Roll to Dodge: Kill or be Killed.

Just to remind you:

:(

In that case, I use my TINY SCRATCH ATTACK on Sir Reginald. He has not said Parlay yet!

Actually, make that a SIGNIFICANT SCRATCH ATTACK, this one should do more than 1 damage.
 
Sorry for the long delay folks, I've had some other matters to attend to for the past few days.

I escape with Sir Reginald and try to find a vet.

17: Summoning incredible strength from within, you hoist Sir Reginald up onto your shoulders and escape with him. You take him to the local vet, and they begin attending to his wounds. Sir Reginald has stabilized, but will spend the next 3 turns recovering.

Actually, make that a SIGNIFICANT SCRATCH ATTACK, this one should do more than 1 damage.

5(8): The clinic is none too happy when they see a band of bloodthirsty pirates barge in asking where they can find Sir Reginald. They refuse to tell you where he is, and threaten to call the police if you don't leave immediately.

I set the Ukrainian Mafia after KaiserElectric while I heal.

14: You call in a hit on KaiserElectric, then have a bit of a rest. (+5 HP, a group of mobsters has been called in to whack KaiserElectric, ETA 3 turns)

I try to find an EMP bomb.

6: You search around in the back yard from an EMP bomb. You manage to startle a squirrel hiding in the foliage and he bites your fingers. (-4 HP)

I swear, then throw a grenade behind SS's cover. A grenade of DOOM.

19: UNIT K-749 acknowledges your request and launches a grenade of DOOM into Secret Scribe's back yard. It explodes, injuring Secret Scribe, and a cyberdemon erupts out of the resulting smoke. Whether or not this is a good thing remains to be seen. (Secret Scribe -18 HP)

I give Squirtle randomly acquired nunchucks, to make a Teenage Mutant Ninja Squirtle

18: You randomly acquire a pair of nunchucks and equip Squirtle with them. He has a natural affinity for them. He crawls around in some of the toxic waste being dumped into the ocean, and when he resurfaces, he has revealed his true form as a Teenage Mutant Ninja Squirtle. This is a great responsibility, you must never abuse this TURTLE POWER.

<nuke> stands idly in his garage, when suddenly...
6: He is afflicted with a horrible disease! He will lose 15 HP per turn until he cures himself!
 
I convince the cyber demon to help me and realise that Arrow Gamer's last three rolls were at least 17 or above.
 
The Pirates and I leave to go find our pirate ship, as it presumably has guns, and food, and treasure, and rum, and treasure.
 
Question: Do we have to be directly responsible for our target's death to win, or is it just so long as they die?

I leave the clinic my cell phone number so they can tell me when Sir Reginald is healed and go look for a people hospital.
 
Question: Do we have to be directly responsible for our target's death to win, or is it just so long as they die?

I leave the clinic my cell phone number so they can tell me when Sir Reginald is healed and go look for a people hospital.
Just a shot in the dark, but I imagine you have to be personally responsible for their death, and if someone else kills your target you get a new one (probably a late-joiner or the target of the deceased).
 
I modify my car with a roof-mounted gun.
 
I convince the cyber demon to help me and realise that Arrow Gamer's last three rolls were at least 17 or above.

16: The cyberdemon bows to no man. However, you manage to convince him that you aren't worth killing. Yet.

I gun down west india man.

4: You dakka once more, but your gun jams before it can fire, as makeshift firearms have a tendency to do. You'll have to fix it before you can use it again.

The Pirates and I leave to go find our pirate ship, as it presumably has guns, and food, and treasure, and rum, and treasure.

5: You arrive at your ship. Well, it's really more of a small row boat. Full of holes. And at the bottom of the ocean.

Question: Do we have to be directly responsible for our target's death to win, or is it just so long as they die?

You have to deal the killing blow yourself. As to what happens if you fail to do so, I won't say.

I leave the clinic my cell phone number so they can tell me when Sir Reginald is healed and go look for a people hospital.

17: You give the clinic your contact information and go down the street to the hospital. Seeing your dire condition, they get you to the emergency room immediately. (+15 hp per turn until you leave the hospital.)

I order the demon to help me, its creator, destroy SS.

1: The cyberdemon bows to no man. For your insolence, he decides that he will kill you first. He points his rocket launcher arm at you and fires. You definitely won't be winning any beauty pageants after a hit like that. (-50 HP)

I modify my car with a roof-mounted gun.

19: You notice your car has a strange panel covered in glowing lights where a radio would normally be. You decide to press the green one, and suddenly after a lot of humming and whirring, a mounted turret has appeared on your roof. Perhaps there's more to this old car that meets the eye.

The gods punish <nuke> once more for his inactivity.

6: <nuke> suddenly bursts into flames! He will lose an additional 15 hp per turn until he puts it out!
 
Well, that ship's no good.

The Pirates and I look for the best ship in the harbor, and steal it.
 
Well ****. I chase after Secret Scribe and pull out the gun I stole, which happens to have magic Nordic runes inscribed on it.
 
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