Roll to Dodge: Kill or be Killed.

i look in my armory for anything useful.

17: You search the armory of your house (the bedroom closet) and find $20, a baseball bat, and a clean suit.

i go back inside and be sure to have a hearty breakfast to prepare myself for the day ahead.

9: You eat some M&M's off the floor. Tasty, but not particularly filling and still pretty gross.

i invest in the stock market.

9: You find a quarter on the floor and invest it in Pillsy Pharmaceuticals.

i search for treasure.

5: You dig around in your front yard for treasure and actually find a large treasure chest buried there. Just as you reach to search it's contents, an angry looking group of pirates approaches. They aren't happy you stole their score.

ROLL TO DODGE!: 13: You duck out of the way of their cutlasses, but manage to stub both of your big toes in the process. (-5hp)

i look at the ceiling and check for anything dangerous

6: Just as you look up, the ceiling collapses!

ROLL TO DODGE!: 15: You nimbly dance and dodge out of the way of the falling debris.

i find a lucky four leaf clover.

16: You rummage around in your front yard until eventually you find a four leaf clover. You feel lucky. +2 to dodge rolls.

i buy a gun.

4: You walk down to the local gun shop only to realize that you're broke. You decide to swipe a gun when the owner isn't looking and leave, only you forget the "when the owner isn't looking" part.

ROLL TO DODGE!: 13: You dive over one of the display cases and manage to narrowly avoid getting shot. Unfortunately, you land on your face. Hard. (-10 hp)
 
Finally, before leaving, I'll search my kitchen drawers for a knife or any utensil that may prove useful.
 
I Start lifting
 
I try on the suit and check the pockets.
 
I steal one of the cutlasses and defend myself from the pirates.
 
Finally, before leaving, I'll search my kitchen drawers for a knife or any utensil that may prove useful.

16: After a sufficient amount of rummaging, you find a steak knife and a sturdy spork.

I obtain second chance pro

3: You decide to test your new found abilities by jumping down the stairs to incapacitate yourself.

Well, you feel pretty incapacitated alright. (-12 HP, and your arm is now broken. You take a -4 penalty to actions requiring two hands until you get medical attention.)

I practice my aim.

9: You make finger guns and pretend to shoot cans off of the fence in your back yard. It doesn't really improve your aim any, but it sure is fun.

I use the money I gain from that quarter to gain more money from Pillsy stocks.

16: Due to a sudden and unexpected outbreak of methamphetamine production, the demand for cough syrup skyrockets, as do Pillsy's stocks. You now own $5 worth of stocks.

I Start lifting
Spoiler :

A new challenger, <nuke>, approaches! He's gone stark, raving mad, and must kill everyone else to win!

10: You lift 325...

Toothpicks.

I search for armaments and vehicles.

15: You find a well maintained bicycle and an old plank of wood in your garage.

I try on the suit and check the pockets.

17: You put on the suit and find an old cell phone in one of the pockets. You also look really snazzy in your new clothes. (+2 to actions requiring charisma.)

I steal one of the cutlasses and defend myself from the pirates.

20: You elegantly dance and dodge through the pirate's unsophisticated attacks, gracefully disarming all of them, and are now holding five swords at once. The pirates are so impressed that they decide to make you their new leader. You now have five pirates under your command, and you have mastered the Five Sword Style (+3 to attack rolls using five swords.)


A strange man in a suit of metal armor, wielding a massive great sword is walking cautiously through the neighborhood.
 
I practice my swings on Tsoate's junk. And I don't mean his Chinese boat.
 
To better take advantage of my Sword Mastery, I sprout four new arms, two on each side of my body, and wield a cutlass in 5 of my hands and have one extra for... something.
 
I start practicing my punches and kicks in an effort to be able to kill with my BARE HANDS
 
I steal KaiserElectric's clothes.

17: You stealthily sneak into his house and manage to slip his suit off before he notices you're there. Your are now wearing KaiserElectric's suit, leaving him in his undergarments.

I now walk outside and look for a method of
transportation.

16: Conveniently enough, you see a horse grazing just outside. However, as you approach, the horse raises it's head and tells you that it will only let you ride it if you can sing the alphabet backwards while hoping on one leg.

I run away.

8: You run in circles. It doesn't get you very far.

I practice my swings on Tsoate's junk. And I don't mean his Chinese boat.

18: As Tsoate tries to sneak away with your suit, you wind up a big swig and hit him where it hurts. (Tsoate -20 HP)

I use my 5$ and invest half of it in low-intrest bonds to have an income for the future.

4: You invest $5 on the Knicks. In retrospect, not the best idea you've ever had. You now owe money to some pretty shady characters, and they don't exactly have the fairest interest policies. Your debt will double every turn until you pay off the bookie.

I regenerate through sheer will

2: You regenerate through shear will. As in, your shear the broken arm off. Ouch. (-15 HP, and you'll lose 3 HP per turn to the bleeding until you get medical attention.)

To better take advantage of my Sword Mastery, I sprout four new arms, two on each side of my body, and wield a cutlass in 5 of my hands and have one extra for... something.

16: Channeling your inner Goro, you manage to grow two new arms underneath your original ones. You are now wielding one sword in each hand, and have one held between your teeth. (+1 to dodge rolls when wielding five swords)

I start practicing my punches and kicks in an effort to be able to kill with my BARE HANDS

15: You start practicing made up martial arts moves on the punching bag in your garage. You call this new martial art "Flailing Fu" (+1 to attack rolls while unarmed)

The strange man begins to poke around in bushes and trees with his sword, much to the resident's dismay.
 
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