RB18: Romanus eunt domus!

[mostly-harmless]

I second the motion by brother .Imhotep but move a motion that we should first form a committee to explore the various options we have in voting whether to form a committee to discuss the starting moves.

Here is how I see our decision making process:

We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune, we take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week . But all the decision of that officer must be approved at a bi-weekly meeting by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs....


But maybe that is for another RB-SG in the far future.

And now for something completely different...

Since Rex's post did not count as a start of the game, I am happy to report that I brought us to the fourth page of posts before anything important happened

 

[Rex Tyrannus]

And verily, doth yonder Wise Men of Orient they
Travel forth unto Bethlehem.
Having followed the star that spaketh from Our Lord:
"Follow, Kings ye wise men three"

Mr. Big Nose: Four!

"Follow, Kings ye wise men three four,
to a manger and welcome My Son
unto this Earth."

And they continued, these wise men,
knowing not what awaited them.
Not fearing the ravenous beast of nine blades.
Not seven, not eight, but nine fearful blades.
But they feared not.

For blessed is this night. Oh holy night.
The stars so brightly shining.
It is the night of the dear Savior's birth!

But no room there was at the Inn
For Wise Men bearing gifts of the East.
In the Manger could they lay they burders
But alas, two of these men were alergic to pig droppings
And they left.

And sought shelter in a nearby house, hearing a baby cry from a window...

Thus, having met their Lord Brian, our wise men decide to raze Bethlehem to the ground and found a new city in His name.



Well, not exactly His name, but the point's all the same, right? Whereupon they immediately sold their Gold, Frankensence, and Myrh for three magic beans and eight beakers per turn. Thus was set the path to Righteousness, and an end to Roman occupation.



Note: I didn't actually leave the tech path in place. I decided to go Myst=>Poly=>Masonry=>Mono. With all these non-spiritual civs, we can probably land Hinduism on the way to Judaism. I didn't know if that were Kosher though, having misplaced my laws of Kashrut pocket guide. We can switch to Masronry first, if we don't want a second religion.

And I shall give you a land of plenty
With Beavers innumerable and without end
But narry a Hut may you pop.
Thus begins Our Covenant

I suppose barbs can't pop huts so we can't either.

And I shall give you allies against the Romans
Wolves, Sheep, Lions, and Bears
shall rise to the aide of My Children

If anyone cares, it's 3790 when barbs first appear in epic/prince.

Cast asside your Heathen Mystics
For The Shoe shall show you the way

3610: Myst=>Poly

For in following The Path
Your enemies, oh Lord, shall see the folly of their ways
They shall beat clubs into hammers
They shall make war never-more

3280 Sweet deal. Gladly accepted. Unfortunately, no one else will make peace until we bloody them. Save attached. I accidentally played one turn too many. Sorry.

 

[Dreylin]

Rabbi: 'Ere, one of those Wise Men is a Woman!

Wise Man #4: No I'm not!

Rabbi: That's a false beard isn't it?

Wise Man #4: No it isn't!

So now we debate whether Rex's moves were adequate, and vote for who's up next, right?

 

[Rex Tyrannus]

Vote? Those turns were good enough for Jehova!

[stone] not to be confused with , that's the hippy game.

 

[mostly-harmless]

Blessed are the cheesemakers!
Got it.

 

[Rex Tyrannus]

Blessed are the cheesemakers!
Got it.

Can't bless the cheesemakers when we haven't got any bloody cows, no can we? Pholk, why do we only have one beaver? Or is that the Dread Beaver of Aaaarrrrggghhh? Run away!

@Pholk, upon re-reading the first page, I noticed that you completely ignored Xtreme Rockstar. F--k off. You let like 17 people in after him, but never gave the guy--or girl, Reg--a chance. What have you got against Xtreme Rockstar???

Is it because I'm a woman, Reg? Because I want to have babies? Why can't I be Loretta and not Stan?

Edit: 66 posts. 63 Spam. Gentlemen--or Ladies--we have the opportunitiy to do something special. Let's figure: Four pages for every turnset. 10 turns per set average. 660 turns in a game. 66 sets. 264 pages! Let's make RB proud of this one!

 

[mostly-harmless]

So on topic:
The term spam is derived from the Monty Python SPAM sketch, set in a cafe where everything on the menu includes SPAM luncheon meat.


And here goes:

(Spam = Spiced Pork And Ham, a sort of cheap luncheon meat)

Scene: A cafe. One table is occupied by a group of Vikings with horned
helmets on. A man and his wife enter.

Man (Eric Idle): You sit here, dear.
Wife (Graham Chapman in drag): All right.
Man (to Waitress): Morning!
Waitress (Terry Jones, in drag as a bit of a rat-bag): Morning!
Man: Well, what've you got?
Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam;
egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage
and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam
bacon spam tomato and spam;
Vikings (starting to chant): Spam spam spam spam...
Waitress: ...spam spam spam egg and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam baked
beans spam spam spam...
Vikings (singing): Spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam!
Waitress: ...or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a
Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with
truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.
Wife: Have you got anything without spam?
Waitress: Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in
it.
Wife: I don't want ANY spam!
Man: Why can't she have egg bacon spam and sausage?
Wife: THAT'S got spam in it!
Man: Hasn't got as much spam in it as spam egg sausage and spam, has it?
Vikings: Spam spam spam spam (crescendo through next few lines)
Wife: Could you do the egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam then?
Waitress: Urgghh!
Wife: What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like spam!
Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!)
Waitress: Shut up!
Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress: Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You can't have egg bacon
spam and sausage without the spam.
Wife (shrieks): I don't like spam!
Man: Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your spam. I love it.
I'm having spam spam spam spam spam spam spam beaked beans spam spam
spam and spam!
Vikings (singing): Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress: Shut up!! Baked beans are off.
Man: Well could I have her spam instead of the baked beans then?
Waitress: You mean spam spam spam spam spam spam... (but it is too late and
the Vikings drown her words)
Vikings (singing elaborately): Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful
spam! Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam. Lovely spam!
Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Spam spam
spam spam!

 

[pholkhero]

@Pholk, upon re-reading the first page, I noticed that you completely ignored Xtreme Rockstar. F--k off.

I'm sorry! Xtreme, if you would still like to be in, you can have my spot and i'll alternate ~ how's that for fair?? lmk

 

[mostly-harmless]

Ahh cripes! I don't give a rat's ass which one you play!

And that would be the ass of the rather fat rat ...


Back to topic.
I will be able to play tonight. How many turns? 25 IIRC?

 

[mostly-harmless]

I'm sorry! Xtreme, if you would still like to be in, you can have my spot and i'll alternate ~ how's that for fair?? lmk

No Splitters, Pholk!
But I am happy to welcome yet another follower of the Popular Front!
Welcome Xtreme.

 

[Rex Tyrannus]

No Splitters, Pholk!
But I am happy to welcome yet another follower of the Popular Front!
Welcome Xtreme.

Awwwww

Sit on my face, and tell me that you love me....

 

[mostly-harmless]

Brothers! ...and sisters! The following topic needs your immediate attention.



Taking over the burden of leadership from brother, ...or sister, Rex, who cannot shoulder it any longer because of his bad back, I had to notice the scoring board.

Apart from the sad, sad fact that the writers of history and scores do not acknowledge our righteous struggle against the Roman oppression, I noticed, that we are at war with all the other splitters, which fills my PFJ heart with joy, but forces me to point out, that, as with all things in life brothers, ... and sisters, this situation has two sides, which I will try to shed some light on in the next sentence, as the length of this one might cause confusion within the ranks of our not so literate brothers, and sisters.
(For the record: No offense meant.)
Here it is:
Naturally we are at very negative relations with everybody already. -3 for splitting up plus an addtional -8 for forcefully, if only virtually at the moment, but a sub-comitee is already working on changing that situation, trying to reunite and welcome back our brothers, ...and sister, which wandered astray.
Take Capac as an example.
Brother Rex in his long lasting period of leadership decided to lay down the, admittedly still very theoretical weapons we are fighting with.
I suppose that decision is helping diplomacy in the far future, but it also leads to the situation, that no trained ferocious wolves, lions or beavers can be sent out to harrass their followers as they wander around the lands.
Also the use of future black suicide squads, and I am revealing this part of the plan to you brothers, ...and sisters, under the strict rule of a non-disclosure agreement and only because we need to discuss the potential impact of our today's action on the future, will be hindered doing their job attacking settlements of splitters.
I will therefore put forward a vote whether or not to stay in war with the splitters as long as our black suicide squads are able to attack efficiently.
Is there anyone to second that motion?

 

[Dreylin]

Well, in the opinion of this minority of the majority; the answer to the esteemed delegate's question is yes ... and no. Ergo, and furthermore, while the question of maintaining our conflict in spirit is clearly not in question, I believe we have to bow to the demands of prudence when choosing to reveal our enmity to our enemy. While some - the hated Romans and the SPLITTERS! - must be beaten and subdued forthwith, it befits our ultimate goal to supress (for now) our desires and instead conceal behind a false mask of friendship our unending thirst for their destruction.

In Summary; Sure, why not.

 

[Rex Tyrannus]

While in theory, I'll agree that the principle of my esteemed collegue's motion is not entirely without merit, I would alsolike to bring to the floor my secondary motion that all people--except Romans and Splitters--are entitled to the right to wear parasols as part of their standard daily attire.

That said, I offer my counter to the commitee's request to hear arguments for peaceful relations with future splitters.

Postulate 1: Splitters have already proven their stupidity by splitting in the first-place and will henceforth be counted on to settle no differently whether barbarians and PFJ elements are present or otherwise.

Postulate 2: At current, our allies are limited to Lions, Bears, Panthers, and very angry Beavers. Any harrasment, it must be noted, can only occur in my estimed colleague's rather active imagination.

Postulate 3: The parasol is a rather useful device, able to fight off oppressive heat, rain, wind, or squirrels.

Postulate 4: At such time as our barbarian-non-splitters walk upright (and we can see if we can teach them to weild bronze axes much earlier than typically specified), war is disadvantageous, except against Romans and Splitters.

QED

 

[·Imhotep·]

Honorable Assembly of the People's Front of Judea !

My fellow brothers and sisters have pointed out very interesting and true questions and facts, and those were words that have gone to the heart of every true Judean ! (for the record: the term "every true Judean" has been checked and approved by the Gender Mainstreaming sub-commitee of the People's Front of Judea, the report given by those worthy brothers and sisters states that it can be read as appealing and according to both genders)

As for the building of the PJF Headquarters I must say that this is indeed a lovely place to dwell in: It got woods for making crosses, rivers for drowning and hills for stoning our foes ! Death to all SPLITTERS ! (for the record: form a sub-commitee developing and discussing a plan to kill the map designer if it turns out there ain't no strategic resources at hand)

The spirit of the People's Front of Judea lies in peace with all but the heathen Romans and those damn SPLITTERS ! Death to all SPLITTERS ! (for the records: form a sub-commitee and send it to the Romans to learn all about the . And bring some with you, to defend your foe means to know your foe.)

My beloved brothers and sisters ! It may be good to sing Kumbah-ya with all those other inhabitants of the world we are set in by God the Almighty, and it might not. Let's give our fellow Barbarians some Axes and let's see how they decide the matter. (for the record: save some wood for those caskets)

Brother ·Imhotep· (for the record: those dots can be made typing ALT+0183 on the wooden board with those carved-in characters)

 

[pholkhero]

[ooc: WHOA!! TRY DIFFERENT NUMBER COMBOS!!]

-Where was I??

-I think you finished.

 

[Rex Tyrannus]

For some reason, LT, your parlimentary procedure seems less funny knowing you're a lawyer and that you probably speak that way normally.

And PS, this is the Ministry of Undersized Undergarmets. The Minsitry of Outrageous Keystrokes is three doors down.

And PPS, how many German's have we got in here anyway? 9 out of 10 Helgas agree: rash cream is for sissies.

 

[·Imhotep·]

@Rex:

Law System must be really different in the US. The way lawyers talk 'round here is as funny as pimples all over your face when you meet the woman of your dreams and desires. Ah well, I've heard that law school in the state is more about rhethorics than actually material law...

Besides, my undergarments are not undersized. I'm not you - buying an XXL and still get those tensions around the crotch is surely scary...

 

[pholkhero]

For some reason, LT, your parlimentary procedure seems less funny knowing you're a lawyer and that you probably speak that way normally.

And PS, this is the Ministry of Undersized Undergarmets. The Minsitry of Outrageous Keystrokes is three doors down.

Yes, i could see him saying all this auf Deutsch, walking down the Strasse, humming the tune to "Mein Hut, er hat drei ecken" ... in fact, i thiink in german, his post is all one word [edit: i guess this is only funny if you know any german]

Having carefully considered the arguement from all sides, i propse a rediscussion about the formulation of an exploratory committee to discuss teh viability and long-term implications both for and against making peace with our near-by meatbags.

[ooc: make peace until they turn jewish ~ then its automatic war on them?? this way, perhaps all our barb activity will be focused on Rome (the initial situation which caused the birth of this game from RBe4)]

edit:

9 out of 10 Helgas agree: rash cream is for sissies.

Isn't that a kids in the hall reference

 

[mostly-harmless]

And PPS, how many German's have we got in here anyway?

Since we are playing Fred ,aehm, Reg, there can never be enough Germans in the roster. On the other side, some members of this commitee might be distracted by the upcoming worldcup.

... in fact, i thiink in german, his post is all one word [edit: i guess this is only funny if you know any german]

Well I will go for the one word variant in my next term/turnset report. For the moment I restrained myself. However, the lenght of the odd sentence might give me away.