hobbsyoyo
Deity
- Joined
- Jul 13, 2012
- Messages
- 26,575
There are few things in this world that stand shoulder to shoulder with the works of Mozart or Shakespeare. Fewer still are the exceedingly rare gifts of genius that stand head and shoulders above them. In the past few years we have been blessed, you and I, to live in a time where two such works exist so that we may enjoy them in their contemporary setting.
Contemporary? you wonder? Yes, contemporary. We cannot overlook the fact that many great works of art lose some of their artistic value over time. Reading the works of Shakespeare leaves many scholars scratching their heads as to what exactly such-and-such turns of phrase actually meant. Imagine uttering the phrase 'baby daddy' to someone in the year 3000AD. It seems perfectly sensible to us here and now but there is nothing to say that this must always be the case.
Thus, every work of art before about 1980 has basically zero artistic merit as it is so outdated and irrelevant to our current time that nothing can redeem it. You simply can't expect the modern consumer to appreciate a Van Gogh painting - there wasn't even an internet or Prozac back then, both of which would have helped him not make such crappy paintings.
So what do we have to look toward for inspiration and enlightenment?
Gallipoli and Prometheus
(in case you hadn't already guessed it)
Gallipoli
Gallipoli is a fantastic piece of historical fiction set in Australia (with montages set in Egypt) ca 1981. At this point in his career, Mel Gibson was just a young man trying to find out his place in the acting world. Though there may have been a few less than stellar performances up until this point in his filmography we can chalk this up to the fact that he was stuck stranded in the Australian outback during this period, far removed from his native Hollywood habitat. We also note that the distinct lack of Jews in the Outback probably also negatively effected his output as the jew-lack depressed his anger which is so central to the emotionality of his performances.
But in Gallipoli, the furious orgy of violence and patriotism that spill across the silver screen like a hot load of love juice really put Gibson in his element. For the first time he can show the world he is the patriot of patriots, fighting for freeeeeeeedom. Make no mistake, this film was his debut on the world stage of entertainment. Oh and there was that other guy in the movie and he died and that's really sad.
Now there has been a bit of unnecessary attacks on this movie in this very forum. I think that these attacks are born of jealousy and are entirely unwarranted. The movie speaks for itself as the pinnacle of drama, heroism and bareback wrestling matches following steamy runs through the Egyptian desert so I won't spend too much time on these lame-ass attacks. I would like to address some of the more egregious though in hopes of putting the trolls in their place:
This didn't move you? Really?
How does it feel waking up everyday as a Nazi? Do your ZombieAIDS hurt when you pee?
This scene (for serial) destroyed me. The only thing that could have had more of an emotional impact was if it had been Mel Gibson who heroically sacrificed himself for the glory of the Australian Empire and not Extra 3.
Yes, Mel gave me wood. I don't see your issue here.
Oh ye little faith, just remember when you watch the other great masterpieces Braveheart and The Patriot that they couldn't have happened without Gallipoli first.
Prometheus
The people who hate this movie just don't have 3D HDTV's so they don't get the full genius affect which is a sloppy excuse when you get down to it. If you feel entitled to crap on Prometheus then you can at least do what all the civilized people do and pull up your big boy bootstraps and march down to RadioShack, buy the components and put together a 3D HDTV you worthless parasite. Otherwise you shouldn't watch it and should gtfo.
Obviously some people also had problems trying to follow the fast-past, complex and extraordinarily deep plot. They keep trying to make up invented and contrived 'plot holes' because they can't understand the full brilliance.
It's futuristic alien bio-warfare genetic engineering people. It's really not rocket science and I wish you would all read a damn book and try and keep up. I shouldn't have to walk you through from the beginning where they find the cave painting of an alien juggling balls all the way through to the alien abortion ATM machine. It's frustrating that you won't even pretend to like the movie just to seem cool.
It's like everyone's a hipster douche that hates on the movie because they think that's what the cool people are doing.
News flash people: SO MANY PEOPLE HATE THIS MOVIE THAT ONLY THE ACTUAL COOL PEOPLE LIKE IT ANYMORE.
What's not to like about such a suspenseful story?
Did these scenes fail to send shivers down your spine? If so then you should get that checked because you are probably gay.
With a case of ZombieAIDS - of this I'm HIV-positive.
I really hope the trolls stay home today because I do intend for this to be the an academic-level discussion of the cellulitic filmographic emotionality induced by these two phenomenal works of art.
Contemporary? you wonder? Yes, contemporary. We cannot overlook the fact that many great works of art lose some of their artistic value over time. Reading the works of Shakespeare leaves many scholars scratching their heads as to what exactly such-and-such turns of phrase actually meant. Imagine uttering the phrase 'baby daddy' to someone in the year 3000AD. It seems perfectly sensible to us here and now but there is nothing to say that this must always be the case.
Thus, every work of art before about 1980 has basically zero artistic merit as it is so outdated and irrelevant to our current time that nothing can redeem it. You simply can't expect the modern consumer to appreciate a Van Gogh painting - there wasn't even an internet or Prozac back then, both of which would have helped him not make such crappy paintings.
So what do we have to look toward for inspiration and enlightenment?
Gallipoli and Prometheus
(in case you hadn't already guessed it)
Gallipoli
Gallipoli is a fantastic piece of historical fiction set in Australia (with montages set in Egypt) ca 1981. At this point in his career, Mel Gibson was just a young man trying to find out his place in the acting world. Though there may have been a few less than stellar performances up until this point in his filmography we can chalk this up to the fact that he was stuck stranded in the Australian outback during this period, far removed from his native Hollywood habitat. We also note that the distinct lack of Jews in the Outback probably also negatively effected his output as the jew-lack depressed his anger which is so central to the emotionality of his performances.
But in Gallipoli, the furious orgy of violence and patriotism that spill across the silver screen like a hot load of love juice really put Gibson in his element. For the first time he can show the world he is the patriot of patriots, fighting for freeeeeeeedom. Make no mistake, this film was his debut on the world stage of entertainment. Oh and there was that other guy in the movie and he died and that's really sad.
Now there has been a bit of unnecessary attacks on this movie in this very forum. I think that these attacks are born of jealousy and are entirely unwarranted. The movie speaks for itself as the pinnacle of drama, heroism and bareback wrestling matches following steamy runs through the Egyptian desert so I won't spend too much time on these lame-ass attacks. I would like to address some of the more egregious though in hopes of putting the trolls in their place:
Parody? Do you listen to Beethoven's Fifth and laugh out loud you uncultured bafoon? (Not that the Fifth is relevant anymore because it's pre-Lady GaGa but you know what I mean)
This didn't move you? Really?
How does it feel waking up everyday as a Nazi? Do your ZombieAIDS hurt when you pee?
This scene (for serial) destroyed me. The only thing that could have had more of an emotional impact was if it had been Mel Gibson who heroically sacrificed himself for the glory of the Australian Empire and not Extra 3.
Yes, Mel gave me wood. I don't see your issue here.
You can't go over drama.
Says the guy who thinks the Polaroid was a good camera.
Is there even such a thing as an overlong schlock when it comes to Gibson?
Oh ye little faith, just remember when you watch the other great masterpieces Braveheart and The Patriot that they couldn't have happened without Gallipoli first.
Prometheus
The people who hate this movie just don't have 3D HDTV's so they don't get the full genius affect which is a sloppy excuse when you get down to it. If you feel entitled to crap on Prometheus then you can at least do what all the civilized people do and pull up your big boy bootstraps and march down to RadioShack, buy the components and put together a 3D HDTV you worthless parasite. Otherwise you shouldn't watch it and should gtfo.
Obviously some people also had problems trying to follow the fast-past, complex and extraordinarily deep plot. They keep trying to make up invented and contrived 'plot holes'
because they can't understand the full brilliance.It's futuristic alien bio-warfare genetic engineering people. It's really not rocket science and I wish you would all read a damn book and try and keep up. I shouldn't have to walk you through from the beginning where they find the cave painting of an alien juggling balls all the way through to the alien abortion ATM machine. It's frustrating that you won't even pretend to like the movie just to seem cool.
It's like everyone's a hipster douche that hates on the movie because they think that's what the cool people are doing.
News flash people: SO MANY PEOPLE HATE THIS MOVIE THAT ONLY THE ACTUAL COOL PEOPLE LIKE IT ANYMORE.
What's not to like about such a suspenseful story?
Did these scenes fail to send shivers down your spine? If so then you should get that checked because you are probably gay.
With a case of ZombieAIDS - of this I'm HIV-positive.
I really hope the trolls stay home today because I do intend for this to be the an academic-level discussion of the cellulitic filmographic emotionality induced by these two phenomenal works of art.
