The Llamast Jokes Thread... 3

[Uncle Sparky]

Post the lamest jokes you, or someone, can think of. For example...

Aren't time zones fascinating? In Europe, it is 2018. In Canada, it is still 2017. In the USA, it is 1952.

Previous thread: Lamest Jokes II

 

[Uncle Sparky]

"I spent way too much money over Christmas!", I said, to my credit.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

What do you get if you insert human DNA into a llama?

Spoiler :

Banned from the petting zoo.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

Son: Dad, could you do my math problems for me?
Dad: That would be completely wrong, son.
Son: Probably, but you could still try your best!

 

[Uncle Sparky]

Bilbo wakes up suddenly to Don't Stop Believin'...
It was an unexpected Journey.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

When does a joke become a 'dad' joke?

Spoiler :

When the punch line becomes apparent.

 

[PhroX]

Why did the painting get sent to jail?

Spoiler :

Because it got framed!

 

[Arakhor]

A local paper, desperate for copy, once ran a story on sheep running wild in a children's playground. However, once it was revealed that these were simply chicken-wire models with cotton wool cladding, the paper had to apologise for a fake ewes story.

 

[PhroX]

A shipment of wigs was stolen yesterday. Police are combing the area.

 

[Arakhor]

That joke is so old that it probably has grandchildren now!

 

[PhroX]

Why is a calendar worried about dying?

Because its days are numbered

 

[Uncle Sparky]

Two men went to jail for stealing a calendar. They each got 6 months.

 

[PhroX]

Why can't clocks keep secrets?

Spoiler :

Because time will tell

 

[Uncle Sparky]

When cheese has its picture taken, what does it say?

 

[Gori the Grey]

Meeeeee! I'm guessing.

 

[Arakhor]

I saw a whole shelf of fairy cakes in tutus the other day. They were clearly in a bun dance.

 

[PhroX]

A man walks into a fishmonger with a tuna under his arm.
"Do you do fishcakes?"
"Of course sir"
"Good, because it's his birthday"

 

[Timsup2nothin]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Spoiler :

To make you look in the spoiler.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

I used to be addicted to soap, but I've been clean for over a year.

 

[Timsup2nothin]

What did they call a candle in the window on the 85th floor of the world trade center?

Spoiler :

pilot light