Roll to Dodge: Kill or be Killed.

Sir Reginaaaaaaald! I work myself into a righteous fury to avenge his injuries and attack the pirates and choxorn.
 
I ride the horse to [target]'s house and shoot him dead with these machine guns.
 
Well, that worked even better than I expected! I'll try attacking both mythmonster AND Sir Reginald this time! I'll hit each of them with two swords and use the fifth for defense.

FIVE SWORD STYLE: MYTHICAL SPINNING ATTACK!

1(4): You lash out in all directions with your swords, however, before any of them reach their targets, you start to feel dizzy. You slip up and fall on your swords, clumsily cutting yourself up. (-20 HP)

Sir Reginaaaaaaald! I work myself into a righteous fury to avenge his injuries and attack the pirates and choxorn.

13: You manage to slip between the pirates' legs, and work your way back to Sir Reginald. You draw your sword and prepare to fight!

I accept the challenge.

17: You have a rematch with the bookie, and this time you beat him soundly. A man of his word, he agrees to wave your debt.

I arrive at west india man's party and dance.

19: You take the center floor and dance like you've never danced before. The crowd goes wild!

I change KaiserElectric's target for this game.

2: You change the target of a hitman for the Ukrainian mob. To yourself.

I summon a tribe of ninjas to continue their blood feud against the pirates

7: You summon a turtle. Unfortunately, it's not even a ninja turtle.

I ride the horse to [target]'s house and shoot him dead with these machine guns.

17: You ride at incredible speeds to Secret Scribe's location. UNIT K-749 revs up it's chainguns. "TARGET ACCQUIRED." Bullets smash through the windows and splinter the walls. Inside, Secret Scribe is blown out of his chair, and his bookie quickly flees the scene. (Secret Scribe -25 HP)

I invite everyone in town to my party by riding around in my motorcycle with a banner inviting everyone.

20: Everybody is wowed by you glorious banner, and soon half the town has shown up to your party. It's undoubtedly the greatest party in the town's history. You get a strange feeling that this party could be even greater.
 
Ow, that hurt! Let's try this again. This time I'll focus on mythmonster and send the Pirates at Sir Reginald.

FIVE SWORD STYLE: SWING THE SWORDS AROUND LIKE GENERAL GRIEVOUS, AND I MEAN THE COOL GRIEVOUS FROM THE CLONE WARS CARTOON SERIES AND NOT THE LAME ONE FROM EVERY OTHER ONE OF HIS APPEARANCES... SLICING ATTACK WITH FIVE SWORDS!!!
 
I tug on the missing half of my suit and introduce Tsoate to my other martial arts style: Car Fu
 
Ow, that hurt! Let's try this again. This time I'll focus on mythmonster and send the Pirates at Sir Reginald.

FIVE SWORD STYLE: SWING THE SWORDS AROUND LIKE GENERAL GRIEVOUS, AND I MEAN THE COOL GRIEVOUS FROM THE CLONE WARS CARTOON SERIES AND NOT THE LAME ONE FROM EVERY OTHER ONE OF HIS APPEARANCES... SLICING ATTACK WITH FIVE SWORDS!!!

20(23)(You cannot be serious): You twirl and spin your swords around at an incredible pace in an impressive display of skill. As your crew assails the incapacitated Sir Reginald, you advance on the injured mythmonster2. You call out your attack, "FIVE SWORD STYLE TECHNIQUE: THAT COOL THING GENERAL GRIEVOUS DID WITH HIS LIGHTSABERS WHEN HE FOUGHT THOSE JEDI THAT ONE TIME ATTACK!" You suddenly toss two of your swords into the air, then stand on your two empty hands, catching the swords with your feet. You unleash the power of this most ancient and sacred five sword style technique upon mythmonster2, and he is beat within an inch of his life. (mythmonster2 -44 HP) You can feel Grievous' approval from beyond the grave. (Spirit of Grievous: You have been blessed by the spirit of the fearsome General Grievous, and he will help you in your times of need. +2 to actions requiring intelligence.)

You have drawn the ire of the Dice God. He is most displeased by your recent streak of luck. If you continue to defy the laws of probability, he may intervene in support of the status quo, to maintain the fairness of the dice.

I invoke the Pirate Code by asking for parlay.

19: Horrifically wounded, you call out the first thing that comes to mind in desperation. "Parley!" The pirates stop their assault. The look at each other in frustration, and begrudgingly back off. You re-unite with Sir Reginald. You are now under the protection of parley. Pirates cannot target you for the next 2 turns.

I convince the mob to work for me.

20: As the Ukrainian hitman approaches, you make him an offer he can't refuse. Namely, you put a crossbow to his head and threaten to kill him if he doesn't do as you say. After long negotiations with the Ukrainian mob boss, you discover that the hitman is actually his brother. He agrees to give you control of the mob in return for his brother's safe release. You are now the boss of the Ukrainian mafia.

I tug on the missing half of my suit and introduce Tsoate to my other martial arts style: Car Fu

14: You slip the bottom half of your suit on, then put the car in reverse and step on the gas. Unfortunately, this time Tsoate is expecting you. He dodges out of the way, and you only manage to run over his big toe. (Tsoate -1 HP)

I finish SS off.

11: You rev of K-749's chainguns and unload another volley into the house. By now, however, Secret Scribe has managed to find cover and avoids being hit.

I train the turtle to use its innate water attacks, and name it Squirtle

13: You manage to train it to spit a squirt gun like stream of water out of it's mouth. Its not much, but it's a start.

I get the state/province/equivalent government to issue a state-wide invitation to my party. :cool:

16: The party really starts kicking off, and soon nearly the entire state is present. This party is now considered an important event in the state's history, and has officially been made a state holiday. Still, it doesn't feel like enough.

I run away.

12: You run out the back door. Hopefully it should buy you some time.

talonschild said:
I take apart my bike and use the parts to fashion a rudimentary submachine gun.

19: You take apart the motorcycle piece by piece. Then, you reassemble the parts into something resembling a firearm.
 
Alright, time to finish mythmonster off!

FIVE SWORD STYLE: TINY SCRATCH THAT DEALS ONE HP OF DAMAGE ATTACK!
 
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