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The place is Sumeria

Discussion in 'Civ4 - General Discussions' started by Simplicity2, Jul 25, 2007.

  1. Simplicity2

    Simplicity2 Chieftain

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    The place is Sumeria... The year, 1487.

    B.C.?

    No! Not B.C., you stupid sod. There aren't a whole lot of changes to BtS in 1487 B.C., now are there?

    Well, there's espionage. You could get Alphabet or Priesthood as Sumeria to get Ziggurats...

    Alright, alright, alright. Shut up, shut up. I'll start over.

    The place is Sumeria... The year, 1487. A.D. Not long ago, the people of Sumeria had thought themselves alone in the world. As every scout they sent forth had found only lions and wolves as opposition. The best laid plans of the great Sumerian dynasty lay in ruins.

    Gilgamesh I... He built an army of elite vultures fighters to reign his death down upon the animals of the world. If there had been enemies to fight, he would have been ready for them.

    Gilgamesh II... Widely derided as Mr. This-Alphabet-Thing-Will-Be-Important-Some-Day. As the Sumerians discovered that they were truly alone... The ability to share knowledge was simply not all that useful.

    Gilgamesh III.... He sought to build many ziggurats to spy upon the foes of Sumeria early! But he found them less than useful when the wolves learned to distinguish between Sumerian spies and other wolves.

    And so, by 1487 (A.D.), the Sumerians had sent their ships into the deep blue ocean... and discovered that there were in fact other people on this world. The Incans, strangely peaceful people who had not even bothered to settle their entire continent. The Greeks, shifty eyed neighbors to the north. The Aztecs, people who had gone crazy from their own isolation.

    Finally, the Sumerians had a purpose. An inner peace that came from knowing that they were not alone. They had decided to do what of course needed to be done: to kill every last remaining person who was not Sumerian. And so, their galleons loaded, they rapidly snatched two of the Incan cities (and their one new settlement which had popped up). It turned out that though the Sumerians were isolated and totally misruled... The other rulers of the world were incredibly stupid.

    The Incans had left their cities defended by 2 archers, but Sumeria had Galleons ferrying 3 macemen each, as well as horse archers to run strafing runs of first defenders. Sumeria raised great blockades around the Incan ports and blasted the few Incan triremes to pieces (before Gunpowder, which is certainly an amazing feat).

    The Incans didn't take this laying down, they sent forth spies to poison the water of their former citizens, destroy their buildings, and generally make a nuisance of themselves.

    Finally, all that remained was the Incan capitol, a well-defended fortress on a hill with multiple squadrons of longbowmen, chariots, catapults, and horse archers of its own. The Sumerian army took position around it and proceeded with their bombardment...

    And now for something completely different.
     
  2. anandus

    anandus Errorist

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    Great read :lol:
     
  3. Lord_Azazel

    Lord_Azazel Prime Swatter

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    Nice one, was fun
     
  4. pengoyo

    pengoyo Chieftain

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    That was a refreshing fun read :p -> :lol:
     
  5. phungus420

    phungus420 Deity

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    Yeah, got a couple laughs out of me.
     
  6. allansm

    allansm Chieftain

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    Very fun. :lol:
     
  7. MrZeddify

    MrZeddify Chieftain

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    'Gilgamesh III.... He sought to build many ziggurats to spy upon the foes of Sumeria early! But he found them less than useful when the wolves learned to distinguish between Sumerian spies and other wolves'

    Hahaha XD
     
  8. sneaky

    sneaky Prince

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    Good read! :lol:

    Please continue!
     
  9. magicalsushi

    magicalsushi Prince

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    Oxford, UK
    Like it. :D
     
  10. Simplicity2

    Simplicity2 Chieftain

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    When we last left our Sumerian friends, they had surrounded the Incan capitol and were about to wage bloody war. Bloody indeed. But the Incans were a clever sort, and just as their main city approached its darkest hour, a general, Michiel de Ruyter, arose from the Incan ranks.

    Wait a minute... wait a minute. de Ruyter? That doesn't sound very Incan... Not enough "chits" or "atls" in it. Are you sure...

    The foreign general, Michiel de Ruyter, exchange student at the Incan War Academy was instrumental at holding the capitol... The Sumerian armies were badly beaten before his legions, and thus were forced to to turn from the capitol and take one of the new Incan cities that had sprung up nearby on a local iron mine.

    The Sumerian ineptness of rule continued into areas of war it seemed. Finally, a peace agreement was arranged whereby the Incas would serve as vassals under Sumeria. And Sumeria would rapidly settle the rest of the Incan continent. Thus began the new Sumerian strategy of "containment".

    The Sumerians still had one major advantage--

    Good after school programs?

    No. Their navy. The Sumerian navy was second to none, and they would build the largest fleet of privateers the world had ever seen. The Russians and Greeks were approaching their level of technology. It was time to ruin their economies. The Sumerians in their foolishness chose to blockade the Russians first. The Sumerians chose poorly.

    Right. Maybe they should hire some consultants or something. I hear Shaka is available...

    Just as the last pirate vessel slid into blockade position around Russia, the shifty-eyed Greeks to the north struck. After killing two brigades of musketmen, dozens of greek brigades poured into the Sumerian city of Zimbir, leaving the Sumerians stupified at their numbers and the quality of their troops. Said the Sumerian prime minister at the time, Gilgamesh XI, "Well, so much for this job."

    Gilgamesh XI, in his last days in office, sent his new enemies a goodbye note that read as follows. "Say hello to our new friend... Russia. Expect some privateers to be headed your way."
     
  11. PimpyMicPimp

    PimpyMicPimp Regrets His Username.

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    XD I'm loving this.
     
  12. Simplicity2

    Simplicity2 Chieftain

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    The people of Sumeria were fed up with their pitiful leadership. Gilgamesh XI was sacked, and the people sought new blood to rule their country. Luckily Gilgamesh XII (no relation) was there to take over. His first priority, retake the city of Zimbir and drive the Greeks from the continent. In the meantime, he would have to drive off the massive Greek armada of a dozen Galleons and Caravels to prevent further invasion. After that, he had a dinner at 8:00, and then it would probably be time for bed.

    He let the Greek macemen, crossbowmen, catapults, and trebuchets approach the next Sumerian city... And then let out a fierce cry, "Pass the Cuirassiers!" He watched in glee as the Cuirassier troops demolished the macemen, and then smiled as he thought of their new flank attack ability. There must have been seven catapult troops alone in that stack.... But again, the Sumerians found failure. The Cuirassiers couldn't be bothered to flank attack anything less than some sort of mega-gunpowder gun which hadn't been invented yet. Catapults were beneath them.

    With great luck, the defenses were enough to hold anyway. "I meant to do that," quote the great Gilgamesh XII. He then gave his troops some lunch, and headed off to Zimbir to take it back and see what remained of the famous Statues of Maoi. The answer was nothing. The now veteran Cuirassiers had now become Cavalry, and the few remaining Greek defenders could not stand before them.

    Just then, Gilgamesh XII received a soggy letter from his admirals. The letter read as follows: "Dear Prime Minister: You sent our four privateers to fight the Greek armada of Galleons. But Greece now has a dozen Frigates too, and you've killed us all--Arrrrgggblublublub."

    He wrote "blublublub"? Doesn't that seem a bit... uh...

    The heroes of the North Channel were instrumental in warning Sumeria of the impending dangers of the Greeks. Gilgamesh needed time to arm his country for the bloodiest war yet. His spies informed him that many of Alexander's cities were woefully underdefended. If he could just get a few Cavalry across the channel, he'd be able to cause massive damage. Gilgamesh signed a peace treaty with Alexander. A peace neither side had any intention of keeping for long.

    Meanwhile, in Russia, Peter the Great's generals lined up. "Should we strike, sir?" they asked.

    "Strike? Why on earth would we do that?" laughed Peter. "You didn't think I'd actually aid the people who had been raiding our shores did you?"
     
  13. aronnax

    aronnax Let your spirit be free

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    Funny:goodjob: Can I have some more?:please:
     
  14. Swedishguy

    Swedishguy Deity

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    Heh, I love this story. I shall keep an eye on this thread.
     
  15. Willowmound

    Willowmound Wordbug

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    Dude, it's a page turner! :goodjob:
     
  16. Lapoleon

    Lapoleon Chieftain

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    Very nice, you should start a thread in the Stories & Tales part of the forum.
     
  17. Simplicity2

    Simplicity2 Chieftain

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    (Done. I'll just double post to here and that forum. Hopefully no one minds. I figured someone might like a BtS DAR/AAR in this one... BTW, thanks everyone for all the positive posts. :) ).
     
  18. Simplicity2

    Simplicity2 Chieftain

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    Gilgamesh XII looked upon the enemy fleets with despair. "What are those?", he asked his advisors.

    "Ships of the Line", they replied.

    "And our ships are?"

    "Frigates. They eat Frigates." The advisors shook their heads.

    "Yes, but how *many* frigates do they eat? MAKE MORE FRIGATES!!!"

    The advisors left wondering how long Gilgamesh XII was going to be in this job.

    Gilgamesh XII knew he had to act fast. He built an enormous army of 15 cavalry brigades, and waited for the right time to strike. If he could just take the under defended Greek cities, he'd be able to cripple them.

    By now the Greeks were at war with nearly every nation on the planet.


    Maybe he's just misunderstood?

    The Greeks were not, however, terribly affected by the constant war, but when the Chinese (vassal to the Khmer) asked the Sumerians to join war again, Gilgamesh could not refuse.

    He quickly sent his cavalry across the northern channel and into the lands outside the Greek city of Argos. Meanwhile he sent his warships up to the coast to do battle with the Greek armada.

    It was not Sumeria's finest hour. Within moments, swarms of Knights, catapults, and grenadiers travelled down the Greek transit network and Argos went from containing four brigades to a dozen. And the cavalry were surrounded and destroyed.

    The warships fought valiantly against the Greek armada, but they too took heavy casualties with little results. It was time for a change of tactics. A single Galleon floated across the Northern channel and then mysteriously left. It's cargo, the Sumerian spy... Joseph Rosenburg.


    Aw... COME ON. That is NOT a Sumerian name. Whatever...

    A massive campaign of water poisoning and sowing disorder began in the Greek lands. Only time would tell if it would have an effect. Meanwhile the Greek armada grew larger.
     
  19. Figaro

    Figaro Tywysog

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    ROFL!:lol: :lol:
     
  20. narmox

    narmox Emperor

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    I'm starting to notice a pattern of the Greeks leading a naval invasion and executing massive D-Day style landings.. Happened to me in one of my games too..
     

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