengler
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Huh. I thought it was a headcrab in green striped boxers.
aimeeandbeatles
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Your palace just got crushed under watermelons.
Synobun
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Of course, you realize, this means war.
I pledge myself to the cause of Aimee for Empress-Queen-Princess of CFC!
It's in a modpack.
Timsup2nothin
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That one based on GoT? Watermelons of Winter?
*Valka D'Ur, ruler of the Uridians of Funestis in one universe and Empress of Arcadia and Knumythia (having inherited the latter from her late patroness and mentor, Dragonlady) in the Dragonloft Realms, calls on all friends and allies to rally to the conflict that has broken out in the realm of CFCOT.
"GL," she says to the Lord of the Green Realms and Keeper of the Birthdays, "are the magical defenses ready?" Upon hearing confirmation, she turns to the rest and one by one they confirm their battle-readiness. Violet of the Fuzzy Knights nods grimly, hefting her wifflebat while Mossfoot prepares a set of maps, and Ben rattles his favorite d20. Even the Puppies and Kittens stand ready, tails and whiskers and ears signalling their eagerness to engage their opponent. The inhabitants of the Silo assure their Empress that the ammunition is ready. They have never heard of this new enemy or new ally, and are eager to find out what they are made of.
The battle is engaged, with dragons darkening the skies of MaryKB's lands. They and their allies have conferred with Queen/Princess/Empress Aimee (they're not quite sure what her title is, they only know that she is a welcome ally and stalwart defender with some interesting innovations and tactics). The magic-wielders prepare the ammunition, and prepare to hurl it from dragonback.
MaryKB's people never knew what hit them.
~ a little time passes while the battle ensues~
Well, they do realize it later, and then begin arguing amongst themselves as to whether the weapon should be declared a miraculous new invention or an abomination to be banned from existence.
MaryKB herself surveys the mess the battle has made. Her realm is literally a mess of pulped watermelon, seeds, graham wafer crust, and whipped cream. Nothing has been spared, and she stares dismally at her reflection in the mirror. It will take a week to get the watermelon cream pie out of her hair.
"Pardon me, my Lady," a gentle male voice came from behind. "I can clean that for you."
"You can?" Mary asks. The man is dressed all in green, and accompanied by the leaders of the various Dragonloft realms.
"Oh yes, he's good at that," a small green teddy bear dressed in a leather jacket says, nodding his head. "He does it every time we have a pie fight."
"But you have to promise that you won't attack us or our allies again," an identical-sized purple teddy bear warns. "We have our fights, but we don't take each other over."
"Well, there is KTAATS," the black and white cat mumbles. At a nudge from the bunny who is still obsessively rattling his d20 in one paw, the cat amends, "But that's only against real enemies. Never each other. We don't take over our neighbors. There's room enough for everyone."
"In the meantime," GL says, looking around, "as a show of good faith, allow me to restore a part of your realm." He makes a gesture, and a blue-clad man standing nearby who is staring in befuddlement at a plate of cookies covered in watermelon cream pie and thoroughly covered in the mess himself, suddenly finds both his snack and clothing restored to their former state. He looks uncertainly at Mary and takes a bite of chocolate chip cookie.
"Well," Valka says, "do we have the beginnings of a peace agreement? We await your decision."*
Oh please, between this and the ‘South Park cultural legacy’ thread you've made the ‘Wiener, wiener, wiener’ song get stuck in my mind.
Timsup2nothin
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I don't think I even posted in that thread. Now, if you want to blame me for the Minions' banana song, I can't avoid responsibility there.
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