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The lamest jokes you can think of....... II

Discussion in 'Humor & Jokes' started by Bobbtjoe, Jun 28, 2009.

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  1. Moai_Spammer

    Moai_Spammer Nihilandros

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    Here's on i just thought of:

    What did the ground say to the android tablet
    Spoiler :
    would you care to meet my friend gravity?
     
  2. Uncle Sparky

    Uncle Sparky Pheasant Plucker

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    Why do moon rocks taste better than earth rocks?
    They're a little meateor.
     
  3. Moai_Spammer

    Moai_Spammer Nihilandros

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    what did venus say to jupiter?
    Spoiler :
    Dat Mass
     
  4. PlutonianEmpire

    PlutonianEmpire Socially Awkward Goofball

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    ^ Reminds me of an old joke from the "In the year 2000" skit Conan O'Brien used to do...

    *In the year 2000 theme sung by LaBamba*

    Andy: The planet Jupiter swears it never even had a great red spot until after it had unprotected sex with Venus.
     
  5. Moai_Spammer

    Moai_Spammer Nihilandros

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    :lmao:
     
  6. Uncle Sparky

    Uncle Sparky Pheasant Plucker

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    How do you make antifreeze?

    Take away her woolly nighty.
     
  7. Moai_Spammer

    Moai_Spammer Nihilandros

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    what do you call a vampire who's car breaks down 3 miles from a blood bank?
    Spoiler :
    a cab
     
  8. stfoskey12

    stfoskey12 Emperor of Foskania

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    Where do religious soldiers on horseback go on Sundays?

    Cavalry Baptist Church
     
  9. west india man

    west india man Immortal

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  10. Moai_Spammer

    Moai_Spammer Nihilandros

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    tis was a good pun
     
  11. SamSniped

    SamSniped DJ Goodboye

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    I'm considering Lenin that guy a hand with his puns.
     
  12. Arakhor

    Arakhor Dremora Courtier Moderator

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    Don't be Russian off to do that too soon or Ural be sorry.
     
  13. Moai_Spammer

    Moai_Spammer Nihilandros

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    i won't be russian, i'll just be stalin while i'm putin
     
  14. Uncle Sparky

    Uncle Sparky Pheasant Plucker

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    What did they call the first man to play Mamma Mia on a didgeridoo?
    An aboriginal.
     
  15. Fr8monkey

    Fr8monkey Chieftain

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    Imagine you are in a sinking rowboat surrounded by sharks. How would you survive?

    Spoiler :
    Stop imagining.
     
  16. west india man

    west india man Immortal

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    ''Mark, my words'' [Mark brings me my dictionary] ''Thank you, Mark''
     
  17. Murky

    Murky Chieftain

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    Louis CK: Of Course but Maybe..

    Moderator Action: Video removed, mucho vulgarity near the end
     
  18. PlutonianEmpire

    PlutonianEmpire Socially Awkward Goofball

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    I pity the fools such as myself who had to be born in the middle of November. Because if you subtract nine months from November, you get February. What's in the middle of February?

    Spoiler :
    Exactly. :mischief:
     
  19. KaiserElectric

    KaiserElectric Total Freakin Besties

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    I detect wordplay here, but I can't decipher it. :p
     
  20. west india man

    west india man Immortal

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    Valentine's Day is when people do eee-iiiii-eee-iiii, and it's 9 months before November.
     
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