Special thanks to Omega for reminding me to pull my act together and update this.
(7) All the doctors all occupied with other patients owing to SK's chaotic screwing around with the cosmos.
I attempt fire bending on ninjacow and discover that I am, in fact, the avatar.
I have my crew wrap ninjacow in chains and sink him to the bottom of the ocean.
(11) You attempt to fire bend, but just get frustrated and kick him in the nads for 2 damage instead. The Touch of Death applies itself to your hit for an additional 5 damage.
(7+4=11) Your crew ties him up, but your environmentally conscious crew elects not to toss him into the ocean for fear of contaminating it with all the vodka in Ninja's system.
Damn and blast my vodka encrusted clothing. If only there was a way to get rid of it...
I KNOW! I take off all my clothing, that way they can't smell the Vodka! Because I am naked, they would get all confused and put chains on Technojock instead!
(20-1=19) Your sudden nudity puts Shock and Awe tactics to shame, and Technojock's crew members are so utterly confused that they toss Techno into the drink.
Since I'm dead, I go and annoy Vertieg until the end of time
Have fun!
I go completely insane at this insult, take Excalibur and kill a bunch of nerds with it to prove I'm not a nerd.
(3) You barge into what you think is a comic book convention, but it turns out to be a police station full of SWAT officers.
ROLL TO DODGE
(2) Not in the face! (-8 damage)
Your force field was broken, and the effects will manifest next round.
I throw a bucket of vodka on top of Ninjacow.
(11) Ninja absorbs some of the Vodka into his system, boosting his regen slightly.
I hire some Somali Pirates to work for me.
(12) A pair of them flock to your banner.
I upgrade my orbital potato launcher to Orbital Friendship Cannon.
(3+1=4) You stick a screwdriver where it doesn't belong and eject a marshmallow out the wrong end.
ROLL TO DODGE
(4) Your eye socket becomes softer and fluffier. (-5 damage)
I find an ambulance located conviently outside my bunker.
My robots bring the cannon back to my bunker, thus increasing it's range and power.
(8) You find an ambulance located some distance away, but are too lazy to use it.
(14) Your robots rig up the gun to the bunker. Firepower!
Instead of attempting to remove it, I use Earth's magnetic field to block the effects of the wristband.
(2+2=4) The spiritual mumbo-jumbo in the bracelet doesn't care for that at all.
ROLL TO DODGE
(12-5=7) The wristband takes control of your hand. Stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself! LOL! (-5 damage)
I reforge the one ring.
My orcs kill SamSniped.
(9) You're no blacksmith, let alone one infused with the dark side or whatever.
(7) They don't taste Samflesh.
My Soldiers break my shackle, then I do a freedom dance.
(8) Your soldiers try to break the chains, but are ultimately unsuccessful.
(13=3=10) You do a victory dance anyway. Didn't do anything, but you feel better inside.
I tell my brain there's more where that came from if it doesn't get it together
(3) It refuses to listen. You feel yourself becoming a bit more stupid.
Zombie Lenin shambles around a bit.
New rule: All new players will join the game at 50 health.
Things are beginning to get strange...
![[party]](/images/smilies/partytime.gif "Party [party]")
