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Roll to Dodge - Help NC Get Out of Bed Edition

Discussion in 'Forum Games' started by NinjaCow64, Aug 15, 2020.

  1. Takhisis

    Takhisis Jinping, wer fragt uns?

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    51,709
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    up yours.
    My battle meditation empowers Catharsis and Sasaki Kojirō (no relation) in their fight against the world-ending threat.
     
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  2. Catharsis

    Catharsis catch u on the flip scythe

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    Clinging onto underside of forum
    As I pass by the nukes heading in the opposite direction to me, I shout DISARMING DOWNY DELUGE at them to see if I can't disarm those bombs.
     
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  3. Double A

    Double A ♫We got the guillotine♫

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    NC
    I begin rapidly mashing my keyboard to hack the mainframe
     
  4. Omega124

    Omega124 Challenging Fate

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    Albany, New York
    I ask Lucina if she can help me add good vibes into the noosphere so we can make the world a better place for everyone.
     
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  5. LordArgon

    LordArgon King

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    Since Southern King has destroyed Beijing, I must now get revenge and destroy Tibet. I use the power of PepsiCo to capture the souls of all Tibetan people and trap them on the elemental plane of Pepsi Planet.
     
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  6. gay_Aleks

    gay_Aleks communism will win.

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    Nuking the world sounds quite bad, I think. I would like to hack the nukes so that they go back to Southern_King, I think that would be quite nice
     
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  7. NinjaCow64

    NinjaCow64 Thought Bubble Thinker Supporter

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    (17) 21: You now have the highest ground possible (+2 to fighting against all entities on Earth). Also, your dark powers continue to grow (+10 HP/turn).

    (14) 24: Upon putting on the glasses you can see incredibly clearly (+3 to sight) and feel like you can see the truth of the universe (enlightenment, +1 to all rolls).

    19: You call upon the greatest troll hunter known to mankind - a nuclear missile. Turns out that the troll lived in Taiwan so he's McFreaking dead. Don't feel bad, he was a complete [insert swear words].

    8: The WRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR of the raid sirens distracts you from your meditation.

    19: The missiles fall out of the sky and into the ocean, becoming nothing more than harmless pieces of metal. Unfortunately China has a lot of nuclear missiles and they sent backups, but you've brought Canberra at least another 3 turns to defend itself.

    You arrive in Beijing, but you can sense SouthernKing's presence in the upper ionosphere.

    (8) 6: Your attempts at hacking attract the attention of ainwood, CFC Administrator and webmaster. You estimate that he will take 2 turns to trace your IP and beat you up with his stand.

    11: Its hard to take decisive action in time travel when you're both being nonspecific, but considering Catharsis is the most unambiguously good PC at the moment your actions of positivity cause a positive butterfly effect that gives him a +1 to his next roll.

    (10) 11: Jesus and the Autobots strongly protest this action and your anger disrupts your efforts, although both Pepsi (more souls = more profit) and the People's Republic of China (reactionaries deserve worse) wholeheartedly approve. Still this is going to be a major effort. 1% of Tibetan souls have been transferred to Planet Pepsi and you are currently transferring at a rate of 1% of Tibet/turn.

    SouthernKing has a new target (destroy Planet Pepsi).

    (18) 12: You redirect one of the smallest nukes towards SouthernKing, but he's such a powerful magic user that it only hurts him a little bit (-5 HP). You did manage to screw around with the the Chinese military software so much that it has delayed the missiles from reaching Canberra by an additional turn.

    ****************
    4 turns until the nuclear missiles reach Canberra!

    "Saber is so cool" I say to no one in particular.

    Sasaki Kojirō (no relation) meditates to prepare for the upcoming fight 19: He stores the 19 within his pillow to use against SouthernKing next turn!

    Lucina continues to spread good vibes.

    The PLA 1st Fighter Airwing make their final desperate attack! (20) 14: Distracted by Aleks' nuke, SouthernKing hit by a surprise kamikaze attack by four planes! SK avoids most of the damage (-10 HP), but because he is so heavily injured and is using so much magic to defend yourself you are starting to feel like your mana is drying up (-1 Dark Buddhist Magic).

    THUNDERFALL finishes his summoning ritual (also I rejigged his stats significantly). (19) 18: Out of the circle pops ori, Super Moderator and DNA Repair Guy.

    "Lord Thunderfall!" says ori "It is an honour!"

    "Silence." says THUNDERFALL "There are many heretical rulebreakers here. Use your stand, Fix You, to heal my broken body. I will summon more staff."

    "Your will shall be done, my liege." ori immediately summons his stand and gets to work. Meanwhile, THUNDERFALL begins another summoning ritual...

    The Evil Psychic Deva attempts to mind merge with his master! 18: The mind merge is a success! The Evil Psychic Deva gives SouthernKing a 20 temporary psychic hitpoints and +1 to attack and defence while the mind merge is ongoing. The Evil Psychic Deva cannot act while the Mind Merge is active!

    The Buddha tries to redirect the energy of his noble phantasm to heal himself! (1) 4: It goes really, really badly. The Buddha is now on 1 HP and his noble phantasm will take an extra turn to charge! (11 turns until it activates).

    Hilary Rodham Clinton attempts to take the U.S expeditionary force along a shortcut through the South China Sea. 17: It works! Clinton shaves an incredible 10 turns off the journey!

    Next update Saturday because I need a break to recharge my creative juices.
     
    Last edited: Aug 27, 2020
  8. Red_Spy

    Red_Spy Surprised

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    Florida
    Ask the other patients in the bunker if they want to play some board games while we wait for the world to end.
     
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  9. Omega124

    Omega124 Challenging Fate

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    Getting a sense of how borked the present is becoming, I realize that I'm going to need help to continue my subconcious alterations. And thankfully NC blurted out how helpful the place he sent me actually is to my goals in chat

    I head towards the castle in front of me, beckoning Lucina to join with me.
     
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  10. Catharsis

    Catharsis catch u on the flip scythe

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    Okay, sorry to keep spamming the same attack but he's all the way up there and I only have the one move that covers that much ground.

    I rocket straight up into the upper ionosphere right up into SK's 420 dank bud-ist business, with a cry of "CATASTROPHIC CUSHION CHARGE!" and also "THIS ONE'S FOR LUCINA!" and also "WHO IS LUCINA?"
     
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  11. LordArgon

    LordArgon King

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    I eject from my fighter and attempt to parachute towards it's burning wreckage
     
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  12. Takhisis

    Takhisis Jinping, wer fragt uns?

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2005
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    51,709
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    up yours.
    I declare that Catharsis' quest is HONOURABLE and rightful.
     
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  13. gay_Aleks

    gay_Aleks communism will win.

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    Look, here's the thing: we can't use nuclear weapons. I would like to disable all nukes coming to Canberra.
     
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  14. Gurra09

    Gurra09 First Consul

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    Jan 1, 2008
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    I visit NC in his office, asking for his help to build a great cobblestone bridge transcending time and space in Megan's Minecraft dream so she can have bees in 2013's noosphere.
     
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  15. SouthernKing

    SouthernKing crickety cricket

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    Deva Loka
    I fly upon Aeroflot
     
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  16. Double A

    Double A ♫We got the guillotine♫

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    I set a forest fire in the ainwoods
     
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  17. NinjaCow64

    NinjaCow64 Thought Bubble Thinker Supporter

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    (12) 13: Unfortunately there are no board games in the bunker, but the patient next to you offers to play a game of chess with you. Using your powers of enlightenment, you can visualise the chess board in your head. You lose the coin flip and play as black.

    "Pawn to d4".



    (Making chess moves is a free action for Red).

    1: You enter the Castle and there is Little King John.

    "Hello Lucina, do you want to be my girlfriend?" says Little King John.

    "Uh...no." says Lucina.

    "I'm sure you will change your mind after a vacation in my dungeon." Little King John makes a stretchy terrifying attack against both Lucina and Omega124! ROLL TO DODGE!!!

    Lucina: (17) 15: Lucina stabs Little King John in the right hand to try and scare him off (-6 HP, -1 HP/turn bleeding, -1 to right handed actions).

    Omega124: (13) 10: You barely avoid taking any damage but oh sweet Helix the uncanny valley is really getting to you, which means he is going to just get more powerful (+1 Terror).

    (2) -2: The Cosmic Dice are not on your side today, neither are the modifiers. With Buddha getting weakened, Oda Nobunaga has declared herself Buddha and decrees that Fire Emblem Heroes is cringe and everyone should play F/GO instead (Chewed Out by Superior, -1 to all rolls). This disrupts your Catastrophic Cushion Charge and SK shoots you with a laser for oof worthy levels of damage (-15 HP, burning -3 HP/turn) and you lose concentration and start falling to the ground! ETA 2 turns until you fall to your death!

    (1) 3: You accidentally melt the parachute and by fumbling about you redirect the fighter's trajectory towards the ocean! Also Jesus Christ and the Autobots have left you on read.

    2: "You have to talk to your boss before you make declarations like that." Out of the burning wreckage of the Big House emerges Oda Nobunaga from F/GO, that awful anime game that NC is obsessed with! And now she is saying she is the new Buddha??? Either way she is pissed that you questioned her authority. ROLL TO DODGE!!!

    (13) 11: You barely dodge the volley of incoming gunfire.

    20: "We can't use nuclear weapons!" Aleks says exasperatedly.

    "I never thought of it like that." said Xing Jinping of the People's Republic of China says. "WW3 is ruthless. That war is like our civil war. It needs to end,all of the bad things in this world needs to be stopped We need peace,because this is China. And peace is our number one priority."

    Xing Jinping promises not to use any more nuclear weapons, enter peace talks with the world and mobilise the PLA to arrest the Galactic Criminal SouthernKing. For her efforts, Aleks is given the Noble Peace Prize. However, there is still one missile heading towards Canberra...

    SouthernKing! You must reignite World War Three!!!

    14: I snap my fingers and the Great Cosmic Cobblestone Bridge is erected, transcending time and space and connecting my office to 2013's Minecraft. The bees begin their journey from my computer to LKJ's castle (1 turn).

    (6) 8: Flights are grounded due to the nuclear crisis you caused.

    (20) 18: FIRE!!! Mr Γ's magical punching causes enough friction to cause ainwood to catch completely aflame! (-30 HP, burning -5 HP/turn). And he still doesn't know where you are!

    ****************​

    3 turns until the nukes reach Canberra!

    I play Minecraft and F/GO simultaneously like a boss.

    THUNDERFALL performs another summoning ritual (20) 19: Out of the circle pops Camikaze, Administrator of CFC.

    "LORD THUNDERFALL," says Camikaze "MY E NOMINE WILL DESTROY ALL OF YOUR ENEMIES IN YOUR NAME."

    "Yes," says THUNDERFALL. THUNDERFALL points to the ionosphere. "The Archheretic is there. Destroy him, then destroy all the other heretics in this city."

    "YOUR WILL BE DONE!!!" Camikaze says as he begins a kamikaze attack against SouthernKing. ROLL TO DODGE!!!

    (8) 9: Camikaze and SouthernKing, start having an epic stand battle in the ionosphere. While neither side gains the upper hand, Camikaze is now in the ionosphere so SouthernKing no longer has the high ground!

    Camikaze's reckless attacks cause holy fire to go everywhere! ROLL TO DODGE!!!

    Catharsis: (13) 11: You've trained enough against fire to even dodge fire in freefall.
    LordArgon: [laughs in fire elemental]
    Sasaki Kojirō (no relation): (14) 12: Copies his rival once again to dodge the holy flame.
    The Bhudda: (12) 14: The Bhudda isn't going to let himself be defeated by a freaking environmental hazard!

    ori attempts to heal THUNDERFALL (6) 8: But is too busy getting out of the way of fire and flame.

    The Buddha rolls a 1 again and fades from the material plane. It will 14 turns for him to rematerialise himself! Oda Nobunaga laughs as there is no one left to challenge her rule!

    Hilary Rodham Clinton and Xi Jinping attempt to negotiate a peace treaty 11: They succeed.

    Sasaki Kojirō (no relation) attacks SouthernKing! "PILLOW REVERSAL!!!" (19) 17: The powerful pillow attack completely destroys the mind merge and banishes the Deva performing the mind merge back to the shadow realm!
     
    Last edited: Aug 29, 2020
  18. Robert Can't

    Robert Can't Éponine

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    I make breakfast for me and Crezth - it will be omelette, served in mugs, made from the eggs of the bunker chickens
     
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  19. Red_Spy

    Red_Spy Surprised

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    Ask the other patient about themselves.

    Chess: Pawn to f5.
     
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  20. NinjaCow64

    NinjaCow64 Thought Bubble Thinker Supporter

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    I may need to slow down the rate this updates for the next few days because work is about to get really busy. Sorry about that.
     

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