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The Rise

Discussion in 'Civ4 - Stories & Tales' started by Hyena Dandy, Jan 28, 2010.

  1. Hyena Dandy

    Hyena Dandy Chieftain

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2010
    Messages:
    9
    Well, I'm... Uh, actually, not very good at this game, you know... I can only beat it on Settler... Which is embarassing, but... This is more to keep up my writing, and play around with some styles. A friend recommended it to me since I haven't done much writing lately.

    I'm using the Ethnic Mix More mod, playing as the Maya (Pacal II) on Chieftan.

    I'm not good at keeping track of turn numbers, but I'll put the year for you. :)

    And hey, if you got tips to make me a better Civ-er (is that a word?) or writer, let me know.





    The year is 4000 BC

    The small, nomadic tribes have been living practically in exile... But hard times have gotten harder for them... They once were able to at least camp... But all their materials, save what they have on their backs, are gone... Lost when the earth opened up and swallowed them whole. They've only gone a few miles... Its too cold to go much further through the icy forest.

    They shiver in the frozen forests... Its a cold day, and two brothers, the sons of the chieftain who died when the earth opened, stand by a river, giving thanks to it. Mutal, the elder. "My brother..." He says, looking across the nearly frozen river, "My wife gave birth today..."

    Pacal turns to him, smiling "That's wonderful!"

    Mutal shakes his head, "No, brother... Its far from wonderful..." He looks down, "Father didn't teach you the ways of the prophets... But he taught me. I've seen the signs, brother..." he says. "As soon as my legacy has been secured... I'm going to die."

    Pacal shakes his head, disbelieving, "You've misinterpreted it... Come on, back to camp..."

    Mutal stares across the river a little more... Before standing to follow his brother. Before they get their... It begins to rain... Icy rain, but rain nonetheless... The two brothers take shelter under a tree... Just a few hundred yards outside of camp...

    Mutal seems anxious, looking around nervously, as the thunder cracks in the sky... He's afraid... He knows he's going to die today.

    "Maybe we should wait here..." Mutal says. Pacal can see the fear in his brother's eyes... He wants to tell him not to be afraid, but Mutal is superstitious. He knows there would be no use.

    "Of course... I'll run ahead." He gives his brother a warm smile, "We'll come back with some blankets. You stay here, you'll be safe. Don't worry. Things will be okay."

    Mutal gives a weak smile back, but there's a pleading tone in his voice... "Hurry."

    Pacal starts running... Dodging trees through the forest... He gets to camp.

    "Jilinik," he calls out, and a young warrior comes up to him, wearing animal skins, "Jilinik, get as many as you can. Mutal's in the woods, and he won't move. Hurry!"

    There's commotion in the camp, but soon Jilinik and his men start running with Pacal back to his brother... Until a flash of light blinds them, and they're thrown to the ground. Blinded, they can feel incredible heat... But once they can see, they realize they're surrounded by an inferno. They hurry back to the safety of camp... Hoping the rain will put it out.

    By the next day, the fire is out, and Jilinik, along with Pacal, return to the spot they'd been blinded... Everything is burned down... And Mutal's skeleton is found, eventually, under a tree. Fire in his eyes, Pacal turns to the men and women around him.

    "My name is Pacal the second. My father was Pacal the first. For years, my family has lead us around these forests... Hunting, fishing, living where we can. No more. We are done roaming... Now, in this fire-cleared forest, we will put down our bags, and raise shelter. This will be our home... From now on. Jilinik and his men will go explore... Find areas beyond the forests of the Maya. And we? We will build a great city. And we will call it..." He looks back at the corpse of his brother. "Mutal."


    (Founded Mutal, sent 1 unit of warriors to auto-explore)
     
  2. mechaerik

    mechaerik Tuturuu!

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2008
    Messages:
    7,064
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    Cool so far, interesting story.

    Welcome to the forums, Hyena Dandy.

    May I suggest including some screenshots? If you press Print Screen (PRT SC), it basically copies the screen, which you can then paste in Paint and what not, to save.
     
  3. Danger Bird

    Danger Bird gravity's angel

    Joined:
    Aug 13, 2004
    Messages:
    347
    Location:
    North Pacific Ocean
    Good story.

    I would recommend against using auto-explore for the warriors. The unit will uncover land more efficiently if you think about where you are moving it. And will be less likely to die as well.

    Small point on writing: Don't use three periods at the end of sentences. Makes it hard to read. One is enough.
     

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