The Llamast Jokes Thread... 3

[Serutan]

Capitalization is important It is the difference between:

I helped my Uncle Jack off a horse. And

{violation of forum rules}

 

[Uncle Sparky]

I went shopping for a cherry and a microphone...

Bought a Bing.
Bought a boom.

 

[Serutan]

Psi.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

How much space will Brexit open up in the EU?

1 GB

 

[Arakhor]

Oh, dear God.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

Zen

When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, you become a vacuum cleaner.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

If Trump should die before I wake,
I pray to God the news ain't fake.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

Valentine's thought...

If you are seeking a mate who doesn't like Star Wars puns, you are looking for love in Alderaan places.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

My wife is furious with our next door neighbor who sunbathes topless in her backyard...
Personally, I'm on the fence.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a bar.

The rabbit says, "I hate auto-correct.".

 

[Uncle Sparky]

I'm reading a horror novel in braille.
Something terrible is going to happen... I can feel it!

 

[Arakhor]

I don't know much about the coronavirus, but a West Sussex Eighties' punk band is The Cure.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

Son: Dad. I just received the Leslie Nielsen Badge at school!

Dad: What's that?

Son: A large building full of students.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

The advantage of easy origami is two fold.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

Son: Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is like?

Dad: No sun.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

I just wrote a song about a tortilla...
Actually, its more of a wrap.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

In Germany, soon the only food left will be sausages and cheese.

This is a Wurst Käse Scenario.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

If Finland locks down its borders, no one will cross the finish line.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

My thoughts and prayers go out to all those married men in lockdown, who used the phrase, "I'll do that when I have the time"...

 

[Ozbenno]

The unwritten rules of dealing with a global pandemic

1.
2.
3.