Shake and Then Throw Plastic or Resin Numbered Polyhedrons to Preside Over Segments of Planet Earth

The washington died. It was very sad.
 
The washington died. It was very sad.
Of course Washington has passed from this mortal coil - He did a long time ago. But afterwards, he ascended into the heavens to become the One True Divine Protector of The Multiverse, Earth, Mankind and America. That is indisputable truth.
 
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GODZILLA ANNOUNCES HIS CANDIDACY FOR PRESIDENCY OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA



"DOES YOUR REPRESENTATIVE HAVE ATOMIC BREATH?"

Vote early, vote often!
 
This is a disgusting revisionist experiment and the Presidium of the Central Committee for the General Assembly decrees it is outlawed.
 
This is a disgusting revisionist experiment and the Presidium of the Central Committee for the General Assembly decrees it is outlawed.
Your 'Central Committe' and its tyrrany shall not exist forever, and neither shall the perfidious Mann imperium. True Democracy and the light of Washington shall prevail over all!
 
Sic semperis tyrannis!
1: Tyrants get -10 on rolls next round.

Please inform me if you are a tyrant so I can penalize you.

We must train new missionaries to spread and evangelize the word of the Holy Washington, teaching them the Faith's doctrines and reinforcing their zeal will surely allow them to convert the Saberists back into the light of Washington.

Clearly, the death of the Manx emperor is a sign from the Holy Washington that the end of the vile Manx autocrats is imminent. Their false Saber will not protect them, for she does not exist - only Washington does, standing as the eternal guard of our Republic against those who would undermine it! Redouble our efforts to convert those unfortunate souls who still cling to Saber.
96: if you are reading this, you are now Americanist

The Bisons have failed dramatically in their campaigns and their logistical recuperation - the officers in charge of said regiment must be dismissed and new, more competent and faithful officers put in their place.
77: The people responsible for this failure have been sacked. Their replacements confer a +3 bonus on murder, logistics, and murder logistics.

In addition, the enemies of the Republic seem to be multiplying, and the burden of these wars on our economy is straining it. Measures must be taken to ensure that our economy can continue to sustain our nation as well as our military-industrial complex with investments into new industries concentrated around the rebuilding area of Maryland. These cleared areas will be the beating heart of a new industrial base for our nation.
97: the poors now have jobs supporting the wholesale massacre of other poors. They are very happy. Make that +3 bonus up there a +5.
We shall send our new navy forth to deal with our enemies - the First and Second Washington Fleets will be sent forth to sink the Vampire vessels at sea, and the First Athena shall harass the coast of New York, raiding Vampire bases and liberating and escorting those under the Vampiric thumb.
17+5 I guess: I haven't been paying enough attention to know what you're talking about but you can't find any. The opposite is not true, however. Now you only have the First and the Half fleets. -3 on naval actions til you recover.
We shall once again try to establish a new science department in order to research a way to better combat the Vampires - they seem to be becoming more and more powerful on the land, and so they must be stopped before much longer.
25: you bring your nerds what you think is a dead vampire, but it was sleeping. It enthralls half your science department and buggers off. You're probably gonna need to import some smarticles, while the vamps are pretty set with a +2 science bonus.
Finally, the Washington Guard will remain around our Capital, its engineering detachments building temples and facilities for the Holy Washington...
32+5: They get drunk and knock over some statues. The media is shocked and outraged. Have fun dealing with the scandal before it blows up!
and the 202nd will organize the local resistance forces that assisted their invasion into a National Guard unit that will protect Newfoundland from any further Manx incursions as they make ready to take the fight to Canada!
15: You succeed in creating resistance groups. You do not succeed in creating friendly resistance groups. The New Eriksonians demand you sod off.
Elections are coming soon for our holy Democracy, and a new President may soon come to power. Surveys must be completed, the electorate educated on the potential candidates, and the balloting areas secured so that all those who accept the Holy Washington, no matter their origin, race, or gender, will be able to vote for the new President of the Union.
94: aside from Newfoundland, pretty much everyone is going to vote, and the majority of folks like where things are going right now

Heh.
Raise the Jolly Roger and give the US navy or whatever they call themselves a spanking and make their ships and crew mine. They’ll be shivering their timbers whenever they hear the name Luther Harkonen from now on
27: while you already turned half of the Half Fleet, they uncontrollably laugh to the point of ineffectiveness whenever they hear your name and are a total liability in combat. -4 penatly til you do something about that.
Call the rotting leviathans from the deep to lay assault to the shores of our enemies
15: "GLUB GLUB GLUB?" translation: "HOW BOUT I ASSAULT YOURS INSTEAD?"
No self respecting pirate be sailing the seas without rum, assault the Caribbeas for their delicious rum
23-4: apparently none of your pirates are self-respecting

We’re the Vampire Coast what the hell are we doing with land that isn’t a coast! Abandon positions of everything outside of the city of New York and establish control over the coast of the Northeast. Massachusetts will bow to us!
47-4: eh I'll just give you this one since you're ditching land
You risk rising the god of the seas, Manannan?!
this is a great picture
Hah! See!? Those unholy devils use their faith in Saber as a lie in order to hold up their empire, as a mystery cult to cover up their true misbelief in false heathen idols! The Holy Washington will stand above all others, in the end!View attachment 533172
24: just keep telling yourself that, hoss
make washington's dentures suffer a critical failure, therefore derailing the american experiment
59: termites have invaded Washington's teeth
The washington died. It was very sad.
25: nobody was sad because nobody died

poor nobody
Of course Washington has passed from this mortal coil - He did a long time ago. But afterwards, he ascended into the heavens to become the One True Divine Protector of The Multiverse, Earth, Mankind and America. That is indisputable truth.
33: [citation needed]
GODZILLA ANNOUNCES HIS CANDIDACY FOR PRESIDENCY OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA



"DOES YOUR REPRESENTATIVE HAVE ATOMIC BREATH?"

Vote early, vote often!
96: people seem very responsive to godzilla's message. It's gonna be a tight race.
electoralism i can agree with
84: same tbh
This is a disgusting revisionist experiment and the Presidium of the Central Committee for the General Assembly decrees it is outlawed.
27: they hated Jesus because he was right

The revisionists launch massive pushback on the Central Committee
Your 'Central Committe' and its tyrrany shall not exist forever, and neither shall the perfidious Mann imperium. True Democracy and the light of Washington shall prevail over all!
63: and to that end I can be easily convinced to apply the tyranny penalty to the central committee next turn
 
In light of this: I wish to note that there has been a malfunction at the Project Wardrobe site in Iceland and...

The Imperium of Man wishes to declare that they deny that a army of orcs, minotaurs, goblins, kobolds and other fantastic beings have sprung through a portal and be leaded by a draconic daddy magus who is currently attempting to take over Iceland. These tales are clearly the invention of dissidents and we urge people to not pay attention to clearly faked videos of dragons flying across from Iceland to Scotland. These rumours are totally false and the Imperium of Man has total control in Iceland. The Emperor, who is clearly the Chosen One, will guide us all in our heroic efforts against the Americans and the Soviets as we strive to unite the world under the order and peace of Mann!

Praise the Emperor!
 
The revisionists are now the Central Committee. Revision this!
 


With elections prepared and readied to select the President for the next four years, we shall ensure that the elections held are free and fair, and that all, regardless of race, gender, sexuality, or any other factor, so long as they follow the Holy Washington, will be able to vote and elect a new President of the Union. Democracy shall finally begin in earnest!

In the meantime, however, there is some business to settle. The Washington Guard have been unruly and undisciplined, and so they must be reined in and a public show should be made to show the world we take their drunken rampage seriously and that we will not tolerate indiscipline among our standing forces. Discipline and order must be instilled in our men, lest they fail to serve our country in its times of need.

With Newfoundland under threat by heretics still seeking to rejoin their blasphemous Saber, we shall send the Airborne unit deployed there to exploit the cracks in the resistance movement we created to dismantle the heretics and build up support from those among the populace who converted to the Faith.

Our navy has suffered a catastrophic defeat, and must regroup. Send the half-strength fleet to repair, reinforce, and replenish, and hopefully its new battle experience against the Vampires will give us an edge against them. The First Fleet shall cover their retreat.

It seems science cabinet after science cabinet has been failing to provide any meaningful advances in our goals and even has even hampered us... Perhaps it would be prudent to outsource the job to a private research organization, and to fund them in exchange for them researching ways to defeat the Vampires for us. Capitalism can be useful sometimes.

With the Vampires retreating from their mainlands, now is the Bisons' chance! Launch a new campaign into the lands of the Vampire Coast with the replenished Bisons, and drive the stake into the heart of the vampiric menace! Without a coastline, their navy cannot be supplied, and will slowly sink to the bottom of the sea!

Finally, we shall construct a great Cathedral using our streamlined logistics and industrial strength to establish a mighty edifice to the Holy Washington, hopefully allowing more heretics to be converted to His light and to drive away the Saberists on every front! This massive temple will surely win us the favor of the Holy Washington, and so He will guide us to victory in our just wars!
 
for this extra special update I will be using actual dice instead of random dot organization
I mean I'm pretty sure I used to do that too but this time you know I'm doing it
In light of this: I wish to note that there has been a malfunction at the Project Wardrobe site in Iceland and...

The Imperium of Man wishes to declare that they deny that a army of orcs, minotaurs, goblins, kobolds and other fantastic beings have sprung through a portal and be leaded by a draconic daddy magus who is currently attempting to take over Iceland. These tales are clearly the invention of dissidents and we urge people to not pay attention to clearly faked videos of dragons flying across from Iceland to Scotland. These rumours are totally false and the Imperium of Man has total control in Iceland. The Emperor, who is clearly the Chosen One, will guide us all in our heroic efforts against the Americans and the Soviets as we strive to unite the world under the order and peace of Mann!

Praise the Emperor!
62: most people think the obvious fantasy army is an attraction at a new amusement park. The rest are too excited to care about the possibility of being eaten by a dragon daddy or maybe that's why they're excited
71: congratulations you have learned to read over the past 3.5 months. Your mother and I are very proud of you.
The revisionists are now the Central Committee. Revision this!
63: What are you talking about? The revisionists have always been the central committee.


With elections prepared and readied to select the President for the next four years, we shall ensure that the elections held are free and fair, and that all, regardless of race, gender, sexuality, or any other factor, so long as they follow the Holy Washington, will be able to vote and elect a new President of the Union. Democracy shall finally begin in earnest!
67: your commitment to democracy dot jpeg is admirable and wins you the star wars contingency's vote. +3 to election roll.

In the meantime, however, there is some business to settle. The Washington Guard have been unruly and undisciplined, and so they must be reined in and a public show should be made to show the world we take their drunken rampage seriously and that we will not tolerate indiscipline among our standing forces. Discipline and order must be instilled in our men, lest they fail to serve our country in its times of need.
39: Those responsible for disciplining the Washington Guard failed to turn up to work because they were too busying out partying with the Washington Guard.

There is now a scandal. It is blowing up.

gg no re
With Newfoundland under threat by heretics still seeking to rejoin their blasphemous Saber, we shall send the Airborne unit deployed there to exploit the cracks in the resistance movement we created to dismantle the heretics and build up support from those among the populace who converted to the Faith.
41+5: The New Eriksonians reiterate their demands. "Final warning," says the soundbite.
Our navy has suffered a catastrophic defeat, and must regroup. Send the half-strength fleet to repair, reinforce, and replenish, and hopefully its new battle experience against the Vampires will give us an edge against them. The First Fleet shall cover their retreat.
47+5: Well, the good news is it gets away. The bad news is the First Fleet has gotten itself stuck in the poodoo.
It seems science cabinet after science cabinet has been failing to provide any meaningful advances in our goals and even has even hampered us... Perhaps it would be prudent to outsource the job to a private research organization, and to fund them in exchange for them researching ways to defeat the Vampires for us. Capitalism can be useful sometimes.
60: wtf it works? I didn't mean to set out to validate capitalism today but I guess I just did
With the Vampires retreating from their mainlands, now is the Bisons' chance! Launch a new campaign into the lands of the Vampire Coast with the replenished Bisons, and drive the stake into the heart of the vampiric menace! Without a coastline, their navy cannot be supplied, and will slowly sink to the bottom of the sea!
59+5: You don't fully route them, but they are extremely hard-pressed, which means their navy is now hard-pressed too.
Finally, we shall construct a great Cathedral using our streamlined logistics and industrial strength to establish a mighty edifice to the Holy Washington, hopefully allowing more heretics to be converted to His light and to drive away the Saberists on every front! This massive temple will surely win us the favor of the Holy Washington, and so He will guide us to victory in our just wars!
16: The Washington Guard knock the construction machinery into a ravine. Wait, did I say knock? I meant ride. major_kong.yeehaw
 
The Washington Guard are just a figment of your imagination.
 
We have always been at war with Eastasia
 
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