The Llamast Jokes Thread... 3

[dariusII]

Speaking of candy stores....

My alcoholic brother recently crashed his car into a candy store but ran away before the police arrived.

He now has a large bounty on his head.

 

[<Nexus>]

Speaking of candy stores....

My alcoholic brother recently crashed his car into a candy store but ran away before the police arrived.

He now has a large bounty on his head.

Oh, I heard that in the news. They said that the suspect was wearing snickers

 

[Thrasybulos]

Was he driving a Ferrero ?

 

[<Nexus>]

No, Mon Cheri, he was driving a Merci

 

[dariusII]

Was he driving a Ferrero ?

Hyperlink, please.

But I thought you already nougat.

 

[Gori the Grey]

Police should forget the chase; he's had time to reach Mars by now.

 

[<Nexus>]

(And the obvious continuation )

If he's smart enough, he leaves the Milky Way behind.

 

[Gori the Grey]

He might just be hiding out in the heath

 

[Samson]

AWS went down and then Azure went down. I'm going to host things with Rick Astley, because he will never let me down.

 

[dariusII]

I'm married to Steffi Graf's sister, Polly.

I wouldn't lie to you.

 

[Samson]

Why did the mathematician confuse Halloween and Christmas?

Because 31 oct = 25 dec

 

[Uncle Sparky]

Irish chili always contains 239 beans.
One more would make it too farty.

 

[Samson]

It’s a five minute walk from my house to the pub.

It’s a 35 minute walk from the pub to my house.

The difference is staggering.

 

[<Nexus>]

It’s a five minute walk from my house to the pub.

It’s a 35 minute walk from the pub to my house.

The difference is staggering.

I'm starting to understand how and why Einstein made up his Theory of Relativity.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

Even though I'm not famous yet, and really can't afford it, I've commissioned my bust in marble.
I know I'm getting a head of myself.

 

[Gori the Grey]

You'll be memorialized, even if all your hopes for fame prove to be a bust.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

With the leftover marble, I had a small bust made of my young son...
A real chip off the old block.

 

[Catharsis]

What do you call a crow who doesn't go to war?

A conscientious objackdaw.

 

[danjuno]

I keep trying to go to the Netherlands, but the traffic on the way there is all clogged up!

 

[Uncle Sparky]

I keep trying to go to the Netherlands, but the traffic on the way there is all clogged up!

As long as you're having a gouda time.