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Shake and Then Throw Plastic or Resin Numbered Polyhedrons to Preside Over Segments of Planet Earth

Discussion in 'Imperium OffTopicum' started by Double A, Jun 26, 2019.

  1. Ailedhoo

    Ailedhoo wonderer

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    7,627
    Are you pledging your allegiance to the Emperor of Mann?

    Our fleets are the most mighty and will guard the seas from the evils of those who refuse to submit before the majesty of our pious Vannin III.
     
  2. jackelgull

    jackelgull An aberration of nature

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    Location:
    Within the realm of impossibility
    Remember us, so sing the dead
    Remember us, lest we remember you
    So sing the dead

    The Undead Army of the Vampire Coast under Luthor Harkon rise from Dave Jone's locker and land in Massachussetts. It doesn't cause much of a stir because everyone here is already dead on the inside.
     
    Thorvald of Lym likes this.
  3. Double A

    Double A ♫We got the guillotine♫

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    Hiatus over, game resuming. Will process orders next time I have a flat surface.
     
  4. Crezth

    Crezth 話說天下大勢分久必合合久必分

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    I claim all the oceans as the Kaiju faction, I am the kaijus. But don't worry I'm the good kaijus. I keep the earth clean. But in order to do that I need to trespass in the CenCom and I have no concept of trespassing.

    I send Gamera to plant forests on the land. CenCom you f**k with Gamera, you f**k with all kaijus. Only warning.
     
    Omega124 likes this.
  5. Omega124

    Omega124 Challenging Fate

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    I join as the wizard on the coast.

    I monopolize all dice and card games so everyone has to pay a fee to me to do an action
     
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  6. Ailedhoo

    Ailedhoo wonderer

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    The Imperium of Man will not make payments to heathen wizards.

    Instead you will pay a tribute of gold to our holy empire!
     
  7. Crezth

    Crezth 話說天下大勢分久必合合久必分

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    Kaiju have no concept of your "fees" and "payments." But we have deposited 10 tons of tuna fish on your front door.
     
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  8. Omega124

    Omega124 Challenging Fate

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    I humbly invite you to visit my court, where we will a totally impartial third party judge the ultimate state of our transaction.

    And by invite, I mean we're forcefully summoning you. See you there, you cheapskates.

    The wizard of the coast humbly accepts what is obviously used as money by society, and thanks you for your understanding of our intellectual property. We bid you good luck on keeping the earth clean.

    Unfortunately, my spells don't really "clean" things, but we *can* turn plastic and paper into gold! A very useful spell, if I can say so myself.
     
  9. Red_Spy

    Red_Spy Euphonium Player

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    Increase the size of Botswana by 10%.
     
    Thorvald of Lym and Crezth like this.
  10. Ailedhoo

    Ailedhoo wonderer

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    Invest in a elite squad to rescue the Emperor.
     
  11. JohannaK

    JohannaK Careless Whisperer

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    Bow to the Supreme Presidium of the Central Committee! I finally annex dicetopia.
     
  12. Kinich-Ahau

    Kinich-Ahau #JustGoomyThings

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    Reposting so my order doesn’t get missed.

    If I take over the army, arrest the ’old’ Comrade-President Supreme & take over the Central Committee
     
  13. Crezth

    Crezth 話說天下大勢分久必合合久必分

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  14. Double A

    Double A ♫We got the guillotine♫

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    12. I don't really know what you're trying to accomplish here but you accomplished it. Barely.
    14. All of NSW is organized in an extrapolation of the same pattern as Canberra.
    10. Well, you definitely claim it, but only the Welsh really jump on board.
    12. Your crack imperial rescue squad consists of longbow-wielding sheep riders.
    2. A "beauty is only skin deep" movement violently opposes you. Beware their moisturizer.
    8. Gamera doesn't actually know how to plant trees, so it grabs a bunch from a healthy forest. It then drops them.
    12. A board member of BoA's helicopter goes hurtling out of control and flies into a bunch of falling trees. It explodes.
    9. Nobody's paying attention. You don't have enough licenses.
    8. Botswana is embiggened but it breaks off and joins Namibia. That stupid panhandle is now twice as large.

    3. When demonstrating how to correctly bow to your subordinates, your back gives out.
     
  15. Ailedhoo

    Ailedhoo wonderer

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    Orders

    1) set the squad to save the emperor from the evil wizard

    2) annex Ulster
     
  16. Omega124

    Omega124 Challenging Fate

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    Hey smarty, just because we declared our intent to see you in our court, doesn't mean we actually saw you in court.

    Although you know, would make it far easier for us if you just came.

    I cast a spell, "media blitz", to attract the attention of all the good people of this world.
     
  17. Ailedhoo

    Ailedhoo wonderer

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    Are you questioning the holy judgement of the Imperium of Man?
     
  18. NinjaCow64

    NinjaCow64 The Continuation of the Dream Supporter

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  19. Omega124

    Omega124 Challenging Fate

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    Hey, corporations wizards are people, and nationalizing us is tantamount to slavery.

    If you pursue this further, we will see you in our court.
     
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  20. Red_Spy

    Red_Spy Euphonium Player

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    Turn the flag of Malaysia upside down.
     
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