1. We have added a Gift Upgrades feature that allows you to gift an account upgrade to another member, just in time for the holiday season. You can see the gift option when going to the Account Upgrades screen, or on any user profile screen.
    Dismiss Notice

The Llamast Jokes Thread... 3

Discussion in 'Humor & Jokes' started by Uncle Sparky, Dec 31, 2017.

  1. Uncle Sparky

    Uncle Sparky Chieftain

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2013
    Messages:
    478
    Location:
    Exile.
    Post the lamest jokes you, or someone, can think of. For example...

    Aren't time zones fascinating? In Europe, it is 2018. In Canada, it is still 2017. In the USA, it is 1952.

    Previous thread: Lamest Jokes II
     
    The_J likes this.
  2. Uncle Sparky

    Uncle Sparky Chieftain

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2013
    Messages:
    478
    Location:
    Exile.
    "I spent way too much money over Christmas!", I said, to my credit.
     
  3. Uncle Sparky

    Uncle Sparky Chieftain

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2013
    Messages:
    478
    Location:
    Exile.
    What do you get if you insert human DNA into a llama?
    Spoiler :
    Banned from the petting zoo.
     
    Bandobras Took and The_J like this.
  4. Uncle Sparky

    Uncle Sparky Chieftain

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2013
    Messages:
    478
    Location:
    Exile.
    Son: Dad, could you do my math problems for me?
    Dad: That would be completely wrong, son.
    Son: Probably, but you could still try your best!
     
    The_J likes this.
  5. Uncle Sparky

    Uncle Sparky Chieftain

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2013
    Messages:
    478
    Location:
    Exile.
    Bilbo wakes up suddenly to Don't Stop Believin'...
    It was an unexpected Journey.
     
  6. Uncle Sparky

    Uncle Sparky Chieftain

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2013
    Messages:
    478
    Location:
    Exile.
    When does a joke become a 'dad' joke?
    Spoiler :
    When the punch line becomes apparent.
     
    tjs282 and Arakhor like this.
  7. PhroX

    PhroX Chieftain

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2009
    Messages:
    1,800
    Gender:
    Male
    Why did the painting get sent to jail?
    Spoiler :
    Because it got framed!
     
    Uncle Sparky likes this.
  8. Arakhor

    Arakhor Dremora Courtier Moderator

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2009
    Messages:
    29,625
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    UK
    A local paper, desperate for copy, once ran a story on sheep running wild in a children's playground. However, once it was revealed that these were simply chicken-wire models with cotton wool cladding, the paper had to apologise for a fake ewes story.
     
    Uncle Sparky likes this.
  9. PhroX

    PhroX Chieftain

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2009
    Messages:
    1,800
    Gender:
    Male
    A shipment of wigs was stolen yesterday. Police are combing the area.
     
  10. Arakhor

    Arakhor Dremora Courtier Moderator

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2009
    Messages:
    29,625
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    UK
    That joke is so old that it probably has grandchildren now!
     
  11. PhroX

    PhroX Chieftain

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2009
    Messages:
    1,800
    Gender:
    Male
    Why is a calendar worried about dying?

    Because its days are numbered
     
  12. Uncle Sparky

    Uncle Sparky Chieftain

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2013
    Messages:
    478
    Location:
    Exile.
    Two men went to jail for stealing a calendar. They each got 6 months.
     
    GoodSarmatian likes this.
  13. PhroX

    PhroX Chieftain

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2009
    Messages:
    1,800
    Gender:
    Male
    Why can't clocks keep secrets?

    Spoiler :
    Because time will tell
     
    Last edited: Jan 26, 2018
  14. Uncle Sparky

    Uncle Sparky Chieftain

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2013
    Messages:
    478
    Location:
    Exile.
    When cheese has its picture taken, what does it say?
     
  15. Gori the Grey

    Gori the Grey The Poster

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2009
    Messages:
    5,361
    Meeeeee! I'm guessing.
     
    Uncle Sparky likes this.
  16. Arakhor

    Arakhor Dremora Courtier Moderator

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2009
    Messages:
    29,625
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    UK
    I saw a whole shelf of fairy cakes in tutus the other day. They were clearly in a bun dance.
     
    Uncle Sparky likes this.
  17. PhroX

    PhroX Chieftain

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2009
    Messages:
    1,800
    Gender:
    Male
    A man walks into a fishmonger with a tuna under his arm.
    "Do you do fishcakes?"
    "Of course sir"
    "Good, because it's his birthday"
     
    Uncle Sparky likes this.
  18. Timsup2nothin

    Timsup2nothin Another drone in the hive mind

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2013
    Messages:
    31,696
    Location:
    Perhaps in transit
    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    Spoiler :
    To make you look in the spoiler.
     
    tjs282 and Arakhor like this.
  19. Uncle Sparky

    Uncle Sparky Chieftain

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2013
    Messages:
    478
    Location:
    Exile.
    I used to be addicted to soap, but I've been clean for over a year.
     
    The_J likes this.
  20. Timsup2nothin

    Timsup2nothin Another drone in the hive mind

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2013
    Messages:
    31,696
    Location:
    Perhaps in transit
    What did they call a candle in the window on the 85th floor of the world trade center?

    Spoiler :
    pilot light
     

Share This Page