[RFC DoC] The Egyptian Exodus: Far Far South

"So it has been you the entire time," the Doctor said with grinding teeth. "The immortal pharao. Son of Ra. God of Christendom?"

"Quite so dear Doctor. Please, have a seat." "A flash of white, and the Doctor found himself sitting on a lavish chair, a steaming cup of tea in his hand. How he hated Q's fondness of turning a polite offer into a display of power leaving you no choice but to accept. "I'm slightly puzzled by your surprise. Didn't you recognize my visage on the Colossus when entering the harbor?"

"I... tried not to look too closely," the Doctor said rather sheepishly. "Was is strictly necessary for the statue to... stand at attention?"



""But of course!" Q said while sweeping his arms wide in a grand gesture. "Points perfectly east. Very useful for navigation. You won't believe the number of ships going through here ever since ancient times."

"Oh there is no end of things about this I won't believe," came the sour reply of the Doctor. "Got bored in your precious Continuum again Q?"

"You know how it is. Flitting in your little blue box through time and space, trying to find something new and exciting. But imagine there was nothing new to discover, living from the dawn of time, having seen everything, counted every atom thrice over. You of all people should understand the hell that is boredom, not as a temporary inconvenience but an inescapable state of eternal being."

Much to his reluctance, the Doctor found himself emphatizing with what Q was talking about. An eternity without excitement, adventure, it would kill his soul where so many calamities had failed to kill his body. But he also knew he wouldn't recklessly put his own needs over those of others and perhaps even existence itself.

But before he could mount a response the godlike being spoke up again. "Come, why don't I show you." He snapped his fingers and a sudden sense of vertigo came over the Doctor. All his senses were on fire and only with great effort could he keep himself from retching. "Q, what did you do?"

"Oh, I just reloaded."

"You WHAT."



"Went back in time some fifty-odd years. Wasn't too happy with how I did some things. Turns out I can save a lot of money by changing our military to a levy system."

Pharao's Log, 1423 ADA



"Are you stark raving mad? The time stream is already falling apart and you're just casually pulling at the seams!"

"Come now, it's not that bad," Q said dismissively. "Here, let me show you something more fitting your proclivity. Diplomacy."

Pharao's Log, 1433 ADA



"Not too exciting perhaps, but I get a lot of cash out of selling technologies to other civilizations whenever they have a decent bankroll."

"And you're of course totally unconcerned with the effects this ought to have," the Doctor said dryly.

"Oh, naturally. I only do this with minor peoples who will never amount to a threat anyway," Q explained. "Now Persia may be strong, but if you check their entry at the scoreboard in the throneroom you'll see they're already teetering on collapse anyway. Might as well get some shiny baubles out of them before they go the way of the dinosaur."

This marked one of the preciously few times the Time Lord found himself at a loss for words.

"Well then, moving on." Another snap, another white flash, and they stood at the freshly laid foundations of a massive fortification network. "Oooh, another quest! Those are always exciting."

Pharao's Log, 1447 ADA



"Is this, like, a game?" the Doctor asked aghast. "I think I asked you the same thing a couple regenerations ago, but it was way less literal back then."

"Ah, the Trial of Mankind, was it? You've always had a soft spot for them. A common interest we share." Q gave him a sly smile.

"You and I are NOTHING alike," the Doctor said with a cold fury.

"Come now, lighten up. Why don't we take a look at the bigger picture?" The unequal pair found themselves drifting high up in the air, overlooking the vast expanses of the south-African Egyptian Empire. Q inhaled deeply, savouring the view.

Pharao's Log, 1451 ADA



"Impressive, isn't it? We just reached a population of twenty million people. Little more than 14 percent of the global total. As for your question, why don't you just read the manual?" Another white flash and the Doctor found himself sitting again, this time with a thick tome in his hands. Giving Q a belligerent look he started skimming through some random pages, his mood darkening with every word he read.

"... Exceptional individuals like Isaac Newton are not born by random chance but rather incrementally accumulated through the efforts of lesser experts in their field of study?"

"To be precise, Great People are an unrealized potential matrix quantum-linked to the creative node of common specialists, siphoning off their excess output. Thus, when enough energy for materialization is acquired the mental profile of the created Great Person is most likely to match the specialty most contributing to their formation."

"Oh, that's cle-" The Doctor's brain caught up with his mouth and his excitement at Q's efforts died a sudden, unlamented death. "You put an entire solar system in a reality bubble, rearranged matter on a sub-quark level to conform with a modified set universal laws that still visually mimic the proper ones. To everyone around here it seems they got proper thermodynamics and stuff but once you get into the subparticles it's just a nonsensical and messed up jangle and the timestream is completely out of sync. Two decades passed in the rest of the world while I traveled here by ship! Are you trying to have the universe fold in on itself?"

"Oh please, don't get your bowtie in a twist," Q answered with a total lack of concern. "Just enjoy the show while it lasts."

Pharao's Log, 1457 ADA



"I believe you have already seen this one when you first arrived, but this time you can actually witness the opening ceremony. Would you like to do the honours?" A comically oversized pair of scissors appeared in Q's grasp to cut through the red ribbon at the entrance to the deliberately askew tower.

The Doctor alas declined to dignify the offer with an answer. "Is this what you've been doing all along? Jumping through time and space to the big events caused by your rule?" In a way it was reminiscent of the Time Lord's own travels, with the exception he only came to witness, and often to fix other people's interference. And never did he mess things up for his own amusement.

"Well, of course. Did you think I'd sit on this throne for fourthousand years managing the most minute day to day business, after trudging for twelve thousand miles through the untamed wild before man ever paved his first road? I'd be bored out of my skull! And my feet blister way too easily. No, just the most important building projects, research priorities, selecting places for expansion and infrastructure. And war. Always unpredictable. Always exciting."

Pharao's Log, 1463 ADA



"This for example is worth a look. Seems the Persians aren't quite willing to go quietly into the night yet. Decent enough army, and the Turkish people fell apart into squabbling city states after the loss of their capital. Quite convenient. See Sur down there? It's always been a thorn in my side, hampering the growth of Jerusalem. Now the once mighty city barely houses a thousand people. And soon, not even that." The Doctor watched in horror as Egyptian grenadiers boarded their ships to bypass Arabian soil.



A swift battle ensued as the Pharaonic vessels forced their way into the harbor. The fortifications of the defenders were no match for the Egyptian explosives and soon only ruins remained of the ancient settlement.

"You look gloomy Doctor. Let's just move on."

Pharao's Log, 1473-1479 ADA

"Really if I didn't take it the Arabs or Persians would have, as you can see happened to the rest of the former Turkish territory. We were just talking about Great People, weren't we? Perhaps you'd like to meet one."





"If that is supposed to be Ahmose the First of the Eighteenth Dynasty I already had the pleasure. Three thousand years ago of course, during his proper time in history you just casually ripped him out of," the Doctor said sourly.

"More's the pity. But at least our quest concluded. Turns out everyone loves castles."



Pharao's Log, 1481 ADA

Their next jump took them back to the Egyptian capital of Abdju. Where upon his first arrival the Doctor had only seen the bare foundations now stood another grand work completed: the Sistine Chapel.



"Impressive, isn't it?" Q asked with his hands clasped behind his back. "Call me a philistine if you must, but while I do appreciate the exceptional craftsmanship and composition of Renaissance art I decided to mix it up a bit. Still a lot of Michelangelo in there, but also some Picasso, Vermeer and van Gogh among others. Weren't you quite close friends?"

The Time Lord gave him a puzzled look. "Sorry what?"

"Nevermind. Wrong Doctor." Q paused shortly to consider. "Perhaps we'll get an ancient Egyptian artist as our next Great Person. Rather low chances, but the output is impressive so we'll have a couple more chances."



Pharao's Log, 1487 ADA

By now the Doctor was used to the sudden jumps and seeing Q spread the art of philosophy was about the least objectionable thing he had seen thus far, although it still made him wonder. "I thought you said you didn't do this with more competitive civilizations?"

"You got me there, but with the French having a treasury bursting at the seams I couldn't quite help myself."



Suddenly Q looked up with marked interest. "Oh, but we have something bigger to worry about. Much, much bigger."



"Looks like the Byzantines fell apart for the second time. Although the name is rather unfitting, they lost control of their namesake capital three hundred years ago, a mere 25 years after declaring independence." The sight at the fleet base at the Suez canal sent a shiver down the Doctor's spine, regiment upon regiment of the Egyptian forces, grenadiers, musketmen, bombard artillery, lined up and ready to board ship.

"Q... Are you doing what I think you're doing?"

"Naturally. Greece is very worthwhile real estate, and the prices have never been lower. Just have to make sure I'm the first to make a bid before the other powers are ready to move in."

Pharao's Log, 1491 ADA

The Pharaonic forces made landfall northeast of the city, readying themselves for a short siege instead of opting for a direct amphibious assault like previously with Sur. The deafening roar of the massive artillery pieces soon was supplanted by the softer, more distant flashes of muskets and grenades. The defenders were all too quickly overwhelmed after a one-sided fight and Athens fell.





"Good news Doctor! The Parthenon survived the sacking intact. Well, as intact as it was before. Would you care to take a stroll through its columns?"

"I assume the blood has already been washed off?" the Doctor asked, the words dripping like venom off his tongue.

Q sighed deeply, taking a seat on the broken off uper half of a marble statue, likely hit by a stray artillery shell. "You're way too softhearted old friend. Why all the gloom? Once I had my fill I'll simply snap my fingers and all will be as it was before."

"Q, you can't just-"

"Yes. I. Can." Q interrupted him. "You're so used to the rules you and everyone else have to abide by you forget that some people are not beholden to them. Chances are most of these rules were even made by us. I wonder, did one of the Continuum institute fixed points? I'd have to check, but it wouldn't be surprising to me and neither should it to you."

The Doctor massaged his temples, trying and failing to stave off a budding headache and while breathing deeply he silently counted to ten thousand(Time Lords can count really fast). "Alright Q, fair enough, I don't know the limits of your power. Perhaps you can fix the horrible fallout left in your wake I can feel in my very bones. But I do know one thing and that is, while you may be omnipotent or near enough, you are not all-knowing and even further from all-wise. This has always been my greatest concern with your kind, your power over all of creation goes so far beyond your understanding of it. Your reach exceeds your grasp. So please consider, just for a moment, the possibility, the mere possibility, that your actions here could have dire consequences even your immense might will not be able to stop before it is too late. For all of us."

Q seemed pensive, looking into the distance for some long, breathless moments. For some precious seconds the Doctor dared hope that maybe, maybe, his words had gotten through to him.

But that hope died when Q waved his concerns off with a laugh. "Oh please, I won't break the universe and even if I did we'd just make another! Perhaps you should focus your saviour complex on a smaller scale for now and look to Sparta. I don't intend to hold a second major city on the Greek peninsula but I don't feel comfortable with Spain, Persia or perhaps the Holy Roman Empire moving in there and challenging my control of the surrounding land and waters."

The Doctor wasn't quite sure where he was going with this. "So?"

"So..." Q said harshly.


"I will burn it to the ground."

The Time Lord's eyes widened in horrified realization. Slowly he turned, his eyes going west towards the setting sun.

"You better hurry Doctor! Clock's ticking."

The Doctor ran.
 
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Oh that first picture really sums it all up. I'm glad to see your still updating this story. :)
 
hey there clanky :) glad to see you're still around. I was already worried 3 years may have been a little bit too much of a break for anybody to notice I picked this back up, the Stories & Tales forum seems pretty dead.

And yeah that picture was worth a bit of editing time.
 
Pharao's Log, 1501 ADA

The Doctor begged. The Doctor pleaded. But no matter how he pushed, no matter how reasoned his argument was, the proud Spartans could not be dissuaded from a futile stand against inevitable disaster. This time, the pained screech of cannons, explosions and muskets did not cease with the desperate resistance, and the guns only fell silent once there were no more buildings to crumble, no more walls to topple. It was Pompeii all over again.



Where at the fall of Athens the Doctor was filled with solemn grief, now a cold fury lay gouged into his features by a chisel of purest ice, a fury the few who had pushed him far enough to witness it had come to fear. "What would drive you to destroy a city that stood proud and tall for millenia, a city you don't even intend to rule."

"Economics."

"Economics?"

"See, it is like this," Q said, summoning up a lush chair to sit in, the only intact chair to find in this smoking graveyard of stone and wood and flesh. "The bureaucracy of such an expansive empire grows exponentially expensive with each new major city, and at some point the cost exceeds the gain. I have found it fruitful to centralize, each region beholden to a single sprawling metropolis while any lesser cities found in my wake... well, I don't think I need to explain after aptly demonstating."

"And how many such inconvenient cities have you now burned to the ground, Q?"

The higher being paused as he considered the question. "Four or five, I think? Though one of them hardly counts, I didn't take that one with fire and sword. A pitiful desert settlement in the Arabian peninsula that sought to join my empire. I just told them to get their bags and go. I even had my people in Makkah pack them some lunch boxes for the trip."

The Doctor palmed his face, his jaw set with the unyielding rigidity of a steel vise. "And now Sparta. How many more people will have to die just because their dwellings don't hold up to your high standards, Q?"

"The benevolent Doctor, shedding a tear for Sparta's history drenched in blood and conquest."

"It's not the city, Q, it's the people..."

The people!" Q threw up his hands. "Always you see innocence in the masses, but you never recognize how deeply entrenched their evils can be in a culture. The Spartans suckled war with their mother's milk, just like the Malinese breathed slavery, the Aztecs walked in the blood of sacrifice with their first steps. They lose their innocence sooner than their baby teeth, make no mistake about it."

The Doctor remained silent with no way in sight to break through a god's cynicism, So Q continued. "Perhaps you will find this more agreeable. While we were stuck here playing war my researchers developed the scientific method. Nice, hah? Shame about all those monasteries though."




Pharao's Log, 1513 ADA



A snap of the finger returned them to the center of Egypt in a white flash. "Second time's the charm. I believe this one was already finished when you first arrived here before I reloaded."

"I shared a boat with that bearded fellow, yes."


Pharao's Log, 1515 ADA



"How about this then? Not all diplomacy has to be by gunboat. Though they drive a hard bargain, I can't get anything close to an equal trade these days."

"I think I'd be more comfortable with technology trading if it was one that didn't make your pseudo-Egypt better at killing things."

Q smirked. "Fair enough."



"Just a big pile of gold then! Alas with unintended consequences. You see, the very idea of education was so alien to the Persian people they immediately collapsed into warring city states from a mere whiff of it."



The Doctor bit his lip, trying to hold back the first twenty answers coming to his mind and settling for something less harsh. "Uh, that's profoundly racist you know?"

"Nah, but I see why you'd think that. Truth is, they were so close all it took was a single drop for the bucket to flow over. A new kind of plow would probably have done the job just as well."


Pharao's Log, 1523 ADA



"Now, before you start bleating and blating, if I didn't take Constantinople the Germans would have. My troops arrived just in time, ferried by ship and complemented by the garrison stationed at Athens. It has fallen low, a mere shadow of what it would have been in the original timeline, but it is still a city with great potential. The guns should fall silent any moment now, promise."


Pharao's Log, 1529 ADA



"Unfortanately the same can't be said for... Angora, was it? It sacrifices a bit of development, but I have grown really fond of coastal cities, so I decided to resettle the survivors a bit to the north. I'm sure with all the luxuries and plentiful foodstuffs provided to my citizenry they won't even mind the loss of their old homes!"

"I suppose they will also consider their dead relatives duly paid for?" the Doctor asked, danger in his voice.

Q shrugged. "It was your precious humans who came up with the idea of Weregild. Even in modern times, give them their electronics and five dollar coffee and they won't much mind the starving hands that built their devices or harvested their beans. Truly, the terms I offer are far more generous."




Pharao's Log, 1539 ADA



Q preened with a prideful smile. "I guess I have enough palaces in Abdju already, but a few more residences elsewhere won't hurt! Ethiopia's former capital is quite industrious, so I decided to place this grand project here while my own capital is busy. Perhaps you would like to survey the luxurious bedrooms?" Q snapped his fingers.





"That will never happen... again."

"Ah, a shame! Still, a decent enough wonder to have. This one will allow me easier control of the surrounding countryside when conquering a city."

The Doctor gave him an apprehensive stare. "You are not yet done with conquest?"

Q laughed a disquieting laugh. "Please."

Pharao's Log, 1539 ADA



"The Arabs declared twice on me, so now it's my turn. Fair's fair, right? And I was getting annoyed with keeping track of who last gave their silver to the whore of Babylon. Perhaps now for once she will find a steady master and grow into the magnificence that was meant for her."




Pharao's Log, 1545 ADA



"Ah, that was what I was talking about before! My bad, it hadn't happened yet after going a bit back in time. The same thing will probably happen to Saihut soon enough. I just want the area clear, Makkah is enough to control the peninsula. And no bloodshed this time, I'm sure you're appreciative."

"Yes, I am truly grateful," the Doctor ground out from between clenched teeth.


Pharao's Log, 1559 ADA



"Regretably, the same can't be said for Shush. Coastal cities, remember? It's just in the way to my conquest of Persia's still fruitful remains so it had to go the way of the dinosaur. But I'm like 80 percent sure I'm done with the razing of cities now, promise. And after securing the path for my troops I'm done bullying the Arabs too."



"So more war, more conquest," the Doctor said flatly.

"Yes, but don't you worry, there's other stuff too we missed out on while on campaign! Here."


Pharao's Log, 1553 ADA





"Truly the dawn of a new era. You wouldn't believe how much improved crop yields does for the rolling farmlands all over southern Africa. And where they might soon be in the still untouched west."



"Look here, the expansive rain forest that has blocked my advance all this time. Until now. I will chop it down. All of it."

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Howdy folks. I wonder if anyone's even reading this, last time I posted here this subforum was already pretty much dead. I'll just complete this old old AAR for my own ease of mind, to know I haven't left things unfinished after all I had put into it already.

A riddle a long ago was what I intend to do with the free Liberalism tech. The answer was Chemistry to open the way to Biology. I have A LOT of farms down there since it's all plains, and the jungle blocks a nice city spot as well as hampering Djeba. Plus, the Impis and soon Pombos with their jungle movement are hella annoying, forcing me to rebuild improvements a number of times. Beating them up though once they leave the safety of the jungle was easy enough, the humble axeman handles Impis rather well.
 
Pharao's Log, 1561 ADA



"Listen, Q, I found something disturbing."

"Oh, did you discover the portrait I painted of Worf? Not my best work I admit."

"What? No." The Doctor dropped a number of tomes on the table carrying the definite thud of verbose bureaucracy, manycolored bookmarks breaking up the disused pages. "Look here at the decrease in buying power for the..." He bit his lip, every cell of his body reluctant to utter the words. "... the silver guldenass displaying the royal cheeks. By the way, a silver gulden is utter nonsense, and it disturbs me greatly this is only the third most concerning thing here."



"Your enonomy is in freefall, and the only thing that keeps things from collapsing in on themselves is that revenue grows at a matching pace. But you can't keep up with an exponentially rising inflation, sooner or later this will all come crashing down."

Q frowned, with a snap of the finger summoning up an array of charts displaying the economic state of Exodite Egypt, the red line for inflation rising into a spike sharp enough to impale a man. The Doctor surpressed a curse. He had spent hours tracking down this information, and here Q divined it with a simple gesture. "I see. Looks like things advanced further than I anticipated at this stage. Well, the only thing to do is keep running before the ground falls away into a pit of lava."



The Doctor wasn't happy about this phrasing at all, but he could only warn, not compel this godling into heeding his words. Q's head snapped to the side as another event claimed his attention. "Well, it only took three wars and losing their secondary capital like half a dozen times, but at last the Arabian people are no more. Fare thee well, beget of Saladin, you shall trouble me no more."


Pharao's Log, 1567 ADA





With the Egyptian forces now in undisputed control of supply lines previously challenged by the garrison in Shush, they advanced uncontested into the former Persian heartland and took control of its major cities with only token resistance. At least bloodshed was kept to a minimum when the defenders realized how horribly outmatched the were and laid down their obsolete weaponry.


Pharao's Log, 1569 ADA



"This one at least I will take peacefully," Q said, hands folded behind his back. He gave the Doctor a sideways glance. "Unless you happen to be a Tree Rights advocate?"

"I don't think there is such a thing, but nevertheless I fear the consequences of grubbing four hundred thousand square kilometers of rainforestjust to clear a path to a settlement at the mouth of the Niger."

Q laughed. "Please! As if I'd stop there. This is prime land once no longer gratuituously entreed, and I will make use of every last bit of it."


Pharao's Log, 1585 ADA



The massive clearing efforts caused uproar among the jungle-dwelling tribes, but their revolt was suppressed soon as they stepped foot outside the safety of their untamed lands. The seasonal Impi raiding parties had at times taken a toll on the surrounding Egyptian lands, but now their time was swiftly coming to a close.


Pharao's Log, 1595 ADA



With the Arabian leadership gone more of their desert settlements sought to find their luck in greener pastures, leaving behind empty buildings soon falling to ruin.


Pharao's Log, 1615 ADA





Prospering once more in peace, the Pharaonic capital saw the emergence of one more time-displaced Great Person and a mosque serving as staging area for a grand paintball tournament. The blue team won an overwhelming victory.


Pharao's Log, 1641 ADA

But despite the world's preeminent empire's best efforts, the inflation spiraled ever more out of control. To weather the storm, Q amassed a massive treasury over the course of near a century while the rest of the world made rapid strides in technological and cultural advances long neglected in the Pharaonic realm. At last, 1641 years after his brazen, blasphemous recreation of the Jesus myth, Q felt ready for his grand design.







Spoiler :
I had to gift Chemistry to Sweden so they are willing to trade Constitution. And boy, Astronomy hurt, without the Colossus I lose a huge chunk of my commerce.


"There! Now we are ready to power through until we arrive at a more sustainable, modern economy. Just need one more piece of the puzzle."





"The Mausoleum of Mausollos. Neat, huh? Just tell me if you hear anyone call it The Buttplug, I'll behead them just like the rest." Q coughed. "Anyway, this is it. A perpetual Golden Age! Come inflation or high water, Egypt shall prosper forevermore."

The Doctor raised an eyebrow. "Forever, really?"

"Well, until I reach one of the victory conditions I have set into this pocket dimension. Though perhaps I won't make it. Maybe it will all come crashing down with fire and brimstone, but at least the fall of such a mighty civilization would be quite the show. Who knows, we'll see when we see. What would be the fun in a game you already know the outcome of!"

The Doctor, hands buried in the pockets of his coat, looked into the distance, his voice deceptively casual. "That's just the thing, isn't it. You are all-powerful, or near enough. You know everything you want to know, with one crucial exception. You don't know your own future. Oh, you can move back and forth just like I do, but your personal timestream is linear. An outside observer though with the same freedom of movement can see the one thing you cannot see yourself."

A hint of uncertainty flitted over Q's face.

"Oooho, yes! I was there. I witnessed the sunset of the universe, when the blue shifted and all came to an end and yet started anew, reborn from the fractured ruins of empty space. I saw you die, Q."

Q's voice was cold as the void between the stars. "Careful, Doctor."



"I saw the universe freed at last from your tyranny, and it was beautiful."

In a flash of mortal wrath Q snapped his fingers and the Doctor exploded into a spray of blood and torn flesh.
 
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