1. We have added a Gift Upgrades feature that allows you to gift an account upgrade to another member, just in time for the holiday season. You can see the gift option when going to the Account Upgrades screen, or on any user profile screen.
    Dismiss Notice

The Llamast Jokes Thread... 3

Discussion in 'Humor & Jokes' started by Uncle Sparky, Dec 31, 2017.

  1. Uncle Sparky

    Uncle Sparky Pheasant Plucker

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2013
    Messages:
    779
    Location:
    Exile.
    Why are Rudolph and Blitzen always taking coffee breaks?

    Because they are the star bucks.
     
    tjs282, AmazonQueen and The_J like this.
  2. onejayhawk

    onejayhawk Afflicted with reason

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2002
    Messages:
    13,670
    Location:
    next to George Bush's parents
    How do flowers ride their bicycles?

    Spoiler :
    with the petals
     
    Uncle Sparky likes this.
  3. onejayhawk

    onejayhawk Afflicted with reason

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2002
    Messages:
    13,670
    Location:
    next to George Bush's parents
    Why does the bicycle lean on its stand?

    Spoiler :
    It's two tired
     
    Chicken Pizza and Uncle Sparky like this.
  4. Uncle Sparky

    Uncle Sparky Pheasant Plucker

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2013
    Messages:
    779
    Location:
    Exile.
    Ten year from now you'll put on a jacket, reach into a pocket and find a mask and think, 'What a weird year that was!'

    Then you'll pick up your machete and continue across the wasteland, keeping to the shadows to avoid roaming gangs of cannibals.
     
    The_J, tjs282 and AmazonQueen like this.
  5. onejayhawk

    onejayhawk Afflicted with reason

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2002
    Messages:
    13,670
    Location:
    next to George Bush's parents
    Also in the Math joke thread.

    7 8 9. 9 is 6's girlfriend, so 6 sued. Now 7 has to register as a 6 offender.

    J
     
    Last edited: Feb 17, 2021
    AmazonQueen likes this.
  6. Uncle Sparky

    Uncle Sparky Pheasant Plucker

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2013
    Messages:
    779
    Location:
    Exile.
    I'm addicted to collecting magazines...

    I have a lot of issues.
     
    tjs282 and The_J like this.
  7. Uncle Sparky

    Uncle Sparky Pheasant Plucker

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2013
    Messages:
    779
    Location:
    Exile.
    It is only a coup if it is from the coup d'état region of France.

    Otherwise, it is just sparkling white terrorism.
     
  8. Uncle Sparky

    Uncle Sparky Pheasant Plucker

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2013
    Messages:
    779
    Location:
    Exile.
    What is the difference between the US Capitol Building and Mordor?

    One does not simply walk into Mordor.
     
  9. Uncle Sparky

    Uncle Sparky Pheasant Plucker

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2013
    Messages:
    779
    Location:
    Exile.
    Does anyone remember that joke I posted about a chiropractor?

    It was about a weak back.
     
    Chicken Pizza, tjs282 and The_J like this.
  10. Uncle Sparky

    Uncle Sparky Pheasant Plucker

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2013
    Messages:
    779
    Location:
    Exile.
    I tried using 'chicken' as a password and had it rejected. The program said I must have a capitol.

    So I tried 'chickenkiev'.
     
    tjs282 and AmazonQueen like this.
  11. Uncle Sparky

    Uncle Sparky Pheasant Plucker

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2013
    Messages:
    779
    Location:
    Exile.
    The first rule of Condescension Club is a bit complex, and you probably won't understand it.
     
    Gori the Grey and tjs282 like this.
  12. GinandTonic

    GinandTonic Saphire w/ Schweps + Lime

    Joined:
    May 25, 2005
    Messages:
    8,189
    Man walks into the doctors to get his results.

    Doc says "It's bad news I'm afraid. You've a very rare condition that means you can't remember the 80's"
    Man asks "What's the cure?"
    Doc "It's worse than I thought!"
     
    Serutan, PhroX, tjs282 and 3 others like this.
  13. Arakhor

    Arakhor Dremora Courtier Super Moderator

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2009
    Messages:
    36,337
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    UK
    I laughed rather too much at that one. :)
     
    tjs282 likes this.
  14. Chicken Pizza

    Chicken Pizza Warlord

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2020
    Messages:
    212
    Gender:
    Male
    More of a blooper than a joke. A joke with the possibility to come up with the end yourself, perhaps. Definitely lame.

    From Swedish news: ...one of the accused's DNA has been found on more than 2000 cartridges/shots.

    1. How do you get your DNA on so many?

    2. Has the criminal labratory tested each one separately?
     
  15. Arakhor

    Arakhor Dremora Courtier Super Moderator

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2009
    Messages:
    36,337
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    UK
    If you tell dad jokes when you're a child, you have to wait until you're an adult before the punchline becomes apparent.

    I wrote down the names of all the people I hate, but my roommate used the paper to roll up his joint. Now he’s high on the list of people I never want to see again.

    Jeff, an Oxford comma, and a semicolon walk into a bar. They both had a great time.
     
  16. GinandTonic

    GinandTonic Saphire w/ Schweps + Lime

    Joined:
    May 25, 2005
    Messages:
    8,189
    Why do Germans never have sausage for breakfast? That would be going from bed to wurst.

    Why did the Frenchman only have one egg for breakfast? Because one egg is un oeuf.
     
    Uncle Sparky, tjs282 and The_J like this.
  17. Uncle Sparky

    Uncle Sparky Pheasant Plucker

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2013
    Messages:
    779
    Location:
    Exile.
    Which letter is silent in the word 'scent', the s or the c?
     
    The_J and tjs282 like this.
  18. Uncle Sparky

    Uncle Sparky Pheasant Plucker

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2013
    Messages:
    779
    Location:
    Exile.
    2065 years ago today: Julius Caesar dies, surrounded by friends.
     
    tjs282 and AmazonQueen like this.
  19. Uncle Sparky

    Uncle Sparky Pheasant Plucker

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2013
    Messages:
    779
    Location:
    Exile.
    Bartender: What're you drinking?
    Flavius: Gimme a martinus.
    Bartender: You mean a martini.
    Flavius: If I wanted two I'd ask for them.
     
    The_J and tjs282 like this.
  20. Uncle Sparky

    Uncle Sparky Pheasant Plucker

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2013
    Messages:
    779
    Location:
    Exile.
    Why couldn't the hot pepper practice archery?

    He didn't habanero.
     
    tjs282, The_J and GinandTonic like this.

Share This Page