The Joke Leaders Thread

[SmithRobloxian]

Since we have our share of the good leader ideas, why not post our bad ones? Just use a leader from a existing Civilization and give him/her bad traits, which at best is equal to India. I'll start out with two:

is doubled when Gold per Turn is below zero*, conquered cities risk liberating themselves when the country is ** and all naval units suffers a 50% decrease in and quadruple upkeep cost when outside friendly territory.*** Each city produces two horses after researching Horseback Riding and gains a 100% bonus when constructing Conquistadors.****

*He ran Spain into bankruptcy four times, FOUR, TIMES.
**Ol' Silent 'Fancy-Pants' William and his Netherland is where this came from
***Those Armadas aren't good for either the war or the country's gold, yet he built them... No wonder he bankrupt Spain.
****Everything can't be bad, right? At least Spain was at the top of it's power and had lots of oversea land during his rule.

After reaching the Industrial Era,* all cities on the continents with the most cities under your control will be converted to American, or a random Civilization not in the game if America is already in the game.** (The continent which the Capital is on is excluded) 25% bonus to both and on cities founded on continents other than where England started.***

*It's a bit late, but it's better than just another unhappiness flaw.
**What were you expecting? It's called 'Declaration of Revolution' for a reason...
***This is just to get you to found cities on other continents, as well as giving a better start for when they rebel, and also kinda reference how the British Empire just went and colonized the rest of the world.


These are my ideas, I hope you all can give 'better' ones...

 

[MerchantCo]

Roman Empire [Decadence]

-2 production and +2 happiness for each Colloseum.

(As)syria [Rebellion of Nineveh]

Nine rebel units appear near capital as soon as happiness dips below zero.

 

[MerchantCo]

UB: World Trade Center: Can only build in 2nd city, In year 2001, gets knocked down, Replaces Broadcast Tower

It should replace the stock market

 

[MerchantCo]

Japan (Birth Control)

City growth halved. After research of "Manga" [replaces radio] production in all cities is halved.

 

[SmithRobloxian]

Moderator Action: Removed quoted troll post. Please do not quote nor answer trolls. Simply report them and let the staff handle the situation. Answering only makes thing worse.
Please read the forum rules: http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=422889

 

[Princeofnigeria]

To be fair, I think you are being a little hard on ol' Felipe there. Yes, there were many setbacks, and yes he was quite represive of change and overambitious, but many MANY worse have sat atop the throne of Castile. You forget his masterful military tactics, his skill in building a system of trade routes to pump a steady flow of fresh and well equiped Spaniards into the new world while drawing out quantities of gold and silver beyond any previous europeans wildest fantasies, and the fact that his expansive nature put spain at the top of europe's heirarchy for several generations. As well, while many bankrupcies occured under his rule, few were long lived due to his tenacity and determination as a ruler. Sure, he had faults, and I would have a hard time calling him a great leader, but he was most certainly a good one.

Back to more humerous grounds:
James buchanan (USA)-
INDECISIVE: After selecting a social policy, their is a 50% chance It will have no effect and simply be a blank slot. Workers build improvement in twice the usual time.

 

[leif erikson]

Moderator Action: In developing your joke leaders, please do not use contemporary/still living leaders, no mass murderers and nothing related to Israel. All these subjects are prime troll bait.
Please read the forum rules: http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=422889

 

[MerchantCo]

Korea [Gamers]

UA: Production in all cities is halved once "Internet" is researched.
UU: Game Distributor [temporarily slows production in enemy cities]
UB: Internet Cafe [can change government ideology without people rioting. They're too busy playing video-games.]

 

[3drawegroeg]

Jamaica -- Bob Marley
50% bonus to great person production
+1 per filled specialist
+1 per open specialist slot
25% decrease for each musician/artist/writer specialist operating in a city
UU Rasta: Missionary that generates 50 per conversion attempt. Also grants 1 turn 10% malus to recently proselytized city and 10% for 5 turns.
Secondary UU/UB: Still in developmental stage

 

[pilot00]

Greece -- Cleon
50% bonus to military production

UA: Greatest general of them all (LIES)
+5 When at war.
+50% bonus to military production.
-No great general generation, generates Demagogues instead (see below). All great generals attained by other means (SPs, CS gifts) give no bonuses, they count as a single delegate to the world council as long as they are alive instead.
-Under no circumstances a peace treaty that contains favorable terms for Greece can be accepted.

UU: Demagogue, replaces great general. Can be used to your own cities to provide a 5 happiness boost for 10 turns or used on another players city to produce a 5 unhappiness boost.

 

[SmithRobloxian]

Greece -- Cleon
50% bonus to military production

UA: Greatest general of them all (LIES)
+5 When at war.
+50% bonus to military production.
-No great general generation, generates Demagogues instead (see below). All great generals attained by other means (SPs, CS gifts) give no bonuses, they count as a single delegate to the world council as long as they are alive instead.
-Under no circumstances a peace treaty that contains favorable terms for Greece can be accepted.

UU: Demagogue, replaces great general. Can be used to your own cities to provide a 5 happiness boost for 10 turns or used on another players city to produce a 5 unhappiness boost.

...Is it me, or does this contains a higher pro-to-con ratio?

 

[pilot00]

...Is it me, or does this contains a higher pro-to-con ratio?

Remove the military production then? I didnt weight them to be honest It came to me on the fly.
Remove the delgation too, but I don't think even with honor you will get more than two of them

 

[MerchantCo]

It doesn't necessarily have to be negative. It just has to be a joke.

 

[Snes]

Nevermind.
Moderator Action: See the post by leif erikson above!

 

[HeraldtheGreat]

Somalia: UA, Instability: When Empire is in Civil resistance, half of your cities are given to barbarians and military units cost half production.

UU: Somali Pirate: Replaces work boat. 10 strength, 5 movement. Double loot from pillaging trade routes. May move after attacking.

 

[dopingman]

Canada:

UA: "Frindliness" - you give barbarians gold if you clear their encampments (they have to fund their live and families somehow, eh?)
UB: "Hockey stadium" After building, your city will be celebrating 5 turns by watching hockey games. City production is zero during the celebration. Replaces Coliseum. Grants 2 local
UU: "Mounty" Replaces cavalry. Cannot be upgraded. Wears fancy red uniform.

All Canadian stereotypes I can imagine, packed in one Civ!

 

[Loucypher]

European Union.
UA: Open Borders For EVERYONE!
Allows all units to march through your territory without any penalties. Declarations of war will not push these units out of your borders.
UB: Bruxelles and Strasbourg Seat of Power
Replaces the Castle. Requires 5 gpt. -30% production in the city. Gain social policies 10% faster.
UU: EU Bureaucrat
Replaces Great Merchant. 5 unit maintainance per turn. Cannot conduct trading missions. Can be sent to cities in other player's territory (this requires no open borders) to lower that city's production by 30% for the next 30 turns.

 

[pilot00]

European Union.
UA: Open Borders For EVERYONE!
Allows all units to march through your territory without any penalties. Declarations of war will not push these units out of your borders.
UB: Bruxelles and Strasbourg Seat of Power
Replaces the Castle. Requires 5 gpt. -30% production in the city. Gain social policies 10% faster.
UU: EU Bureaucrat
Replaces Great Merchant. 5 unit maintainance per turn. Cannot conduct trading missions. Can be sent to cities in other player's territory (this requires no open borders) to lower that city's production by 30% for the next 30 turns.

You should add them something like this also:

Parade army: EU units cost 1food each in addition to their normal costs and have an inherent 50% combat str penalty.
Joint operations: When the EU is fighting a common enemy with America and both CiVs have chosen freedom, the EU food and defense penalties are removed. If the EU side wins the war they get bonus trade caravans with the losers cities for 30 turns.

 

[brindle]

Vichy France

Leader: Marshal Philippe Pétain
UA: Can puppet own cities.
UB: Maginot Line, replaces Fort. 4x strength to units that enter hex, unit can never move again.
UU: French Reserve, replaces great war infantry, can never move toward an enemy unit. 2x gold for disbanding.


ps. Loucyper - I LOL at Bureaucrat!

 

[otaman1]

The Shoshone
Leader: Sacagawea
Capital: Mohon Kahni
UA: Friendly Neighbours - Automatic open borders with all civilizations from the start; other civilizations can found cities inside the borders
UU: Pathfinder - cannot be upgraded; -1 movement in open terrains
UU: Comanche Riders - penalty vs everyone; cannot attack directly


Atlantis
Leader: Arkantos
Capital: Atlantis
UA: The Lost City - Die before the game starts
UU: Atlantian Warrior - weaker than the warrior
UB: Temple of Atlantis - -2 faith


The Simpsons
Leader: Homer Simpson
Capital: Springfield
UA: Tragic in Springfield - Dead units will come back as barbarians; when a Simpson dies and is the current leaderhead, the next Simpson born will replace that Simpson (an anarchy will trigger when this happens)
UU: Simpsons - Great General replacement; only 5 available (Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, Maggie)
UB: Mr. Burn's Nuclear Plant - If built in the city where Homer (Great Simpson) is stationed, it will likely explode destroying the city and causing the first part of the UA to trigger