The Holy Religion Of Chipism

[cIVpassIVe]

May Chip speed your way, great Bengeance, and may He protect thee from harm of bear or wolf. May he clear your path through the glen, and may he rise your feet above the rushing waters of all rivers.

In His benevolence, he has chosen you to bring us Horse. May your endeavor be blessed and fruitful.

Now go, spread the Word of Chip, and the bounty which is His, to all those who are in need of all things awesome and rad! (Makes the sign of the Chip and gives Bengeance a cask of his own Passe's Porter)

 

[Bengeance]

The 2nd Vision of Bengeance

1)Many days had I traveled on my wandering path. I don't know how long I had traveled only that someday I would find the Horse Plains. Then as I finished my prayers to Chip I saw someone moving in the distance. The figured approached me from the west, the direction of the Sea of Chip, that holy sea formed by the tears of Chip in ancient times.

2)The figure approached me and called to me. "Hail and Welcome Bengeance. I was told that you would pass this way. I do not wish to delay your travels only to greet you and tell you that you do not travel alone. Chip has spoken to me and instructed me to deliver a gift to you and to pronouce a blessing upon you."

3)Then, amazed, I asked the man who he was. he told me "I am cIVpassIVe, prophet of Chip and High Priest of Boaring Wallow. Soon, I will make my presence known to the city of thy birth but first I was instructed to visit with you."

4)Great was the wisdom and guidance of Chip to send to me someone to aid my journey and give me direction. I asked the prophet if he knew the way I was to follow. "That I don't know good friend, but I give you this gift and this blessing to speed you on your way."

5)"May Chip speed your way, great Bengeance, and may He protect thee from harm of bear or wolf. May he clear your path through the glen, and may he rise your feet above the rushing waters of all rivers."

6)"In His benevolence, he has chosen you to bring us Horse. May your endeavor be blessed and fruitful. Now go, spread the Word of Chip, and the bounty which is His, to all those who are in need of all things awesome and rad!"

7)Then did he make the sign of Chip before me and give me a small barrel containing a sweet smelling liquid. He would not say more and I did not press him for I knew he followed the visions given to him by Chip. The prophet cIVpassIVe left me and I sat down to contemplate what had happened.

8)As the day waned and dusk settled over the land I was struck by a deep thirst. Seeing no spring or lake and finding my waterskin empty I was left to breach the barrel the prophet had given me. The first smell was like the aroma of life itself, full, sweet, and lively. Dipping my hands into the liquid I took a drink.

9)A strange euphoria came over me and I was immediately carried into another vision. This time it was not the Horse which I saw but a beautiful woman. She glowed with an inner radience that bit deep into my heart. When she spoke her voice whispered like the slightest breath of wind against my face.

10)"Bengeance, Mighty Chip has sent me to you. It is you who will reveal me to the peoples of this world. You will be my emmisary and my servant. You will help me shape this world and bring the gifts of the gods into the lives of men. You will know me as Alvaro. I will lead you on your path and I will guide your hand. Through you will much be revealed that is now hidden. Rest well and think upon what I have told you when you wake."

11)When I woke I saw that the cask given to me by the prophet was empty. I knew that it had given me this vision. I knew that it had been blessed by the hand the prophet and by the will of Chip. I bore up the empty shell and carried it on with me. I knew it's purpose was not yet finished.

12)Alvaro visited me several times as I continued my journey and much did I learn from her. I learned that she was the Goddess of Horses and the daughter of Harocht and Papirus. I knew I was just learning the extent of her domain but much time remained on my journey. Many other things did I learn, but those belong to another time and another story.

 

[Swissempire]

Bengeance, i bestow upon you the preistship of city 2. Go forth into the world. You are currently in line for Sainthood. The book of Bengeance will be compiled tommorow!

Wow, Bengeance, good stuff

 

[cIVpassIVe]

The Myth of Manditon
(As discoverd on an ancient stone tablet)

1:1 It is assumed, though Chip has not revealed it directly to his followers, that he is immortal. For his life spans greater than the heavens, and while his patience is not infinite, his benevolence has no end.

1:2 When Chip created humanity, in his limitless foresight, he cut the strings of our unnatural longevity and gave us the gift of mortality.

1:3 Mortality is rightly a gift. For life on this planet is difficult, and full of toil and strife. While Micalian, Lord of Enjoyment, brings us that which is awesome and bestows upon us the Holy “Rad,” it is simply not enough to overcome the shortfalls of our current lives.

1:4 That is why Chip also gave us the gift of Perosofo, the Perfect Paradise. It is more wondrous than can be described and exceeds every imaginable pleasure (no, really, it does)!

1:5 Perosofo is so wonderful, in fact, many of our ancestors were doing everything within their power to get there as fast as possible. Humans were wrestling with bears, conducting unsafe experiments with fire and precariously stacking huge stones into building without mortar.

1:6 What many of our ancestors did not realize was that the Omegacat is a crafty and jealous Lord. Chip quickly realized too many humans were willingly expiring before they had a chance to prove themselves through good works and mighty deeds. Consequently, the Omegacat was taking many of our forefathers for his own, denying them a chance to reach Perosofo or be reincarnated.

1:7 It was then that Chip, through his almighty wisdom, created Mandition, the God of Common Sense.

1:8 Chip gave Mandition charge over his humans, and bade Mandition to protect us from doing that which is ill-advised or foolhardy. Through Mandition, humans began to shy away from that which caused an early exit from this planet, and thusly Omegacat was foiled by the mighty Chip.

1:9 Mandition, as testament to his great and mighty deeds, as well as his useful advice, is known today as the Holy Protector of Life.

 

[Tubby Rower]

Who is this Chip??? Bob will be very upset. Don't come crying to me later because I told you.

 

[cIVpassIVe]

Who is this Chip??? Bob will be very upset. Don't come crying to me later because I told you.

Essentially:

Basic Beliefs:

The World which we inhabit was created by the One True and Holy Chip, Creator of The universe and all of its planes! Chip inhabited our planet with his spiritual essence and is our world.

Chipism is a Henotheistic relgion, because while Chip is the One King/Creator, we also believe in a vast system of Major and Minor Deities. Our religion is evolving, with gods being dicovered, our mythology (only oral until we discover writing), people ascending, beleifs changing. In time, there may even be Sects of Chipism.

Chipism is an Inclusivistic Religon, which means we regonize other religions EXCEPT FOR ROBOPIG-WORSHIP and don't neccarly label them false. The current official message is that all religons are somehow linked to Chip We regonize the First Church of State as a religious entity.

This a constantly evolving religion, totally creative in nature. Anyone can join, worship, particape, add new beleif and all that jazz.

Hopefully many converts to come!

Tell us more of this Bob, so that we may assimilate him into our beliefs!

 

[Tubby Rower]

Bob will reign supreme. He is the grand idiot that taught AK. He was the original idiot. He has achieved what no other has. He will not be assimilated.

For more on him consult the Great Thrashbag's exploits in the last installment of Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker series. It's great stuff.

Bob will take care of us. What has Chip done for you lately.... padded your post count? That's marbles to Bob.

 

[GeorgeOP]

Have we built a worship site yet? We have plenty of places to pray to the other Gods, but I have not seen a place to worship for Chip.

Bob was the one that gathered all of Chip's tears, bound them together, and created the Seas. He is Bob in the Water, God of all things liquid. His grandmother's best friend's second cousin once was friends with Chip's nephew. That is how they are related.

 

[Bengeance]

We believe that Chip lives on an island in the Sea of Chip. We pray towards this island. However we currently have not built any shrines, alters, or temples to the worship of Chip. Perhaps you have an appropriate place for such buildings??

 

[cIVpassIVe]

A thousand pardons, gents, I make no offer to offend.

It appears the Lemuellans and Licentians have much in common (although, if we could get some of those Perfectly Normal Beasts they have, we'd have a much better diet than just straight swine all day).

This appears less of a case of assimilation, and more of a case of mistaken identity. It is highly possible, though not certain, that Chip and Bob may, in fact, be two different names for the very same omniscent entity, or, at least, two different personalities of the same. He reveals himself as Bob to you and Old Thrashbarg, and as Chip to us.

As for a place of worship, we Chipists find our current sanctuary amongst His creations: the trees, the stones and the waters. One day, we hope to have a right temple of our own, but as for now we get by with what we have.

Thanks for your interest and while you're here have a pint of Passe's Porter on the house.

 

[Tubby Rower]

Could very well be. But I am more comfortable with Chip's shortened name of Bob. As governor of BW, I shall attempt to build a shrine of some sort to Bob. Chipists may worship there as the mystics and shamen have analyzed the properties of each diety and determined that they very well could be the same entity.

 

[cIVpassIVe]

Thank you for your kind offer, Honorable Tubby Rower, religious tolerance is the mark of a strong leader. I, as Head Chipist Priest of Boaring Wallow, support you in your endeavor to erect a religious temple and will lend whatever tools I have at my disposal toward helping you to accomplish that goal.

EDIT: Okay, strike the religious tolerance thing (see Post #54). We'll settle for a little peace and harmony

 

[Swissempire]

offical ruling on the Bobian Heresy:

As meditated on the Coast of the Sea of Chip, i let Secea's sweet waves was over me, and Kilagrio's sweet sands massage me. But suddenly a Thunder storm came, and lighting struck all around me. It struck the small wooden hut i used for worship, and it caught on fire, it struck around me, but i was not afraid, as i knew i was destined for Peresofo.

After it passes, i walked to the hill and gazed upon the ashes. They formed an arrow pointing west. I gazed westward towards the beach i had been meditating on, and there lying in the sand was a writing made of sand fused into beautiful glass that spelled out:

Chip ≥ Bob

On that site a am constructing a temple of Marble and stone, brought by a caravan of Jungle people from Gar-men-eeee. I thanked them, and sacrificed them to Kilagrio and Secea. The ruleing is made, and the Temple of Water and Sand is under construction.

 

[Tubby Rower]

Oh I see how it is.... Bob has provided Perfectly normal beast since the beginning of time and now you show him this disrespect???

I refuse to acknowledge SwissEmpire as a citizen of Boaring Wallow. Furthermore, unless SwissEmpire renounces his former statement, there will be no Chip temples in Boaring Wallow while I am the Governor!!!

The Temple of water and sand should be at the bottom of the sea as this heretic should be!!!

 

[Whomp]

MP's march in.

Now, now great citizens. Let cooler heads prevail!

It is a little known fact that "a" Bob is the creator. Check the Firaxis website. He made all the worlds. However, religious tolerance of all faiths must be preserved.

 

[Swissempire]

*possed by some random demon* Yo, we ain't gots no beef with bob.*unpossesed* The symbol is Greater than of EQUAL TO. Therefore, you can make your choice. Your choice seems to be equal, and my choice is surrounded by mysteries, mists and math. Divine insight is not my juristiction brouha, just my affliction


Hope this is all in good fun

Chip and with me

 

[Swissempire]

MP's march in.

Now, now great citizens. Let cooler heads prevail!

It is a little known fact that "a" Bob is the creator. Check the Firaxis website. He made all the worlds. However, religious tolerance of all faiths must be preserved.

Sweet, more reason to draw parrallels. We respect Bob, but call him by his true name..... Chip, which if you want to get really technical is actually just how we pronounce his omnipotent name. If i really pronounced it i would explode in a flash of blinding light, and all would forget i ever existed, unless you found my posts.

Some say this happened to Alphawolf ( THough it is also speculated that in the end, he was not Alphawolf, but infact an incarnation of the OMEGACAT!!!)

 

[Tubby Rower]

Please pronounce the name then

 

[cIVpassIVe]

Much thanks to you, General Whomp, may Manditon forever protect you from harm on the battlefield. Persecution is the affliction of any devout worshiper, and while we may one day attain a society that embraces a "free religion," where all are treated equal regardless of their beliefs, we understand that not everyone will share our passion and reverence for the Almighty Chip.

I respect the Honorable Tubby Rower for his conviction and faith in the Almighty Bob, and ask that we may coexist in harmony. Please allow Swissempire to continue to thrive in the community, and let us build our religious alter in peace. The only one who benefits from such ill will is the Omegacat himself, who thrives on discord and strife.

In the end, faith in Chipism is not an attempt to "pad post counts" or attack others for their differing beliefs or lack thereof, but to come to a more full and enjoyable RPG experience within the civilization of Licentia and share this enjoyment with the community.

(Makes the sign of Chip) Now, let's all have a Pint of Passe's Porter and get back to enjoying whatever it was we were enjoying before this little row.

 

[Bengeance]

I would respectfully request that our Prophet cIVpassIVe please give us a more detailed description of the Sign of Chip so that all of his followers may better engage in his worship.