1. We have added a Gift Upgrades feature that allows you to gift an account upgrade to another member, just in time for the holiday season. You can see the gift option when going to the Account Upgrades screen, or on any user profile screen.
    Dismiss Notice

Roll To Dodge 4: Mall Madness!

Discussion in 'Forum Games' started by Milarqui, Dec 30, 2009.

  1. Milarqui

    Milarqui Deity

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2005
    Messages:
    5,226
    Location:
    Granada, Andalucía, España, Europa
    Da rules.

    1. Post an action.
    2. I will roll one of my trusty six sided dice and tell you the outcome of your action.

    If, by some odd twist of fate, something is flying towards you, you get a free roll to dodge it. If you die, you lose the game. You win if everybody else is dead.

    Here is how the die rolls work out:
    1- Epic failure. You actually take the exact opposite action.
    2- Failure.
    3- Marginal success.
    4- Success.
    5- Perfect success.
    6- Overshot.

    You can virtually do anything, but be careful since you have a 50% chance of screwing it up. If you post multiple actions at once, only the first action will be taken. This will disregard all other actions and intent. :evil:

    Also, if you attempt to take an action without an intermediate action (example, you try to wear a shirt you are not carrying) the action auto-fails. You can't take the same action twice in a row, and only the first action you submit before I post the results of every bodies actions will be resolved.

    ANYTHING GOES but the bigger and more ridiculous the action, the less likely you are to come out with a good result.

    Example:
    You all are trapped inside a jail cell. What do you do
    Player 1: I take out my laser cutter and cut through the bars
    Me: Automatic 2: You rummage around in your pockets for the nonexistent laser cutter. You trip and fall on someone's foot.
    Roll to dodge for Player two: 3
    You manage to pull out most of your leg, but your toes got crushed.

    Player Two: UGH! I kick Player 1 in the face.
    Me: 6: You jump up and seem to levitate over the Player 1. You execute a perfect flip, your toes just brushing the roof, and snap one leg forward in time to connect with Player1's face. The force of your kick makes the room explode. People go flying out the cell. Roll to Dodge[5]. Everyone miraculously missed the glass of water.

    Thanks to Seon and kill fire for making easily-copy-pastable rules (especially Seon), and thanks to Seon for coming up with such a Crazy Awesome idea.

    Also, I'm going to reward the players for doing clever or funny things or as Seon called them "achievements". You may get a big shiny new sword, or if you're less lucky, you might end up with an active bomb on a 3 second timer.

    Special Rule: Entering a Shop
    If you decide to enter a shop, I will throw 2 dices so that I can decide what happens when you do enter:
    - First dice: Relationship between expectations and reality.
    You must tell me the name of the shop and what you expect to be there. Depending on what I get on the dice, you'll find either what you wanted or what you didn't want.
    1: Are you sure you were looking for THIS? (the shop doesn't have anything at all similar to what you wanted)
    2: We might have had that, but... (the shop has something slightly similar to what you wanted)
    3: If you had come last year, we would have given you that (related to what you look for, but not exactly that)
    4: Yeah, but it was 50 years ago (you find what you looked for, but the shop's stok is either old or half-broken)
    5: We indeed sell what you want (up-to-date of whatever you want)
    6: OMFG! I called for a little rain and got the Flood! (totally up-to-date and great quantities of what you wanted, and even something more)

    Example: Player A: I enter Victoria's Secret, and expect it to be full of sexy feminine lingerie.
    3: You enter Victoria's Secrets, and find it full of BDSM-related objects.
    Player B: I enter Ammu-Nation and expect it to be full of weapons and ammunition.
    6: OMG! When you enter Ammu-For-A-Nation, not only do you find enough weapons to supply a medium-sized army, but also a FRIGGING TACTICAL MINI-NUKE!

    - Second dice: Watch out for that las...
    When you enter a shop, the alarms may blare up or not, thus bringing different responses to you. However, in here there is no police, as the shops are equipped to fully answer by themselves to the potential threat of a robber (i.e. you).
    1: Get away or get OBLITERATED! (Shop answers with immediate and overwhelming reaction to your entrance in the shop)
    2: Wanna see me put this through your head? (Shop answers with immediate reaction to your entrance in the shop)
    3: You have 5 seconds to deactivate me (Alarm sounds, but you still have a chance to get away or to deactivate it... if you find the control panel)
    4: Situation: DEFCON 4 (the alarm doesn't sound, but it may in the next turn)
    5: Cree, cree, cree (the alarm is deactivated and will never sound. That's the sound crickets make, BTW)
    6: Oh, sorry, Sir, we didn't expect you here! (The alarm is activated, but it somehow recognises you as the owner of the shop, and will now obey you!)

    Example: Player A has entered Victoria's Secrets, a BDSM shop.
    6: The shop lights turn on, giving everything a reddish hue. Then, a sensual feminine voice says, "My Lord and Master, how may I help you?", and a sexy woman dressed with a domino mask, leather bra, leather tanga and leather high-heel boots and carrying a whip enters the room.
    Player B has entered Ammu-For-A-Nation, a shop with lots of weapons and a tactical mini-nuke.
    1: An alarm blares. Out of nowhere, a shoe appears. You sigh. Then the shoe launches itself at the tactical mini-nuke, and hits it. After a few seconds, you think it's a dud, but suddenly WHAT THE HELL KABOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!

    Special Rule 2: You CAN'T reserve any rolls.

    Are you ready? Can you prepare yourselves for the mental anguish you will be in for the next week?

    Then, 1, 2, 3, GO!

    Start: You are in a mall. There are ALL kinds of shops in there. They sell anything you can imagine. Of course, there is the chance that the shops' names are misleading, and don't sell what you imagine. :D
     
  2. Milarqui

    Milarqui Deity

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2005
    Messages:
    5,226
    Location:
    Granada, Andalucía, España, Europa
    Unlucky Customers Very Lucky Players:

    Choxorn
    DEAD
    Items: Hattori Hanzo Katana
    Special: Demonic Kittens' Enemy
    Achievements: First Injury.

    civplayah
    DEAD
    Items: Truly Living Trolley
    Special: Wet (-1 to running, chance of getting a cold), Dislocated Left Arm (actions that require both arms fail), Bronchitis (-1 to all throws), Pharmacies Close At Your Sight, Broken Legs

    bestrfcplayer
    DOUBLE DEAD
    Items: 3 Scarves
    Special: Mannequin Man (can divide his body in autonomous pieces)

    kill fire
    DEAD
    Items:
    Special: Owner of Supers, Powers & Us
    Achievements: First Owner

    Winston Hughes
    DEAD
    Items: Sledgehammer, Blunt Chainsaw (No Gas)
    Special: Alan Hates You, Winner!

    rhawn
    DOUBLE DEAD
    Items:
    Special:
    Achievement: First Death!

    Catharsis
    DEAD
    Items: Living Teddy Roosevelt Plushy, Red Hamster Plushie
    Special: Cthulhu's Friend (protects against others' direct attacks), Nosebleed (-1 HP/turn), Bleeding Idiot (-1 HP/turn, -2 to anything that may require a minimally intelligent person)
    Achievement: First Summon, Owner of Old Info Place

    Seon
    DEAD
    Items: 3 Aspirins, Mall Map
    Special: Owner of Umbrella Corporation, Faulty Nuke (explodes if getting a 1)

    DarthNader
    DEAD
    Items: Elephant Gun, 18 Bullets
    Special: Owner of We Is Not Mobsters
    Achievement: First Disguise! Winner!

    Bratmon
    DEAD
    Items: Laser Gun (3 shots), Ever-Sharpened Dagger, Unlimited Submachine Crossbow, Steel Broadsword
    Special: Owner of Powers in Gaming, Ancient Military Surplus, several unknown stores

    Rheinmetall
    DEAD
    Items:
    Special: Can't Feel Pain (Or Anything Else Through Touch), SunTan.

    CLOSED. NO MORE PLAYERS WILL BE ADMITTED.
     
  3. choxorn

    choxorn Watermelon Headcrab

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2006
    Messages:
    18,490
    Location:
    Honolulu
    In. And weren't we going to make a rule against reserving rolls because of what happened last game?
     
  4. civplayah

    civplayah phantasm

    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2007
    Messages:
    3,832
    Location:
    Oregon
  5. bestrfcplayer

    bestrfcplayer Steppin' up!

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2009
    Messages:
    3,598
    Location:
    Nowhere
    I'm in! This is gonna be fun.

    Can we post our actions now, if so

    I enter a shop called Sports and Stuff and expect it to be full of sports gear, and crowbars (I'm gonna get my revenge Seon)!
     
  6. kill fire

    kill fire Enormous Midget

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2006
    Messages:
    775
    Location:
    The cold, dark dungeons of Dredmor
    IN. And by the way, you ruined the tradition Milarqui! The next host is always supposed to be the winner!

    For my first action I go to a store called Superpowers R Us and expect to find potions with superpowers in them inside.
     
  7. choxorn

    choxorn Watermelon Headcrab

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2006
    Messages:
    18,490
    Location:
    Honolulu
    But Seon already hosted, and he's been waiting for this.

    Anyway, I go into Taco Bell, expecting to find food, mostly Mexican.
     
  8. Winston Hughes

    Winston Hughes Wrathful Warlock Retired Moderator

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2006
    Messages:
    4,734
    Location:
    A state of unquenchable rage
    I transform into a Monster Truck.
     
  9. rhawn

    rhawn Emperor

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2007
    Messages:
    1,321
    Location:
    Massachusetts
    I enter the Hardware Store looking for a chainsaw and a sledgehammer.
     
  10. Catharsis

    Catharsis catch u on the flip scythe

    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2007
    Messages:
    5,113
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Clinging onto underside of forum
    I run up the down escalator.
     
  11. civplayah

    civplayah phantasm

    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2007
    Messages:
    3,832
    Location:
    Oregon
    I stop anyone from entering any stores ever...

    Anything goes :evil:
     
  12. Seon

    Seon Not An Evil Liar

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2009
    Messages:
    8,111
    Location:
    Not Lying through my teeth
    I go into Umbrella pharmaceuticals and try to find some *medicines*
     
  13. Milarqui

    Milarqui Deity

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2005
    Messages:
    5,226
    Location:
    Granada, Andalucía, España, Europa
    3: You find a shop called Stuff about Sports, and find it full of scarves and hooters. Basically, what any sports fan takes to see a match of his/her favourite sport.
    1: Alarms blare. Obviously, you missed the small LED detector next to the door. Immediately, all the scarves fly towards you, in an attempt to either tie you up or suffocate you, while the hooters blare even louder than the alarms.

    ROLL TO DODGE!
    6: You amazingly manage to avoid ALL the scarves in the shop by hiding behind a mannequin, around which all the scarves tie up. However, one of the hooters has blared dangerously near to your ear. You still are in the shop, unfortunately.

    SPECIAL! TEMPORARILY DEAF! For the next 3 turns, any action that requires you to use your ears will fail automatically.

    2: The shop Supers, Powers & Us only has several stacks of comics. Loads of comics, yeah, but only comics.
    6: One light turns on on the back of the store. A comfy armchair is there, next to a small metallic archive and a small table. On the table, you can find a glass full of a dark drink you can identify as a Pepe-Cola (the small brother of the Pepsi-Cola). Obviously, the shop has somehow identified you as its owner. Maybe you should see if you have a twin?
    SPECIAL! OWNER OF SUPERS, POWERS & US! From now on, anyone that isn't you attempting to enter this shop or even stepping near it may be subjected to an attack by the shop's security system at your discretion.
    ACHIEVEMENT! FIRST OWNER! You were the first to win the ownership of a shop!

    3: You enter Paco Tell, where delicious Spanish food and apples speared on an arrow are sold.
    2: Oh, no! You stepped on where you shouldn't have stepped! One of the frying pans in the kitchen flies at you.

    ROLL TO DODGE!
    1: The pan was really fast! You get hit by the pan directly on your face! (-5 HP)
    ACHIEVEMENT! FIRST INJURY! You were the first to lose HP!

    6: Defying the laws of physics, biology, electronics and chemistry, you somehow manage to transform your paltry human body into a 4 meter tall Monster Truck. However, you find that all the lamps are at a height of 3m50, so whenever you move you will hit the lamps. Oh, and you only have gas for 5 turns.
    SPECIAL! MONSTER TRUCK! He actually is a monster truck!
    SPECIAL! LOW GAS! You only have gas for 5 turns!

    5: You enter the Hardware Store and find just one chainsaw and one sledgehammer.
    1: However, you tripped the sensors and the chainsaw and the sledgehammer jumped at you.

    ROLL TO DODGE!
    5: You jump at a side, the chainsaw claws itself on the floor (breaking itself) and the sledgehammer destroys the window panes. One of the crystal pieces slices your arm superficially. (-1 HP)

    1: As soon as you step on the escalator, the escalator starts to go faster and you fall to the floor, breaking your nose and a couple of teeth in the process. (-3 HP)
    SPECIAL! NOSEBLEED! Every turn, you'll lose 1 HP until you cut off the bleeding!

    3: You try to, but there is no way you can actually prevent everyone from entering the shops.

    2: When you enter Dumb Brella Pharmacy, you only find a couple of giant-sized aspirins.
    1: The aspirins detect you and attempt to make a sandwich with you in the middle.

    ROLL TO DODGE!
    2: The aspirins somehow moved faster than you and succeeded, but broke a few seconds later. (-5 HP)
     
  14. Winston Hughes

    Winston Hughes Wrathful Warlock Retired Moderator

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2006
    Messages:
    4,734
    Location:
    A state of unquenchable rage
    Unfazed by the lamps (I'm a freakin' Monster Truck! No way some puny lamps are gonna stand in my way!), I drive through the front window of killfire's store, expecting to find a magical comic that will shrink me in size just enough to avoid hitting the lamps.
     
  15. choxorn

    choxorn Watermelon Headcrab

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2006
    Messages:
    18,490
    Location:
    Honolulu
    I eat the food in the Spanish Food shop to regain HP.
     
  16. Catharsis

    Catharsis catch u on the flip scythe

    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2007
    Messages:
    5,113
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Clinging onto underside of forum
    I enter Cuddleplushies Central, hoping to find adorable stuffed animals that I can shove up my nose to stop the bleeding.
     
  17. Seon

    Seon Not An Evil Liar

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2009
    Messages:
    8,111
    Location:
    Not Lying through my teeth
    I try to find A Grizzly main battle tank:
     
  18. DarthNader

    DarthNader Destroyer of Worlds

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2008
    Messages:
    2,677
    Location:
    Guido Island
    If possible, I'd like to get in on this.

    Enter Mobsters Is We expecting it to be full of Tommy guns, pinstriped suits, and armored old-timey cars (everything needed to be the iconic 20's mobster, see?).
     
  19. bestrfcplayer

    bestrfcplayer Steppin' up!

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2009
    Messages:
    3,598
    Location:
    Nowhere
    I try to get outta the store ASAP.
     
  20. civplayah

    civplayah phantasm

    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2007
    Messages:
    3,832
    Location:
    Oregon
    I enter the Dollar Store and hope to find many helpful things, all very affordable.
     

Share This Page