The Parso-Turkish Empire: Emperor Bosco's Debut

Emperor Bosco I

Guiding the flock
Joined
Aug 21, 2010
Messages
166
Location
Underground Bosco Central
Hey guys, thought that after reading S&T for months and months it was finally time to start a story of my own. As this is my first, please be understanding if my first couple of posts are a little off the standard layout. This story is planned to be about the rise and fall of Persia as it is supplanted by the Ottoman Empire. But you aren't here to listen to me ramble. Well, actually, you are, but not about behind-the-scenes stuff. You want to hear a good story. Here goes!

Ahem: In the beginning...

Parsi Peoples: We're tired of living as nomads pushed around by the People of the Setting Sun. It's time to settle down and make a little war! But who should lead us?

Cyrus the Horseherd: I've got nothing better to do.

Parsi Peoples: We bow to you, our new Shah!



Shah Cyrus: I command you to build a city here to be our capital, the great City of Parsa! After that, some of your number should trek away from the Great Sea into the mountains and found another city. All of you with weapons are to form a great Army of the Immortals and march towards the setting of the Sun to claim what is rightfully ours from the curs!

Eastern Nomads: Should we establish contact with those towards the Rising of the Sun and explore the world?

Cyrus: Oh, uh, right. Yes, do that please. And some of you archers go to protect the new mountain city.

Archers: It shall be done, our lord.

Cyrus: Wise men, what is a "farm"?

Chief Wise Man: I'll get back to you in a bit, my king.



Persian General: Sir, as we came to the closest major enemy settlement, they surrendered!

Cyrus: All the better! What do these citizens call the hated foe's empire of tyranny and oppression?

General: Babylonia, sir.

Well, march forth and conquer this Babylonia for the people of Persia!

General: Very good, sir.



Charioteer: General, we've reached the enemy capital! They're protecting themselves with clubs. I predict a 50% chance of victory if we were to attack now.

General: 50%, eh? Nothing to sneeze at. Take the city, soldier.


Charioteer: The city is ours, sir!

General: Excellent. Now move towards the last bastion of our hated foe.



Meanwhile, back in the capital...

Interior Advisor: my lord, the citizens in the mountains have founded the city of Artacoana.

Cyrus: Wonderful! The kingdom needs more hardworking folk like them.



Immortal: Sir, the Babylonian defenders have attacked out of the city!

General: How amusing. Had they stayed put, they might have kept the city. Take it from them.

Immortal: Yes, sir!



One surprisingly short battle later:

Hammurabi: NOOOOOOO!

Cyrus: You shouldn't have picked on the Great Nation of Persia, Hammy.

Hammy: But you were only nomads...

Shahanshah Cyrus: Don't worry. You can keep your lands. All you have to do is swear allegiance to me and you will be the governor of the Province of Babylonia under the Persian Empire.

Hammy: Sounds much better than getting beheaded. I'll do it.

Cyrus: Splendid.



If you're wondering why I kept Nineveh instead of burning it down on account of starving out Babylon and Shushan, then you aren't alone. Force of habit, I guess.

General: Chariot Divisions, scout out further towards the setting Sun!

Charioteers: As you command, General.



Feels like the end of a chapter to me. Be sure to tune in to the Parso-Turkish Empire next time!
 

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Nice job for your first story. Started off like any Persia game, but I expect it will change :D
 
Good job, young Padawan. A bit unorthodox, as there isn't at least one character that disagrees with the ruler...
 
I'm sure Hammy will get uppity at some point shortly... :mischief:
 
Welcome to another episode of The Parso-Turkish Empire! When last we left off, the Persian chariots were scouting towards the setting of the Sun.

Charioteer 1: Wow, only 2% chance of victory against those barbarians, and we crushed them!

Charioteer 2: It's almost like we were destined to win! I'm so much more experienced a soldier now.

Charioteer 1: Who are those blue guys?

Charioteer 2: I don't know, but they sure look unfriendly.



Ramesses: Welcome to my palace, O non-god.

Cyrus: Don't question his belief system, don't question his belief system... Peace!

Ramesses: Absolutely...

Ramesses Internal Monologue: For all YOU know!



General-Advisor: My lord, there is a surprisingly large nation just outside of our Babylonian holdings that refuses to parlay with us.

Cyrus: Oh, they will parlay... Once they're absorbed into the empire.

Gen-Ad: As you command, sir.



Gen-Ad: Uh, sir, the unfriendly Greek League of City-States has captured one of the non-parlay's cities.

Cyrus: How frustrating. Take them out as well.

Gen-Ad: Of course, majesty.

Cyrus: And wise men, make me a harder metal with which to smite them.

Chief Wise Man: On it already, majesty.



Gen-Ad: Persians, ATTACK!

Lead Charioteer: Absitively posolutely, sir!

Gen-Ad: Quit that or die.

Lead Charioteer: Yessir. Sorrysir.



Gen-Ad: There is no way we'll ever take that city with what we have. We need more sophisticated weaponry.

Chief Wise Man: Then use the copper in Babylonia. We're still working on this gray metal.

Gen-Ad: <sigh>



Gen-Ad: This city is too strong also. Curses!

Cyrus: I expect another city in a few years, General.

Gen-Ad (rubbing his neck): O-of course, majesty.

Hammy: I smell promotion... :mischief:



Gen-Ad: Wow, you Immortals will fare better than I thought! Attack the foe!

Ironically Immortal: Yes, sir!



Gen-Ad: WHY ARE YOU CALLED THE IMMORTALS?!? 72% AND 85% AND YOU STILL LOSE?!?

Immortal: [dead]

Cyrus: RAGE AND EXECUTIONS! GIVE ME MY CITAYYYYYYY!

Hammy: Better start practicing drilling maneuvers for my generalship... :D



Gen-Ad (After a long, bloody battle): Sir,the city is ours.

Cyrus: Finally. You may live.

Hammy: Awwwwww... :(



That's it for now. I have a couple more ready though, so stay tuned!
 

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Ooh! Subbed! Great start!
 
Cyrus: And wise men, make me a harder metal with which to smite them.
:lol:
I love this story already! :goodjob:
 
Great. And keeping Nineveh isn't that daft - it's the only city which can work the deer and Babilu can't work all that food on it's own anyway.
 
Nonetheless, I could have built Artaxata to use the deer, and Turkey will probably burn Nineveh in a couple thousand years. Because I can do that. :p
 
Sorry I haven't posted in so long, guys, I got a bit busy. But I'll probably have one done by next week.
 
LALALALALALALA CAN'T HEAR YOU LALALALALALALALALALALALA- :p
 
And after an annoyingly long wait for all of us: Another chapter of the Parso-Turkish Empire! Last we heard, General-Advisor Tiribazus (yes, he has a name now) had just captured Jerusalem for the illustrious Persian Empire, and for his own neck.

Minister of Religion: My king, this new Jewish religion could be a strong uniting power between our districts and with the Greeks.

Cyrus: I think we just found us a new state religion.



Minister of Wealth: My lord, a foreign thinker has declared us the richest nation in the world!

Cyrus: Celebration time!



Tiribazus: Sir, we could use those elephants in our war efforts!

Cyrus: Ah, an excellent advantage!



Chief Wise Man: Your Excellency, we have perfected that new metal. We call it iron.

Cyrus: Even better than tusked terrors! Start work on developing a counting system.



Minister of the Interior: Your Majesty, the horseherds are finally prepared to train for battle.

Cyrus: Now we shall be unstoppable! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Hammy: BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Cyrus: Stop it.

Hammy: Sorry... my lord... :twitch:



Tiribazus: It's about time to take this silly Greek city with one small garrison. Axemen, attack!

Axeman (under breath): we'regonnadiewe'regonnadiewe'regonnadie...



Tiribazus: Sir, the Greek garrison was stronger than we thought. All our axemen are dead.

Cyrus: RAGE AND EXECUTIONS! CITY CITY CITY! :aargh:

Hammy: Lightbulb! Time to take a trip to Egypt... :mwaha:



Tiribazus: Sir, the city is finally ours.

Cyrus: About [censored] time. Minister, these are my plans for Asia Minor.

Min. Int.: We'll get right on it, sir.



Min. Int.: Oh, by the way, the large pointy structures are complete now.

Cyrus: JOY! :D And they're PYRAMIDS!!! :mad:

Min. Int.: That's what I meant, of course, lord.



Part 2 of update coming soon!
 

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Part 2:

Qin: We're a powerful people, but are already in the midst of a war, and your nation is kind of far away. I have no quarrel with you.

Cyrus: Nor I with you. Let's be FRIENDS!



Asoka: The Chinese are evil! Kill them! :mad:

Cyrus: Forget that! I've got better things to kill!



Qin: The Indians are evil! Kill them! :mad:

Cyrus: More tempting, but no.



Caesar: You don't like the Greeks either? Have a salad, on the house!

Cyrus: Don't mind if I do. :D



Hammy: I can get you inside information. What do you say to conquering Persia and giving me my country back?

:egypt:Ramesses: I was going to anyway, but why not? Cyrus, you shall DIE!!!

Cyrus: Eh? Oh, if you insist on fighting, Rammy, I shall oblige you.

Chief Wise Man: Sir, our new mathematical formulae have led to a new invention for smashing cities and troops alike.

Cyrus: And a new test subject! Perfect! :mwaha: Begin research on how best to control the masses.



Minister of the Interior: Shahanshah Cyrus, we have founded Xanthos, one of those cities you wanted.

Cyrus: Most excellent.



That's all for now, folks, but I'm going to start playing the next portion now. Bosco signing off!
 

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Fantastic to see this back!
 
Once more it is time for an episode of the Parso-Turkish Empire! Last time, Hammy and Rammy had conspired against the Persians.

Tiribazus's second-in-command: It seems the Greek city of Byzantion is completely vulnerable! Chariot battalions, attack!



One pleasant stroll through the town later...

Cyrus: Very good job, colonel! What is your name?

2IC Darius: Darius, sir.

Cyrus: Very well then, your ingenuity has proven you worthy of taking the throne after I am gone. I declare you Crown Prince of Persia!

Darius: :cool:

Tiribazus: :wow:

Hammy: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! [pissed]

:egypt:Rammy: No matter, he will die like any man once I take control.



Cyrus: Now, Pericles, are you ready to be an adult and stop fighting against the most powerful nation on the face of the planet?

Pericles: Fine...



Tiribazus: Maybe you worthless sacks of manure can capture one city PROPERLY for a change.

Axeman: As you command, sir.

Tiribazus: That's right, as I command.



Axeman: Sir, the city is taken.

Tiribazus: Wonderful! As a reward, you can burn it.

Axeman: YES! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!! :mwaha:

Per-Atumans: :run:



High Priest: My son, God has found a girl to give visions of the future in order that we may prevail above all others. She has seen a vision of a world in which people so not barter, but trade pieces of metal for goods! We have converted a temple to Marduk which we were going to demolish into a place where she can relay to us God's plan.

Cyrus: This is excellent, father! Why do you talk so much?

High Priest: Our God lives by this belief: Why use one word when you can use twenty? As such, all priests of God are exceedingly verbose, even in times of severe word-famine.

Cyrus: I see... :confused:

[Nothing is being said here about Judaism, it's just the way one priest in a high place interpreted things. Please do not take offense.]



Minister of the Interior: Excellency, Trapezon has been founded.

Cyrus: Soon, all of Anatolia will be MINE! :mwaha:



Expect another update today, or failing that, not until Sunday at the earliest. Until then, so long!
 

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That was fast! Here we go on another whirlwind adventure in Persia! This post will be short, because the next post will be all about ONE TURN OF AWESOME!!!

That said...

Hammy: This isn't working. Field trip!

Asoka: What do you want?

Hammy: You to attack Persia while they're distracted subjugating Egypt!

Asoka: That idea has merit, surprisingly...

Hammy: Yay! Wait a minute... [We need a dawning realization smilie!]



Pericles: I'm sorry for being a stupid jerk who tried to fight such an awesome nation. Will you trade with me?

Cyrus: Absolutely!



Tokugawa: Meh. Outsiders.

Cyrus: I don't want anything to do with you either, so that works out nicely.



Rising-Sun citizens [eastern, not Japanese] Oh noes! The Indians attack! :run:

Cyrus: Really? I thought it was one of those "technically" wars! Darn... Uh-oh, now I am personally in danger! :run:

Hammy's Inner Monologue: More than you think... :mwaha:



Mediator: Can't we resolve this Egyptian conflict peacefully?

Cyrus: NO! EXECUTE THIS MAN!

Mediator: Gulp... :(



Qin: I don't like you, but I'd like to trade with you anyway.

Cyrus: Aw, why so blue, panda bear?

Panda Bear Qin: You're a Jew. And don't call me that.

Cyrus: Ouch... :( Everybody always hates me because I'm Jewish! [True in the mid game, less so right now]



Cyrus: Well, that army outside my city really worries me... Wait, who are you?

:ninja:: Hammurabi sent us to have you and your adopted son eliminated!

Cyrus: WHAT???? :eek:

CLIFFHANGER
 

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