Side by side Niklas and ControlFreak made their way to the meeting.
Oh, yes, we could use you. Weve got an update meeting, and maybe this time we can find out something. Are you ready for it? asked Niklas.
Yes, I think so. I just have to unlearned all that Play the World stuff. This is so familiar, yet it doesnt feel right.
I know. You, me and CommandoBob, too, have all jumped up to Conquests. Zyxy was already here. And, well, it is different. I dont know how well we are doing, but we will learn and carry on.
So what are we up against this time?
CommandoBob talked us into ridding this world of someone named Dr. Evil and his Barbarian Empire. We thought it would be different from that Gandhi fiasco, but it hasnt worked out that way, said Niklas.
CommandoBob talks? asked ControlFreak.
Well, listens. Elizabeth has taken a liking to him, so he is gone a lot.
So what do we know about this Dr. Evil fellow?
Thats part of the problem, we just dont know. We hear rumors, but no facts. He seems to be more legend than a real person. Weve met our neighbors and while they dont like him they dont say much more than that. Weve got ships out looking for him and exploring. Were busy doing all the things we should but we still need more information.
So we know nothing about him but we want to get rid of him. Great. Growled ControlFreak.
Lets hope we learn something today, said Niklas as he opened the door to the meeting room. No news is not good news.
With this he ushered ControlFreak into the meeting room, where a large circular table took up most of the space.
A round table? exclaimed ControlFreak. What a cliché. How unexpected that we, being English, would have a round table. Who would have thought of that?
Hush. I think it is a bit extravagant but zyxy got this in as part of the trade of Alphabet to the Mayans. It has its uses. And he is proud of it. He even carved his name into it. See, right here, said Niklas pointing to a place on the table. Bending over ControlFreak read zyxy was here 2310 BC.
At this time other doors opened into the room and people began to stream in. Niklas and ControlFreak sat down and continued their discussion as the room filled. Their catching up was ended when slightly pudgy man with glasses entered the room and began banging on the table.
Alright, alright, lets get this thing started. First thing is roll call, to see if were all here. I think Im here, are you? Zyxy? asked CommandoBob.
Im not here.
Great. Marc Aurel?
Am I supposed to be here?
Of course not. McLMan?
Im in CIV.
Lucky you. Azzaman333?
Uh
Good enough. Niklas?
Oh, Im definitely not here and I have brought someone to prove that.
Great. Introduce your guest.
This is our newest member of the Smurkz Council. Allow me to introduce you to ControlFreak, Master of Micromanaging!
What?? I mean, ControlFreak, yerback! Great! I know youll be a big help to us. Let me bring you up to speed on where we are.
Ive just ended my turns. We became a Republic back in 1175 BC. The year now is 1000 BC. We have seven cities and we are in the capital city of Smurkzdon. We have 192 gold and 93 land tiles. We have the same number of cities as Sumeria and the same land area as the Incas. We are currently at -21 gpt.
We had on small boat out exploring, the Huzzah, and it was lost at sea. One of our own people, Sir Robin the Not-Quite-So-Brave-as-Sir Launcelot, was aboard the Huzzah, and we suspect that he too is lost.
What of his minstrels? asked Marc Aurel.
We fear that they have suffered the same fate as Sir Robin.
Well, first we get a new team mate and now we learn that Robins minstrels are lost at sea. Any more good news?
Yes. Sir Robins minstrels were lost at sea. Which is sort of sad, I had wanted to give them to Dr Evil as a gift from the English people. After all, were already at war.
At this point one of the meeting doors burst open and the Agitator Dennis rushed in, followed by guards chasing him. The guards stopped when they entered the room but Dennis jumped up on the table, where he began to address the meeting.
We're living in a dictatorship. A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working class...
zyxy jumped up on the table with his sword drawn and his eyes red.
Dennis of Palin, you have been warned before. There we be no escape this time, he said.
Oh, said Dennis, never at a loss for words, 'Come and see the violence inherent in the system. Help! Help! I'm being repressed!
McLMan had now risen and had drawn his bow with an arrow pointing at the agitator.
Dennis of Palin, hear my words well.' He paused. NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition.
This startled Dennis into silence. S-s-sspanish Inquisition? he managed to ask at last.
Fear and Surprise, Dennis, Fear and Surprise. Now your choices You decide. The Spanish Inquisition. Searching for Sir Robin. Or certain death now, said McLMan.
Dennis looked around the room and saw no sympathy. Ah, do I have to look for Sir Robins minstrels?
Bring them back and they shall be your minstrels, Niklas warned.
And you might want to watch out for this Dr. Evil character. He has some strange ideas on government. I understand he has a certain fondness for anarcho-syndicalist communes added CommandoBob.
Oh, he does, does he? Yes, said Dennis, staring at zyxys drawn sword, still inches away from his throat. I would most certainly avoid him. Um, when can I leave?
Within the hour. McLMan and zyxy will be your escort and Azzaman333 and Marc Aurel will lead you to a ship. Now go, said CommandoBob.
The agitator turned spy was escorted to the docks by four members of the Smurkz Council, leaving Niklas, ControlFreak and CommandoBob alone in the large room.
Well, even if it costs us a ship, his departure will make war weariness much easier to bear. By the way ControlFreak, did Niklas tell you we are making war plans? You came back at the right time.
So I see. Now tell me more about the state of England, if you please. And our enemies, of course.
Guards, bellowed Niklas. We need pizza, candles and bedding. Were gonna be here a long time.