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Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

Discussion in 'Forum Games' started by Thorvald of Lym, Jan 3, 2010.

  1. Thorvald of Lym

    Thorvald of Lym A Little Sketchy

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2005
    Messages:
    8,423
    Location:
    A Palace north of Oslo
    This is a simple game based off the original Roll to Dodge by Seon.

    The rules are simple:
    1. Post an action.
    2. Your result will be determined by the roll of a die.
    Any action that triggers a third-party attack on the player immediately grants a free defence roll.

    'Ludicrous Edition' increases the variability of results with a 20-sided die (actually a short Python script) that in addition to establishing the immediate success of an action, also determines random items found, health/power/money gained/lost, etc. The basic breakdown is as follows:

    1 : Unbelievably total failure. Action WILL backfire.
    2-4 : Failure, with penalty
    5-7 : Marginal failure with possible penalty
    8-10 : Failure, no penalty
    11-13 : Straightforward success
    14-16 : Success, with possible bonus
    17-19 : Success, with circumstantial bonus
    20 : MAXIMUM POWER. Guaranteed success, with added bonus.

    Under binary conditions, 1-10 fails, 11-20 succeeds.

    Note that attempting an action requiring an intermediate action (i.e. starting a car with no keys) automatically fails. Also note that the same action cannot be taken twice in a row. Take heed that your GM is unstable, and may tweak the playing field independent of player actions. Almost anything goes, but be warned that metagaming will anger the D1C3 G0D, who may unleash the wrath of Dr. Hax upon you.

    Each player may submit one action per turn. A turn lasts at most one day and at least until every active player has submitted an action. The game is played in rounds that last until one player remains alive.
     
  2. Thorvald of Lym

    Thorvald of Lym A Little Sketchy

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2005
    Messages:
    8,423
    Location:
    A Palace north of Oslo
    ROUND FOUR [26/15]
    SUDDEN DEATH MODE - NO NEW ENTRIES

    EnglishCrusader - outside a theatre - timed out
    0 hp (permadead)
    Human
    Items
    $100
    FAMAS G2 (30 rounds - 4x magazine)
    MAC-50 (5 rounds - 2x magazine)
    Body armour (+2 to basic defence - equipped)
    Riot shield (+1 to basic defence - equipped)
    Commendations
    Sapper
    Dangerously Meta

    mythmonster2 - killed in action
    0 hp (permadead)
    Human
    Conditions
    $36 in debt
    Sunburned (-2 to basic defence)
    Parasitic infection (-1 hp/turn)
    Modifiers
    +2 to nature
    +2 to lionspeak
    Commendations
    Round Three Champion
    Wild man
    Head Lion
    Vampire

    Red_Spy - retired
    65 hp
    Human
    Items
    $2531
    Stick
    AK-47 (24 rounds - 2x magazine)
    Conditions
    +$36/turn
    AWOL (-10 hp/turn)
    Modifiers
    +3 to public speaking
    Companions
    Skwink's daughter
    Commendations
    Master Sergeant Shooter Person
    Star Diplomat
    Ambassador to Finland
    Army Leader

    landlubber - Ion Cannoned
    0 hp
    Werehyena
    Items
    $1880
    12 doughnuts
    Silenced PSG1 (4 rounds - 3x magazine)
    Bulldog .357 (0 rounds - 4x magazine)
    Zebra carcass headdress (equipped)
    Conditions
    AWOL (-10 hp/turn)
    Modifiers
    +1 to female interactions
    +40 hp
    +2 to mêlée
    -1 SAN
    Vehicles
    Land Rover
    T-72
    Commendations
    Round Three Champion
    Ladies' man

    Skwink - in Ho Chi Minh City - retired
    66 hp
    Human
    Conditions
    $600 in debt
    -$100/turn
    Rebel conscript
    Cascadia Party de facto president
    Mexican coup leader
    $60,000 bounty
    Companions
    Russian Attack Frog
    Commendations
    Round Three Champion
    Presidential Assassin
    Masochist
    Newlywed
    Democratic Reformer

    hoplitejoe - in the secret base in the Gobi desert - killed in action
    0 hp
    Human
    Items
    Nuclear missile silo (loaded)
    Conditions
    Quest: Defeat King George of China
    Mission: Find Horace

    Existentially agitated (-1 SAN, -2 to all rolls)
    Bleeding (-8 hp/turn)
    Modifiers
    +1 to strength
    +3 to infamy
    +1 to all rolls
    +5 :c5science: to social welfare, military technology, and engineering
    Vehicles
    Devil's Tongue
    Commendations
    Founder of Rhino Socialist Paradise
    Newlywed
    Usurping Mayor of Elomo
    Honourary Tadjik elder

    Darth Caesar - in Soviet Russia - timed out
    0 hp
    Human
    Items
    $740.33
    Glock 17 (6 rounds - 3x magazine)
    Brass button
    Recipe for good pizza
    Good pizza x2
    PERFECT PIZZA
    Laser chain gun
    Battery pack x4
    Prosthetic Gom Jabbar
    Frictionless Pistol (8 rounds - 3x magazine)
    Power drink
    Lucky charm (+2 to non-aggressive actions)
    Tonic water
    Conditions
    +$15/turn (suspended)
    Weapons proficiency (+3 to firearms)
    Senator, Unified Lumumbist Party
    EnglishCrusader's thrall (-10 v. EnglishCrusader)
    Negative effects halved
    Healing curse (healing actions auto-fail)
    AWOL (-10 hp/turn)
    Modifiers
    +2 to environmental science
    +3 to chemistry
    Commendations
    GDR Engineer
    Creator of the perfect pizza
    Kamikaze
    Back from the Dead

    hendo - in the EKNC's secret headquarters - killed in action
    0 hp
    Human
    Conditions
    Quest: Defeat the Gang of Four
    Existential crisis (-2 to philosophy)
    AWOL (-10 hp/turn)
    Terrified (-3 SAN, -3 to all rolls)
    Needs a Hand (cannot use two-handed weapons)
    Conditions
    Critical bleeding! (-12 hp/turn)
    Modifiers
    +1 to gun maintenance
    +2 to firearms
    Commendations
    Pretty spry for AFK guy

    CivGeneral - at the Baikonur Cosmodrome
    100 hp
    Human
    Items
    Sedative mixture
    AK-47 (cargo - 30 rounds - 2x magazine)
    M16 (10 rounds - 3x magazine)
    M16 x3 (cargo)
    Kevlar vest (+2 to basic defence - equipped)
    Combat helmet (+1 to basic defence - equipped)
    Field dressing kit
    Handcuffs
    Anointed Shield (+2 to basic defence - equipped)
    Heavenly Sword (+3 to mêlée - equipped)
    QBZ-95 (12 rounds - 2x magazine)
    RPG-7 (0 rounds)
    Conditions
    THIRD!!1
    Quest: Defeat the Gang of Four
    Defeat Ted Cruz
    Non-Lethal Archer
    Fate Paradox (luck modifiers nullified)
    Modifiers
    +2 to firearms
    +2 to infiltration
    +2 to sneak attacks
    +3 to actions involving Ailedhoo
    +3 to combat
    +2 to intimidation
    -5 to social rolls
    -3 SAN
    Commendations
    First Injury
    Cosmically Indebted
    Back from the Dead
    Servant of the Dark Side

    Abaddon - on honeymoon - retired
    80 hp
    Human
    Items
    $3 076
    Gentleman's Cloak (+1 to social interaction)
    Big stick (+2 to attack)
    Handcuff bracelets
    Virus in a jar
    Cursed amulet (modifiers suspended)
    Conditions
    Married to the Sheika of Dubai
    Animal Interpreter
    Modifiers
    +1 to infamy
    +1 to endurance
    +$32/turn
    +1 to mêlée
    +1 to all rolls
    +2 prestige
    Commendations
    Safari guide
    Fitness trainer
    Newlywed
    UN Diplomat

    Boundless - timed out
    0 hp (permadead)
    Human

    Verarde - in Westmont, Pennsylvania - timed out
    0 hp
    Billy Mays
    Items
    $516
    OxiClean
    Blood-saturated Zorbeez (equipped)
    Health-in-a-Pack x∞ (10 hp/turn - 20% efficiency - equipped)
    Electric razor
    Microwave dinner
    Stainless steel spoon x6
    Portable radio/GPS/flashlight
    Conditions
    +$19/turn
    AWOL (-10 hp/turn)
    Modifiers
    +3 v. Vince Offer
    +3 to social interaction
    +1 to sonic attack
    Commendations
    King of Advertising

    Dhoomstriker - in AMERICA - suicide
    0 hp (permadead)
    20 lust
    Human
    Items
    $785
    Nails
    Popsicle sticks
    Duct tape
    Sunglasses of Awesome
    Conditions
    Blood brothers with Lion Attlee
    Bleeding (-4 hp/turn)
    Corroded (-6 hp/turn)
    Terrified (-1 SAN, -1 to all rolls)
    Modifiers
    +1 to academia
    +1 to engineering
    +2 to medicine
    +2 hp/turn (regenerative)
    -1 to statesmanship
    Commendations
    Educated Gentleman
    Alien Empath
    Nurse
    President of Mexico
    Friend Indeed

    CivCube - in EKNC-held South Africa
    256 hp
    25% corrupted (-3 v. Gang of Four)
    CUBE-BORG
    Items
    $67 999 445 736
    $3040 (city funds)
    Pickaxe (+1 to mêlée - integrated - disabled)
    430 :c5science:
    Slonky
    QuadK-47 (+4 to ranged attack - 340 rounds - integrated - disabled)
    AK-74 (+1 to ranged attack - 96 rounds - integrated - disabled)
    RPK (+1 to ranged attack; +1 v. massed enemies - 192 rounds - integrated - disabled)
    TriBeretta 92 (+3 to combat - 19 rounds - integrated - disabled)
    Horace Radar
    Boss QBZ-95 (+3 to attack - ∞ rounds - equipped)
    QBZ-95 (27 rounds - 1x magazine)
    Boss QSZ-92 (+2 to attack - ∞ rounds - equipped)
    Launch codes for Rhino nuke silo
    $67 999 442 321
    Boss Type 82 (+4 to attack - ∞ rounds)
    Boss Combat Knife (+3 to mêlée, always inflicts bleeding)
    .50 Desert Eagle (6 incendiary rounds - 1x incendiary magazine)
    Lucky charm (+1 to all rolls)
    AK-47 (30 incendiary rounds)
    FAMAS F1 (5 rounds - 2x incendiary magazine)
    AK-47 x4 (cargo)
    RPK (cargo - 75 incendiary rounds - 5x incendiary magazine)
    FAMAS F1 x3 (cargo)
    Hand grenade x2
    Horse Talisman (+20 hp/turn and immunity to ongoing physical injury)
    Conditions
    FIRST!!1
    Quest: Defeat the Gang of Four
    Defeat General Chiang
    Defeat President George
    Defeat Christos Xinjiang
    Municipally invested (+$29 city funds/turn)
    M.A.D. Man (immune to radiation damage)
    Zealous (+1 to mental defence)
    Berzerker (can boost combat rolls at will - 0 points remaining)
    Auto-defence (+1 defence in lieu of combat orders)
    Bleeding! (-7 hp/turn)
    Modifiers
    +3 to combat
    +8 hp/turn
    +$29/turn
    +1 to all rolls
    +5 :c5science:/turn
    +1 to statecraft
    -41 :c5culture: in debt @ 2% interest
    +2 to basic defence
    +2 defence to host country
    +1 to defence
    +2 to mobility
    Commendations
    Village Idiot
    Ousted Mayor of Elomo
    Steward of the Future
    Street Artist
    Mayor of Mbuji-Mayi
    Mad Tank
    Merciful Foe

    Terrance888 - in AMERICA - killed in action
    0 hp (permadead)
    Human
    Items
    $1403.75
    Space suit
    Ship schematics
    Ruined combat uniform
    Snake-flail (+2 to attack - equipped)
    High-quality cocaine
    Conditions
    EnglishCrusader's thrall (-8 v. EnglishCrusader)
    Pacifists' Whipping Boy
    Immune to Bad Luck
    Bleeding (-8 hp/turn)
    Grievously wounded (-3 to defence)
    Commendations
    Back from the Dead
    Mass Murderer
    Mexican crime boss

    juKar-C - timed out
    0 hp
    Human

    MoreEpicThanYou - Ion Cannoned
    0 hp
    Human
    Conditions
    AWOL (-10 hp/turn)
    Vehicles
    DeLorean DMC-12

    Seon - timed out
    0 hp
    Human
    Conditions
    Disoriented (-2 to all rolls)
    Concussed (-2 to all rolls)
    Open wounds (-4 hp/turn)
    AWOL (-10 hp/turn)
    Modifiers
    +2 to intimidation

    christos200 - Ion Cannoned
    0 hp
    Human
    Conditions
    AWOL (-10 hp/turn)
    Commendations
    Dictator of Namibia

    Ailedhoo - en route to Mongolia - suicide - humiliation round - killed in action
    0 hp
    Tainted Human
    Items
    Crowbar (+1 to mêlée)
    Cracked and rotting mask (+1 to intimidation - equipped)
    AK-47 (19 rounds - 1x magazine - equipped)
    Fat Man (undeployed - 3 rockets)
    Conditions
    Quest: KILL EVERYONE
    Bleeding (-3 hp/turn)
    In cover (+2 to basic defence)
    Poisoned (-2 hp/turn)
    Modifiers
    +1 to perception
    -4 SAN
    +2 to attack
    +2 to basic defence
    -4 to social interaction
    +3 to mental defence
    Commendations
    Petty scavenger
    Back from the Dead
    Eldritch Whipping Boy

    Kinich-Ahau - in Mbuji-Mayi - timed out
    0 hp
    Human
    Conditions
    Mission: Procure Tentacle Grape for the hentaibeast
    Fractured ribs (-2 to basic defence)
    Handcuffed
    AWOL (-10 hp/turn)
    Modifiers
    -1 SAN
    Vehicles
    Bulletproof limo
    Commendations
    Violated by a hentaibeast

    Omega124 - in Pennsylvania
    41 hp
    Rule 63 Jesus
    Items
    $304 086.82 @ 3% interest
    $716 728 884.67 national debt @ 3% interest
    Elegant battle dress (+2 basic defence, +2 social rolls - equipped)
    Huge-ass sword from Fire Emblem (+2 to mêlée - equipped)
    Police baton x3
    Makarov PM x4 (9 rounds)
    Level 4 security card
    AK-47 x3 (30 rounds)
    Browning M2 (600 rounds)
    Chaos energy (6 units)
    Trickle-Down Ray (+2 to attack, damage also steals money)
    Cloak of Tanicity (+4 to basic defence)
    Dirty Bomb x2
    Fat Man launcher (10 rockets)
    Hand grenade x12
    Conditions
    SECOND!!1
    Quest: Defeat the Gang of Four
    Defeat the Ghost Writer
    Defeat George I
    +$96/turn
    Blackwater contract (-$115/turn)
    +$73 state funds/turn
    Chinese contract kickback (+$16/turn)
    Irradiated (-1 hp/turn - 3 turns)
    Modifiers
    +3 to statecraft
    +2 to intimidation
    +3 to proselytism
    +2 to social rolls
    +2 v. Elites
    Vehicles
    BTR-60
    ABM interception drone (+4 v. strategic missiles - active)
    Commendations
    Revolutionary Leader
    President of Feminist Namibia
    Top Gun

    SouthernKing - in Namibia - killed in action
    0 hp
    Human
    Items
    FAMAS G2 (30 rounds - equipped)
    Kevlar vest (+1 to basic defence - equipped)
    Conditions
    Vehicles

    Mastiff PPV
    Commendations
    Cult Leader
    Namibian Rebel Leader
    Vanquisher of Chaos

    NinjaCow64 - in EKNC-held South Africa
    100 hp
    Human
    Items
    Handcuff bracelets
    Spoon
    Cellular phone (out of minutes)
    Tuber
    Compass
    Used rifle bullet
    QBZ-95 (+2 attack - 0 rounds - 3x magazine - equipped)
    Anointed Armour (+2 to basic defence, +1 v. radiation - equipped)
    Conditions
    FOURTH!!1
    Quest: Defeat the Gang of Four
    Modifiers
    +2 to escape artistry
    Commendations
    Metagamer

    Tolni - IN AMERICA - retired
    33 hp
    Human
    Conditions
    Quest: Defeat the Enclave
    Items
    $72
    87 caps
    Map of Zambia (+1 to navigation while in Zambia)
    Kevlar vest (+1 to basic defence - equipped)
    Conditions
    Invigorated (+1 to all rolls - 1 turn)
    Enclave Power Armor (+2 mêlée, +3 defence, -1 mobility - equipped)
    AWOL (-10 hp/turn)
    Modifiers
    +1 to all rolls
    +1 to social interactions
    -1 SAN
    +1 to intimidation
    -1 to academia
    +$6/turn
    +1 strength
    Commendations
    Suspected Terrorist
    Conspiracy Investigator

    SamSniped - timed out
    0 hp
    Human
    Conditions
    AWOL (-10 hp/turn)
    Modifiers
    Losing Lottery Numbers 5,7,9,3 (10 turns)

    JohannaK - captaining the USS Space Oddity - suicide
    0 hp
    Ziggy Stardust
    Items
    $0
    $45,000 on hold
    Plans for the Ultimate Spaceship
    Kuat-Stardust Space Yards corporate charter
    USAF Space Battleship Contract (+$120/turn)
    Blunt instrument
    Conditions
    Orders: Support Christos Xinjiang in battle
    Under UN sanction (USAF Space Battleship Contract has no effect)
    Mild concussion (-2 to all rolls)
    Slave to the Mad King (-5 to actions opposing the EKNC)
    World Traitor (-5 defence v. all players)
    Constricted (-3 to mobility)
    Modifiers
    +3 to musical performance
    +4 hp/turn
    +1 to all rolls
    -3 SAN
    Vehicles
    USS Space Oddity - blowed up real good
    Armour: 0%
    Shielding: 0%
    Weapons: 0%
    Sensors: 0%
    Routines: 0%
    Life Support: 0%
    Integrity: 0%
    Crew: 0%
    +5 to ranged attack
    +5 to basic defence
    +5 to supporting a country's Defence
    +1 to cyberdefence
    +4 v. nukes launched from the USA
    +3 to intercepting nukes launched from the USA​
    Commendations
    Entrepreneur
    Cannibal

    MartinLuther - in a library - timed out
    0 hp
    Human
    Conditions
    AWOL (-10 hp/turn)

    Double A - in AMERICA - killed in action
    0 hp
    Human
    Commendations
    Died on joining

    Pacts

    Dhoomstriker & hendo & CivGeneral

    NPCs

    Samuel North
    Civil War veteran
    Allegiance: Rebels
    100 hp
    Human
    Items
    Springfield Model 1861 (42 rounds)
    Conditions
    Rebel conscript

    Rhinoceros - in Pennsylvania
    hoplitejoe's wife
    Allegiance: hoplitejoe (conscripted to Namibia)
    293 hp
    Rhinoceros
    Conditions
    Near-sighted
    Irradiated (-1 hp/turn - 3 turns)
    Modifers
    +3 to attack
    +2 to basic defence
    +2 to firefighting

    Ivo Robotnik - in Albany, NY
    Crazy roboticist
    Allegiance: Darth Caesar
    100 hp
    Human
    Modifiers
    +3 to robotics

    Lion
    Attlee wannabe
    Allegiance: Dhoomstriker
    152 hp
    Lion
    Conditions
    Blood brothers with Dhoomstriker
    Knows the Enemy (+3 combat v. US Army)
    Modifiers
    +2 to mêlée
    +2 to academia

    Hyena - in Pennsylvania
    Laughs when scared
    Allegiance: landlubber (conscripted to Namibia)
    75 hp
    Spotted Hyena
    Items
    Antique Sabre (+4 to mêlée)
    Conditions
    Trained for combat
    Irradiated (-1 hp/turn - 3 turns)
    Modifiers
    +2 to mêlée
    +1 to combat

    Construction Worker - in AMERICA
    Builds stuff
    Allegiance: EnglishCrusader
    100 hp
    Human
    Items
    Water tank
    Modifiers
    +2 to mechanics

    Dr. Hax
    He hates hax, and the people who perpetrate them.
    Can arbitrarily overrule any player action.
    Cannot be killed, but not completely invulnerable.
    Allegiance: Not You

    Dhoomstriker's Pride
    Eleven lions
    Allegiance: Dhoomstriker

    The Master - in Pennsylvania
    Evil Time Lord
    Allegiance: hendo (conscripted to Namibia)
    173 hp
    Time Lord
    Items
    $300 000
    Conditions
    Chance of regenerating on defeat
    Irradiated (-1 hp/turn - 3 turns)

    Hyena Clan - in Mozambique
    Clan of hyenas
    Allegiance: landlubber
    Conditions
    Trained for combat
    Modifiers
    +1 to combat

    Rhinoceros Herd
    Herd of rhinos
    Allegiance: hoplitejoe

    Man-Eating Rabbit - in Moscow
    BIG, sharp, pointy teeth!
    Allegiance: Not You
    Conditions
    Vulnerable to Holy Hand Grenade
    Modifiers
    +3 to mêlée

    mythmonster2
    Round 2 player character
    Allegiance: EnglishCrusader
    100 hp
    Items
    Generic construction tools
    Duct tape
    Ultimate Weapon
    Shortbow
    Butcher's knife
    Secret to World Peace
    Modifiers
    +1 to attack
    +1 to defence
    +6 hp/turn

    Ana - in a library
    Skwink's wife
    Allegiance: Skwink
    100 hp
    Modifiers
    -2 to basic defence

    Nigerian Army - fighting landlubber
    Army regulars
    Allegiance: Nigerian government

    HyenaGeneral - in Pennsylvania
    C.O. among werehyenas
    152 hp
    Allegiance: landlubber (conscripted to Namibia)
    Items
    Beretta 92 (0 rounds - 4x magazine)
    M16 (13 rounds - 3x magazine)
    Conditions
    Irradiated (-1 hp/turn - 3 turns)
    Modifiers
    +2 to mêlée
    +4 to combat
    +2 to leadership
    +3 hp/turn

    Enchanter - in Pennsylvania
    Legit magician
    100 hp
    Allegiance: Darth Caesar (conscripted to Namibia)
    Conditions
    Irradiated (-1 hp/turn - 3 turns)
    Modifiers
    +6 hp/turn

    Big Bill Hell - in Pennsylvania
    Brutally honest car salesman
    129 hp
    Allegiance: Not Verarde
    Items
    $21 000
    Conditions
    Irradiated (-1 hp/turn - 3 turns)

    Circle of the Pitchmen - in Ho Chi Minh City
    Fast-talking media salespeople
    Allegiance: Verarde

    Frank Drebbin - onboard the USS Mike Pence
    No-nonsense detective
    45 hp
    Allegiance: CivGeneral
    Items
    Skeleton key
    Kevlar vest (+2 to basic defence - equipped)
    Combat helmet (+1 to basic defence - equipped)
    Field dressing kit
    Conditions
    Holiday tan (+1 to charisma)
    Modifiers
    +2 to attack & defence
    +1 to all rolls

    Lesser Hentaibeast
    Aww, it wants a hug..!
    136 hp
    Allegiance: Not You
    Items
    Accordion
    AK-47 (25 rounds - 2x magazine)
    Conditions
    Tentacle-tied (-4 to combat)

    Venus Party - in Namibia
    Femicommies
    Allegiance: Omega124

    Den of Snakes
    Slithering mass of limbless K-pop dancers
    Allegiance: SouthernKing

    Namibian Rebels
    Rag-tag revolutionaries
    Allegiance: SouthernKing

    Secret Service Bodyguard - with Kinich-Ahau
    Kinda conspicuous in those suits and sunglasses
    Allegiance: USA!! USA!! USA!!

    Blackwater - in Namibia
    Give 'em the cash, they'll get you the bodies.
    Allegiance: Omega124

    Namibian All People's Party - in Namibia
    Social Democrats
    Allegiance: SouthernKing

    Libertarian Volunteer Corps - in a library
    Squad of anti-Enclave rebels
    Allegiance: Tolni

    Chinese Commandos - in Cairo
    Surgical strike squad
    Allegiance: Not Ailedhoo

    Bluecapes - in Pennsylvania
    Mechanized blue-collar guerillas
    Allegiance: Omega124
    Modifiers
    +5 morale
    +1 to mobility

    Namibian Expeditionary Army - in Pennsylvania
    Regular ground forces
    Allegiance: Omega124
    Modifiers
    +3 to attack
    +3 to defence
    +3 morale
    +2 mobility

    Eternal Kingdom of New China - DEFEATED
    WORLD DOMINATION!!1
    Status
    Attacks per turn: 3
    Active nukes: 2
    Cannot attack from South Africa (2 turns)
    Modifiers
    -2 v. Everyone
    -6 v. Namibia
    -4 v. United States
    -7 v. Soviet Union
    -1 v. Estonia
    -1 v. Lithuania
    -1 v. Latvia
    -1 v. Belarus
    -1 v. Ukraine
    -1 v. Moldova
    +3 v. Kazakhstan
    +2 v. Kyrgyzstan
    +1 v. Russia
    +2 v. Uzbekistan​
    +3 v. People's Republic of China
    -1 v. Britain
    -1 v. Ireland
    -4 v. France
    +1 v. Martinique​
    -1 v. Andorra
    -1 v. Spain
    -1 v. Portugal
    -1 v. Monaco
    -1 v. Italy
    -1 v. Vatican City
    -1 v. San Marino
    -1 v. Malta
    -1 v. Switzerland
    -1 v. Germany
    -1 v. Luxembourg
    -1 v. Liechtenstein
    -1 v. Belgium
    -1 v. Netherlands
    -1 v. Denmark
    -1 v. Iceland
    -1 v. Norway
    -1 v. Sweden
    -1 v. Romania
    -1 v. Hungary
    -1 v. Bulgaria
    -1 v. Greece
    -1 v. Macedonia
    -1 v. Albania
    -1 v. Serbia
    -1 v. Croatia
    -1 v. Montenegro
    -1 v. Bosnia & Herzegovina
    -1 v. Poland
    -1 v. Slovakia
    -1 v. Czech Republic
    -1 v. Austria
    -1 v. Slovenia
    -5 v. India
    -1 v. Afghanistan
    -7 v. the Bahamas
    -7 v. South Africa
    -6 v. Cuba
    -3 v. Uganda
    -1 v. Nauru
    -1 v. Kiribati
    -1 v. Marshall Islands
    -1 v. Micronesia
    -1 v. Dominican Republic
    -2 v. Trinidad and Tobago
    -2 v. Barbados
    +4 v. South Sudan
    +1 v. Canada
    -0 v. Mozambique
    -2 v. Niassa Province​
    +1 v. Indonesia
    +1 v. Papua New Guinea
    +1 v. Australia
    +3 v. Oman
    +4 v. Japan
    -5 v. Botswana
    -5 v. Zimbabwe
    -8 v. Rhino Socialist Paradise
    +5 v. Zambia

    Evil Agent CivCube
    103 hp
    100% purified
    CivCube's evil doppelgänger
    Items
    QuadK-47 (+1 to ranged attack - 127 rounds - integrated - disabled)
    AK-74 (39 rounds - integrated - disabled)
    TriBeretta 92 (+1 to combat - 11 rounds - integrated - disabled)
    Conditions
    M.A.D. Man (immune to radiation damage)
    Zealous (+1 to mental defence)
    Berzerker (can boost combat rolls at will - 0 points remaining)
    Modifiers
    +1 to combat
    +3 hp/turn
    +1 to basic defence
    +1 to mobility

    USS Mike Pence - at the Kennedy Space Center
    Twice-stolen spaceship
    Allegiance: George I of China
    Status
    Armour: 100%
    Shielding: 56%
    Weapons: 100%
    Sensors: 100%
    Routines: 100%
    Life Support: 100%
    Integrity: 92%
    Crew: 100%
    Conditions
    Under repair (+2–6% to all systems per turn)
    Modifiers
    +4 to ranged attack
    +4 to basic defence
    +3 to supporting a country's Defence
    Cargo
    AMX Leclerc (+2 mobility)
    ICBM

    17th Armoured Division - pursuing NinjaCow64
    Frontline tank group
    293 hp
    Allegiance: George I of China
    Modifiers
    +5 to attack
    +4 to defence
    -1 morale
    +1 to mobility

    80th Mechanized Division - engaging CivGeneral
    Veteran forces with light armoured support
    219 hp
    Allegiance: George I of China
    Modifiers
    +4 to attack
    +4 to defence
    +3 mobility
    -2 morale

    4th Royal Guards Division
    Elite combined-arms unit
    371 hp
    Allegiance: George I of China
    Modifiers
    +6 to attack
    +6 to defence
    +2 mobility
    -2 morale

    88th Insurgent Division
    Redneck rebels
    83 hp
    Allegiance: George I of China
    Modifiers
    +6 attack
    -3 morale
    -1 defence
    -1 mobility


    Spoiler Round Three :
    Abaddon - in SPAAAACE! - asphyxiated
    0 hp (permadead)
    Human
    Conditions
    Ship Captain
    Stay Above 30
    Modifiers
    +2 to unarmed combat
    +6 hp/turn (regenerative - suspended)
    +1 to intimidation
    Commendations
    Mr. Sandman
    Traitor Ally

    landlubber - in Sydney, Australia
    242 hp
    Human
    Items
    $639
    12 doughnuts
    Laser chain gun
    Battery pack x4
    Flight pass to Sydney
    Bottle of pills
    Silenced PSG1 (4 rounds - 3x magazine)
    Conditions
    Destiny: Uncover the secrets of the war game
    Modifiers
    +1 to female interactions
    Commendations
    SECOND!!1
    Dunkin' Donuts franchisee
    Ladies' man
    Newlywed

    !!!!! - in Germany
    30 hp
    Nightwing
    Items
    Laser chain gun
    Battery pack x4
    Conditions
    + $17/turn (suspended)
    Telepathic
    Destiny: Unite the Players
    * Make Abaddon Ship Captain
    * Help mythmonster2 become Doc of the Decade
    * Win the chick to landlubber's cause

    * Summon Cthulhu for Seon
    * Restore clarity to Darth Caesar
    * Kill Seon for Verarde
    * Get Robin to Double A
    * Best Bagel Man for CivGeneral
    * Get Red_Spy off the ship
    Master of the mind (+3 to psychic defence)
    $647 225 in unclaimed royalties
    Modifiers
    +2 to science
    +2 to mechanics
    +2 to basic defence
    +3 to medicine
    +1 to social interactions
    Commendations
    Ship's Research Head
    Mechanical Engineer
    Sore Loser
    Television Celebrity

    Darth Caesar - on Halo - expired - ascended to Heaven
    0 hp
    Human
    Items
    $157.33
    Brass button
    Recipe for good pizza
    Good pizza x2
    PERFECT PIZZA
    Laser chain gun
    Battery pack x4
    Prosthetic Gom Jabbar
    Frictionless Pistol (9 rounds - 3x magazine)
    Power drink
    Conditions
    Waiting...
    Bleeding critically! (-16 hp/turn)
    Modifiers
    +2 to environmental science
    +3 to chemistry
    Vehicles
    Personal space shuttle
    Commendations
    Creator of the perfect pizza
    Kamikaze
    Back from the Dead

    Seon - outside the mainframe - killed in action
    0 hp (permadead)
    Transit Advisor Jim
    Items
    Possessed Medkit
    Laser chain gun
    Battery pack x4
    AK-47 (0 rounds - 3x magazine)
    Captain's Passcard
    Lasgun
    Security armour (+2 to basic defence - equipped)
    Passcard, Level 2
    Conditions
    Acidic corrosion (-8 hp/turn)
    Bleeding! (-9 hp/turn)
    Decomposing
    Modifiers
    No extreme rolls
    Commendations
    Enemy of Poland

    mythmonster2 - suicide to victory
    0 hp
    Human
    Items
    Medical journals
    Bone saw
    Battery pack x6
    Power Fist (+4 to mêlée - equipped)
    Laser chain gun
    Conditions
    $36 in debt
    Modifiers
    +1 to all rolls
    +8 to medicine
    Commendations
    THIRD!!1
    First Injury
    Contemplating the Universe
    Doctor of the Decade
    Cleanser of Evil
    Bringer of Strife

    civplayah - retired
    402 hp
    Human
    Conditions
    Quest: Disarm the bomb
    Blessing of St. Brigid (+3 to healing)
    Bleeding critically! (-22 hp/turn)
    Acidic corrosion (-8 hp/turn)
    Commendations
    Masochist
    Sucks at healing
    Explosives Expert
    FIRST!!1
    Ascended x2
    Enlightened

    DrumStudent Verarde - in SPAAAACE! - asphyxiated
    0 hp
    Human
    Items
    Laser chain gun
    Battery pack x4
    Infinity Sword (+4 to attack - equipped)
    Conditions
    Destiny: Beat landlubber to the secrets of the war game
    Bleeding! (-7 hp/turn)
    Companions
    Phoenix

    CivGeneral - in the cargo bay - killed in action
    0 hp
    Human
    Items
    The Pursuit of Happyness Special Edition
    Laser chain gun
    Battery pack x4
    Broken katana
    Conditions
    -2 SAN
    Severe concussion (-3 to all rolls)
    Unnerved (-2 to all rolls)
    Broken nose
    Broken jaw
    Bleeding heavily! (-15 hp/turn)
    Broken legs


    Double A - in space - casualty of time
    0 hp
    Human
    Items
    Laser chain gun
    Battery pack x4
    Space Cheeseburger
    8 jars of apricot jam
    Interesting clamshell
    Energy Sword
    Conditions
    Quest: Become World Leader (7/9 endorsements)
    * Boost Seon's rolls
    * Guard Red_Spy from his guard

    Companions
    Baby Kryptonian
    Vehicles
    Bat Rocket

    Red_Spy - by his own hand betrayed
    0 hp
    Human
    Conditions
    Quest: Get the ship to Dune
    $248.80 in debt @ 5% interest
    +$17/turn
    Vulnerable to the vacuum
    Broken Jaw
    Mild concussion (-2 to all rolls)
    Bleeding critically! (-30 hp/turn)
    No left arm
    No right hand
    Modifiers
    +3 to mechanics
    +3 to electrics
    Commendations
    War expert
    Ship engineer

    Terrance888 - killed in action
    0 hp
    Human
    Items
    $1403.75
    Space suit
    Ship schematics
    Battery pack x7
    Alien medallion
    Ruined combat uniform
    Conditions
    Pacifists' Whipping Boy
    Immune to Bad Luck
    Bleeding critically! (-42 hp/turn)
    Armless!
    ANGRY! (+2 to combat)
    Modifiers
    -1 SAN

    Spleyminy - in a law office
    235 hp
    Human
    Conditions
    Destiny: Beat landlubber to the secrets of the war game
    Net Neutralizer (all modifiers null)

    Tlc2011 - killed in action
    0 hp
    Human
    Conditions
    Bleeding heavily! (-15 hp/turn)

    Skwink Caesar - on Earth - stole third
    474 hp
    Human
    Items
    Space Cheeseburger
    Infinity double-barrelled S&W M&P Sword (8 rounds - 4x magazine - +4 to mêlée - equipped)
    Conditions
    $452 460
    -$100/turn
    Disbarred
    Mission: Save Red_Spy
    Modifiers
    +3 to legal actions (suspended)
    Companions
    Russian Attack Frog
    Commendations
    THIRD!!1
    Student of Law

    CivCube
    237 hp
    Human

    Pacts
    mythmonster2 & !!!!!
    Abaddon & Verarde

    NPCs

    Security personnel
    Ship's guard
    Allegiance: Abaddon's clone

    Dr. Hax
    He hates hax, and the people who perpetrate them.
    Can arbitrarily overrule any player action.
    Cannot be killed, but not completely invulnerable.
    Allegiance: Not You

    Shani - status unknown
    Former lesbian and landlubber's wife
    Allegiance: landlubber, nominally

    Abaddon clone
    482 hp
    Allegiance: mythmonster2
    Items
    White fedora
    White suit
    Prosthetic Finger (+1 to attack)
    Conditions
    Ascetic (+4 to defence)
    Pacifist (aggressive actions auto-fail)
    Modifiers
    +3 hp/turn (regenerative - suspended)
    +3 to medicine

    Robin - in SPAAAACE!
    Batman's Right Hand
    Allegiance: Double A

    Delivery for !!!!! - at the docking bay
    Anti-Seon weapon
    Allegiance: !!!!!

    Master Chef
    Spartan Cook
    Allegiance: !!!!!

    Monster Bodyguard - with mythmonster2
    Name sez it all
    Allegiance: mythmonster2
     
    Last edited: Mar 9, 2017
  3. rhawn

    rhawn Emperor

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2007
    Messages:
    1,321
    Location:
    Massachusetts
    I search for a shovel.
     
  4. civplayah

    civplayah phantasm

    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2007
    Messages:
    3,832
    Location:
    Oregon
    I eat magical fudge.
     
  5. Thorvald of Lym

    Thorvald of Lym A Little Sketchy

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2005
    Messages:
    8,423
    Location:
    A Palace north of Oslo
    Oh, what the hell. Let's begin.

    ROUND ONE
    You find yourself downtown in a generic city.

    11: You find a sturdy shovel.

    11: The fudge is magically tasty, but it seems to need a catalyst to activate.
     
  6. kill fire

    kill fire Enormous Midget

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2006
    Messages:
    775
    Location:
    The cold, dark dungeons of Dredmor
    Roll To Dodge with a 20 sided die? Count me in!

    I start dancing as my first action, as I usually do.
     
  7. choxorn

    choxorn Watermelon Headcrab

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2006
    Messages:
    18,490
    Location:
    Honolulu
    You can count me in, too. As my first action, I attempt to summon the most awesome sword in the universe.
     
  8. rhawn

    rhawn Emperor

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2007
    Messages:
    1,321
    Location:
    Massachusetts
    I begin digging kill fire's grave.
     
  9. civplayah

    civplayah phantasm

    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2007
    Messages:
    3,832
    Location:
    Oregon
    I join kill fire's dance party.
     
  10. Thorvald of Lym

    Thorvald of Lym A Little Sketchy

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2005
    Messages:
    8,423
    Location:
    A Palace north of Oslo
    1: You trip on a crack and land on your elbow. It's not fractured, fortunately, but it still hurts. (-3 hp) Some passers-by are quite impolite in their critique. (Embarrassed; -2 to rolls for public performances)

    10: You summon a rudimentary one-handed sword.

    13: It's tough digging through the pavement, but you manage to reach the soil underneath.

    16: You put on some moves. Some passers-by give you small tips. (Cash + $5)
     
  11. Omega124

    Omega124 Challenging Fate

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2008
    Messages:
    7,083
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Albany, New York
    Joining!

    I first go to a Telephone and call my Illuminati buddies to give me some free-of-all-costs back-up soldiers armed with authentic modern machine guns that are lethal, loaded, trained not to shoot me, accidently or not, and have no plans to backstab me EVER.
     
  12. choxorn

    choxorn Watermelon Headcrab

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2006
    Messages:
    18,490
    Location:
    Honolulu
    I slice Omega's Phone in half before the call can get through.
     
  13. civplayah

    civplayah phantasm

    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2007
    Messages:
    3,832
    Location:
    Oregon
    I look for a place to spend my money.
     
  14. kill fire

    kill fire Enormous Midget

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2006
    Messages:
    775
    Location:
    The cold, dark dungeons of Dredmor
    I decide to move away from my ordinary actions, which would be revenge on you and every passerby, and instead decide to simply grab a drink.
     
  15. rhawn

    rhawn Emperor

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2007
    Messages:
    1,321
    Location:
    Massachusetts
    I fashion a crude headstone out of the broken pieces of pavement.
     
  16. Thorvald of Lym

    Thorvald of Lym A Little Sketchy

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2005
    Messages:
    8,423
    Location:
    A Palace north of Oslo
    14: The troops are en route, ETA 8 turns. Word quickly spreads of your connections. (Notoriety; +1 to rolls for intimidation actions)

    7: You sever the cord, but by then Omega has left.

    4: You spot a store in the distance. Further examination of the image in the display window renders you so disgusted, that some of your money slips through your fingers onto the ground. (Cash - $2.50) Nobody claims it... yet.

    5: You are unable to find a bar in your vicinity.

    16: It's rough (literally and figuratively), but legible.
     
  17. civplayah

    civplayah phantasm

    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2007
    Messages:
    3,832
    Location:
    Oregon
    I pick up my money.
     
  18. choxorn

    choxorn Watermelon Headcrab

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2006
    Messages:
    18,490
    Location:
    Honolulu
    Screw it, I'll just slice Omega with the sword then.
     
  19. rhawn

    rhawn Emperor

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2007
    Messages:
    1,321
    Location:
    Massachusetts
    I dig throught the soft soil, depositing it on the concrete above, until it is deep enough to house kill fire's remains.
     
  20. Omega124

    Omega124 Challenging Fate

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2008
    Messages:
    7,083
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Albany, New York
    I blast choxon with a non-backfiring, loaded, legal, epic Rocket Launcher got from mid air.
     

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