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The Llamast Jokes Thread... 3

Discussion in 'Humor & Jokes' started by Uncle Sparky, Dec 31, 2017.

  1. Uncle Sparky

    Uncle Sparky Chieftain

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    Post the lamest jokes you, or someone, can think of. For example...

    Aren't time zones fascinating? In Europe, it is 2018. In Canada, it is still 2017. In the USA, it is 1952.

    Previous thread: Lamest Jokes II
     
    The_J likes this.
  2. Uncle Sparky

    Uncle Sparky Chieftain

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    "I spent way too much money over Christmas!", I said, to my credit.
     
  3. Uncle Sparky

    Uncle Sparky Chieftain

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    What do you get if you insert human DNA into a llama?
    Spoiler :
    Banned from the petting zoo.
     
    Bandobras Took and The_J like this.
  4. Uncle Sparky

    Uncle Sparky Chieftain

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    Son: Dad, could you do my math problems for me?
    Dad: That would be completely wrong, son.
    Son: Probably, but you could still try your best!
     
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  5. Uncle Sparky

    Uncle Sparky Chieftain

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    Bilbo wakes up suddenly to Don't Stop Believin'...
    It was an unexpected Journey.
     
  6. Uncle Sparky

    Uncle Sparky Chieftain

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    When does a joke become a 'dad' joke?
    Spoiler :
    When the punch line becomes apparent.
     
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  7. PhroX

    PhroX Chieftain

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    Why did the painting get sent to jail?
    Spoiler :
    Because it got framed!
     
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  8. Arakhor

    Arakhor Dremora Courtier Moderator

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    A local paper, desperate for copy, once ran a story on sheep running wild in a children's playground. However, once it was revealed that these were simply chicken-wire models with cotton wool cladding, the paper had to apologise for a fake ewes story.
     
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  9. PhroX

    PhroX Chieftain

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    A shipment of wigs was stolen yesterday. Police are combing the area.
     
  10. Arakhor

    Arakhor Dremora Courtier Moderator

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    That joke is so old that it probably has grandchildren now!
     
  11. PhroX

    PhroX Chieftain

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    Why is a calendar worried about dying?

    Because its days are numbered
     
  12. Uncle Sparky

    Uncle Sparky Chieftain

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    Two men went to jail for stealing a calendar. They each got 6 months.
     
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  13. PhroX

    PhroX Chieftain

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    Why can't clocks keep secrets?

    Spoiler :
    Because time will tell
     
    Last edited: Jan 26, 2018
  14. Uncle Sparky

    Uncle Sparky Chieftain

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    When cheese has its picture taken, what does it say?
     
  15. Gori the Grey

    Gori the Grey Lord of Misrule

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    Meeeeee! I'm guessing.
     
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  16. Arakhor

    Arakhor Dremora Courtier Moderator

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    I saw a whole shelf of fairy cakes in tutus the other day. They were clearly in a bun dance.
     
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  17. PhroX

    PhroX Chieftain

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    A man walks into a fishmonger with a tuna under his arm.
    "Do you do fishcakes?"
    "Of course sir"
    "Good, because it's his birthday"
     
    Uncle Sparky likes this.
  18. Timsup2nothin

    Timsup2nothin Another drone in the hive mind

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    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    Spoiler :
    To make you look in the spoiler.
     
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  19. Uncle Sparky

    Uncle Sparky Chieftain

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    I used to be addicted to soap, but I've been clean for over a year.
     
    The_J likes this.
  20. Timsup2nothin

    Timsup2nothin Another drone in the hive mind

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    What did they call a candle in the window on the 85th floor of the world trade center?

    Spoiler :
    pilot light
     

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