The HEhe HAha Joke Thread 2.0

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Apr 12, 2008
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Hitler went to a fortuneteller and asked her, "On what day will I die?"
The seeress assured him that he would die on a Jewish Holiday.
"Why are you so sure of that?" demanded Hitler.
Spoiler :
"Any day", she replied, "on which you die will be a Jewish holiday"
 
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Apr 12, 2008
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Kid 1: "I bet you're still a virgin."
Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night."
Kid 1: "As if."
Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."
Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."
Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
 

Aiken_Drumn

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To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
 

Serutan

Eatibus Anythingibus
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Feb 20, 2002
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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they laid down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.” Watson replied, “I see millions and millions of stars.” “What does that tell you?” Watson pondered for a minute. “Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies, and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?” Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. “It tells me that someone has stolen our tent.”
 
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