Roll to Dodge: Staff Sgt. Max Fightmaster Edition

I petition the president to send me some water benders that know how to perform healing.

My crew launches several rockets into the blue sun causing it to go supernova.

You forgot to list my ward under my inventory.
 
I sneak aboard Comrade Techojock's plane, it's protective wards protecting me as well.
 
Right! time to crack down. My guards murder all my dissenters and I give angry speeches over state TV.
 
Using my experience with creating astronomical objects, I supernova this hypergiant so that it collapses into a black hole.
 
For my free action, I answer SouthernKing.
I poke around in my artifacts for some healing substances.
My robots attempt to build a giant laser cannon.
 
Right! time to crack down. My guards murder all my dissenters and I give angry speeches over state TV.

Just a forewarning, you don't have guards anymore.
 
I summon orcs to serve me.
 
I take Excalibur and go to Hogwarts, to increase my magical prowess even more.
 
Send my Raptors to attack SouthernKing. That hurt!

Meanwhile, I start a country band called The Southern Kings.
 
I'm leaving for 10 days starting from tomorrow, and thus won't be able to post actions.
 
On that note, :bump:
 
Apologies for the apparent death of this, I've been distracted from my duties at the forum recently.

Update coming tomorrow, we ain't dead yet! :D
 
I petition the president to send me some water benders that know how to perform healing.

My crew launches several rockets into the blue sun causing it to go supernova.

You forgot to list my ward under my inventory.

(20) The president isn't able to comply with the request. When you ask why, he explains that the only waterbender at his disposal is some dude named Technojock. Distraught at the fact that you can't find this stranger, you use your waterbending abilities to heal yourself for 35 health.

(8+4=12) Your crew fires a volley of rockets, causing it to shift position slightly. The difference in position scorches an unknown amount of players for a total of 10 damage.

I shoot SamSniped with my laser rifle.

(14+2=16) Pew pew! Sam takes 9 damage.

I sneak aboard Comrade Techojock's plane, it's protective wards protecting me as well.

(6+1=7) You try to pass yourself off as a crew member, but your plans are thwarted by the reek of vodka on your clothing.

Right! time to crack down. My guards murder all my dissenters and I give angry speeches over state TV.

(16-3=13) No one cares about the speeches you give, but the new President of Egypt decides to give you command of a squadron of soldiers after listening to your rhetoric. Hooray?

I shoot Yoshi with my sniper rifle.

(16+2=18) You are treated to a slow motion shot of Yoshi getting his kidneys shredded by your expertly placed bullet for 12 damage.

Yoshiegg737 has been killed by SamSniped!!! :run:

Using my experience with creating astronomical objects, I supernova this hypergiant so that it collapses into a black hole.

(10+2=12) You shift your giant sun slightly. The temperature gets slightly warmer and 8 damage is randomly applied to random players.

For my free action, I answer SouthernKing.
I poke around in my artifacts for some healing substances.
My robots attempt to build a giant laser cannon.

(13) You find some ancient ointment and apply it to sooth your wounds. Ahhhh... (+4 hp)

(11) Your robots build a regular-sized laser cannon. Useful?

The wristband gives off a soft glow when you say the name. Meanwhile, a similar wristband made of silver with a ruby embedded in it appears on SouthernKing's wrist.

I summon orcs to serve me.

(13) You shoot some magic into a mud puddle and a few orcs come out. Yay!

I throw the red flags at all other PCs so that Zombie Lenin will attack the evil capitalists!

(14) You toss a flag at west india man, and Zombie Lenin shambles forward.

I take Excalibur and go to Hogwarts, to increase my magical prowess even more.

(5) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRsPheErBj8

Send my Raptors to attack SouthernKing. That hurt!

Meanwhile, I start a country band called The Southern Kings.

(3) Your band is a giant flop, and you sell your kidney on the black market to remain solvent, contracting a nasty infection for 7 hp.

(17) Clever girl. Your raptors do 12 damage.

I yell at my brain to come in before I personally beat it up

(5) Your brain doesn't listen, so you beat it up for 5 damage. If you'll forgive the awful joke, that wasn't a smart move.

Zombie Lenin attacks!
ROLL TO DODGE
(8) Lenin liberates some elitist brain cells from west india man for 6 damage.

Verteig has been sated. His gift has been rewarded, and he has left this realm.

The plague has dissipated along with him. For the curious, the second mutation of the plague didn't do anything. Haha.
 
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