The lamest jokes you can think of....... II

[Moai_Spammer]

Here's on i just thought of:

What did the ground say to the android tablet

Spoiler :

would you care to meet my friend gravity?

 

[Uncle Sparky]

Why do moon rocks taste better than earth rocks?
They're a little meateor.

 

[Moai_Spammer]

what did venus say to jupiter?

Spoiler :

Dat Mass

 

[PlutonianEmpire]

^ Reminds me of an old joke from the "In the year 2000" skit Conan O'Brien used to do...

*In the year 2000 theme sung by LaBamba*

Andy: The planet Jupiter swears it never even had a great red spot until after it had unprotected sex with Venus.

 

[Moai_Spammer]

 

[Uncle Sparky]

How do you make antifreeze?

Take away her woolly nighty.

 

[Moai_Spammer]

what do you call a vampire who's car breaks down 3 miles from a blood bank?

Spoiler :

a cab

 

[stfoskey12]

Where do religious soldiers on horseback go on Sundays?

Cavalry Baptist Church

 

[W|M]

 

[Moai_Spammer]

tis was a good pun

 

[SamSniped]

I'm considering Lenin that guy a hand with his puns.

 

[Arakhor]

Don't be Russian off to do that too soon or Ural be sorry.

 

[Moai_Spammer]

i won't be russian, i'll just be stalin while i'm putin

 

[Uncle Sparky]

What did they call the first man to play Mamma Mia on a didgeridoo?
An aboriginal.

 

[Fr8monkey]

Imagine you are in a sinking rowboat surrounded by sharks. How would you survive?

Spoiler :

Stop imagining.

 

[W|M]

''Mark, my words'' [Mark brings me my dictionary] ''Thank you, Mark''

 

[Murky]

Louis CK: Of Course but Maybe..

Moderator Action: Video removed, mucho vulgarity near the end

 

[PlutonianEmpire]

I pity the fools such as myself who had to be born in the middle of November. Because if you subtract nine months from November, you get February. What's in the middle of February?

Spoiler :

Exactly.

 

[KaiserElectric]

I detect wordplay here, but I can't decipher it.

 

[W|M]

Valentine's Day is when people do eee-iiiii-eee-iiii, and it's 9 months before November.