Emperor Bosco I
Guiding the flock
Hey guys, thought that after reading S&T for months and months it was finally time to start a story of my own. As this is my first, please be understanding if my first couple of posts are a little off the standard layout. This story is planned to be about the rise and fall of Persia as it is supplanted by the Ottoman Empire. But you aren't here to listen to me ramble. Well, actually, you are, but not about behind-the-scenes stuff. You want to hear a good story. Here goes!
Ahem: In the beginning...
Parsi Peoples: We're tired of living as nomads pushed around by the People of the Setting Sun. It's time to settle down and make a little war! But who should lead us?
Cyrus the Horseherd: I've got nothing better to do.
Parsi Peoples: We bow to you, our new Shah!
Shah Cyrus: I command you to build a city here to be our capital, the great City of Parsa! After that, some of your number should trek away from the Great Sea into the mountains and found another city. All of you with weapons are to form a great Army of the Immortals and march towards the setting of the Sun to claim what is rightfully ours from the curs!
Eastern Nomads: Should we establish contact with those towards the Rising of the Sun and explore the world?
Cyrus: Oh, uh, right. Yes, do that please. And some of you archers go to protect the new mountain city.
Archers: It shall be done, our lord.
Cyrus: Wise men, what is a "farm"?
Chief Wise Man: I'll get back to you in a bit, my king.
Persian General: Sir, as we came to the closest major enemy settlement, they surrendered!
Cyrus: All the better! What do these citizens call the hated foe's empire of tyranny and oppression?
General: Babylonia, sir.
Well, march forth and conquer this Babylonia for the people of Persia!
General: Very good, sir.
Charioteer: General, we've reached the enemy capital! They're protecting themselves with clubs. I predict a 50% chance of victory if we were to attack now.
General: 50%, eh? Nothing to sneeze at. Take the city, soldier.
Charioteer: The city is ours, sir!
General: Excellent. Now move towards the last bastion of our hated foe.
Meanwhile, back in the capital...
Interior Advisor: my lord, the citizens in the mountains have founded the city of Artacoana.
Cyrus: Wonderful! The kingdom needs more hardworking folk like them.
Immortal: Sir, the Babylonian defenders have attacked out of the city!
General: How amusing. Had they stayed put, they might have kept the city. Take it from them.
Immortal: Yes, sir!
One surprisingly short battle later:
Hammurabi: NOOOOOOO!
Cyrus: You shouldn't have picked on the Great Nation of Persia, Hammy.
Hammy: But you were only nomads...
Shahanshah Cyrus: Don't worry. You can keep your lands. All you have to do is swear allegiance to me and you will be the governor of the Province of Babylonia under the Persian Empire.
Hammy: Sounds much better than getting beheaded. I'll do it.
Cyrus: Splendid.
If you're wondering why I kept Nineveh instead of burning it down on account of starving out Babylon and Shushan, then you aren't alone. Force of habit, I guess.
General: Chariot Divisions, scout out further towards the setting Sun!
Charioteers: As you command, General.
Feels like the end of a chapter to me. Be sure to tune in to the Parso-Turkish Empire next time!
Ahem: In the beginning...
Parsi Peoples: We're tired of living as nomads pushed around by the People of the Setting Sun. It's time to settle down and make a little war! But who should lead us?
Cyrus the Horseherd: I've got nothing better to do.
Parsi Peoples: We bow to you, our new Shah!
Shah Cyrus: I command you to build a city here to be our capital, the great City of Parsa! After that, some of your number should trek away from the Great Sea into the mountains and found another city. All of you with weapons are to form a great Army of the Immortals and march towards the setting of the Sun to claim what is rightfully ours from the curs!
Eastern Nomads: Should we establish contact with those towards the Rising of the Sun and explore the world?
Cyrus: Oh, uh, right. Yes, do that please. And some of you archers go to protect the new mountain city.
Archers: It shall be done, our lord.
Cyrus: Wise men, what is a "farm"?
Chief Wise Man: I'll get back to you in a bit, my king.
Persian General: Sir, as we came to the closest major enemy settlement, they surrendered!
Cyrus: All the better! What do these citizens call the hated foe's empire of tyranny and oppression?
General: Babylonia, sir.
Well, march forth and conquer this Babylonia for the people of Persia!
General: Very good, sir.
Charioteer: General, we've reached the enemy capital! They're protecting themselves with clubs. I predict a 50% chance of victory if we were to attack now.
General: 50%, eh? Nothing to sneeze at. Take the city, soldier.
Charioteer: The city is ours, sir!
General: Excellent. Now move towards the last bastion of our hated foe.
Meanwhile, back in the capital...
Interior Advisor: my lord, the citizens in the mountains have founded the city of Artacoana.
Cyrus: Wonderful! The kingdom needs more hardworking folk like them.
Immortal: Sir, the Babylonian defenders have attacked out of the city!
General: How amusing. Had they stayed put, they might have kept the city. Take it from them.
Immortal: Yes, sir!
One surprisingly short battle later:
Hammurabi: NOOOOOOO!
Cyrus: You shouldn't have picked on the Great Nation of Persia, Hammy.
Hammy: But you were only nomads...
Shahanshah Cyrus: Don't worry. You can keep your lands. All you have to do is swear allegiance to me and you will be the governor of the Province of Babylonia under the Persian Empire.
Hammy: Sounds much better than getting beheaded. I'll do it.
Cyrus: Splendid.
If you're wondering why I kept Nineveh instead of burning it down on account of starving out Babylon and Shushan, then you aren't alone. Force of habit, I guess.
General: Chariot Divisions, scout out further towards the setting Sun!
Charioteers: As you command, General.
Feels like the end of a chapter to me. Be sure to tune in to the Parso-Turkish Empire next time!
Ramesses: I was going to anyway, but why not? Cyrus, you shall DIE!!!
![[pissed]](/images/smilies/pissed.gif "Pissed [pissed]")
: Hammurabi sent us to have you and your adopted son eliminated!
