Black History Month Ruined Our Dinner!
Why is My Sweet Angel-White Christian Child Speaking in Ebonics, and Dressing Like a Bank Robber?
Freehold, Iowa - God-fearing brothers and sisters in Christ, I want you to think very carefully with me now. I plead with each one of you seated here today to tell me what good has come of this once great nation since the since post-colonial city-dwelling liberals got it into their thick, demon encamped skulls to force our True Christian™ forefathers to free their slaves? You don't have to think too hard do you? Well, that's an added bonus of being a True Christian™. I'll tell you what's become of our country since we spat in God's face and ignored the divine gift of slavery. It's gone downhill ever since. There's no discipline, there's no order, there's just ten-million little colored pickaninny children running around the streets with no direction. And decent folks like us are flipping the bill. They've even got our innocent little Christian children brainwashed into glorifying the ghetto lifestyle by wearing backwards hats and hand-me-down trousers! I guess that's how God punishes a country for electing a homosexual President like Abraham Lincoln.
This might come across as racist to some ignorant liberals, but I assure you, it is not. It is just the simple truth. It doesn't take a degree in theology to see that colored folks have a hard time taking care of themselves without falling into trouble. You give them money and they spend it lavishly on fickle things and fall into debt. You give them an education, and they start riots. We even have a US President sitting in the White House who has everyone thinking he is a Negro! What a spot we are in! Leave it to a liberal homosexual to come up with an idea and let the rest of the world try to sort it out! We're still feeling the pain, Mr. Lincoln! Thank you very much.
The Bible teaches us that the descendents of Ham (Negroes) were born to serve, and when you sway from what the Lord says you were born to do, your life is filled with emptiness. Just look at the colored members of this church. They are happy people. Not like the dark street Negroes that roam our cities freely! Why are our black church members so happy? It is because they follow the teachings of the Holy Bible and work as God instructed their forefathers to do - in service! Whether it be janitorial, food service, or grounds keeping - no person can say that the colored servants of Landover Baptist are not content. I want all of you to stand up there in the fifth tier of the back balcony. Let's all give them a warm round of applause in our appreciation of their service. (congregation applauds) You ought to feel proud now, my Negro friends. Black History Month gives you a false pride, and that was Lucifer's downfall. What you've got from us here at Landover Baptist is a Godly pride! A-men.
