Resentment

[Narz]

Surely one of the worst human emotions.

1. A signaling of one's impotence (it you could dissipate this vile emotion with appropriate action you would but you can't, hence resentment)

2. A seething, corroding emotion more likely to damage oneself and those around you than cure what is it you're resenting

3. Makes one prone to manipulation

Weak emotions like resentment attract predators, of course in the mind of the resentful it will attract a strong leader who can better articulate their feelings and hopes for change but more likely they're gonna get punked and before too long will have something new to resent (or they'll become fanatics and borrow their leader's resentments)

4. Lazy and nonspecific

A general sense of 'ah this burdensome **** again' You play, you lose, you play again, with a few token wins to keep you in the game, looking too deeply at the specifics produces a headache, the problem here I think is lack of faith that small change is worthwhile or will cause measurable change in day to day experience

5. Short term fuel

Resentment gives you enough juice to carry forth, it's like apathy on caffeine. But the human spirit (for lack of better term) finds it toxic so it endlessly tries to churn it out at the end of the day

Ironically I'll stop here for now.

6. Suspicion and thinking everything is fake

Evolution gone haywire. Suspicious is a strong natural drive in all animals but its meant to be activated in brief bursts

All the falseness of the modern world can make us wonder if any human action is genuine. The non-parent might think children are this way but the parent knows children all the ultimate immitators (altho babies are pretty wide eyed about things as the risk is all handled so it's all reward)

 

[EnglishEdward]

Some confused logic here.

Consider, someone rudely jumps the queue in front of me at the supermarket.

I resent that.

But I am not powerless. I could very easily run my shopping basket/trolley etc into them.

But I choose not to go to war over such a triviality.

And I don't let it ruin my day.

 

[Narz]

7. Resentment is masturbation

Maybe in one sense all art is a rebellion against reality or a sense of chavenism to show others that 'this is how you're supposed to see it' but art requires effort so with your effort you 'deserve' the reward of more influence

Whereas wankery's inner theater allows one to set all the ground rules with no regard to reality. The popular opinion is that an occasional escapist or revenge fantasy wouldn't really hurt, maybe would even release stress but this is wrong. Like the psychological theory of rage therapy (can't recall the name) or cathartic release.

Releasing rage impotently for temporary relief is simply bad practice, perhaps one of the worst practices. Don't do that stupid **** at all

 

[Narz]

Some confused logic here.

Consider, someone rudely jumps the queue in front of me at the supermarket.

I resent that.

But I am not powerless. I could very easily run my shopping basket/trolley etc into them.

But I choose not to go to war over such a triviality.

And I don't let it ruin my day.

Resentment festers generally, a moments annoyance is a different category, even that can be reframed and is wasted energy.

If a small animal instead darted in front of you you'd likely be intrigued.

'going to war' (in a 'civilized' society like modern britian most likely 'excuse me sir or bro depending on demographics?') can be done without negative passion. If the necessity of fisticuffs or flight become involved you won't need resentment either the necessary systems will come online automatically

Now I'm reminded me of some video I watched on an MMA fighter they were studying. iIRc when you was in a fight (maybe being choked, this was ages ago) he actually became more relaxed (maybe measured by heart rate or some skin temp reading don't recall). Altho in a controlled environment where he knew he wouldn't actually be hurt who knows probably more a matter of training

 

[Zardnaar]

I don't really resent anyone can't be assed.

There's some public figures I would happily read their obituary though.

 

[Narz]

I don't really resent anyone can't be assed.

It's alot of energy

There's some public figures I would happily read their obituary though.

Being glad for harm to desist due to the demise of a perpetrator seems fine.

 

[Zardnaar]

It's alot of energy


Being glad for harm to desist due to the demise of a perpetrator seems fine.

Might be cultural.

"She'll be right".

Also weren't raised to be overly emotional I suppose. Combine British stiff upper lip mixed with Polynesian warrior culture mixed with colonial isolation, mixed with she'll be right/get over it/harden up.

I admit there's pros and cons. Stress is very low/non existent most of the time. It's that few tines when things get to you that suck hard.

 

[Gorbles]

Weak emotions like resentment attract predators

You got any studies on this? I was under the impression humans aren't organised like herd animals.

As far as negative emotions go, a lot of things end up toxic. Is there something specific to resentment that we can focus on?

 

[Narz]

You got any studies on this?

Have you heard of Donald Trump perchance?

Studies mate, lol. You need lads in white coats w pencils to verify your air for you before each breath?

Could be fun to lure college students into a study w a promise of fifty dollars and free food and try novel ways to make them resent you (or conjure the emotion w primed reading vs reading about trees for the control) and then see how they score on bias and gulablity tests but for what? Science is for stuff we don't know

As far as negative emotions go, a lot of things end up toxic. Is there something specific to resentment that we can focus on?

I made a list.

 

[Gorbles]

Have you heard of Donald Trump perchance?

Studies mate, lol. You need lads in white coats w pencils to verify your air for you before each breath?

I mean, do you want to discuss this at all?

I asked for studies because "somebody's pet theory that humans have a predator-prey relationship based on the emotions they're feeling" isn't really a lot to go on. What do you want out of this?

I made a list.

Yeah, and your personal interpretations aside, some of the list can apply to a wide range of emotions depending on the impact on the individual. Even "positive" emotions can have negative impact in specific situations.

 

[Samson]

Of the French, American and Russian revolutions, most people consider at least one a good thing, right? And they all had resentment as a very large part of the driving force. It is not wrong to resent those who plunder the world and gain so little in return. It drives change, and we really need that now.

 

[Narz]

Of the French, American and Russian revolutions, most people consider at least one a good thing, right? And they all had resentment as a very large part of the driving force. It is not wrong to resent those who plunder the world and gain so little in return.

Yeah this is a good point, on a cultural level perhaps it is very necessary, perhaps even on a personal level (for instance an obese person resenting the limitations caused by their obesity pushing them towards change but once you find the power to make changes resentment should turn into some sense of self-efficacy). I think resentment comes when self-efficacy seems impossible.

One can acknowledge impediments (physical, monetary, cultural) all without the resentment.

As for societal resentment, the problem is once you topple 'the enemy' and things go even more to **** (as in the Russian example or during the Chinese cultural revolution) who do you blame then? If 'the man' is bad & you gotta 'fight the power' then who are you when you have the power?

Resentment could be analogized to fossil fuels, it might get us so far but ultimately will choke us out

It drives change, and we really need that now.

I agree with both statements, however reactive change doesn't seem to be what we need right now.

Resentment is for sale everywhere you look and feeding into it doesn't seem to be changing things on the scale they 'should' (to support continued human flourishing & progress) and there's no reason to think more resentment will lead to that changing.

 

[Gori the Grey]

The problem with the emotion is evident in the word itself. The -sent just derives from the word for "to feel." You once felt something bad. Now you're choosing to re-feel that bad feeling. Stop. That's stupid. If it felt bad once, why in heaven's name would you want to feel it again?

Also evident in the phrase "nurse a grudge." To keep a resentment alive, you have to do active work. Active work at feeling bad.

 

[Birdjaguar]

When situations happen in which one feels powerless or unable to respond, people will allow the situation to fester; they will "nurse that grudge" and indulge in reliving the events that created the bad feelings. To get out of that unhealthy cycle, often one needs a friend, partner, or internal capabilities to let the offenses dissipate. Too often there are others who encourage resentment in others to grow and even be acted upon.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

Could be fun to lure college students into a study w a promise of fifty dollars and free food and try novel ways to make them resent you (or conjure the emotion w primed reading vs reading about trees for the control) and then see how they score on bias and gulablity tests but for what? Science is for stuff we don't know

There have been quite a lot of these things on FB lately. Apparently there are studies all over the place just desperate to pay someone $50-$200 to take part in studies. Of course they're scams, just like the "job offers" from Amazon and Walmart.

I did a focus group thing once... a long while back, pre-internet, when I knew it wasn't a scam (they wanted opinions on some stuff about the then-current Alberta premier). It was interesting... and for my time, I got $50 cash and the rest of the leftover sandwiches from the lunch (they'd have been thrown away, my food budget wasn't much, so I wasn't too proud to accept their offer of taking them home with me).

 

[Voidwalkin]

Resentment is definitely up.

Biggest driver is the echo chamber. It feels more pronounced because even the oldsters are online now, which wasn't true to an equivalent extent 20 years ago.

Take flat Earth. It's not commonly believed. But net allows masses of believers to link. Shifts the group of reference. Rather than perform the instinctive self-reflection that usually comes with being outnumbered, dude entrenches, finds sympathy amongst fellow flat earthers. Now it's a core part of identity.

It's similar with belief amongst the whole spectrum, things political and not

 

[Angst]

lots of waxing here. the extrapolation of resentment onto related but different emotions and states makes the whole thing muddled.

resentment is bad. i'm unsure how it's a "weak" emotion.

Have you heard of Donald Trump perchance?

Studies mate, lol. You need lads in white coats w pencils to verify your air for you before each breath?

Could be fun to lure college students into a study w a promise of fifty dollars and free food and try novel ways to make them resent you (or conjure the emotion w primed reading vs reading about trees for the control) and then see how they score on bias and gulablity tests but for what? Science is for stuff we don't know

you made a nutty claim drawing on ... i think i'd phrase it as evolutionary psychology? (which is usually a poor field in a lot of application, while not particularly awful in itself)... and you were asked for some notes about how in the world human resentment relates to a bison being jumped by a wolf. you are not a qualified source here, so gib one.

like, we all dislike trump and understand that he's propelled into the mainstream by bitter people. yep. we can talk about that. however, it's a fair question what the hell it has to do with antelopes. they don't elect anyone. they just run. and they don't get charged when being resentful. they get charged when being young, old, or sick. unless you can actually tell us otherwise.

for the record, if you feel like the question is splitting hairs, that's fine too. but kneejerking defensively after being questioned is then usually not the way to go. just say you think it's not essential to the point and move on, if you do want to talk about resentment as a motivator (or lack thereof) instead of gazelles.

fair note about how you're coming off here, too. it's kind of funny how you make a thread calling out resentment as a problem and then go on a tirade about them smug elites and ivory towers. when the prompt is being asked for substantiation on your shower thoughts. it seems very bitter for a thread with you making this OP.

EDIT: because i didn't mention it, i thought i'd like to underline that some of your notes are compelling. i know hostility is hard to read online, i'm really not trying to be. "resentment is masturbation" and the following points there is a small blurb akin to a lot of fun shower thoughty writing i listen to at poetry readings.

 

[Narz]

lots of waxing here. the extrapolation of resentment onto related but different emotions and states makes the whole thing muddled.

No doubt, just spur of the moment thoughts

resentment is bad. i'm unsure how it's a "weak" emotion

I already talked about why I thought so

. you are not a qualified source here, so gib one.

A source? For why I think it's a weak emotion?

I don't understand what you mean by source. I'm not building a new car battery, I'm talking about why I noticed resentment is toxic for me and others.

I'm human, I live, I notice how I react, I'm a qualified source in my own life. YRMV

and then go on a tirade about them smug elites and ivory towers

What?

when the prompt is being asked for substantiation on your shower thoughts. it seems very bitter for a thread with you making this OP.

Resentment is a bitter thing, I thought maybe talking about it would help others younger see what I've seen

EDIT: because i didn't mention it, i thought i'd like to underline that some of your notes are compelling. i know hostility is hard to read online, i'm really not trying to be. "resentment is masturbation" and the following points there is a small blurb akin to a lot of fun shower thoughty writing i listen to at poetry readings.

It does seem like you're trying to be but only you know that. Cheers

 

[Narz]

It was interesting... and for my time, I got $50 cash and the rest of the leftover sandwiches from the lunch (they'd have been thrown away, my food budget wasn't much, so I wasn't too proud to accept their offer of taking them home with me).

I'm never too proud for free food

 

[Narz]

When situations happen in which one feels powerless or unable to respond, people will allow the situation to fester; they will "nurse that grudge" and indulge in reliving the events that created the bad feelings. To get out of that unhealthy cycle, often one needs a friend, partner, or internal capabilities to let the offenses dissipate. Too often there are others who encourage resentment in others to grow and even be acted upon.

This is a good point. Social isolation and resentment go hand in hand.

Social media a big part of that as it prompts shallow thinking and comparison.

"comparison is the thief of joy"*

* Studies probably exist studying this phenomenon, have a look or run your own!