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Roll to Dodge - Help NC Get Out of Bed Edition

Discussion in 'Forum Games' started by NinjaCow64, Aug 15, 2020.

  1. Omega124

    Omega124 Challenging Fate

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    Albany, New York
    I taunt Little King John:

    "You have no style, you have no grace, this king is a effing disgrace. He can't handstand, when he needs too but stretches his arms out, when no one wants him too..."
     
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  2. Takhisis

    Takhisis Jinping, wer fragt uns?

    Joined:
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    up yours!
    …or we could just stay up all night having a new update as soon as all orders are in and do, like, 20 updates in a couple of hours, the RtD equivalent of Mafia's Turbo games.

    IC: I use my national sense of honour and Japaneseness to tequest help from the Dragon Goddess of the Sea.
     
  3. Double A

    Double A ♫We got the guillotine♫

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    this -2 to everything is heckin dumb. you really think I'm thinking? I just do whatever, man

    I do something spontaneous and advantageous, like come back to life by sacrificing ainwood to askthepizzaguy, the dark god of delivering both food and knives into guts
     
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  4. Takhisis

    Takhisis Jinping, wer fragt uns?

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    up yours!
    OOC: take a mulligan, Double A!
     
  5. Catharsis

    Catharsis catch u on the flip scythe

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    Pillow samurai code says: if you've got two turns till instant death, it is dishonourable to attempt to save yourself on any turn but the final one. Pillow samurai code is pretty weird and we're not sure what the ancient masters meant by 'turns' really but best to do what they say.

    As such, while falling, I have a vision of my sensei. Basic Becky, sexy co-ed pillowchampion, Grandmaster of the college sorority I accidentally ended up in due to a misunderstanding about the name 'Cathy'... I have failed you!!!
     
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  6. Gurra09

    Gurra09 First Consul

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    While NC is busy playing both Minecraft and F/GO I look around his office thinking this is a really nice place so I call my realtor, It's Free Real Estate Guy, to ask if there is any available office space for me to rent in the same building.
     
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  7. LordArgon

    LordArgon King

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    After bathing in some holy fire I realize I can just teleport to a PepsiCo product, so I just teleport back to my home plane of Pepsi Planet so see how my Tibetan enslavement is going.
     
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  8. Thorvald of Lym

    Thorvald of Lym A Little Sketchy

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  9. gay_Aleks

    gay_Aleks communism will win.

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    I do not like nukes. I really do not. This is why the one going for Canberra has to be disarmed, using my hacking skills. Then...we'll see what comes next.
     
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  10. Takhisis

    Takhisis Jinping, wer fragt uns?

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    up yours!
    While I appreciate your efforts to compensate for the underuse of the delurk tag, I must also encourage you to take a more proactive approach to this game than lurking.

    (It'd be so awesome if NC took this as a separate action with its own roll)
     
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  11. NinjaCow64

    NinjaCow64 Thought Bubble Thinker Supporter

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    My crazy week has eased up (somewhat). Time for more regular updates!

    9: I...what? Mug omelettes? That's a thing??? You eat your edible abomination while God (me) judges you silently. Take a 1 RinIOT update penalty.

    Also you remember that you and Crezth are in dire need of medical attention.

    (14) 15: "My name's Kotok McCarthy. I used to be a big deal back in the day in the local Anime Chess Tournament scene, but I've been outpaced by those younguns like Leela and that blasted fish. I mainly do coaching nowadays. I've been looking for a worthy successor and you've got potential, kid."

    McCarthy's encouragement fills you with determination! (+1 to next roll)

    "Qd3"



    (I found a program I liked a little bit more, it also produces nicer looking boards IMO).

    14: "You did not mean that, that was not very kind. Once you get to know me better, you will change your mind." Despite his words that seem more aimed at trying to reassure himself than you, he is obviously mentally wounded. Seeing that you can get under his skin makes you feel a little less terrified (-1 Terror for Self, -30% Willpower for Little King John). You also feel like Little King John is starting to reconsider whether he wants to actually marry Lucina (Little King John will take Willpower damage alongside HP damage, if the total damage he takes exceeds his willpower then he will surrender!).

    Lucina pushes the attack while he is pouting (8) 9: Despite his wounded pride, he is one stretchy boi and stretches out of the way.

    Little King John pulls out two potato kinish guns! ROLL TO DODGE!!!

    Omega124: (7) 5: A stale potato kinish pelts you right in the noggin. -12 HP and you are disoriented for a turn (-1 to all actions that require thought, 1 turn).
    Lucina: (5) 2: Poor Lucina endures a barrage of stale potato knishes. It is very painful (-40 HP).

    19: Ryūjin (who is also a woman because Fate) answers you pleas. She grants you the power of Waterbending (+2 to Waterbending), which will be very effective against Nobu's fire affinity (-1 to defence vs Water-Based Attacks).

    Oda Nobunaga fires another volley! ROLL TO DODGE!!!

    (8) 9: A few stray bullets nick you for a small amount of damage (-5 HP).

    (20) 22: You abandon rationality and embrace the powers of spontaneous memery (+1 to rolls >=11, -1 to rolls <11). The -2 penalty evaporates immediately. Askthepizzaguy grants your request and promises to bring you back to life as soon as you stab ainwood to death and turn him into a pizza. To aid you in your quest, ATPG gives you a Mezzaluna (+1 to chopping and stabbing).

    The Spiderman 2 Pizza Theme fills your ears. As Ainwood comes within striking distance, you know deep down in your bones that its pizza time. (+2 to turning Ainwood into a pizza, 1 turn).

    (11) 12: The ghost of your mentor whispers to you "Cathy...use the flight!". You're not sure what that is but your mentor has never let you down before (+1 to flight, 1 turn).

    4: After exiting my office, you accidentally bump into Grum who mistakes you for a piece of Maize! ROLL TO DODGE!!!

    (10) 8: You start backing away in fear, but not before Grum manages to claw a small piece of skin off of your leg (-5 HP) and eats it oh god its so horrifying (+1 Terror).

    (3) 2: "PepsiCo does not endorse putting Pepsi products in such obvious danger." "Additionally, the People's Republic of China does not endorse failure. Die with Beijing." You fall into the water, dying instantly.

    You awake in a dark room, filled with TVs of a middle aged man with blue hair and a blue mustache. You feel your connection reestablished to PepsiCo and the powers of illegally acquired Tibetan souls flow through your veins (+1 to Magic).

    "My name is Hatsune Mike," says the blue man in a robotic voice "And I welcome you to Fast Food Hell! I have been trapped here since that accursed Noid trapped me here. But now, by defeating you I will regain the favour of the Fast Food Gods once again and I shall ascend back to Earth and finally reunite with my daughter! Have at you!"

    Hatsune Mike attacks you with sound waves and dice! ROLL TO DODGE!!!

    (2) 2: Ouch! You take -20 (Soul) HP damage from Mike's sick beats and must engage in a weird game of sort-of-DDR to avoid further damage each turn (must successfully pass an athletics roll each turn or take additional damage!)

    4: Dr Hax is sick of you submitting essentially the same orders every turn. The fact that you are literally hacking makes it even worse. "HAXXXXXXXXXXX!!!" ROLL TO DODGE!!!

    (4) 3: Dr Hax throws a large, exploding computer monitor right at you (-30 HP). The glass shards embed themselves into your body and you begin to bleed (-5 HP/turn). Dr Hax dissipates, satisfied with his work.

    (3) 4: "I am sorry Mr King but the train of Disenlightenment has already left the station". Your failure to account for the Dark Buddhist public transport system angers the Dark Goddess of Public Transport so she withdraws some of her blessings (healing factor disabled).

    ****************​

    2 turns until the nuke reaches Canberra!!!

    THUNDERFALL laughs an evil laugh. "They're banning themselves!". He instructs Ori how best to heal him 20: Ori listens to THUNDERFALL's sage advice (+10 to healing THUNDERFALL, 1 turn).

    Camikaze goes in for a rabid attack against SouthernKing! ROLL TO DODGE!!! (20) 18: Camikaze overextends himself, exposing himself to a Dark Buddhist Spirit Bomb which explodes in his face! (-35 HP, burning -5 HP/turn).

    ori attempts to heal THUNDERFALL again (5) 16: ori perfects his genetic algorithm, causing THUNDERFALL to start recovering at an acceptable rate (+15 HP/turn until fully healed).

    Sasaki Kojirō (no relation) attempts to help his rival regain his air footing (2) -1: Instead, he loses his own air footing and begins falling to his death! (falling, 3 turns until instant death).

    Hilary Rodham Clinton attempts to call Scott Morrison to warn him about the nuke heading towards Canberra 3: but Scott Morrison has been deposed in a bloody Parliamentary coup, leaving the Capital in chaos! (-1 to Canberran Defences until the coup is resolved).

    Xi Jingping attempts to mobilise the PLA to apprehend SouthernKing 12: Success! The PLA is in position to attack SouthernKing once per turn, it was hastily mobilised (-1 attack) but will become more mobilised every 3 turns (+1 vs SouthernKing every 3 turns).

    Minecraft Bees come to Omega124's aid!
     
    Last edited: Sep 4, 2020
  12. Takhisis

    Takhisis Jinping, wer fragt uns?

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    up yours!
    OOC I urge Catharsis to combine our powers

    IC I am not submitting any orders yet.
     
  13. Catharsis

    Catharsis catch u on the flip scythe

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    OOC: I don't really have any ideas for doing so, your power seems to be water manipulation now... while I am on fire it's not my primary problem :lol: If you have an idea post it and I will follow.
     
  14. Omega124

    Omega124 Challenging Fate

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    Given my successful usage of the DK Rap, I procure a coconut gun, which can fire in spurts; if it shoots ya, its gonna hurt.
     
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  15. Takhisis

    Takhisis Jinping, wer fragt uns?

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    up yours!
    OK, since Catharsis is fresh out of ideas

    IC: I synergise with the Dragon Goddess of the Sea to use waterbending (healing technique) on Oda Nobunaga, to restore ON to the proper path of honourable bushidō and join us in the fight for all that is good.
     
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  16. LordArgon

    LordArgon King

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    Time to drop that faker with some hot beats of my own. And by hot beats I mean beating them with my flaming fists.
     
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  17. Catharsis

    Catharsis catch u on the flip scythe

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    Don't you get sassy, I will steal your empty spray bottle.

    With Becky's wise words ringing in my ears in that irritating valley girl accent of hers, I grip my pillow and whisper "fantastical... feathery... f-f-f...light."
     
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  18. Takhisis

    Takhisis Jinping, wer fragt uns?

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    up yours!
    But I'm on your side! My support tactics have already resulted in Sasaki Kojirō (no relation) honourably joining the cause!
     
  19. Catharsis

    Catharsis catch u on the flip scythe

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    And I thank you for that, but my side may change on a whim... if you'd learned your bushidō ways from a sensei even half as extra as my own you'd know this zen koan: "if u cant handel me at my worst, then u dont desreve me atm y best... marylin monroe"
     
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  20. Double A

    Double A ♫We got the guillotine♫

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    well obviously I chop and stab ainwood until he turns into a pizza.
     
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