Da rules. 1. Post an action. 2. I will roll one of my trusty six sided dice and tell you the outcome of your action. If, by some odd twist of fate, something is flying towards you, you get a free roll to dodge it. If you die, you lose the game. You win if everybody else is dead. Here is how the die rolls work out: 1- Epic failure. You actually take the exact opposite action. 2- Failure. 3- Marginal success. 4- Success. 5- Perfect success. 6- Overshot. You can virtually do anything, but be careful since you have a 50% chance of screwing it up. If you post multiple actions at once, only the first action will be taken. This will disregard all other actions and intent. Also, if you attempt to take an action without an intermediate action (example, you try to wear a shirt you are not carrying) the action auto-fails. You can't take the same action twice in a row, and only the first action you submit before I post the results of every bodies actions will be resolved. ANYTHING GOES but the bigger and more ridiculous the action, the less likely you are to come out with a good result. Example: You all are trapped inside a jail cell. What do you do Player 1: I take out my laser cutter and cut through the bars Me: Automatic 2: You rummage around in your pockets for the nonexistent laser cutter. You trip and fall on someone's foot. Roll to dodge for Player two: 3 You manage to pull out most of your leg, but your toes got crushed. Player Two: UGH! I kick Player 1 in the face. Me: 6: You jump up and seem to levitate over the Player 1. You execute a perfect flip, your toes just brushing the roof, and snap one leg forward in time to connect with Player1's face. The force of your kick makes the room explode. People go flying out the cell. Roll to Dodge. Everyone miraculously missed the glass of water. Thanks to Seon and kill fire for making easily-copy-pastable rules (especially Seon), and thanks to Seon for coming up with such a Crazy Awesome idea. Also, I'm going to reward the players for doing clever or funny things or as Seon called them "achievements". You may get a big shiny new sword, or if you're less lucky, you might end up with an active bomb on a 3 second timer. Special Rule: Entering a Shop If you decide to enter a shop, I will throw 2 dices so that I can decide what happens when you do enter: - First dice: Relationship between expectations and reality. You must tell me the name of the shop and what you expect to be there. Depending on what I get on the dice, you'll find either what you wanted or what you didn't want. 1: Are you sure you were looking for THIS? (the shop doesn't have anything at all similar to what you wanted) 2: We might have had that, but... (the shop has something slightly similar to what you wanted) 3: If you had come last year, we would have given you that (related to what you look for, but not exactly that) 4: Yeah, but it was 50 years ago (you find what you looked for, but the shop's stok is either old or half-broken) 5: We indeed sell what you want (up-to-date of whatever you want) 6: OMFG! I called for a little rain and got the Flood! (totally up-to-date and great quantities of what you wanted, and even something more) Example: Player A: I enter Victoria's Secret, and expect it to be full of sexy feminine lingerie. 3: You enter Victoria's Secrets, and find it full of BDSM-related objects. Player B: I enter Ammu-Nation and expect it to be full of weapons and ammunition. 6: OMG! When you enter Ammu-For-A-Nation, not only do you find enough weapons to supply a medium-sized army, but also a FRIGGING TACTICAL MINI-NUKE! - Second dice: Watch out for that las... When you enter a shop, the alarms may blare up or not, thus bringing different responses to you. However, in here there is no police, as the shops are equipped to fully answer by themselves to the potential threat of a robber (i.e. you). 1: Get away or get OBLITERATED! (Shop answers with immediate and overwhelming reaction to your entrance in the shop) 2: Wanna see me put this through your head? (Shop answers with immediate reaction to your entrance in the shop) 3: You have 5 seconds to deactivate me (Alarm sounds, but you still have a chance to get away or to deactivate it... if you find the control panel) 4: Situation: DEFCON 4 (the alarm doesn't sound, but it may in the next turn) 5: Cree, cree, cree (the alarm is deactivated and will never sound. That's the sound crickets make, BTW) 6: Oh, sorry, Sir, we didn't expect you here! (The alarm is activated, but it somehow recognises you as the owner of the shop, and will now obey you!) Example: Player A has entered Victoria's Secrets, a BDSM shop. 6: The shop lights turn on, giving everything a reddish hue. Then, a sensual feminine voice says, "My Lord and Master, how may I help you?", and a sexy woman dressed with a domino mask, leather bra, leather tanga and leather high-heel boots and carrying a whip enters the room. Player B has entered Ammu-For-A-Nation, a shop with lots of weapons and a tactical mini-nuke. 1: An alarm blares. Out of nowhere, a shoe appears. You sigh. Then the shoe launches itself at the tactical mini-nuke, and hits it. After a few seconds, you think it's a dud, but suddenly WHAT THE HELL KABOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!! Special Rule 2: You CAN'T reserve any rolls. Are you ready? Can you prepare yourselves for the mental anguish you will be in for the next week? Then, 1, 2, 3, GO! Start: You are in a mall. There are ALL kinds of shops in there. They sell anything you can imagine. Of course, there is the chance that the shops' names are misleading, and don't sell what you imagine.