the non poll political poll

[Pellaken]

I find polls to be restrictive. are you a liberal or conservative. well, like me, you might be both. I'm mostly liberal, but a little conservative.

so, where do you stand on "the issues"


here are the issues that I can think of:

aborition
gun controal
israel VS palastine
us forigen policy
the prisoners
the invasion on iraq


my answers will be posted later, I'm crushed on time.


to mods-I know thre are threads on each of these, and a number of polls. but this thread is intended to be different from those, and was create BECAUSE of those. so if you are going to close this, please dont blame it on that fact.

 

[Hitro]

Originally posted by Pellaken
I find polls to be restrictive. are you a liberal or conservative.

You find them to be restrictive and then you give just two options?

Well I'll rather give answers on your issues:

"abortion"
- not very important to me, personally against it (for "my" possible child) but generally couples should decide on their own

"gun control"
- even less important to me, what's the point in getting a gun? (please no answers )

"israel vs. palestine"
-there are already many threads about that where I posted, too complex to answer this shortly.
"us foreign policy"
- what exactly? I agree with some things in US foreign policy and disagree with others (probably more), but hard to tell generally


"the prisoners"
- in cuba? Should be treated according to Geneva conventions and get fair trials, nothing more to say

"the invasion of iraq"
- don't see enough reasons for that, can be argued though (as done in a thread about it)

I think the issues you picked are far from covering politics as a whole. In fact the last two (definetely the very last one) are closely connected to U.S. foreign policy. Same to some extend with the Middle East issue. What about other issues? Like environmental policy, taxes, etc.

 

[Simon Darkshade]

OK, a poll without a poll. So, one will issue the answers to weimar- oops, Pellaken's issues:

Abortion: If the mother's life is threatened, or if pregnancy caused by rape, then allow it. Otherwise, it should be discouraged actively.

Gun control: Guns are beautiful. I love guns. Ownership should be regulated, but allowed.

Israel vs Palestine: I support the Israeli right to exist as a state, and advocate the destruction of the Palestinian terrorists, and support proper action to be taken in order to make peace, and destroy the criminal, terrorist scum that prevent it.

US foreign policy: I am in favour of allowing the US to have a foreign policy. If you want anything in addition to sarcasm, be more specific.

The prisoners: Keep them in Zenda, in iron masks, next to some aristos from Monte Cristo...Which prisoners? The ones in Gitmo should be thoroughly interrogated, and then burnt at the stake...
Ok, give them a quick trial in between those two stages then.

Invasion of Iraq: All the way. Saddam must be killed, and a proper government put in place.

That what ye wanted ?

 

[damunzy]

Funny post SD.
My answers:
aborition:
We should abort aborition! yuk yuk, ok seriously, same as Simmon but with incest (incase the mother-to-be has a change in mind on how much of a good idea it would be to have such a child) and it should be a choice of the parents to abort if the child is going to be born with major problems (I personally made an agreement with my wife to not do this but I beleive it should be the right of each set of parents to make).

gun control:
They are loose cannons, lock them up! yuk yuk, ok, another one, so shoot me! oh, I am on a roll! I agree with Simmon, allow guns but regulate.

israel VS palastine
Put them on FOX and name it Country Boxing...ok, that one was really bad....I don't know enough to make a sensible arguement in this one.

us forigen policy
Uh, I am goign to guess that you are talking about what another non-American brought up, how America is only giving .1% GDP or something like that. I say that America gives alot, and that we can always give more, but I hope it is smartly and not wasted.

the prisoners
I am lost on this one too, but I will say if it is the people held in Cuba, I hope they get a fair trial, a trial held to the same standards as Americans are.

the invasion on iraq
Bomb the frell out of it! O.K., I take that back, but I say get rid of Saddam H. He be bad man.

 

[amadeus]

Aborition:

End them. Incest, rape, or mother's life should be the only cases to perform an abortion, all else is cheapening the value of human life and promoting sexual irresponsibility.

Gun Control:

Repeal Brady Bill (U.S. legislation), allow "self-defense" firearms with proper training.

Israel v.s. Palestine:

Pro-Isreal. Arafat's a terrorist and must be treated like a terrorist.

U.S. Foriegn Policy:

That's a very general question... I'll try to sort it out.

Pretty good, but place new sanctions on North Korea.

The Prisoners:

I'm guessing you're talking the Guantanamo Bay prisoners, and I think they are being treated too humanely. "Culturally approved" meals? Come on, if our soldiers down there can eat Froot Loops, than those prisoners should too.

The Invasion on Iraq:

Only one thing I'm upset over an invasion of Iraq about -- it hasn't started yet.

 

[Simon Darkshade]

A quote I would really like to hear:

"My fellow Americans, I have just passed legislation that will outlaw Iraq/North Korea/Iran/Cuba/Arafat/Mugabe/France/China/Indonesia/ Carlton Football Club/Oprah Winfrey forever. We begin bombing in five minutes."

 

[amadeus]

Don't forget CNN and Syria!

 

[Juize]

Abortion
Abortion should be allowed. Humans should be rated by their work,
not simply because they exist. (When we'll rate masturbation as a mass murder? )

Gun Control
Controlled, but allowed.

Israel vs. Palestine
I'm against the terrorists; I'm against Sharon and also against the Arafat.
Big children, they actually don't want peace.

US Foreign policy
Disturbing, catastrophal long-term effects. US has nowadays no-foreign policy,
it just says what it does and then does it. When this is combined with
new domestic policy, we have a stalinist goverment.

Prisoners
What prisoners? Shees, something more... specific?

Invasion on Iraq
Who cares from international justice when Bush says that Hussein is a terrorist?

 

[Hitro]

Originally posted by Simon Darkshade
A quote I would really like to hear:

"My fellow Americans, I have just passed legislation that will outlaw Iraq/North Korea/Iran/Cuba/Arafat/Mugabe/France/China/Indonesia/ Carlton Football Club/Oprah Winfrey forever. We begin bombing in five minutes."

Mugabe?
What's your problem with Robbie? After all he showed all signs of an old school evil dictator lately.
You should appreciate that!

 

[Simon Darkshade]

Originally posted by Juize
US Foreign policy
Disturbing, catastrophal long-term effects. US has nowadays no-foreign policy,
it just says what it does and then does it. When this is combined with
new domestic policy, we have a stalinist goverment.
[

More insightful analysis from Finland's king of the exaggerated soundbite!

The US still has a foreign policy, my pretty. Your statement is quite nonsensical. And it is "catastrophic", not 'catastrophal'.
Saying what it does and then doing it is a policy that is followed by many, many nations. What is the alternative? Saying one thing and then doing the other? Then y'all would jump down the subjects throat for being hypocritical and dishonest...

It would take a fairly drastic domestic policy shift to take a right wing conservative Republican administration to the bosom of Joe Stalin, and the current domestic policy of the United States is not moving in that direction. How ye can label them "stalinist", I know not. The usual thing for an angry teenage critic to do would be to label them "fascist" or "Hitlerite', or even "fascistic" or "stalinistic"

And rm, I forgot to add those two options in; I think there should probably be "insert your personal choice" in there as well.

 

[Simon Darkshade]

Originally posted by Hitro

Mugabe?
What's your problem with Robbie? After all he showed all signs of an old school evil dictator lately.
You should appreciate that!

Obviously, you've missed my frequent calls for his public impalement, following an imperialistic invasion to overthrow his tinpot Marxist regime.
My problems with "Robbie" could stretch on for quite a while, but suffice it to say, he is an uppity little ninconpoop deserving a slow death for his crimes against the white citizens and the black citizens of Zimbabwe.

 

[Juize]

Originally posted by Simon Darkshade
(..)It would take a fairly drastic domestic policy shift to take a right wing conservative Republican administration to the bosom of Joe Stalin, and the current domestic policy of the United States is not moving in that direction. How ye can label them "stalinist", I know not. The usual thing for an angry teenage critic to do would be to label them "fascist" or "Hitlerite', or even "fascistic" or "stalinistic" (..)

 

[Pellaken]

to clear up a little


first, feel totally and absouletley free to add things, ask questions yourself!

aborition
>>I belive that no woman should be raped. my another man, or by a government that takes away her choice

gun controal
>>guns are used to kill things. I dont like things that kill things.

israel VS palastine
>>Israel eathier needs to kill all palastinians, or give them what they want. there is no middle ground.

us forigen policy
-to clarify, this was specifically ment to be the parts of the US forigen policy that countires or people dont like. US troops in saudi aradia, for example, pissing off bin laden.
>>I think that the problem with the US is they are not commited enough. like Israel, they need to eatheir step in and get rid of all evil {iran, iraq, N.Korea} or step back altogethor. dont sit in saudi arabia.
also, saudi arabia is EVIL. we are only allied with then because they have oil. eathier replace them with a democracy, or pull out.

the prisoners
>>I have no problem with the treatment of the prisoners in cuba

the invasion on iraq
>>do it NOW!

 

[Simon Darkshade]

Originally posted by Pellaken
the invasion on iraq
>>do it NOW!

THE SCENE: War Room, National Military Command Centre, The Pentagon.
President Bush, SecState Powell, SecDef Rumsfeld are sitting around in front of the Big Board with the Joint Chiefs, and a host of other apparatchiks rushing about. The place is a buzzing hive of energy; something is up.

"Very well, gentlemen," began the President "Even though we don't have our full forces deployed in the Middle East at the moment, the time has come to launch Operation F*ck Up Saddam."
"But sir, you said you'd give me a month to work up the new secret uberBattleships!" objected a rear admiral
"Silence minion!" the President screamed, pressing a red button in front of him labelled "Rear Admiral Johnson". The poor man suddenly fell screaming backwards into the burning pit that opened behind his chair.
"Now, as I was saying, the invasion begins now."
"But why, Mr President?" queried Colin Powell, a barely noticable tremulous edge to his voice
"Because some crazy little teenager up in the barbarian North said it has to be "done NOW!"
" 'NOW!', sir?"
"Yes, 'NOW!'. The capitalization is quite intentional. It is a little known loophole in the secret addendum to the Constitution that the only time the President's executive war making authority is over ridden is if a Canadian teenager demands it in upper case characters."
"Oh," muttered Don Rumsfeld. "Well, we can launch two Alpha strikes from our carriers in the region, and hit them with long range bombers from Diego Garcia and Whiteman Air Force Base. For gorund forces, we can send in the XVIIIth Corps quickly if you let us use the new teleporters-"
"No, we save the news about them until just before the Mid-Terms. That way Daschle won't be able to get the dazed look off his face in time...No teleporters yet. I have a ...better... plan."
"Yessir??" the audience chorused tentatively
"CINC NORAD, how soon can you retarget a missile?"
"About ten minutes, sir."
"Excellent," purred the President, stroking a white cat that had suddenly appeared on his lap "Then retarget five hundred missiles. We're gonna have us an early Fourth of July fireworks display!! Get Tony on the line, and ask if he wants to join in! Heck, I'm feeling magnanimous, ask Vlad, Ariel and Comrade Darkshade as well. We can make this a family affair!"

TEN MINUTES LATER

"Can you get me through onto Saddam's videophone, George?" Bush queried of his DCI
"Certainly sir. He never asked why you sent it to him as a mark of 'a genuine desire for reconciliation and peace'."
" IT's YOU!!! What want you, Yanqui imperialist dog. I am trying to ... wax my moustache!"
"How are you, gentlemen? I'd like you to look out your window, Saddamy of Gommorrah."
"How did you know that? You couldn't possibly see him from that angle!?"
>A third voice is heard to languidly exclaim<: "Who is it Saddam? The wax is drying out!"
"Shut up Yasser, and just concentrate on holding that position. Now, what am I supposed to be looking at, you American capitalist warthog?"
"Can ya see the incoming points of light."
[Hussein nods dumbly]
"You can guess what they are, but the real fun thing is working out what they spell."
In his last seconds on Earth before being atomized, Saddam, squinted at the missiles blazing towards him.
"A..L..L...Y...O...U...R...B...A..S..."
Saddam was always a slow reader, particularly with his nethers joined to the grasp of Yasser Arafat by litres of hot wax

-------------------------------------------------------------------
Boom. Bang. Boom.
The dulcet tones of We'll Meet Again begin to swell, and then there is the sound of a scuffle, a muffled mention of "we can't play that....fudgingg copyright...been done by bloody Kubrick", and of records being roughly changed.
A new song begins:

Political Science - Randy Newman


No one likes us-I don't know why
We may not be perfect, but heaven knows we try
But all around, even our old friends put us down
Let's drop the big one and see what happens

We give them money-but are they grateful?
No, they're spiteful and they're hateful
They don't respect us-so let's surprise them
We'll drop the big one and pulverize them

Asia's crowded and Europe's too old
Africa is far too hot
And Canada's too cold
And South America stole our name
Let's drop the big one
There'll be no one left to blame us

We'll save Australia
Don't wanna hurt no kangaroo
We'll build an All American amusement park there
They got surfin', too

Boom goes London and boom Paree
More room for you and more room for me
And every city the whole world round
Will just be another American town
Oh, how peaceful it will be
We'll set everybody free
You'll wear a Japanese kimono
And there'll be Italian shoes for me

They all hate us anyhow
So let's drop the big one now
Let's drop the big one now

(The credits for this sketch roll past rapidly. So rapidly, that it can only be discerned that all participants were played by Kevin Bacon, except for a cameo by Sal Mineo as the anonymous cat.)
-------------------------------------------------------------------

There. A short, hopefully vaguelly amusing Simon Darkshade story inspired by a Pellaken post. That's a first.

 

[ComradeDavo]

Some very brief answers......

aborition - It is for the indvidual to decide

gun control - Strict gun control

israel VS palastine - they both need to accept the blame but Israel should be the one to make the first move, Sharon is a very bad leader for Isreal, and it were him who started the violence in teh first place in waht I see was a poltical move to force barak out so he could get in!

us forigen policy - is evil and causes many problems

the prisoners - treat them as POWS

the invasion on iraq - bad idea, very bad idea, I am very opposed to military action

 

[Reichsmarshal]

abortion

Only if the mother's life is threatened. Otherwise no.

Gun Control

No.

Israel VS Palastine

Israel should give back the Gaza Strip, West Bank, etc. then the Arabs should recognize their right to exist. Arafat is obstructing this.


the invasion on Iraq

Take out Hussein.

 

[sysyphus]

Originally posted by rmsharpe
Pretty good, but place new sanctions on North Korea.

I don't think we ought to rock the boat when it comes to North Korea. We already have one unstable region in the world, bad idea to throw North Korea (and inevitably China) into the mix.

Although it's been very slow, relations between the Koreas has been steadily improving over the last few years. We are already on course for stability and I believe it's inevitable that Korea will be reunified.

 

[amadeus]

Is that before or after Pyongyang launches a nuclear assault on Seoul, Tokyo, and the United States?

 

[Maj]

Abortion
Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others.

Gun control
Hand guns and rifles allowed but regulated. Possession of any operable automatic firearm illegal.

Israel vs Palestine
Both parties are at fault with their citizens taking the casualties and propaganda.

US Foreign Policy
Can't be top dog without one. Depending on who you are, it has either destroyed your life or sustained your standard of living.

Iraq
Were it to happen, I can only hope that Saddam does not have weapons of mass destruction and the means to deliver them at his disposal.

Prisoners
Treat them humanely lest you wish to drop to their level. Once that happens, you're no better than they are. They should be treated as any POW would be.

- Maj

 

[Pellaken]

I think that we could leave iraq 100% alone. eventually, he'll pick a fight with someone stronger then him, and they will take him out for us. by now, another iraq-iran war would be over in a week, wich the ayatolah's armies stroling through baghdad. *spelling?*